How Would You Handle This?

[MommyD]

In the spring I had 2 ft kids. I had one ft opening and that is my limit. I advertised for the spot for a couple months and then decided I would look for someone pt or even temporary because one of the current ft kids had a sibling on the way. I really like the family, so I wanted to make it work.

I ended up filling the opening with a pt which turned into ft kid. The parents are fully aware that the position is a temporary one and are fine with that. In December original pt kid and sibling will be here ft and the temp. ft kid is expected to leave.

The thing I need help with is the other original ft kiddo. Dcg just turned 2 and the parents are working on counting, and letter recognition, etc. She does not use 2 word sentences, does not parallel play with the other kids, she does not follow simple one-step directions, among other things I see as age appropriate. The parents seem so focused on academics that they don't work on other skills that she needs. The mom dropped off (which is rare and was just spending some extra time with dcg) a couple weeks ago and started crying, saying she is trying to do the right thing for her daughter, and hopes that the dcg knows she is loved. She looked at me and said, "I know she is in good hands when she is here", she just is feeling guilty for not being a stay at home mom.

The family that started in the summer as a temp. could really use the spot and would stay if they could. The Dcg family, I believe, has enough money that they could get a Nanny or even take her to a pre-school program in the area that takes 2 year olds. I am considering running it passed them, to see if they are thinking of other options for Dcg. I don't know how to bring it up though. Would you bring it up? What would you say? Would you have a special meeting, if so, would the child be present? Need some advice please. Ask any clarifying questions needed, I know this info is a bit dis-jointed!

[cheerfuldom]

In the spring I had 2 ft kids. I had one ft opening and that is my limit. I advertised for the spot for a couple months and then decided I would look for someone pt or even temporary because one of the current ft kids had a sibling on the way. I really like the family, so I wanted to make it work.

I ended up filling the opening with a pt which turned into ft kid. The parents are fully aware that the position is a temporary one and are fine with that. In December original pt kid and sibling will be here ft and the temp. ft kid is expected to leave.

The thing I need help with is the other original ft kiddo. Dcg just turned 2 and the parents are working on counting, and letter recognition, etc. She does not use 2 word sentences, does not parallel play with the other kids, she does not follow simple one-step directions, among other things I see as age appropriate. The parents seem so focused on academics that they don't work on other skills that she needs. The mom dropped off (which is rare and was just spending some extra time with dcg) a couple weeks ago and started crying, saying she is trying to do the right thing for her daughter, and hopes that the dcg knows she is loved. She looked at me and said, "I know she is in good hands when she is here", she just is feeling guilty for not being a stay at home mom.

The family that started in the summer as a temp. could really use the spot and would stay if they could. The Dcg family, I believe, has enough money that they could get a Nanny or even take her to a pre-school program in the area that takes 2 year olds. I am considering running it passed them, to see if they are thinking of other options for Dcg. I don't know how to bring it up though. Would you bring it up? What would you say? Would you have a special meeting, if so, would the child be present? Need some advice please. Ask any clarifying questions needed, I know this info is a bit dis-jointed!

No meetings, no discussion of "options".

YOU decide what YOU want and what is best for your program. Then let the parents know.

If you start all this special attention and open the door to this one parent deciding what you should do for their kid....well that is a slippery slope to say the least.

Kids all progress at different rates. Its really none of your business if the parents choose to concentrate on academics versus socialization at home. If the child is having issues at daycare or you have a major concern about delays, then yes, I would have a discussion about that but otherwise, stay out of it. You dont need to take the sole burden of comforting this mom and keeping her daughter "on track"....that is the parents jobs to work those details out.

Stay professional....you are getting too involved here and taking too much on yourself.

[MommyD]

Cheerfuldom,

Thanks for your response. It made me stop and think for a minute if I am taking too much on, I hadn't thought of it that way.

My concern isn't the difference of opinion on academics vs. basic skills, it more of a concern of future needs. I am worried the parents will be making a change early next year. Which would mean that the temp child would be gone for 2 months and then I will need to fill a spot.

I think I will just pose the question to all the parents and say that I do have a temporary contract in place, do you foresee any changes in the next 6 months. Let them know I am just checking before I officially terminate the temporary contract. How does that sound?

Mostly, it doesn't matter to me which child stays/goes. I just don't want to get stuck with an opening a month or two later and the temporary family needing to take time looking for other options if the dcg family is thinking they need something different soon anyway.