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Disbelief Over Licensing Citation
I would REALLY appreciate some honest feedback here. Forgive me if this gets a little lengthy, I will try to be brief. Thanks in advance …
About 2 months ago, I had to terminate an 18 month old child for behavior (he became increasingly aggressive toward the end of the 5 months I watched him - he began spitting, throwing toys, pushing other kids down, climbing everything, screaming at the top of his lungs at nap time etc.) I was in communication with the mother about the child's behavior all along the way, and she stated she was having the same problems with the child at home. He would knock over all of her furniture, threw a toy across the room, splitting her lip, ripped her earrings from her ears repeatedly and once even slapped her across the face at pick up time.
I used as much redirection as possible (which honestly, at the end, was just continual) and ultimately used time-out to calm him down as a means of correction.
Finally, one day he became completely unmanageable and it literally took one of us (my assistant or I) tending to him one on one almost the entire day to prevent him from disrupting all the other children. At the end of the day, I let the mother know I was sorry, but that I felt I had exhausted the means available to me to keep her son mainstreamed into my group of kids. I told her that that day, I had needed to watch him individually or put him in and out of time out throughout the entire day, and that and that I believed he would be better watched elsewhere.
Suddenly, she became defensive and stated that she had never got complaints anywhere else except at my facility. She continued to bring her son as she looked for another care provider (I told her I would give her a week to find suitable care) and finally when she found someone who could take him mid-week, she asked for the remaining 3 days of her money back. I normally don't give refunds, but felt it was best for all concerned that he move on as soon as possible so I returned her money and she left.
Two weeks later, Licensing showed up at my door stating that a complaint had been filed against me. My analyst conducted an investigation and substantiated the complaint because I 'gave multiple time outs in a day' to this child, which in her opinion constitutes a violation of Title 22 and a child's personal rights. I was stunned, since I have a very clear discipline policy which includes redirection, expressing behavior expectations in age appropriate language (i.e. "we don't hit our friends"), and ultimately when necessary, a 'time-out' of 1 minute per age in years.
I immediately sent an appeal to my analyst’s supervisor, explaining to her that this mother was angry and retaliatory in her filing of the complaint – that she herself used time out with her son many times in front of me and stating that I had never seen anything anywhere that suggests that using time out as a behavior modification is violating of a child’s personal rights. I asked for specific parameters or alternatives to my verbal command, redirect, time-out progression. I let her know that my licensing analyst required my corrective actions for this citation to be submitted the following day (a Saturday) and that one of my requirements was to call the local office of education and obtain information on disciplining difficult children – (which only led them to tell me that they don’t deal with discipline at all and handle only education related business for school aged children.) Ridiculous that my analyst wouldn’t know that when she assigned the task to me.
I waited nearly a month without response to my appeal nor a return phone call to the voicemail I left her, and then last week I received a phone message from the previously terminated parent who is now, two months later, demanding a full refund for 5 months of full time child care or threatening to sue me, based on the substantiation of the complaint.
Most surprising of all is that today I received the response to my appeal and not only did the supervisor deny my appeal, but she sent me a three page scathing letter suggesting that I clearly do not have a good understanding, nor the ability to meet the needs of children under 3 years of age. She said that I should know that at their cognitive level, they cannot understand my behavior expectations when I speak to them and that my discipline policy is impractical because I don’t break it down in writing to address each specific age group of children I watch from 6 weeks to 12 years. She suggested that I ‘reexamine’ the age of children I provide care for and only watch older children if I am unable to remain calm and professional when I am working with infants.
WHAT???????????? Who said I was not calm and professional?
My jaw is still on the floor. Here I am in the midst of applying to expand my license from 8 to 12 children and she is telling me that I’m lucky I haven’t already lost my license … because I gave a child several time-outs in one day before terminating him at pick up.
Maybe I am completely deceiving myself, but I have raised 5 kids of my own, I have worked with many families in my daycare, my grown children nanny and babysit and EVERYONE I know uses this method to diffuse out of control behavior when nothing else works … up to and INCLUDING the parent who filed the complaint against me.
I really don’t know what to do. I feel humiliated. I am SO good to the kids I watch. My home and my entire family are like extended family to my daycare kids and parents. I don’t know what to do about my expansion at this point. I don’t want to spend hundreds of dollars to have this same woman veto my request because she feels I am already and un-fit provider. She gave me nothing to hold on to by her tone in this letter that gives me hope I would be approved.
I am a single mom who provides for a family of 6 with income from this business. I am just devastated. Someone please lend me some perspective. It’s things like this that make good people want to get out of the child-care profession. I am so disheartened.
