Could Use Help With A New Family I Enrolled - Term?

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • WImom
    Advanced Daycare.com Member
    • Jun 2010
    • 1639

    Could Use Help With A New Family I Enrolled - Term?

    This is long - but I needed to fill in a backstory to get the advice -

    I have a new family that I enrolled this summer to start Sept. 19th (wed). Mom and dad were seperated and to be divorced the week before boy was starting. I only met with mom and boy since mom was the one working and looking for childcare. She paid registration and 1st weeks payment (my requirement to hold space longer than 2 weeks).

    Forward to Monday(17th). I get an email that dad wants to meet me before DCB can come Wednesday. (DCD doesn't really want DCB in DC but he only has him one day that DCB is scheduled here). I schedule for Monday night and dad emails be 15 minutes before to tell me he can't come and can we reschedule for Tuesday. I normally don't do interviews during daycare hours but I had no time Tuesday night so I told him to come at the end of the day when kids were leaving (30 minutes before I close).

    DCD and DCB come and meet with me, DCB plays with the two kids left here and my daughter (9y who is helping me so I can interview him while the kids play). Tuesday night I get an email that DCD isn't sure if DCB should come Wed. because he wanted to keep him home due to it being his day with him. Another reason because he and DCB may have been exposed to Whooping cough and they have had some cold symptoms the last few days. So I email him and tell him per contract he can keep him on his days but payment still remains the same and that if he felt DCB too ill to attend Wed. then why did he bring him to my house on Tuesday and expose my daughter, other kids/myself. (DCK's all left a few minutes after DCB got here but my DD played with him for about 20 minutes while I talked with DCD). I told him he needed to get them both tested and to keep me updated. It seems like mom didn't know about the exposure and thought DCB just had a small cold.

    (1) If DCB doesn't come the rest of the week should they still pay for next week since he was suppose to start Wed. or would her prepayment count for next week when he is offcially here? I'm going back and forth on this - contract says you pay even if your not here BUT he didn't come one day yet? I already bought food, etc for this week and was expecting him though and feel like I've wasted too much after hours time dealing with this family this week.

    (2) Do I term if he has whooping cough and my DD gets it? I am so angry he brought DCB and himself here knowing this info. I think he was just using it as a way to keep DCB home BUT it backfired on him.
  • lovemykidstoo
    Daycare.com Member
    • Aug 2012
    • 4740

    #2
    I wouldn't charge him anything until he actually starts, but that being said, I wouldn't hold the spot longer than this week if he doesn't have a doctor's note saying that his son has whooping cough. I think I'm with you on your last statement. I don't know if I believe he has whooping cough or if he just wanted the day with him. Seems like you would have recognize if he had whooping cough, so I don't think that is truthful.

    Comment

    • Wigglesandgiggles
      New Daycare.com Member
      • Jun 2012
      • 17

      #3
      I would have them pay. If you flex on policies now, thatis the precedence you are setting withthis family. You may think "just once" but they will likely think that it's norm, they are special, or that you are flexible and I bet they will ask for a discount the next time he is sick too.

      Comment

      • DaisyMamma
        Advanced Daycare.com Member
        • May 2011
        • 2241

        #4
        Originally posted by WImom
        (1) If DCB doesn't come the rest of the week should they still pay for next week since he was suppose to start Wed. or would her prepayment count for next week when he is offcially here? I'm going back and forth on this - contract says you pay even if your not here BUT he didn't come one day yet? I already bought food, etc for this week and was expecting him though and feel like I've wasted too much after hours time dealing with this family this week.
        simple answer. Yes.

        (2) Do I term if he has whooping cough and my DD gets it? I am so angry he brought DCB and himself here knowing this info. I think he was just using it as a way to keep DCB home BUT it backfired on him.
        I'm not sure about this one. I would be really mad. But, it sounds almost like an excuse and I would wonder if he will ever even come to DC at all. If he does it sounds like dad will be hard to deal with.

        Comment

        • countrymom
          Daycare.com Member
          • Aug 2010
          • 4874

          #5
          Originally posted by DaisyMamma
          I'm not sure about this one. I would be really mad. But, it sounds almost like an excuse and I would wonder if he will ever even come to DC at all. If he does it sounds like dad will be hard to deal with.
          thats what i'm thinking too.

