Not sure if Childcare is Right for Me Anymore...

[Soccermom]

Every single day...I could have written your post. It is so tough. I feel sorry for my kids every single day and wonder what impact all this will have on them later on. I never have the time I want to do the stay at home mom things I always dreamed of doing...yes I am home but I am working..sometimes I wonder if it is harder to not see mom or see her but have to fight for her attention.

They have to deal with kids being mean all day at school and then they have to come home to a house full of dcks. I just want to be the mom in an apron handing out milk, cookies and undivided attention to my children when they walk through the door....

[mom2many]

I'm an empty nester now and remember those days when I felt the same as you do. My kids are 26, 24, & 21 and I'm expecting my first grandbaby any day now!

In retrospect, I have to say that having a home daycare benefited my kids tremendously and most definitely has prepared my daughter for mommyhood!

They learned how to socialize with other children (while I got paid for their friends to be here) and I was able to prepare them each for school doing a preschool program with them and the other children in my care. I know I spent more quality time doing these preschool activities, than I would have if I'd just had my kids home with me. I put lots of time and energy into making sure our days were filled with fun learning activities.

They had to share me with other children and learned to be independent. I know this was a good thing, because I would have had a hard time not doing everything for them if I could!

They learned to be compassionate and good role models for the younger kids.

There was never any negative issues and it helped our family tremendously having the extra income that I was able to provide.

Yes, in some ways I would have loved not having to juggle so many things in one day...but it was a blessing in so many more!

[Willow]

I'm an empty nester now and remember those days when I felt the same as you do. My kids are 26, 24, & 21 and I'm expecting my first grandbaby any day now!

In retrospect, I have to say that having a home daycare benefited my kids tremendously and most definitely has prepared my daughter for mommyhood!

They learned how to socialize with other children (while I got paid for their friends to be here) and I was able to prepare them each for school doing a preschool program with them and the other children in my care. I know I spent more quality time doing these preschool activities, than I would have if I'd just had my kids home with me. I put lots of time and energy into making sure our days were filled with fun learning activities.

They had to share me with other children and learned to be independent. I know this was a good thing, because I would have had a hard time not doing everything for them if I could!

They learned to be compassionate and good role models for the younger kids.

There was never any negative issues and it helped our family tremendously having the extra income that I was able to provide.

Yes, in some ways I would have loved not having to juggle so many things in one day...but it was a blessing in so many more!

I am just a half dozen years officially licensed but I hope I can say the same things some day.

Although every day isn't perfect we make the best of it we can and so far so good! My kids don't see what I do as any sort of intrusion or inconvenience on their lives. They know what I'm doing is exactly for them and they have been quite grateful, accommodating and are usually very helpful even though I don't expect them to step in at all.


I was taught and am teaching my children now that your life is exactly what you believe it to be.

If you believe your life ****s because it's not the perfect way you envisioned it and your kids are going to hate you for doing what you do for them, then that's exactly what you'll end up with....a ****y life with kids who hate you.

If however (and in the words of my father) you could still find happiness while dirt floor poor, starving and living in a cardboard box then that's exactly what you'll always be......happy.



I choose happy.

I know I am far more blessed than most and choose to see that everyday instead of dwelling on not having even more.


I do understand venting, but sometimes perspective is helpful to pull yourself out of a slump.

[Crazy8]

I think how you start this job is an influence in how you feel about it too... I went back to work when my DD was 7 weeks old. She was in a dc center, I worked full time. I hated every second of it. It wasn't until she was 18 months old that we bought our first house and I was able to quit and start my daycare. Whenever I got down about giving up part of my home, not being able to go to my kids school during the day, etc. I thought back to the alternative and I'm very happy with the career I chose. Now that my kids are getting older I am wondering if this is what I want to do "forever" but I don't regret a second of doing it all the years they were home.
I often meet SAHM's who say they want to start a daycare "for extra income" and I don't want to discourage them but at the same time I can see that they just really have no clue what they will be giving up for that "extra income".

I also have a separate playroom for the daycare, my kids always had our family room and their bedroom as their own space for their own toys. Nothing they owned needed to be shared with dc kids unless they chose to.

[jokalima]

I feel so good after reading this topic because I feel exactly the same. Sometimes I think I am going to loose it and I get very frustrated and talk to the kids in a not very nice way, then I realize I am doing it and start to calm myself down. Is just that is so hard, I did this for my son and is like backfiring at us, DC is not working for him, he has issues adjusting and it's been a while, since he was 3 months old, he is now 2 and 1/2
But I have no option, if I work outside I will be working to pay for a DC for him and wont be with him, but being with him is not turning out good because of all the stress the DC puts on him ah! it gets really bad, sometimes I just want to cry.

