Naptime

[maryann]

I'm currently caring for a 2 yr old boy in my home. I have been having trouble at naptime. He cries, screams, and gets off his mat the entire 2 hours of naptime. I have had to move him away from the other boys or he would keep them awake. My routine with all the kids I watch is to lower the lights, put on soft music, and rub their backs for a few minutes. I usually stop before they are fully asleep though, so that they learn to go to sleep on their own. Depending on the child it typically takes about a week to learn the routine and then they go down for nap with no problem. I have been working with him for four weeks now and there has been no improvement.

His parents told me the way they get him to sleep at home is to let him play until he passes out on the floor and then pick him up and put him in his crib. They do this for naps and at nightime and have been doing it his whole life. I've talked to them many times about setting up a routine and how to put him down to sleep. They always listen and say they will begin doing it but never do.

After four weeks I would have thought he would have gotten used to my routine, but he hasn't. Should I just keep doing what I'm doing or am I fighting a losing battle. I'm seriously considering telling the family if they don't change their behavior at home I can no longer watch him. I'm at my wit's end. Any advice would be great

[JenNJ]

If he is in a crib at home, why a mat at your home? If he is used to being confined to a crib while sleeping I would continue that at daycare. It may help.

[maryann]

I have a porta-crib...the first time I put him in it, he swung his leg over the side and climbed right out...that's why I use a mat.

[Golden Rule]

I feel strongly that preparing a child for daycare is a parental responsibility. THEY have chosen to put their child into daycare and should have done the work prior to the childs start date. I, personally, would never put a two year old in a crib unless he suffered from severe disability. Nap mats are the norm at this age in daycare (I start them on mats at 12 months).

I am the mother of 3 and when I knew it was time to go back to work I chose a center, received a copy of the class schedule, and paid attention to how the classroom ran. I then followed it at home for the best possible outcome for my child......not the provider. My thought was that if my child was acting a nightmare, she would have a harder time fitting in/making friends and that defeated my entire purpose of placing her in group care. JMHO

That being said, you as a provider, do not have to feel guilty if you have given it your best shot. Obviously, without an immediate change, this parent/child is not a good fit for the majority of children in care. Again, it is a parental responsibility to enforce the same rules methods agreed upon at home, if they are not doing their part....let them go.

Pretty simple to me. Not all issues are child issues.....both children I have let go over the years have been parental issues that could have been solved with teamwork.

[Vesta]

It would be nice if you could help this child develop good sleeping habits.... but it would be much easier for you to do the pat/rock thing and stay with his little butt until he falls asleep. If he opens his eyes, be right there beside him with a book in one hand, other hand on his little hip/lower back pat/rocking, and tell him to close his eyes and go to sleep.
The first time I saw people doing this, I thought it was nuts, but 2 women getting 20 to 30 3-year olds down for nap everyday changed my mind (of course they would be between 2 cots, a hand on each child and just switch to the next pair as soon as they got those two to sleep).
You can work on his sleeping habits or your sanity. My vote goes for your sanity.
You're swimming against the tide with the parents on self soothing.

[Janet]

Naptime problems

In the wise words of Judy...NEXT!

[AmandasFCC]

I have a now 3yo like that. He's been with me for a year and he's STILL a nightmare at naptime. Takes me 20-45 mins to get him to cool his jets and go to sleep.

Is he sensitive to sounds? It could be that music is making him squirrelly (as is the case with mine). I used to put soft classical music on as background noise and that just made him NUTS at naptime, screaming and bouncing and things like that. I stopped the music and it at least stopped the screaming...

Now he still bounces and goes through a whole host of little rituals before he goes to sleep. It's a pain in the ass, I've tried rubbing his back, deep pressure all over his body to get him grounded, all of the autism tricks to be honest, and they all just made him worse. Lately I've been standing back, watching from afar, reminding him quietly to close his eyes when they're open, but generally letting him get his wiggles out for a few minutes (at least he's quiet about it this way), and then he goes to sleep.

I DO NOT leave the room until ALL the kids are asleep. If they need backrubs, I give backrubs, if they need pats, I pat, if they need a hand held, I hold their hand ...

In an ideal world everyone would go to sleep nicely and naptime would be pleasant for everyone involved. This is not a perfect world and sometimes we need to work for that break we deserve, and if it's a choice between keeping everyone up or rubbing a back for 20 minutes, I'm sure you can guess what my choice is.

[Daycare Mommy]

If the parents were helping you, that'd be one thing, but they are just letting you do all the work here. For whatever reason (guilt, different parenting philosophy, laziness?) they are not putting him to bed before he collapses on his own, and in doing so making it much harder on dcb and you by not giving him consistency between daycare and home. I'd let them know this is something that will result in termination if it is not resolved in X amount of time. If they don't get on helping you immediately then I'd give notice.

[momma2girls]

I would tell the parents your situation, if you haven't already, and tell them you would really appreciate it, if they could do the same thing you have to do with him at naptime. If they aren't doing the same thing and are on the same page as you are, it may never work out!!!!

[Janet]

I may mess this up, but here goes...

"The needs of one do not outweigh the needs of many."

Spock-"The Wrath of Khan"

If this quote is wrong, then I apologize but this sums up the message.

If this quote is right, then I am a tremedous nerd who has watched the Star Trek movies (and tv episodes) way too many times and should probably never tell anyone how many times she has been to Comicon!!!

Either way, if one child is ruining nap time for everyone else, including the provider, then it's most likely time to have the child move on.

