What Should I Do? Advice

[Wigglesandgiggles]

I could see having a policy like this for illness, but to get upset with the parents about this specific situation seems really odd to me. I can't really explain. It seems like you are going to tell them you are upset that they only sent one child with Mom. I assume dad still has to work, and so would need care for the other. In this situation, its a grey area, and I think you would look foolish by being upset with the parents over this.

Personally, I would just be happy to be free of one of them for a week....

[Country Kids]

OK, here goes my insight on this.

I can see having this policy as it one leaves for an appt., the other will be upset that they don't get to go. Then you have the parents coming back to get the one that was left. To much in and out for me personally.

The sickness part, the one that has to go to daycare is going to be upset that they have to go and *** gets to stay home with mom/dad. Will make a long day for the provider if the other child is upset.

Same thing for the vacation. Why can't the parent take both kids. It just doesn't make sense to me. Why only take one? You had two children, two need to go with the parent. Once again, the child that is left behind will be all out of sorts because they were left back. How fair is that! A week of an upset child. NO WAY!!!


I recently had this happen to me. The sibling went for a couple weeks to see relatives. The sibling that was here was just a handful the entire time! Once the sibling returned, no problems. The reason for the one to stay with me-I charge whether the child is here or not so the parents kept the one here with me. The other one goes to a different childcare.

[daycare]

OK, here goes my insight on this.

I can see having this policy as it one leaves for an appt., the other will be upset that they don't get to go. Then you have the parents coming back to get the one that was left. To much in and out for me personally.

The sickness part, the one that has to go to daycare is going to be upset that they have to go and *** gets to stay home with mom/dad. Will make a long day for the provider if the other child is upset.

Same thing for the vacation. Why can't the parent take both kids. It just doesn't make sense to me. Why only take one? You had two children, two need to go with the parent. Once again, the child that is left behind will be all out of sorts because they were left back. How fair is that! A week of an upset child. NO WAY!!!


I recently had this happen to me. The sibling went for a couple weeks to see relatives. The sibling that was here was just a handful the entire time! Once the sibling returned, no problems. The reason for the one to stay with me-I charge whether the child is here or not so the parents kept the one here with me. The other one goes to a different childcare.

you know, I did have this happen before and it was super sad.

I had a past DCM who would take her once child to the zoo for the day or some where special and not take the other. WHY?? well she said she can't handle both of them at the same time................WTH REALLY??

The other kid would sit at the window all day and scream cry for her sibling and mommy. Yelling I want to go to the zoo or wherever they went...

AND even more weird was the fact that she always took the same kid, not the other one.......As if the one was her favorite and she did NOTHING for the other...
I felt so bad for the one that stayed behind all of the time....

It would be different if it were a one time thing or a special birthday day, ok I get it....BUT to do it all the time was just mean.

BUT as we say, we can't tell parents how to parent..............

[Blackcat31]

I was simply explaining why I wrote this policy.

where am I losing money? by giving the discount. over $650.00 a year. It was my choice to give it and my choice to find a way to make up for it.

In this situation I was asking what to do about the fact that the DCP are completely ignoring my policy. Not about how much I should charge them or not....

Here is an older thread where Cat Herder says she gives a sibling discount and why she has the policy where one child staying home means ALL siblings stay home.

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40546

She also wrote the following in a totally different thread:

I do give a discount. 40% off second child. Pick your jaw off the floor..

Heres the catch... One pickup, one drop-off, per FAMILY, per day. If one is excluded for illness, both must stay out. They must attend or stay out, together. I keep the 48 hours MINIMUM exclusion if sent home midday policy as well. For both.

It is worth the loss of income for me to maintain order and minimize illness exposure to my group AND my family. Yep, I have quirks. (I also promised my neighbors I'd do everything in my power to minimize traffic)

My first employer had this policy after a mass outbreak. It was a long running theory of hers. It was proven correct IMHO. There are a few of us locally that still practice it.

NOW, know it is a very unpopular policy and I don't recommend newer providers try it for at least 5 years of service and word of mouth referrals. Just my opinion, but it is HARD to get parents to understand and requires LOTS of policing. They will ALL try to get out of it MANY times.

Granted when I give them the option of paying full price and attending as they wish, they decline.

Given her situation, she chose to offer a discount for additional children with the stipulation that ALL children stay home when one child is absent.

I cannot speak for her, but it obviously worked in her favor (and possibly the parents as well) but either way, I am sure this is where the initial idea of discounting for a sibling and BOTH staying home originated (atleast on this forum)

[daycare]

Here is an older thread where Cat Herder says she gives a sibling discount and why she has the policy where one child staying home means ALL siblings stay home.

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40546

She also wrote the following in a totally different thread:

I do give a discount. 40% off second child. Pick your jaw off the floor..

Heres the catch... One pickup, one drop-off, per FAMILY, per day. If one is excluded for illness, both must stay out. They must attend or stay out, together. I keep the 48 hours MINIMUM exclusion if sent home midday policy as well. For both.

