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I am sorry if it sound horrible, I know it does.. But are there kids that you just don't like? If yes, how do you deal with them? I have this one child that I fell terribly sorry for him because I just don't like him, I try and try but his ways don't help. He is noisy, wild, messy,puts everything in mouth constantly, he hits and throws toys constantly, does not know what is to be gentle with toys. I try and try to show him how to use toys nicely, I give him warnings about throwing toys. The past 2 days other kids got hurt because of his behavior, did I say he is wild? And strong? the way he hits is using his fist and is really hard that it sounds like someone bumped with the wall.... Arghh! I can't stand him :confused:
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YES!!!!!! :
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Can i ask why you are keeping a child in care that is hurting others?Comment
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I am pretty sure that it isn't that you don't like this kid as much as it is that he is just not the right fit for you and your child care.
I have had many kids with whom I did not really connect very well with. Sometimes, it was due to behaviors and other times it was just different temperaments and personalities clashes.
It happens. The best thing you can do in this situation is to be truthful with yourself and know that it isn't you and it isn't him. It is just you two together that isn't working.
That is perfectly fine.
If at all possible, I would let him go so he can be placed in a care environment that better meets his needs.Comment
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I have a child that I can say I am not crazy about....but I still love this child to pieces would do anything to protect this child and do everything I can to give dck what they need.
I think as adults we will always find someone that we don't work well with, yet we find a way to make it work.Comment
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Yes
dcg, crazy mouthy, rude, disrespectful, lies constantly, mean (with words) to the other kids. It doesn't help that her parents think she hung the moon and everything out of her mouth is gold. Some of the choice phrases from today include:
"I can paint better than you"
"Miss ***** I know more stuff than you do!"
"I can sing better than this singer. This singer is bad." (it was a kids cd)
"I can do karate the best in the world and I don't even need lessons!"
"I am the most beautiful little girl ever, more pretty than other dcg."
"It's not fair I have to follow X, Y, Z rules, because I shouldn't have to!"
She gets the same EXACT treatment as every other kid in my care, it's just harder to smile and bear it while nicely giving her better words to use after 8+ hours of her. ::
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I feel sorry for kids like that.Yes
dcg, crazy mouthy, rude, disrespectful, lies constantly, mean (with words) to the other kids. It doesn't help that her parents think she hung the moon and everything out of her mouth is gold. Some of the choice phrases from today include:
"I can paint better than you"
"Miss ***** I know more stuff than you do!"
"I can sing better than this singer. This singer is bad." (it was a kids cd)
"I can do karate the best in the world and I don't even need lessons!"
"I am the most beautiful little girl ever, more pretty than other dcg."
"It's not fair I have to follow X, Y, Z rules, because I shouldn't have to!"
She gets the same EXACT treatment as every other kid in my care, it's just harder to smile and bear it while nicely giving her better words to use after 8+ hours of her. ::
She is being inadvertantly set up by her parents for a rude awakening when she gets a bit older.
No one wants to hang out with or be friends with someone who constantly has to "one-up" them or be better than them.
Relationships are a give and take and I think her need to constantly say things like that are a cry for reassurance or a show of low self esteem. I would take the opportunity to talk with her and help her get back on track with learning how to be a friend to not only herself but to others.
This little girl seems to be presenting you with a giant "teachable moment" ...
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Really? why? Eventually there will be teachers, bosses and coworkers who don't mesh well with these kids and EVERYONE needs to learn to get along, like each other or not. Of course there are kids who are my "favorites" but they don't get special treatment, more hugs, cookies, etc. kwim? The same with the kids I don't make as much of a connection with. They will never know I felt differently about them. This is my job, my dcg does amazingly well and has thrived in my care. Her parents are happy with her being here, she is happy. She just will never know that the minute she leaves I do a little happy dance inside.I am pretty sure that it isn't that you don't like this kid as much as it is that he is just not the right fit for you and your child care.
I have had many kids with whom I did not really connect very well with. Sometimes, it was due to behaviors and other times it was just different temperaments and personalities clashes.
It happens. The best thing you can do in this situation is to be truthful with yourself and know that it isn't you and it isn't him. It is just you two together that isn't working. That is perfectly fine.
If at all possible, I would let him go so he can be placed in a care environment that better meets his needs.
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I'm not understanding what you mean? Why what?Really? why? Eventually there will be teachers, bosses and coworkers who don't mesh well with these kids and EVERYONE needs to learn to get along, like each other or not. Of course there are kids who are my "favorites" but they don't get special treatment, more hugs, cookies, etc. kwim? The same with the kids I don't make as much of a connection with. They will never know I felt differently about them. This is my job, my dcg does amazingly well and has thrived in my care. Her parents are happy with her being here, she is happy. She just will never know that the minute she leaves I do a little happy dance inside.
I think we are on the same page and just saying it differently....
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I feel sorry for kids like that. She is being inadvertantly set up by her parents for a rude awakening when she gets a bit older.
No one wants to hang out with or be friends with someone who constantly has to "one-up" them or be better than them.
