Not sure if Childcare is Right for Me Anymore...

[MaritimeMummy]

Anyone here "not sure" if they are in the right business? There are days when I love this job, I love that I can wake up in the morning and be with my kids, and I have a great, small group of kids. But, then I always end up feeling bad for my kids because there is always another child here, playing with their "special' toys, getting in their space, etc. Hard things since our house is really small. I love the kids and I love the parents, but I just never felt like my heart was fully in it. Yet, I hate the thought of putting my own kids in day care and getting a job outside of the home. I'm pretty much stuck, aren't I? I just wanted so bad to be a stay at home mom to my kids but we needed to supplement my husband's income, it seemed like the logical step. Now I don't know. :-(

I have a week's vacation coming up and will be going to part-time very soon, having Mondays off (or, "on call" for one family, to be specific), so I will see if these breaks will help with these feelings I am having, but what about you? Do you worry/wonder sometimes if you are doing what is best for your family?

[canadiancare]

I have done this since 1992. I trained as an Early Childhood Educator and when my son was born in late 1991 I knew I wouldn't be going back to work in a centre just to pay for him to go to daycare. My 2 sons are in university now and my daughter is in high school. I am committed to getting my current group to school which coincides with my daughter starting university. After that I plan to find a job that allows me to use other parts of my brain since I know I have a hunger for something more challenging to my intelligence. Childcare for me has become a rote skill and, while I know I am good at it and I love the children there are days when I don't pick up a pen to write much more than the kids's names on their artwork.
I use the main floor of my home as the daycare and, since my own children are grown it would be nice to have an adult home.

[DaisyMamma]

Yep. exactly.
And now that I've been in it for a little while I am making more money then I would outside the home. Plus I would be paying daycare for my kids ontop of that, so it's never going to happen.
I'm just really careful about which kids I enroll.
My own children know that if they have "special toys" that they can keep them in their bedroom so they don't have to share. it's hard on them.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

Yes, at times it was difficult for my kidlets to have to share everyday. Now my dd is 21 and seeking and elementary education major. My ds is 15 and is so great with the littles. We homeschool so they were both here all the way through. My ds even became a godfather this past year because he is so good with this families children. I don't watch their kids, they are friends. I now would never replace the experience my own kids have gained by having the littles here. Dd studies well at college because it was always chaos here
Suggestions- try to seperate your business from kidlets own stuff. Let them sort through and pick out their beloved toys and place those up for non daycare hours. The rest are daycares and to be shared. I upheld all rules for daycare hours for my kidlets too. As dd got older she was allowed to go upstairs to play in her room. Same with ds, after he was school aged. Otherwise, he did what the daycare kids did. I have a seperate daycare room and they use the breakfast nook. The rest of the house is off limits.
I did take a yr off when dd was a senior in hs and I was ready for littles again after that year! I missed them. They now keep her in college)
Good luck in trying to discern if this is still for you. (I have been at this for 16 years - a yr off)

[rhymia1]

Anyone here "not sure" if they are in the right business? There are days when I love this job, I love that I can wake up in the morning and be with my kids, and I have a great, small group of kids. But, then I always end up feeling bad for my kids because there is always another child here, playing with their "special' toys, getting in their space, etc. Hard things since our house is really small. I love the kids and I love the parents, but I just never felt like my heart was fully in it. Yet, I hate the thought of putting my own kids in day care and getting a job outside of the home. I'm pretty much stuck, aren't I? I just wanted so bad to be a stay at home mom to my kids but we needed to supplement my husband's income, it seemed like the logical step. Now I don't know. :-(

I have a week's vacation coming up and will be going to part-time very soon, having Mondays off (or, "on call" for one family, to be specific), so I will see if these breaks will help with these feelings I am having, but what about you? Do you worry/wonder sometimes if you are doing what is best for your family?

Yes, I am feeling burned out, but not because of my own family issues. More and more I feel that the state is taking away common sense and making it so that all we can do is to try to keep kids safe. Time outs are now out of fashion so it won't be long until we can't do them legally. Can't "restrain" a child who is behaving in a dangerous manner in a high chair/PNP in many states leaving you no option but to terminate. Everyday another reg comes down the pike making it harder and harder to stay in business.
I have always loved how wonderful this career meshed with my family life. I got to be home with my kids when they were little, I always knew how their day was and what they did. I love being home when they get off the bus or if they have a day off of school. If they are sick, I don't have to call in to work (that depends on why though!) I've been very fortunate to have really good families/kids and make a very good salary doing this.
That said, most home providers do not make the kind of money I do, and if I wasn't really feeling it, I would get a part time weekend/evening job to supplment our income. Then the kids would be home with their father - and get much needed daddy/child bonding time, while I went to work.
I do see a time in the near future when I stop doing this. However I am so spolied working for myself I have no idea how I would deal with coworkers again!::
Good Luck finding your path!

[rhymia1]

Oh, my kids toys are in their rooms. I have DC toys and they have their toys. The dc kids were never allowed in my kids bedrooms. My own kids needed their space/toys for security.

[MaritimeMummy]

I started doing Usborne a week ago. i hope to make enough with that that I can drop 2 of my kids and just keep my cousin's little guy 2 days a week. That would be IDEAL.

