Can or Can’t? Possible Custody Issue...

[daycare]

I have a dcf that I have had for about 2.5 years.

Recently the DCP have split up and the mom moved out of state, leaving the child with the DCD. SO the DCD is local and so is the MIL.

At first the split up was ok, but got ugly really fast since the mom moved.

On Friday, DCD came to me and told me that the DCM told him that she is going to have her mom (MIL) pick up her daughter from daycare today and take her and bring her out to Michigan to the mom.

The dad was so scared that it might happen, that he kept his daughter home today.

I know that I cannot deny any parent the right to pick up their child from me, but what about grandparents? Can I deny the MIL the right to pick up her grandchild from care?

I did tell DCD w/o a court ordered custody agreement, I cannot with hold the child. He said that he now wants to pull the DCG and place her where the DCM and grandma do not know where she will be???????

Does anyone know, if I can with hold the child from the grandparents???? I don't want to get the middle of any of this and they have been very good about keeping me out of it until this past week.

any advice would be nice. Also, I am asking becuase I don't know. I don't need a lecture on how wrong it would be if I did or didn't adhere to DCD request.

thanks

[Blackcat31]

You are only legally obligated to release a child to a parent. Grandparents have no legal rights unless granted by the courts.

They are the same as anyone else in this case. For example if DCM sent a friend to retrieve child you can by law say no.

ONLY DCD and DCM have the right to take child from your care.

If I were you I would tell DCD that info as well as advise him to get a temp custody order inplace giving him sole custody until the courts can do otherwise. "Hiding" the child in a care facility that DCM is not aware of may only prove to be a bad move on dad's part when and if they do end up in court fighting over custody.

[Hunni Bee]

You are only legally obligated to release a child to a parent. Grandparents have no legal rights unless granted by the courts.

They are the same as anyone else in this case. For example if DCM sent a friend to retrieve child you can by law say no.

ONLY DCD and DCM have the right to take child from your care.

If I were you I would tell DCD that info as well as advise him to get a temp custody order inplace giving him sole custody until the courts can do otherwise. "Hiding" the child in a care facility that DCM is not aware of may only prove to be a bad move on dad's part when and if they do end up in court fighting over custody.

I didn't know that. I thought anyone the parent authorized in writing to pick up the child had a legal right to the child...

[Blackcat31]

I didn't know that. I thought anyone the parent authorized in writing to pick up the child had a legal right to the child...

They do normally but not in cases of custody or where the parents are no longer together and fighting over the child.

This is when you revert back to custody laws and since DCD is obviously against the MIL coming to retrieve child then you have to go with the parent only rule.

[daycare]

I didn't know that. I thought anyone the parent authorized in writing to pick up the child had a legal right to the child...

Yes that is what I thought too, this is why I asked... of course the MIL is on the emergency contact form as well as authorized for pick up......

I did tell DCD it was not a good idea to pull the child and hide her. I told him it looked really bad on his part if he did that....

I also did tell him to get a custody agreement, which he is....

Thanks both of you

[Blackcat31]

You have to realize too that the people on the child emergency or permission-to-pick-up file is usually people BOTH parents agree to do the picking up.

This child's situation and living arrangements have changed, therefore I would protect my own butt and ONLY allow the legal guardians (parents) pick up.

[daycare]

You have to realize too that the people on the child emergency or permission-to-pick-up file is usually people BOTH parents agree to do the picking up.

This child's situation and living arrangements have changed, therefore I would protect my own butt and ONLY allow the legal guardians (parents) pick up.

sounds like a plan... I did plan to have it this way,but just wanted to make sure that I was within my own rights of doing so..

thanks cat

[sharlan]

Call licensing ASAP and ask them.

[Willow]

Not sure if he's done so already but....instead of waiting for the slow poke family court system to get him in there and nail down a custody order if the child has lived in the current state for six months or more he can file a temporary emergency custody petition which would bar anyone from taking the child out of state until a judge has had time to review the circumstances and put a permanent order in place.


He could have this sorted by the end of the day if he was genuinely in fear mom would try to somehow get her to Michigan.



I too would not release to anyone but a custodial parent at this point. Grandparents are not custodial parents and even if she pitches a fit and calls the police you are well within your rights. I'd make sure at that point that law enforcement let her know she was no longer welcome on your property and she'll be considered tresspassing if she tries to interfere again.

[daycare]

Call licensing ASAP and ask them.

I did on friday, but never got a call back...go figure

[DCMom]

I did on friday, but never got a call back...go figure

Great. Big help there, huh?

I have a similar situation right now. I was told by my licensing worker that only people who truly have a legal right to pick up/physical custody is the parents. BUT there are many gray areas when there is not a legal document in place. It is in the best interest of the child(ren) to get some sort of document in place for you to follow.

Unfortunately, my legal document is a restraining order and I have no choice but to call the police if it is violated. Sad, sad situation for everyone involved but especially the kids.

[Crystal]

You do NOT have to release the child to the grandparent. I would type up a letter (from dad to you) stating that grandmother is not allowed to pick the child up, effective immediately, and that if she shows up to call him. Have him signh it. I would also have him give you a new list of emergency contacts.

[daycare]

You do NOT have to release the child to the grandparent. I would type up a letter (from dad to you) stating that grandmother is not allowed to pick the child up, effective immediately, and that if she shows up to call him. Have him signh it. I would also have him give you a new list of emergency contacts.

crystal,,,,,

do you know if the DCM who lives out of state can give me written permission via email or mail to release the child to her mother since they are both on the forms??

[sharlan]

Wow, what a mess for you.

I would call licensing again.

[Blackcat31]

crystal,,,,,

do you know if the DCM who lives out of state can give me written permission via email or mail to release the child to her mother since they are both on the forms??

I would venture a no here since how do you REALLY know that it is the mother who was sending the e-mail?

Plus, I think her moving to another state and residing there means she has voided her end of the contract with you since you...kwim?

I also think that unless she had a (temporary or permanent) agreement with the DCD about coming back, I would think moving to another state would qualify as abandonment and DCD shouldn't have trouble getting a temporary custody order at all.