Relationships are a give and take and I think her need to constantly say things like that are a cry for reassurance or a show of low self esteem. I would take the opportunity to talk with her and help her get back on track with learning how to be a friend to not only herself but to others.
This little girl seems to be presenting you with a giant "teachable moment" ...
Oh I totally agree. We have had MANY chats about how even though she is a wonderful artist, and sings beautifully that other people have those same talents as well and even if they don't, we never make them feel badly. By Wednesday, I have her spontaneously saying nice things, and by Friday she is everyone's BFF. When Monday rolls around however.... I really think it boils down to picking it up from Mom. (Who can be catty, and thinks she is amazing) Some kids are just set up to be 'mean girls'
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I have one that is driving me batty but I am having the hardest time getting him replaced. Just no calls coming in. I was putting him in his pack and play for time outs because it just wasn't doing any good to have him sitting for short times. (He is nearly 2 years old). I can't tell if he's just not very smart or he has a disorder. I have been successful with time outs with other's his age despite what others believe. You have to start somewhere. Usually small amounts of times and gradually increase the times little bit little. Others have said this doesn't work for children his age but I don't believe that is the case for every child. They are all different and even if they are not ready you can't just let it slide.
I do think he may have a couple disorders possibly which might be part of the problem but I can't get his parents to have him seriously checked for it or possible underlying medical disorders. He eats anything but food pretty much. He's destroying my toys and home. Doesn't listen for anything...what . so. ever... TERRIBLE manners (Puts his feet on the table during snacks and meals, (I'm sure at most his parents laugh at him and calls him a "silly boy" as she always does when she picks him up and he's acting up and pushing boundaries) stands and climbs on the furniture, throws toys, screams, pulls my toy bins over, doesn't listen. Will look right at you after you tell him not to do something and do it. ... And as of last weekend I am afraid to leave him unattended in his pack and play too long because his mom texted me numerous times this weekend (which she's not supposed to do) telling me about how he is now climbing out of his crib and pack and plays at home. He has yet to do it here surprisingly, I'm not sure why but I'm crossing my fingers. Apparently he totally trashed his bedroom the other day.
Eats rocks, sticks, his diaper, dirt, sand, chews on his arms to the point he has hickeys, his toes, his shoes, lint, scratches at my furniture to get it to open a hole to get to stuffing or scratch up lint to eat (he also does this to the carpet), ruins my toys, blankets & stuffed animals, chews on my banister, kitchen chairs, booster straps, bench (where I was putting him for time outs originally)... I can continue but regularly that's it in a "nutshell"
Oh and he screeches this ear piercing screech all day.
I would like to put a mask on him (like the one in Silence of the Lambs) and stick him in handcuffs all day but at this point there is nothing I can do. His parents think he is "normal" because they talked to the doctor about him eating his diaper and allegedly the doctor told him that it is normal and there is nothing unsafe about it. Therefore I am supposed to drop it even though he's doing all these other things she's not addressed with the doctor...nor willing to. So... I will be replacing him ASAP but just having a difficult time getting calls to come in. I can't afford to lose him right now.Comment
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Oh ok...gottcha
I just think that our early years are sooo important in forming our personal views of ourselves and others and the outside world that having the absolute BEST care possible along with a close bond with your primary caregivers creates a well rounded well adjusted adult later in life.
I think that even though we "think" we aren't treating a kid any differently doesn't necessarily mean we aren't sending hidden signals. Kids are VERY in tune to our body language, our tone and our mannerisms. They can tell if our faces light up when we greet them or if we are simply going through the motions...kwim?
I just meant that if the OP really truly doesn't mesh well with this little guy, then let him go and he can be in a child care when he does fit well.
Everyone deserves to have the right fit. We do this as ajob and a way to make income. We get to pick which kids we take and which we don't take. Parents get to pick which provider they use based on their wants and needs (money, convenience, hours etc) and the kids just have to come whether they always like it or not....kwim?
It just seems as though as adults we understand this stuff. We get it. We know that we HAVE to deal with certain kids, certain parents and situations but kids don't get that. They don't know how to think outside of what it means to them and how it effects them. I just think that as adults, if we have a kid in care we "don't like" much...let them go. It is probably for the best.Comment
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Ahhh I see. Gotcha.
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I totally agree with this! I have kids who I don't really connect with and kids who I cherish, but if you asked my dcparents, they would ALL say that their kid is my favorite! I treat them all the same, act like I am thrilled to see each one of them in the morning, and give them all a big hug when they leave. (I consider myself to be a top notch acctress! LOL)Eventually there will be teachers, bosses and coworkers who don't mesh well with these kids and EVERYONE needs to learn to get along, like each other or not. Of course there are kids who are my "favorites" but they don't get special treatment, more hugs, cookies, etc. kwim? The same with the kids I don't make as much of a connection with. They will never know I felt differently about them. This is my job, my dcg does amazingly well and has thrived in my care. Her parents are happy with her being here, she is happy. She just will never know that the minute she leaves I do a little happy dance insideComment
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