          Comment

          • MyAngels
            Member
            • Aug 2010
            • 4217

            #6
            I would charge them the regular rate starting with the date the mom gave you to start. This sounds like the beginnings of a power struggle between the parents, and I would not make it my problem at all.

            Comment

            • Willow
              Advanced Daycare.com Member
              • May 2012
              • 2683

              #7
              Sounds like sabotage if you ask me.

              You say he didn't want dcb in daycare in the first place. Seems like he wanted to tick you off and put mom in a pickle right out the gates to get his way, and it sounds like he may have succeeded.


              If I were you I would not let him win. I would continue on doing care for mom as you contracted to do. Dads behavior is not her fault and she doesn't deserve to be punished for it, nor does dad need to see that he can treat people like that just to get what he wants.

              As for dads one day during the week you could tell him he is no longer welcome to utilize your services for his one day and is going to have to set up alternate care himself should he need it -or- charge despite the absence as you instructed him you would and let him know he's on notice and you'll term HIS access to care, not hers, the next time he pulls something so stupid. (I'd put extreme emphasis on the fact that his behavior will NOT impact moms contract with you.)


              It's really all about what you're most comfortable with though. I have an ex like this and have no problem keeping an idiot in check.

              In fact, I quite enjoy it

              Comment

              • Blackcat31
                • Oct 2010
                • 36124

                #8
                Originally posted by Willow
                Sounds like sabotage if you ask me.

                You say he didn't want dcb in daycare in the first place. Seems like he wanted to tick you off and put mom in a pickle right out the gates to get his way, and it sounds like he may have succeeded.


                If I were you I would not let him win. I would continue on doing care for mom as you contracted to do. Dads behavior is not her fault and she doesn't deserve to be punished for it, nor does dad need to see that he can treat people like that just to get what he wants.

                As for dads one day during the week you could tell him he is no longer welcome to utilize your services for his one day and is going to have to set up alternate care himself should he need it -or- charge despite the absence as you instructed him you would and let him know he's on notice and you'll term HIS access to care, not hers, the next time he pulls something so stupid. (I'd put extreme emphasis on the fact that his behavior will NOT impact moms contract with you.)


                It's really all about what you're most comfortable with though. I have an ex like this and have no problem keeping an idiot in check.

                In fact, I quite enjoy it
                I agree with how Willow would handle this. It isn't mom's fault dad is being a douche.

                She shouldn't be punished for HIS bad behavior. I would contract mom for the days SHE needs and leave dad to his own devices. HE can arrange alternate care for the boy or he can contract separately with you IF ou choose to accept him as a daycare parent.

                I do think he is trying to pull a fast one and is thinking he is the one in control. I would definitely put a stop to that immediately.
                Last edited by Blackcat31; 09-20-2012, 08:10 AM.

                Comment

                • lovemykidstoo
                  Daycare.com Member
                  • Aug 2012
                  • 4740

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Willow


                  As for dads one day during the week you could tell him he is no longer welcome to utilize your services for his one day and is going to have to set up alternate care himself should he need it -or- charge despite the absence as you instructed him you would and let him know he's on notice and you'll term HIS access to care, not hers, the next time he pulls something so stupid. (I'd put extreme emphasis on the fact that his behavior will NOT impact moms contract with you.)



                  I think that is a GREAT idea to tell the dad that his one day that he gets that he needs to figure out his own daycare situation. If he's going to try and play you like that, he needs to be put in his place. The only thing I question is I don't think you can legally restrict the father from the son unless there is a court order. Maybe that's not what you meant when you said acces to care, maybe you just meant acces to the boy coming to the daycare. I feel so bad for the son. Too bad the dad can't get his s@@@ together.

                  Comment

                  • cheerfuldom
                    Advanced Daycare.com Member
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 7413

                    #10
                    I like how Willow put it. Get your rules together and then see what happens. It IS possible that Dad was just being thoughtless and really not the horrible person that acts like a jerk all the time. On the other hand, if he is a jerk, yeah you can refuse to work with him....but make sure you have a copy of the custody arrangement. Dad may still be able to pick up kid on other days or have access to kid or make decisions on his care.