It is worth the loss of income for me to maintain order and minimize illness exposure to my group AND my family. Yep, I have quirks. (I also promised my neighbors I'd do everything in my power to minimize traffic)

My first employer had this policy after a mass outbreak. It was a long running theory of hers. It was proven correct IMHO. There are a few of us locally that still practice it.

NOW, know it is a very unpopular policy and I don't recommend newer providers try it for at least 5 years of service and word of mouth referrals. Just my opinion, but it is HARD to get parents to understand and requires LOTS of policing. They will ALL try to get out of it MANY times.

Granted when I give them the option of paying full price and attending as they wish, they decline.

Given her situation, she chose to offer a discount for additional children with the stipulation that ALL children stay home when one child is absent.

I cannot speak for her, but it obviously worked in her favor (and possibly the parents as well) but either way, I am sure this is where the initial idea of discounting for a sibling and BOTH staying home originated (atleast on this forum)

actually, it didnt spark from here. BUt I did see her policy and agreed with it........

HOWEVER, mine comes form the business side of things. As most of you, this is what I do for a living, this is my career. I reinvest a ton of money back into my program and anyone who knows me knows this. When I do this, I don't get a discount, so why should the parents? I don't care if XYZ daycare down the street offers it with a different policy than mine. GREAT then go there. I have a lot of diffident policies than most daycares around, like I don't take government asst either. Never have, never will.

I know exactly to the penny what it cost to operate my business to make it successful year after year and when I give discounts like a sibling discount, the money comes from two places. My pocket or the curriculum. I think it is only fair that I be given the chance to make that money back, so that I can keep my program solid.

Because I am capped by licensing on how many kids I can have, it's not like I can just take on one more kid and make up for it that way.

Many of you may not agree with why I do it and that's ok. We can all agree to disagree!!

[Blackcat31]

actually, it didnt spark from here. BUt I did see her policy and agreed with it........

HOWEVER, mine comes form the business side of things. As most of you, this is what I do for a living, this is my career. I reinvest a ton of money back into my program and anyone who knows me knows this. When I do this, I don't get a discount, so why should the parents? I don't care if XYZ daycare down the street offers it with a different policy than mine. GREAT then go there. I have a lot of diffident policies than most daycares around, like I don't take government asst either. Never have, never will.

I know exactly to the penny what it cost to operate my business to make it successful year after year and when I give discounts like a sibling discount, the money comes from two places. My pocket or the curriculum. I think it is only fair that I be given the chance to make that money back, so that I can keep my program solid.

Because I am capped by licensing on how many kids I can have, it's not like I can just take on one more kid and make up for it that way.

Many of you may not agree with why I do it and that's ok. We can all agree to disagree!!

Sorry, I was somehow under the impression that you did this to minimize the exposure to others in care or due to basically the same reasons Cat Herder did it.

Since that isn't the case, and I really don't mean to hi-jack your thread but I am confused now too as to why you have this policy then. You are correct in that we all do what works for us and we can all agree to disagree but I am asking because I am interested in why providers do what they do so that I am always able to see things from more than just my own perspective.

So with that said, if I were a parent interested in enrolling my TWO children and have questions about your absent policy...what will you tell me so that I understand why you have this rule?

[daycare]

Sorry, I was somehow under the impression that you did this to minimize the exposure to others in care or due to basically the same reasons Cat Herder did it.

Since that isn't the case, and I really don't mean to hi-jack your thread but I am confused now too as to why you have this policy then. You are correct in that we all do what works for us and we can all agree to disagree but I am asking because I am interested in why providers do what they do so that I am always able to see things from more than just my own perspective.

So with that said, if I were a parent interested in enrolling my TWO children and have questions about your absent policy...what will you tell me so that I understand why you have this rule?

exactly how I have told you here... Because I want the best program possible and to do that it takes $$. While I would love to give everyone a discount, if I did, it would compromise my program. Of course, I don't mind taking money from my own pocket from time to time to see that the kids have a fun field trip, or what not, but I can't always jeopardize my income for the daycare, because I too have a family.

I could just say NO, I won't do a sibling discount because it does affect the income available for all the overhead.(EX field trips, food, and so on) The discount I give does come out of my pocket most of the time and that is becuase I chose to. So I felt that it was only fair that I am given the chance to make up for it and that was the only way.

[daycare]

exactly how I have told you here... Because I want the best program possible and to do that it takes $$. While I would love to give everyone a discount, if I did, it would compromise my program. Of course, I don't mind taking money from my own pocket from time to time to see that the kids have a fun field trip, or what not, but I can't always jeopardize my income for the daycare, because I too have a family.

I could just say NO, I won't do a sibling discount because it does affect the income available for all the overhead.(EX field trips, food, and so on) The discount I give does come out of my pocket most of the time and that is becuase I chose to. So I felt that it was only fair that I am given the chance to make up for it and that was the only way.

sorry its like saying.......we need $200.00 more to have a music program this year. But if we can't come up with the $200.00 then either one of two things will happen.

