New 3 Yr Old Boy

[tenderhearts]

I started a boy who is almost 4 yrs old. He's been here almost 2 weeks now. It has gone very well, no issues, little things that I would expect from a an almost 4 yr old who came from a totally unstructured daycare.

Today however has been a different story. He hasn't been here the last couple days because he's only here 3 days per week. He's come in and has not been listening to me at all, which I immediately told him he needs to listen to me and then he's been mean to the other kids. He doesn't want anyone playing with him, everytime someone talks he screams no or stop at them. I've told him that if he can't be nice he wont be able to play and he'll need to go in a "quiet time". I'm not sure it he's just feeling more comfortable here so his true self is coming out or if it's just a matter of he's seeing what he can get away with here with me, which I'm very firm and consistant from the start so he'll figure it out quickly at least I hope. His parents, well mom forsure, not sure about dad yet, seem very firm with him at least when they pick up and he starts to act out, she's on top of it.(Thank goodness).

Its just different since all the kids I have with me right now have started with me when they were infants - age 2 so having someone almost 4 will take some getting use to. How long does it take you to get an almost 4 yr old use to YOUR rules ect?

[Lilbutterflie]

Part time care is difficult because it most likely will take a lot longer for him to get used to your rules. I started an almost 4 yo last year at this time- he is 2 days/wk. I was his very first daycare (his mom stays at home and only works 2 nursing shifts a week). It took him a LONG time to get used to things here. Even now, every now and then when he comes back after being gone almost a week it's like we have to start from scratch.

But over the summer I watched 2 siblings, ages almost 4 and 2; for 3 days a week and it was completely different. They were amazingly well-behaved and never even tested me.

If this is the first day of him testing you, and you say the parents seem to discipline pretty well- consider that perhaps he is tired, getting sick, or just having an out-of-sorts day. All children have days like that, even the best of the best!

[Willow]

This is exactly why I don't take part time kids.....

Structure and schedule is soooo important. Every day is different for him, it's tough to predict what's going to come next and kids need that to feel secure. That's got to be so hard and I bet it's why he's grasping at straws to control other things in his environment (like pushing the limits of listening to you and determining if other kids can play with him and in what capacity).


I don't have any suggestions other than to maybe encourage the parents to enroll him full time to add some stability to his daily routine.

[tenderhearts]

I see what you're saying and totally agree. I just know these parents wouldnt enroll him ft as she likes her time with him on her days off. I have had pt in the past and haven't had any issues, and I've had ft kids that have these issues as pt. After me firmly telling him the 3rd time, he is listening now. I 'm hoping for the best. I'm just wondering if I should change my contract with the trial period. For part time 2 weeks is really only like a week with a day more. I don't think he's a bad boy by all means and I haven't even thought of terming him but just for future part timers. I'd like to get away with it eventually but can't right now.

[daycare]

at age 4, 3 days a week is plenty.

I have 2 kids who are younger, do not even speak English or Arabic ( my lingos) come two days a week and they do great.

BUT


it took almost 3 months for one of them and about 2 months for the other one before they really understood things. Both still don't speak hardly any english at all and they don't understand body language either like you would think. BUT

both of these kids come here, they laugh, they play, they learn, they listen and I love them to death.

It takes patience from YOU. Just be firm and give lots of positive praise when they do well. remind them of your rules.

Just this week I watched one of my old DCK who left me two years ago for kindy. His mom is single and she had a night time meeting at her work. He had not been to my house for me to watch him in over a year. ( I don't do SA) He's now 7 and in first grade.

Well he starts running in my house and I tell him one time.

YOu can either listen to my rules or you can grab a pillow and blanket and lay down until your mom comes, what would you like to do????

Of course I got my way........

keep putting your foot down and remind them who makes the rules. But remember to do it in a loving way!!!