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Well, she can, BUT that doesn't mean you have to release the child to her. If she does that, I would simply reply that DCD is not comfortable with her picking up and because he is the parent you are now working with, that you refuse to release the child to anyone other than who has instructed you to release to.
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While this is all getting sorted out, lock your doors at all times. The last thing you need is the grandma showing up and it being a huge scene for the poor child, seems like she's going through enough right now.Comment
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my doors automatically lock at all times, CA large LIC law. SO I am not worried about that.
Thanks to all of you that responded. I still have not heard back from licensing, but have decided to just follow your advice from here. I hope that licensing does call me back, I would just like to hear what they have to say and want to double check on this.
I feel really bad for this dad. He is a really super sweet guy and his wife is really starting to create a lot of unnecessary drama (like there ever is a time when it is necessary...
) I just feel bad for the DCD and DCG, as she is the one who will be affected by it the most in the long term.
I just got off the phone with DCD and I reassured him that grandma or any other person would not be allowed to take DCG from my care, unless he tells me in person along with a signed letter otherwise. I told him that if anyone came and tried to pick her up that I would call the police and then call him right away.
He said he felt better about it and would bring DCG tomorrow, but was going to stay local in the area for work because he still thinks something bad is going to happen... Ugh I can not even imagine being in his shoes.Comment
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Update
SO I finally got to talk to licensing today and they gave me an answer to all of my questions.
Basically, since both mom and dad are on the paper work and there is nothing in writing from the courts this means that they have 50-50 custody until a court order states other wise. It does not matter where the parents reside.
SO with that being said, that means that both mom and dad can make request as to who can or can't take the child from the childcare.
Since the mom is on the paper work, she can follow my PHB, which states you must put it in writing that one of your alternate will pick up from care. This means that if the mom wants her mother to pick up DCG from care, and I have the proper paper work from the mom, then I have to release the dcg to g-ma.
the only way that I can get out of having to release the DCG to g-ma is if she tried to pick up without written permission of either parent or if there is a court order stating so.
Looks like this could get messy. Right now things are shaky, but not to the point that it is causing me much stress.
DCG was here today and was as happy as could be. I did tell dad the news, but told him that I can call him if ever there is such a request from the mom and he can deal with it.
Just wanted to update and say thank you to everyone who was kind enough to help me out with their advice.Comment
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Still sounds like the same advice as we gave.
Why not void the contract you have with the family. Have dad re-fill out the paperwork with his info only.
Have him file for IMMEDIATE temporary custody (due to his fear of mom removing child from state) and then problem in solved.
Plus, you said mom has to give written permission for grandma to pick up. How is she going to get written permission to you? Grandma could write a note herself and say it is from mom.
I would NOT want to be in the middle of this at all unless dad does the necessary paperwork to protect you, himself and his son.
Just curious, is there reason why dad has not filed any kind of custody papers with the courts?Comment
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BC.... thats a really really good question... I am not sure why he has not filed. I do belive that he was thinking that everything was working out so well with him and the mom outside of courts that it was not necessary. (a big mistake a lot of people make) I did tell him he should get a jurisdiction order immediately so that the child cannot be removed from the state. He told me that he was going to take Friday off of work to do that and I offered a day of free care to let him do so. (I love being the owner).
Dad has been very good about everything and I know he feel very embarrassed about all of this. I truly do feel for him and his daughter. BTDT......
As for the paperwork, can I legally do that? I can void all of their paper work and remove the mother? As you can tell, I have never been in such a situation like this so I am really learning a lot through all of this. Trust me when I say I wish I didn't have to learn about all of this.....
OH and last night I got a very very nice email from the mother. She apologized for what happened and told me she would never do such a thing to her daughter or EX. She told me that they were in the mist of a huge fight and she said many things that she now regrets. It was a very nice email, but I still don't hold it to any higher grounds.
If I can, I will have dad refill all of the paperwork with only his name on it. BUT the mom is still the mom and I don't know if that will relive her of being able to make decisions for her child???Comment
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find a reason to void the old contract maybe have everyone who has not signed a contract in more than two years sign a new one and an updated "pick up list" (I know that is not what the state calls it) That way you are doing it to ensure you have u todate enformation on all the children.Comment
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I honestly don't know if that would relieve you of any obligations toward mom but simply use the loophole that anytime ANYTHING changes in a child's household (such as a parent/relative leaving or moving in etc) requires new paperwork to be filled out.
That way the only paperwork/contract that would be current, on file with you and enforceable would be the one only dad signs. If mom is in another state and can't a separate contract for her, then so be it...kwim?
I would have dad refill out the info as a single dad since mom is NOT living in the home (which I am assuming he can prove) so there ya go...new contract updates requiring parent signature if anything just buys you some time.
NOT saying it is the way to go but it surely sounds like it could be a viable way around all this mess until dad gets his paperwork taken care of.Comment
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Just saw this stroy....happened near me today:
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OMG crystal my worst nightmare...
BTW I talked to LIC again this morning and they told me that even if the DCD was to fill out the paper work again without putting the mom on it, that does not remove the mothers rights. Only a court order can stop the mother or Gma from their rights ANF further more, the G-ma is on the paper as an authorized pick up, which means that even though my PHB rules state that I will not release any child without written authorization first, that if the gma came to pick up the child I have to give the child to her.....The parents already gave their permission when they filled out the LIC form 700.....
Ughhhhhhhhh Great job at helping me keep the kids safe..........Comment
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