[cheerfuldom]

I think how you start this job is an influence in how you feel about it too... I went back to work when my DD was 7 weeks old. She was in a dc center, I worked full time. I hated every second of it. It wasn't until she was 18 months old that we bought our first house and I was able to quit and start my daycare. Whenever I got down about giving up part of my home, not being able to go to my kids school during the day, etc. I thought back to the alternative and I'm very happy with the career I chose. Now that my kids are getting older I am wondering if this is what I want to do "forever" but I don't regret a second of doing it all the years they were home.
I often meet SAHM's who say they want to start a daycare "for extra income" and I don't want to discourage them but at the same time I can see that they just really have no clue what they will be giving up for that "extra income".

I also have a separate playroom for the daycare, my kids always had our family room and their bedroom as their own space for their own toys. Nothing they owned needed to be shared with dc kids unless they chose to.

Great points! I think expectations about daycare or reasons for doing daycare really play a huge role in how one copes with the challenges. I did daycare for a couple years in a very small house and it was so awful....not going to lie. It was a bad idea to start out that way. Now that we have separate daycare space(basement), good rules and boundaries, and parents that respect those for the most part....that has made the difference for me and my kids. I know a TON of people that think they can watch a few kids and earn easy money. Not very many stick it out but its their own journey to discover if it will work for them or not.

[rhymia1]

I'm an empty nester now and remember those days when I felt the same as you do. My kids are 26, 24, & 21 and I'm expecting my first grandbaby any day now!

In retrospect, I have to say that having a home daycare benefited my kids tremendously and most definitely has prepared my daughter for mommyhood!

They learned how to socialize with other children (while I got paid for their friends to be here) and I was able to prepare them each for school doing a preschool program with them and the other children in my care. I know I spent more quality time doing these preschool activities, than I would have if I'd just had my kids home with me. I put lots of time and energy into making sure our days were filled with fun learning activities.

They had to share me with other children and learned to be independent. I know this was a good thing, because I would have had a hard time not doing everything for them if I could!

They learned to be compassionate and good role models for the younger kids.

There was never any negative issues and it helped our family tremendously having the extra income that I was able to provide.

Yes, in some ways I would have loved not having to juggle so many things in one day...but it was a blessing in so many more!

I love that my kids got the experiences they did, and I like to think they are better kids for it.

When my oldest daughter tells me she wishes I didn't watch kids, I remind her of all the things she has because of my job. Being able to come home at the end of the day rather than stay in after school care, having her friends over each day, sleeping in on days off from school, nice vacations, etc.

I know I've often said that there is no way I would have done 1/2 the things with my kids if I were a SAHM that I did with them because of the job.
Of all the work at home jobs, this is the only one that actually expects you to be with the kids, play with them, teach them, etc. I often get calls from parents who have work from home arrangments with their employer. They initially thought they would keep their kids home, get some work done during naps, etc. But they find the work world doesn't wait until naptime, and more often than not they are sticking in videos or "shushing" kids so they can take conference calls. So now they are looking for child care.

Right now with my kids at young school aged my set up works. Later on I may make the move to the basement (if I can swing a 1/2 bath addition down there) so the main level will be for the grown-ups.

[cheerfuldom]

I love that my kids got the experiences they did, and I like to think they are better kids for it.

When my oldest daughter tells me she wishes I didn't watch kids, I remind her of all the things she has because of my job. Being able to come home at the end of the day rather than stay in after school care, having her friends over each day, sleeping in on days off from school, nice vacations, etc.

I know I've often said that there is no way I would have done 1/2 the things with my kids if I were a SAHM that I did with them because of the job.
Of all the work at home jobs, this is the only one that actually expects you to be with the kids, play with them, teach them, etc. I often get calls from parents who have work from home arrangments with their employer. They initially thought they would keep their kids home, get some work done during naps, etc. But they find the work world doesn't wait until naptime, and more often than not they are sticking in videos or "shushing" kids so they can take conference calls. So now they are looking for child care.

Right now with my kids at young school aged my set up works. Later on I may make the move to the basement (if I can swing a 1/2 bath addition down there) so the main level will be for the grown-ups.

another good point. I was trying to juggle a different work at home job when my oldest was born and it did not go well at all. daycare suits her better even though things are not perfect.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

It is the parents and their extremely high demands and/or coddling of their children that has made the past 2 weeks for me miserable. Absolutely miserable. I am spent.