[gkids09]

What do you do before naptime?
I had a problem with some of the kids being really "antsy" at nap, until I changed my schedule just a bit..Instead of eating lunch, going outside to play and run wild, and then straight to bed, we now eat lunch, outside to play and run wild, and then come in and read a book, lay down on the big rug in front of the tv, and watch a short movie. (Wee Sing Together and Wee Sing Sillyville are their FAVORITES.) We do this with all the lights off, the curtains pulled, very dim in here. Then, when the tv goes off, the soft lullabies come on. The kids know now to walk to their mats, lay down, and go to sleep. I am not saying this will work with your one, but it could be that they are doing something active before nap, and don't have a calming time..maybe? I don't know your schedule, so I am definitely not sure about this!
Just a thought though..
Another thing I've done is lay by a kid and rub their eyes softly..Weird, yes, but they can't open their eyes or my finger will poke them.
Good luck!!

[momma2girls]

What do you do before naptime?
I had a problem with some of the kids being really "antsy" at nap, until I changed my schedule just a bit..Instead of eating lunch, going outside to play and run wild, and then straight to bed, we now eat lunch, outside to play and run wild, and then come in and read a book, lay down on the big rug in front of the tv, and watch a short movie. (Wee Sing Together and Wee Sing Sillyville are their FAVORITES.) We do this with all the lights off, the curtains pulled, very dim in here. Then, when the tv goes off, the soft lullabies come on. The kids know now to walk to their mats, lay down, and go to sleep. I am not saying this will work with your one, but it could be that they are doing something active before nap, and don't have a calming time..maybe? I don't know your schedule, so I am definitely not sure about this!
Just a thought though..
Another thing I've done is lay by a kid and rub their eyes softly..Weird, yes, but they can't open their eyes or my finger will poke them.
Good luck!!

I do similiar things for quiet time. I have them unwind with tv or a movie on for 1/2 hr. til 1:00 then I shut it off and it is naptime/quiet time.

[professionalmom]

"The needs of one do not outweigh the needs of many."

Spock-"The Wrath of Khan"

If this quote is wrong, then I apologize but this sums up the message.

If this quote is right, then I am a tremedous nerd who has watched the Star Trek movies (and tv episodes) way too many times and should probably never tell anyone how many times she has been to Comicon!!!

Either way, if one child is ruining nap time for everyone else, including the provider, then it's most likely time to have the child move on.

My husband says the actual quote is "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one." He has not been to Comicon, but he is one of the biggest sci-fi / computer geeks I know. But he is also former military and works for the federal government so it balances his nerdiness. He has also gotten me into sci-fi. I love the Stargate shows and Battlestar Gallactica. We have the entire series for both. So I guess I'm becoming a sci-fi geek. But hey, I change poopy diapers and have to sing/listen to kids songs all day. I need something deep for my precious ME time, to keep my brain from turning to mush.

[Crystal]

In the wise words of Judy...NEXT!

Do you mean terminate because of nap issues? Man, if everybody were to terminate families over little issues like this, we'd be out of business. I don't think it's that simple....most providers cannot afford to just terminate a child, especially over minor problems....and if a provider is regularly terminating over minor issues word will eventually be out there and parents will AVOID doing business with that provider.

I think you can resolve the nap time issue by being very consistent about routines and rituals.....have a regular routine with time for the children to unwind, make the room conducive to resting, and every time he gets up, gently lay him back down, tell him "it's naptime now, you need to lay down and go to sleep", rub his back for a minute and then walk away. Do it every single time....he will get it sooner or later.

I do the same as what was said above.....lunch, outside time, come in and wash up, change diapers, and watch 30 minutes of television, then off to nap mats. My kids are usually asleep within 10 minutes....all 14 of them.

[nannyde]

Do you mean terminate because of nap issues? Man, if everybody were to terminate families over little issues like this, we'd be out of business. I don't think it's that simple....most providers cannot afford to just terminate a child, especially over minor problems....and if a provider is regularly terminating over minor issues word will eventually be out there and parents will AVOID doing business with that provider.

I think you can resolve the nap time issue by being very consistent about routines and rituals.....have a regular routine with time for the children to unwind, make the room conducive to resting, and every time he gets up, gently lay him back down, tell him "it's naptime now, you need to lay down and go to sleep", rub his back for a minute and then walk away. Do it every single time....he will get it sooner or later.

I do the same as what was said above.....lunch, outside time, come in and wash up, change diapers, and watch 30 minutes of television, then off to nap mats. My kids are usually asleep within 10 minutes....all 14 of them.

Nap is NOT a minor issue. In my house it is the number one issue. Every element of my schedule and routine is geared towards one thing: Everybody takes a nap at the same time. A full nap without any adult intervention to get them to sleep. A nap where I can put them to bed WIDE awake and have them put themselves to sleep and sleep THRU nap.

She's worked with him for four weeks. How long is that supposed to go on? Four weeks of no nap break would make me insane. Even with new babies I don't go that long.

She said "He cries, screams, and gets off his mat the entire 2 hours of naptime." That's MINOR? Four weeks of going day after day with NO break and a battle with this kid for two hours a day? Four weeks of charging this family for "group care" and having this kids behavior result in one to one care for TWO hours a day? Four weeks of him waking up the other kids? Four weeks of conselling the parents and nothing is changing? A TWO year old doing this? Not a five year old a TWO year old?

Come on Crystal. You are a Master Teacher. You know that ANY situation where a child who is in group care is requiring one to one care for two solid hours daily it is not MINOR. That is FUNDAMENTAL GROUP CHILD CARE 101