About 2 months ago, I had to terminate an 18 month old child for behavior (he became increasingly aggressive toward the end of the 5 months I watched him - he began spitting, throwing toys, pushing other kids down, climbing everything, screaming at the top of his lungs at nap time etc.) I was in communication with the mother about the child's behavior all along the way, and she stated she was having the same problems with the child at home. He would knock over all of her furniture, threw a toy across the room, splitting her lip, ripped her earrings from her ears repeatedly and once even slapped her across the face at pick up time.
I used as much redirection as possible (which honestly, at the end, was just continual) and ultimately used time-out to calm him down as a means of correction.
Finally, one day he became completely unmanageable and it literally took one of us (my assistant or I) tending to him one on one almost the entire day to prevent him from disrupting all the other children. At the end of the day, I let the mother know I was sorry, but that I felt I had exhausted the means available to me to keep her son mainstreamed into my group of kids. I told her that that day, I had needed to watch him individually or put him in and out of time out throughout the entire day, and that and that I believed he would be better watched elsewhere.
Suddenly, she became defensive and stated that she had never got complaints anywhere else except at my facility. She continued to bring her son as she looked for another care provider (I told her I would give her a week to find suitable care) and finally when she found someone who could take him mid-week, she asked for the remaining 3 days of her money back. I normally don't give refunds, but felt it was best for all concerned that he move on as soon as possible so I returned her money and she left.
Two weeks later, Licensing showed up at my door stating that a complaint had been filed against me. My analyst conducted an investigation and substantiated the complaint because I 'gave multiple time outs in a day' to this child, which in her opinion constitutes a violation of Title 22 and a child's personal rights. I was stunned, since I have a very clear discipline policy which includes redirection, expressing behavior expectations in age appropriate language (i.e. "we don't hit our friends"), and ultimately when necessary, a 'time-out' of 1 minute per age in years.
I immediately sent an appeal to my analyst’s supervisor, explaining to her that this mother was angry and retaliatory in her filing of the complaint – that she herself used time out with her son many times in front of me and stating that I had never seen anything anywhere that suggests that using time out as a behavior modification is violating of a child’s personal rights. I asked for specific parameters or alternatives to my verbal command, redirect, time-out progression. I let her know that my licensing analyst required my corrective actions for this citation to be submitted the following day (a Saturday) and that one of my requirements was to call the local office of education and obtain information on disciplining difficult children – (which only led them to tell me that they don’t deal with discipline at all and handle only education related business for school aged children.) Ridiculous that my analyst wouldn’t know that when she assigned the task to me.
I waited nearly a month without response to my appeal nor a return phone call to the voicemail I left her, and then last week I received a phone message from the previously terminated parent who is now, two months later, demanding a full refund for 5 months of full time child care or threatening to sue me, based on the substantiation of the complaint.
Most surprising of all is that today I received the response to my appeal and not only did the supervisor deny my appeal, but she sent me a three page scathing letter suggesting that I clearly do not have a good understanding, nor the ability to meet the needs of children under 3 years of age. She said that I should know that at their cognitive level, they cannot understand my behavior expectations when I speak to them and that my discipline policy is impractical because I don’t break it down in writing to address each specific age group of children I watch from 6 weeks to 12 years. She suggested that I ‘reexamine’ the age of children I provide care for and only watch older children if I am unable to remain calm and professional when I am working with infants.
WHAT???????????? Who said I was not calm and professional?
My jaw is still on the floor. Here I am in the midst of applying to expand my license from 8 to 12 children and she is telling me that I’m lucky I haven’t already lost my license … because I gave a child several time-outs in one day before terminating him at pick up.
Maybe I am completely deceiving myself, but I have raised 5 kids of my own, I have worked with many families in my daycare, my grown children nanny and babysit and EVERYONE I know uses this method to diffuse out of control behavior when nothing else works … up to and INCLUDING the parent who filed the complaint against me.
I really don’t know what to do. I feel humiliated. I am SO good to the kids I watch. My home and my entire family are like extended family to my daycare kids and parents. I don’t know what to do about my expansion at this point. I don’t want to spend hundreds of dollars to have this same woman veto my request because she feels I am already and un-fit provider. She gave me nothing to hold on to by her tone in this letter that gives me hope I would be approved.
I am a single mom who provides for a family of 6 with income from this business. I am just devastated. Someone please lend me some perspective. It’s things like this that make good people want to get out of the child-care profession. I am so disheartened.
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