[wahmof3]

YES! I am feeling it right now. I ask myself what the heck I am doing, especially on days like I am having today. BUT I can't see myself (right now) working outside the home. My kids need me. I do however see some changes coming with my program. My normal hours are 7am-4:30p but I keep 1 DCG M-W 2:30pm-12am. She is so easy but the long hours are taking its toll on me and I might have to term.

[MaritimeMummy]

My son and daughter share a room and their special toys are in there but in order to keep the other kids out I have to either put a gate up in the bedroom door frame, or child proof the knob. That doesn't really give my own kids free access, and no matter how much I try t grind it into the DCKs that that room is OFF LIMITS, I'm constantly wrangling one of them out of there...opening their toy box or pulling all their books off the shelf. It only takes a second...they're fast!

[lil angels]

I have thought about it many times. I have loved not having to bring my oun kids to dc. Or get them up in the early morning because I have to be to work at 7 am they can sleep when work comes to me. I can get dinner going at nap and get my laundry done to. But I have both boys in school all day and now think should I keep doing this or get a different job outside of the house and I am very torn. I do really enjoy the kids and still if mine don't have school or are sick I will still be here for them. I also am not happy with all the new rules that are coming into play. Everything out there it seems is only paying $10 an hr so I might as well stay here and only take in 3 kids it would be the same. Oh I don't know I have started putting all of my daycare money in a savings account except what i would make at a $10 an hr job and I am going to see if we can live off of that it would help me figure it out a bit easier.

I don't know I guess if nothing else I guess you can know that you are not the only one out their that wonders sometimes if this is for them.

[cheerfuldom]

I think your mixed emotions are very common and not just exclusive to home daycare providers. Its important to realize that no matter what you decide to do, there is always going to be times when you wonder if you are doing the right thing, if your kids are getting the best childhood possible, and that sort of thing. I really think that even if you were a SAHM, you would still have moments of worry about whether all the choices were the right one. Sometimes life is just accepting what we cant change. If daycare is what you have to do for now, then having a positive attitude is the best way to approach it. Sure your kids have to share their mom and thats hard....but they are fortunate kids that have so much to be thankful for. I know daycare is hard on my kids too but its the only way to make things work for now and there are many benefits for my kids and my family. Heck, my oldest is in kinder and she rocks at school! Teacher does not have to show her any self help skills and she is a little star there....but most of that is from being in a group environment since she was a wee one. Its not all bad!

[dave4him]

I could have posted almost the same thing, as I too think the same thoughts once in a while. I wonder if this is really the best thing for the kids, if my wife will go insane before the kids are old enough for school. I remind her this is only temporary but its hard when it feels like the other kids eat all of our food and play with all the toys and our kids get jipped. But here are a few things i remind myself.

1. No one is more capable of taking care of your own kids than you.
2. The kids need to learn social skills which come from having daycare kids around
3. The cost of having your kids in daycare, as in my case, is higher than if i stay at home with them and get added income.
4. You are growing through this in ways which will only serve you better tommrow.
5. You have access to hugs all the time!
6. Your kids are stronger than you... sometimes.

[bunnyslippers]

Thanks for posting this. I have been feeling the same way, and sometimes need reminders about the positive things about home daycare.

I miss teaching in a traditional school, but know that I will miss being home with my kids when they are big and on their own.

Hang in there!

[clep]

I remember when I started my day home. I was so elated to be able to stay home with my son while having a hand in shaping other young minds to give them the best head start possible.

The thrill faded for me after dealing with many of the unrealistic expectations parents have, their lack of parenting skills and the fact that my son had to share me with so many others. Yes he wasn't in care with another, but he wasn't in care with me either really. I also dislike the way our society is coddling children and raising an unaccountable society, with me being expected by the government and parents to conform to a standard I do not agree with. I do not wish to be at the mercy of a three year old's tantrums and demands because they get away with it with their parents and the government and "experts" cosign that mentality.

I realized this isn't for me anymore so I sat down and made a list of what I didn't want to be doing such as: Doing home parties, bugging my family and friends, having to be gone for long periods, pressuring people to buy things they didn't really want, selling tons of product for little profit, doing surveys, opinion polls, stuffing letters, selling perogies or food, or the next scam out there.

I did want to be working from home AROUND my family making them first, making a great income, working only part time if I could manage that, being able to work from anywhere, being able to work at any time of the day I wanted to, even the wee hours of the morning if an idea hits me, still be my own boss and be self reliant, help others in a truly meaningful way and work with or around others that are like minded and of strong integrity with exceptional people skills.

Yup it is a big list, but it really helped me narrow down the right fit for me. Maybe try a list like that and see what out there fits YOU. There is something for everyone.

[DCMama]

I understand where you are coming from. I do think that with any job you would eventually feel like that though. I mean if it's constantly the same every single day. but at the same time I guess taking the bad and the good and just focusing on the good can get you though it. I once was stuck at a job for a while feeling the exact same way. Sometime it may be a sign to move on though, sometime it's just cause you are burnt out with the same routine and need to change it up a little. Hope things goes well on the bright side, at least you have students to work with