Slightly OT- Food Issues

[Nickel]

I have seen some threads about dck not eating lunch, or healthy meals. But what do you do when your own dd doesn't eat?

My child has always been a picky eater and she is now almost 3. She is also allergic to eggs, lactose intolerant and has a sensitivity to soy. What fun. In any case, when we took her to the doctor these last time she weighs a pound less than she did several months ago. It might not seem like a lot but considering she really should be gaining at least a little weight at each visit, I am concerned.

She eats very little. And lately the things she would eat she is refusing. The only fruit she will eat is apples and bananas. I keep putting other stuff on her plate but she takes a bite, spits it out and refuses to eat anymore. She likes green beans and mashed potato. Otherwise no vegetables. Same thing, Bite, spit, refuse.

She will eat baked beans she barely eats meat. Some chicken nuggets, won't eat hamburgers, meatballs, steak, or anything like that. She used to eat pepperoni, ham, turky, now she barely picks at it. She used to like pizza, now after 2 bites she is done. I usually don't make a second meal unless it is something i know the kids won't eat, like stuffed peppers. But at this point I am even offering her something else. She doesn't want ANYTHING... Today she ACTUALLY ate 2 granola bars and some chips. Despite being offered waffle with peanut butter for breakfast. Gronola bar and fruit for snack, slice pizza and lettuce for lunch, insisted on eating a granola bar for afternoon snack and some of those baby puff stars (don't ask). Then dinner was tacos and cinnamon twists (taco bell because we had activities this evening). Then I offered her some mac n cheese or something else when we got home and she didn't want ANYTHING...

So when should I be concerened? I thought about giving her pedia sure but it is milk based, so I'm afraid she will get sick. (stomach cramps, vomiting) My doctor didn't seem overly concerned but he definitely wants me to make a well baby visit at her 3 year mark in November. But now that I noticed her weight she hasn't grown out of her pants from last winter. They are actually too big in the waist and too short in the leg. So she is getting taller but losing weight!!!

How do I get her to eat anything? I've tried making it a nonissue, but now it is becoming an issue. She doesn't even eat mcdonalds food or spaghetti or any the kid friendly foods, but she isn't eating much of anything!!! What woudl you all do??? Can someone recommend something to get her to at least take a bit and swallow it? Should I just give her baked beans and mashed potatoes every day??? Help Please

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

The only thing you can really do is to keep offering her food. If she eats bananas- great breakfast!
I would make some meals like breakfast predictable what she will eat.
Make a list of what she will eat and use that as a base to add in other things.
My dd wouldn't eat beef only to find out later she can't tolerate anything from that cow! Try non meat protiens. My kids first loved lentils. Keep the foods simple so she can see what is in them.
We did applied kinesiology for allergy/ intollerance testing on both of my kids. Dd no beef or cow products
Ds no additives, preservatives or food colorings (read as chemicals! He holds onto chemicals, you've heard of lead but other chemicals can also collect)
The big huge change for him was taking digestive enzymes! Gained weight, looked better. We also took stuff to remove chemicals.
If she is avoiding certain foods, keep track.. she may not be able to tolerate them. I would feed her as natural and organic as you can. Straight foods.
have you tried almond milk? Will she slurp a smoothie? You can start with banana (freeze it to make it icy) and almond milk. You can add in other things if she tolerates that.

[Nickel]

Thanks for the reply!!!

We tried almond milk and she wouldn't drink it but she does drink Lactaid milk. She used to drink a lot of it but our dr told us to reduce the amount she is drinking. When we did that she started eating more, but now she is back to not eating.

It is hard because one day she will eat something and the next refuse it. Right now she is on a granola bar kick. So she is eating 2 a day. At this point I am happy if she eats anything!

She does like smoothies and slushies, so I can definitely incorporate some of that in there. And I was also thinking maybe if she helped prepare the meal she would want to eat it? She also really liked these pumpkin muffins I made last year around this time, so we will have to do that again.

Thanks again, and I will try to keep you updated!

[jojosmommy]

Coming from a mother and parent educator, here are my thoughts

First, kids with allergies are very good at self regulation. They simply refuse foods which their body can not tolerate. Not saying she is allergic to a lot more foods but many kids simply know their body will not feel well if they eat such and such so they avoid.

Having said that, most parents with kids with food allergies OBSESS over every single thing their kid consumes. This is powerful for the child. They rule the roost when it comes to food. This is probably why one day she will eat something and the next day you are fighting her.

I would suggest first having your dd go shopping with you and letting her select some foods which she is interested in eating. Place these items in a bin on the counter with her picture on it. When she is hungry she can choose from the bin. (same goes for one in the fridge). At first you allow her to put in WHATEVER she wants in the bin. Don't force her to pick applesauce becuase you want that in the diet. The trick is to remove the control. Allow HER to do everything related to food for 1 week. She decides what to eat and when. After one week begin to take back some control. "____ Its breakfast time, what would you like from the bin?" She chooses, she eats. Of course you still make dinner and offer foods but don't push.

The next week add in a question about snack time or dinner etc. As time goes on you add in 1 or 2 items in the bin you want her to eat (prefer ones she is comfortable with). Slowly over time you add more and more. Eventually you fill the bin and you say what goes. But you have to remove the power part of this first.

She will not waste away in one months time while you do this. She needs to learn how to listen to her body, eat and be happy without you worrying about it. You both have to learn how to relinquish the control over the food though. The more you worry, pick, and then allow her to eat anything the more she can control and the less she is willing to try.


Have you tried coconut milk or yogurt? Also, Neocate splash or Neocate jr are supplements for older kids which are soy and dairy free. We have the splash juice boxes and they help to provide more calories/nutrients while you are allowing her to self regulate.