1. NO music program
2. It comes out of someones pocket.

[sharlan]

Personally, I disagree with what you are saying/doing, BUT, that is your policy and it's your right to handle it however you want.

I am getting the impression that you want both kids gone for the week, but the right to charge the full amount of their tuition.

I think you are so focused on them not adhering to your contract, that you're not paying attention to the bigger picture. You have one less child to care for (less food, less consumable curriculum, less stress).

I wouldn't make this big of an issue out of it. I had one family that other family members frequently took the middle child for a few days or a week at a time. I didn't care, I got paid regardless.

Since you are so upset, you need to bring it up to the parents and show them the contract and remind them that it's an all or nothing attendance.

[daycare]

Personally, I disagree with what you are saying/doing, BUT, that is your policy and it's your right to handle it however you want.

I am getting the impression that you want both kids gone for the week, but the right to charge the full amount of their tuition.

I think you are so focused on them not adhering to your contract, that you're not paying attention to the bigger picture. You have one less child to care for (less food, less consumable curriculum, less stress).

I wouldn't make this big of an issue out of it. I had one family that other family members frequently took the middle child for a few days or a week at a time. I didn't care, I got paid regardless.

Since you are so upset, you need to bring it up to the parents and show them the contract and remind them that it's an all or nothing attendance.

sorry, this thread took a different turn from my original question.
you are right and I am not upset about the money aspects of it. I am not greedy trust me.


Like I previously stated, that I was more upset by the fact that they basically didnt even ask me about it, they told me. If one of your DCP decided to just ignore one of your policies you would be upset too.

[Blackcat31]

exactly how I have told you here... Because I want the best program possible and to do that it takes $$. While I would love to give everyone a discount, if I did, it would compromise my program. Of course, I don't mind taking money from my own pocket from time to time to see that the kids have a fun field trip, or what not, but I can't always jeopardize my income for the daycare, because I too have a family.

I could just say NO, I won't do a sibling discount because it does affect the income available for all the overhead.(EX field trips, food, and so on) The discount I give does come out of my pocket most of the time and that is becuase I chose to. So I felt that it was only fair that I am given the chance to make up for it and that was the only way.

sorry its like saying.......we need $200.00 more to have a music program this year. But if we can't come up with the $200.00 then either one of two things will happen.

1. NO music program
2. It comes out of someones pocket.

I FULLY understand the whole re-investing back into your program theory but it still doesn't explain why if one kid stays home, the other one has to as well.

That child staying home does not net you more or less income compared to if they both came to daycare.

Please don't think I am giving you a hard time as we all have policies that simply work for us and that is that. I guess I am just asking for more clarification as to how this both sibs stay and go relates to money.

I can see how some providers have the policy that if one sib is sick they all stay home so that it minimizes exposure and spread (which is debatable to some) but I get that line of thinking, even if I don't agree with it.

I don't get how making both children stay home (when netting the same income regardless of income) relates at all to being better for re-investing or paying for your program.

It's Friday and I am not working with a full deck so I do apologize for being difficult

[sharlan]

sorry, this thread took a different turn from my original question.
you are right and I am not upset about the money aspects of it. I am not greedy trust me.


Like I previously stated, that I was more upset by the fact that they basically didnt even ask me about it, they told me. If one of your DCP decided to just ignore one of your policies you would be upset too.

To be perfectly honest, with what I have faced over the past 7 years, there's not a whole lot that upsets me. I have vowed not to get upset over the little things. So far, it's working for me. I don't have all of the policies that others here have. It works for me. You have to do what works for you.

[DaisyMamma]

I didn't read every post but I fully understand the situation.
This is the EXACT reason you have this policy. There is no reason for one kid to attend, he needs to go too, sorry.
It also sounds like they pay the same if they are there or not, as it should be. Its not your problem why one kid isn't going to be there, it's in the policies they signed. Simple as that.

Nicely explain to the parent why you have the policy, mentioning the $650, and that she is asking to break the policy.

[Country Kids]

I think I understand DC!

Your policy states siblings in care together or need to be out of childcare together.

This family TELLS you, not ask that only one child will be here next week. Violation of your policy. Would be like telling you they won't be paying you till child returns as they aren't in care instead of on the day its due.

So, they are still benefitting from the discount but both kids aren't there or gone.

I totally get the policy thing! Maybe its time to make an ammendment and just get rid of it. Everyone pays full price per child no matter if they are there or not.

Now when parents pick up have a copy of your policy and show them where they signed and how they have to take both children with them next week. Remember if you break it for one you need to do it for everyone!

[daycarediva]

The way I see it, is you are getting a week off, paid with one kid. If that is $100, you are 650-100=550 out of pocket for the discount.

I *think* I understand that your ONLY concern is the violation of policy. I would offer her this solution. She can either eliminate the discount, or stick to your policy. If you are willing to do that, I would bet she takes both kids on vacation.