OT - Could Really Use Some Potty Training Help!

[justgettingstarted]

This is off topic because it's about my own DS, but I'm also starting to help PT DCB so advice will be helpful for daycare purposes as well. DS is over 2.5 yo. We've had a potty for a while now so that he could get used to it, we've also been reading a book about PT at bedtime. We bring him with us to the bathroom sometimes so that he can observe. He gets the whole process very well.

We started by having him use the potty before bath time so he wouldn't pee in the bath. Then I had him use it before bedtime on none-bath nights. Everything seemed to be going well but he wouldn't progress beyond this. He has no interest in using it during the day and started throwing fits when I I asked him to try. I was giving him stickers for each try but the novelty quickly wore off.

I started letting him go naked after the DCKs go home and put the potty in the livingroom. He did great! No accidents for a few evenings. We went and bought him underwear this weekend. Back to square one. Lots of accidents, throwing a fit when we suggest he try the potty. But he can't just run around naked all day climbing on the daycare toys and furniture and on other kids, obviously not sanitary. I'm at a loss. This is my first PT experience and I'm getting very discouraged. I just don't know what to do when he refuses to try. I ask him, you don't have any peepee? He says no so I say ok then we'll try again in a little bit, and then he'll pee in his underwear a minute later.

I don't want to think that he's "just not ready" when he's almost 3. I wanted him to start going to a preschool program in a few months but they require that he be completely trained. Am I expecting too much? Is this just normal for boys?

[nanglgrl]

Here is a link that may help a little, it includes a checklist to see if your child is truly ready:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_potty-training-readiness-checklist_4384.bc

Even if your child does meet every one of the items on the checklist you should be aware that it's only a guide. Children decide when they are ready and it has nothing to do with age or intelligence. From what you said it sounds like your little one is not quite ready. It sounds (please forgive me if I'm wrong) that you made him go before the bath and would ask him throughout the day and because of you asking consistently our child was successful. It sounds like he wasn't trained at all and instead you were trained. I can take a 9 month old to the potty every hour and chances are he/she will pee or poop and we could probably go the whole day without accidents if I was reliable in my timing but that in no way means that the 9 month old is trained.

My oldest son (in college now) was off the scales for intelligence his whole life and it was really obvious when he was between 2-4 years old as he knew/did things that most children twice his age didn't know/couldn't do. He was my first so I bought tons of books on potty training and tried every trick from about the age of 18 months. NOTHING WORKED. I finally gave up but kept the potty chair out and a day after his 4th birthday he said he needed to go potty..he did and never had an accident again (not even at night). My third child was the same way and didn't potty train until right after her 4th birthday even though she met every item on the checklist. My second child and my fourth child were potty trained by the age of two but with them I just took them to the potty, showed them what it was and they went from there..no accidents and completely trained on the first try. The funny thing is that my second and fourth are more scatter brained like me and are more right sided thinking than the other two who are left sided thinkers for the most part.
You should keep the chair out and maybe tomorrow, maybe a year from now your child will be ready.

[daycare]

I tell parents this.

we will both try for one week. Full consistent routine. If at any time the child resist, then it's their choice and you follow their lead. OF course you are giving the guidance and showing them the ropes, but if during that week you see no signs of progress and willingness, then STOP. Let it go, forget about it for a good two weeks and then try again. Rinse and repeat.


Since June, I have trained 5 DCKs with potty training. 4 of them are 2-2.5 and are completely PT. It took all of about 1 solid week and done. The 5th one is almost 4 and has been PT at home with his family since age 18-19months old AND is still no where near PT... He's been pushed and told he has to go and still continues to fight it..

so I think its up to you. Do you want to fight your child or do you want to make it easy on everyone and let it be when they are not on the same page as you are..

I vote for making it easy on everyone.

[justgettingstarted]

I don't take him through out the day. I ask, if he said no then he didn't go. When he has no diaper on he wants to go (because he doesn't want to pee on the floor) but if he has a diaper or underwear on he doesn't. I definitely don't want to fight him or make it a negative thing for him, that obviously won't work with a toddler. However, I can't believe that it's good parenting to not have him go to preschool because of this. Four years old! That's ridiculous, he will miss out on way too much early learning not to mention fun. There has to be more to it than just waiting until he asks to go potty one day...

[MN Mom]

I have a dcb who will be 3 in a month. His mom really wants him to be potty trained. She tries with him at home and said it's going OK. The problem is...this boy doesn't talk to adults *at all*. He will talk to kids all day long (although, not very clearly but enough to understand) but he just will not talk to me or my husband. I assume he is talking to his parents at home. Some days he will be dry when it's diaper time, and I put him on the potty, he goes and I give him LOTS of praise. I remind him to let me know when he needs to go potty. For the most part, however, he just doesn't care I guess? I'm at a loss. I know this boy can do it, he knows what a potty is. If you ask HIM around the time he would usually go...he will shake his head yes or no...but never talk. What would any of you ladies do in this situation? Also...how do I gently suggest to mom it's time to get rid of the bottles? He still occasionally comes with one in the AM (filled with strawberry milk) and I know he still gets them at night in bed with him. I suspect this is part of his talking issues...or maybe he is just stubborn LOL! I love him to pieces though :-)

Thanks!

[momma2girls]

They have to be making good progress and understand the concept of it here, before I will begin starting it here at daycare.

[SimpleMom]

imho,


i think people push the potty too much. It can be pretty easy IF the child is ready. , it really can (most times), be as simple as one day to a week or two tops. bummer we can't just let them run naked all day though seriously, my own were completely trained that way, and had few accidents when they could stay that way most times. When we put underwear on them, they were so used to going on the potty it was easy. however, dc would begin and by the wknd we'd start over.

With our oldest, we waited until they were three (two wks prior) and it took all of two weeks ....and one awesome trike (i'm not above a little bribe for potty training and we didn't have much for material things, so the trike was a huge deal). Anyway, it worked great. One of our children was almost 6 I had been trying since the age of 2. they were almost there, but still had accidents one to three times a day and bm accidents until almost 4.

every child is ready at their own pace. haha, we are a culture of clothing and it comes with the territory

Good luck to you though. I really hope you find what works for you guys. It'll happen, not to worry