                    Comment

                    • WImom
                      Advanced Daycare.com Member
                      • Jun 2010
                      • 1639

                      #11
                      Yeah, I think he is doing it on purpose too. To clarify - dad has him every other Wed. (child is scheduled Wed., Thurs. Friday) so I assume he has him Monday/Tues. maybe since he drops off all Wednesdays.

                      Mom is the one paying for all of it so I do feel bad having her pay for these two days this week BUT I have my own bills, etc. and was expecting this money. I also don't feel I should have to be included in their problems.

                      I'm hoping he comes tomorrow - haven't heard one way or another yet. Hoping she just pays in full for next week and we can move on. If she asks about Today/Wed. I may say pay 1/2, not sure yet. If he doesn't come at all Friday I'm not sure what I'll do.

                      Comment

                      • lovemykidstoo
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Aug 2012
                        • 4740

                        #12
                        Originally posted by WImom
                        Yeah, I think he is doing it on purpose too. To clarify - dad has him every other Wed. (child is scheduled Wed., Thurs. Friday) so I assume he has him Monday/Tues. maybe since he drops off all Wednesdays.

                        Mom is the one paying for all of it so I do feel bad having her pay for these two days this week BUT I have my own bills, etc. and was expecting this money. I also don't feel I should have to be included in their problems.

                        I'm hoping he comes tomorrow - haven't heard one way or another yet. Hoping she just pays in full for next week and we can move on. If she asks about Today/Wed. I may say pay 1/2, not sure yet. If he doesn't come at all Friday I'm not sure what I'll do.
                        The more I think about this, the more I lean towards charging them as if he would have come the first day. I initially said that I wouldn't charge him because he really hasn't started yet. It really isn't fair to you for them to basically put you in the middle of it. You shouldn't feel bad for the two days this week, that is on the dad. That's between the 2 parents. Maybe you could even tell the mom that. Something like, you know, I want to take care of Johnny, but I really do not want to be in the middle of the disagreements over care between the 2 of you.

                        Comment

                        • Blackcat31
                          • Oct 2010
                          • 36124

                          #13
                          Originally posted by WImom
                          Yeah, I think he is doing it on purpose too. To clarify - dad has him every other Wed. (child is scheduled Wed., Thurs. Friday) so I assume he has him Monday/Tues. maybe since he drops off all Wednesdays.

                          Mom is the one paying for all of it so I do feel bad having her pay for these two days this week BUT I have my own bills, etc. and was expecting this money. I also don't feel I should have to be included in their problems.
                          I'm hoping he comes tomorrow - haven't heard one way or another yet. Hoping she just pays in full for next week and we can move on. If she asks about Today/Wed. I may say pay 1/2, not sure yet. If he doesn't come at all Friday I'm not sure what I'll do.
                          You are right there. It would be no different than a parent wanting to put their kid in preschool or some other activity and then expecting a decreased rate for the absence.

                          This situation is NOT your problem so I agree, I would charge like you would anyone else and if mom wants to take it up with someone, she can address the person she made the baby with.

                          Like Judge Judy says "She picked him."

                          Comment

                          • EntropyControlSpecialist
                            Embracing the chaos.
                            • Mar 2012
                            • 7466

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Blackcat31
                            You are right there. It would be no different than a parent wanting to put their kid in preschool or some other activity and then expecting a decreased rate for the absence.

                            This situation is NOT your problem so I agree, I would charge like you would anyone else and if mom wants to take it up with someone, she can address the person she made the baby with.

                            Like Judge Judy says "She picked him."
                            I agree.

                            Don't let their problems stress you out. Life is stressful enough as it is without adopting other peoples issues.

                            Comment

                            • WImom
                              Advanced Daycare.com Member
                              • Jun 2010
                              • 1639

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Blackcat31
                              You are right there. It would be no different than a parent wanting to put their kid in preschool or some other activity and then expecting a decreased rate for the absence.

                              This situation is NOT your problem so I agree, I would charge like you would anyone else and if mom wants to take it up with someone, she can address the person she made the baby with.

                              Like Judge Judy says "She picked him."
                              LOL!!


                              Thanks everyone! If DCB doesn't end up coming then I'll just email mom and what time she'll be by Friday to drop off next weeks tuition. I'll see what happens then. Hopefully all with go peacefully....
                              Last edited by Blackcat31; 09-20-2012, 03:29 PM.

                              Comment

                              Working...