I hate food issues. It ****s for parents and ****s for kids so please dont take any of this in a harsh manner. Just stating what I know from my own kids allergies and what hundreds of parents have shared with me over many parent education sessions. Good luck.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

Coming from a mother and parent educator, here are my thoughts

First, kids with allergies are very good at self regulation. They simply refuse foods which their body can not tolerate. Not saying she is allergic to a lot more foods but many kids simply know their body will not feel well if they eat such and such so they avoid.

Having said that, most parents with kids with food allergies OBSESS over every single thing their kid consumes. This is powerful for the child. They rule the roost when it comes to food. This is probably why one day she will eat something and the next day you are fighting her.

I would suggest first having your dd go shopping with you and letting her select some foods which she is interested in eating. Place these items in a bin on the counter with her picture on it. When she is hungry she can choose from the bin. (same goes for one in the fridge). At first you allow her to put in WHATEVER she wants in the bin. Don't force her to pick applesauce becuase you want that in the diet. The trick is to remove the control. Allow HER to do everything related to food for 1 week. She decides what to eat and when. After one week begin to take back some control. "____ Its breakfast time, what would you like from the bin?" She chooses, she eats. Of course you still make dinner and offer foods but don't push.

The next week add in a question about snack time or dinner etc. As time goes on you add in 1 or 2 items in the bin you want her to eat (prefer ones she is comfortable with). Slowly over time you add more and more. Eventually you fill the bin and you say what goes. But you have to remove the power part of this first.

She will not waste away in one months time while you do this. She needs to learn how to listen to her body, eat and be happy without you worrying about it. You both have to learn how to relinquish the control over the food though. The more you worry, pick, and then allow her to eat anything the more she can control and the less she is willing to try.


Have you tried coconut milk or yogurt? Also, Neocate splash or Neocate jr are supplements for older kids which are soy and dairy free. We have the splash juice boxes and they help to provide more calories/nutrients while you are allowing her to self regulate.

I hate food issues. It ****s for parents and ****s for kids so please dont take any of this in a harsh manner. Just stating what I know from my own kids allergies and what hundreds of parents have shared with me over many parent education sessions. Good luck.

This is great advice but she is only 3... I agree food issues are horrid! My son is pretty good at eliminating what makes him sick now. (He is 15) He will tell me don't make _______ it made me sick last time. Offer her fresh plain fruits and vegies, rice etc. as she figures out these don't make her sick she may start increasing what she is eating. Don't overwhelm her. One new food at a time. You may have to do an elimination diet to figure out what she really can tolerate.

[jojosmommy]

My daugher is 11 months and yes they can tell you what they can and can not have. You have to clue into their cues but so far when my dd refuses a food and we push her to eat it, she always ends up with some kind of reaction. Call it intuition from survival instinct ala caveman days maybe....

Heard of many many parents who agree.

And my ds is 3 and would do very well with the basket approach.

[Nickel]

I appreciate the responses and do like the food basket idea. Honestly I do not obsess over what my daughter eats. We have benadryl on hand and when she goes to a sitter we give them benadryl with dosing instructions. I don't read every label or worry about everything she eats. She doesn't have serious food allergies. She does break out with any contact with eggs, but can eat muffins or other cakes just fine. I think it's really raw eggs, so we eliminated them from our baking and cooking. With dairy she can tolerate some cheeses and ice creams, but others have eggs in them and causes a reaction. Not major, just live and learn.

She has been a picky eater forever. So instead of struggling with her to eat I backed off and prepared meals and she either ate or she didn't. i'd put the food on her plate and she could eat what she chose. Hoping that making food a nonissue would help her to eat. I ask that she try fruits or vegetables with just one bite and then she can eat the remainder of the meal. I do not believe in forcing children to eat. I grew up that way and don't agree with it for numerous reasons.

I am only now starting to get worried because she is actually losing weight. I do not stress about what she eats. I really don't. I do get the children involved with meal planning and there are nights that the kids get to pick. The problem is that lately she is refusing even her "favorites" She is eating practically nothing. Many meals she will eat one or two bites and be done.

Today was a little better. I got her to eat a banana, granola bar, apples, peanut butter sandwhich (a few bites), pudding, milk, cereal bar, pretzels, and some grapes, apple juice, and rye bread. That is a huge improvement compared to a few days ago!!!

I really like the idea of the juice with added nutrients and calories. Is that something they have at Sam's Club? Our ped also recommended multivitamin so we are going to start her on that as well. I really like the idea of a basket for lily's food. Especially since some of my dck have their own basket, so this might help!!!

I might try an elimination diet. We did start eliminating grains awhile back and she seemed to really enjoy some of the foods I made, although others she wouldn't touch! ... I might bring out that cookbook again and see if baking some things together might help. I know I personally do better when I eliminate wheat, starches, and other grains.

How many calories a day should she really be eating? I know young children sometimes eat over the course of a week and what they eat each day is not a good indicator. So how much should they actually be eating over the week? I know I can expect her to eat about half of what her sister eats, but is a few bites really enough for her belly to be full? At what point should I be really concerned?

She also has dark circles around her eyes all the time. Her last doc said she might be asmatic, her new doc says it's allergies. She is not taking an allergy medicine each night. But could the circles actually be from her not eating? I am so confused right now and stressed. I've started to really encourage her to eat and sometimes that works and sometimes that doesn't.

I will definitely start incorporating her favorites into some meals and seeing what I can sneak in with that. I am trying to make sure she eats more often and doens't skip snacks or meals. Maybe getting her to eat a little bit several times a day will add up to eating an actual meal?

Thank you again. I am going to look over the suggestions again and try things to see what works. sigh.. Hopefully I can find something that will get her to start gaining some weight