Appropriate Recourse For Purposeful Potty "Accidents"

[SunshineMama]

3 year old dcb has been perfectly potty trained for a long time. Today (gotta love mondays) he decided to pee in his pants instead of in the potty. This morning it was potty time and he just stood in the bathroom and went in his pants instead and said he wanted to wear different pants. This afternoon he said the same thing, and also said that he wanted his mom to come and pick him up.

What is appropriate recourse to prevent this from happening again? We sat down together and had a big talk about making choices and going potty in the bathroom.

***He is not sick and there is nothing wrong with him. I have had this child for 2 years and know him extremely well, so I know the difference between accidents and choices. He chose to go in his underwear to get his way with either new pants and/or leaving early to be with mom.

[Blackcat31]

My state does NOT allow me to punish for toileting accidents, whether purposeful or accidental.

I would have cleaned him up and put new pants on him but I would NOT have called his mom.

I would talk to her about it though and let her handle it or talk to her child.

I'd be careful of giving him too much attention for this if you really do feel it was purposeful as any attention might be enough for him to continue soiling his pants.

Did he not like the pants he was wearing? Have you called his mom for pick up before if he had an accident?

I guess I am just wondering what leads you to believe this was apurposeful act. 3 is still young enough that accidents are expected and normal.

[sharlan]

My youngest grandson started pulling that with me last year. I got A LOT of flack from some on here, but I made him clean it up. I gave him papertowels to use and he threw them into the trashcan. I then sprayed the floor with sanitizer and recleaned it.

It took twice and he never did it again.

With my grandson, I knew it was intentional because A) he told me and B) I caught him peeing on the outside of the toilet.

[daycare]

3 year old dcb has been perfectly potty trained for a long time. Today (gotta love mondays) he decided to pee in his pants instead of in the potty. This morning it was potty time and he just stood in the bathroom and went in his pants instead and said he wanted to wear different pants. This afternoon he said the same thing, and also said that he wanted his mom to come and pick him up.

What is appropriate recourse to prevent this from happening again? We sat down together and had a big talk about making choices and going potty in the bathroom.

***He is not sick and there is nothing wrong with him. I have had this child for 2 years and know him extremely well, so I know the difference between accidents and choices. He chose to go in his underwear to get his way with either new pants and/or leaving early to be with mom.

I have that child....every week its something else....
I am sick
I have a hurt leg, I cant walk
I_________in my pants
I have a headache
I I I I I I

Unlike you, I don't know the child very well so when it started I played into some. Then I talked with the DCM and she said hes doing it for attention, he does it at home too.

So now I just say, I am so sorry to hear that, please ____________(whatever it is) and I move on.

The child hardly ever does it as much, but still trys daily.

I would let the mom know, but I would not do anything other than tell the DCK to clean up after themselves. Ignore it and move on. Really that is all that you can do.

Very odd that the child is doing this, did you get a new child in your care or any new changes at home?

Last year I had a girl with me that I had for years and she was very jealous of new kids. When new kids came in she always did something off the wall like pee in pants or hit someone just so that she got my attention....

[daycare]

My youngest grandson started pulling that with me last year. I got A LOT of flack from some on here, but I made him clean it up. I gave him papertowels to use and he threw them into the trashcan. I then sprayed the floor with sanitizer and recleaned it.

It took twice and he never did it again.

I would have done the same as you did.... You need to clean up after yourself whether its in the toilet or on the floor...

[Heidi]

I would look at him, shrug, and say "well, it looks like you're going to need to change those" (pointing at wet pants). Then I'd give him a bag to put his wet stuff in, give him some dry stuff, and walk away . "when you're done, you can come play with us". matter of fact, no judgement...it just is.

Then, I'd have something REALLY fun on reserve for just that moment....but again, I wouldn't rub it in...just up the anti a bit on the "natural consequences".

If there's a puddle on the floor, I would take care of that myself. If he were my OWN child, I'd have him clean it up (with minimal help), but a dc kid, probably not. As for the being picked up part, no...you don't get picked up because you had an accident...

[sharlan]

I would have done the same as you did.... You need to clean up after yourself whether its in the toilet or on the floor...

Accidents, I would never have a child clean up. But with my gds, it was intentional peeing on the wall, the shower door, the toilet, the floor, and anywhere else in the bathroom he could aim at.

[daycare]

Accidents, I would never have a child clean up. But with my gds, it was intentional peeing on the wall, the shower door, the toilet, the floor, and anywhere else in the bathroom he could aim at.

sorry.... What I meant is that if it were MY child...as I could see, it was your GS right? If it were my son and he did it intentionally, I would make him clean it up...

as for a DCK I would make them change themselves, but I would clean up the mess on the floor...

sorry I need to be more clear when I type...

[rhymia1]

I would give this as little attention as possible. Hand the child new pants/undies and let them put their wet clothing in the bag and get dressed. I would ask mom to make sure we have plenty of extra clothing. I would not be calling mom to come get him.

I guess I'm not sure why anyone would give you flack for having the child clean themselves/their mess up? I think it's a natural consequence of their action. They wet themselves on purpose (and you know with some that is the case) and therefore, they clean it up. The same way if they decided to dump toy bins in the play room - you make the mess, you clean it.
One of my own children gets so busy playing she forgets to go to the bathroom. When reminded she will insist she doesn't have to go. Ten minutes later she had an "accident." You better believe she cleans herself/any mess up.

[cheerfuldom]

I agree with those that said he should have at least some part in cleaning up after his messes. Yes some 3 year olds have accidents....but it is not too young for others to purposefully do this. If it continues tomorrow, I would have mom bring him pull ups till he decides to be a big boy again.

[SunshineMama]

I like the idea of natural consequences of having him help with the clean up process, that is what I did with my 1 year old when I potty trained her and it worked really well. Thanks ladies for your opinions!

[Unregistered]

We had this happen a few months ago - and it was basically because DCG was wanting to wear her spare pair of underwear (she wanted Cinderella) and went through two pairs of underwear to get to them. Well, you better bet she did not get to wear those underwear and was put in a pull up. I didn't see it as a punishment, but rather a natural consequence. If you are going to pee in your pants you are not allowed to wear underwear (as underwear are for children who use the toilet).