When To Leave The 'Lovey' At Home?

[newtodaycare22]

Only 1 of my dcg has a special lovey that she brings everyday, which is a stuffed animal. My kids are all ages 3-5 but she was my exception and started at age 2, and she dragged the animal around with her. Now, she's 3 and still plays with it but it's clearly not as important as before. UNTIL, someone else tries to touch it. She goes crazy and starts crying. It's getting old quick.

Now, my kids are allowed to bring toys/animals whenever they'd like, as long as they share it. I generally have no problems with it and they know if its special-leave it home. Should I just tell parents to start leaving lovey at home because its causing a problem? What would you do?

[Blackcat31]

If your DCK's are normally allowed to bring an lovey or stuffed animal as long as it isn't a problem, I would start there.

Explain to this little girl that she can have it but the second she starts freaking about someone else touching it, it has to go into her cubby or bag and remain there until either nap time (if she NEEDS it) or until pick up time.

Start again tomorrow...you can have it until you start freaking out...back into the cubby or bag and rinse and repeat until SHE decides that it isn't worth losing the lovey versus someone else touching or looking at it.

[sharlan]

I would explain to the parents that it is becoming an issue and either needs to stay in the car, or it needs to sit on top of the fridge until naptime. Either way, she cannot have it all day if it is going to cause problems.

[newtodaycare22]

Good point. I'll let her try to handle it. Shes the baby of the group and tries to milk it for everything its worth. I'll tell her the rules and we'll let her decide the next step!

[cheerfuldom]

I put all loveys away until nap time. I think they just cause problems.

[Blackcat31]

Good point. I'll let her try to handle it. Shes the baby of the group and tries to milk it for everything its worth. I'll tell her the rules and we'll let her decide the next step!

That way SHE is the one who has to be responsible for something that is HER issue...kwim? If she ends up having to put it in her cubby or bag, then she can't be mad at you or think you are the meanie. It was put there because of her actions so the responsibilty lies on her to not freak out, share and follow the rules.

I think at 3 years old, if you sit down and explain exactly what is going to happen if she won't share, that she is fully capable and old enough to get it.

If that doesn't work, then I would consider talking with the parents about it but I think part of our job is helping kids learn how to handle frustration and possessiveness and this is one of those great opportunities so I would definitely put it all on her.

[Crazy8]

Does she nap at your house? If so I would allow her to bring lovey and keep it in her bag (or somewhere else out of sight) and only use it for nap time. As a parent I wouldn't even want my childs lovey being shared with other kids - that's just kind of gross to me.

[lovemykidstoo]

That's what I do, they can bring it and that's fine but they have to share. If they dont' share, they put it up. If that still causes a problem I tell the parent to have them leave it in the car.

[momma2girls]

I place all lovies in pack and play for naptime only!!

[daycare]

I put all loveys away until nap time. I think they just cause problems.

ditto this.....and i don't do any outside toys from home...you are lucky that the kids do ok with it.

my kids...gee if one of them brought pocket lint in and no one else had in it would be WW4....

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I recently banned all personal blankets and loveys. The amount of sniffles and sickness we have experienced has DRASTICALLY gone down. happyface
I do not like "loveys" at daycare/school for children.

[jojosmommy]

Here my rule is No toys from home. Blanket at nap only. Becomes a control object otherwise.

[Nellie]

I'd just put it up if it becomes a problem or ask parents to keep it in car. I have a family that both of the kids bring a blanket. The blankets travel back and forth. I never touch the one year olds. It sits in his cubby all day. The family did have a spare for the 3 year old and it stayed here and she only used it at nap. This is where I was at the begining of the summer. Niether kid ever asked for there blanket. When they started in Dec. they wanted to drag it around all day like it was attached to the body. At the begining of the summer the 6 year old came too. She had a blanket. The other kids saw her with her blanket and it went back the old way, or the oldest would pull the little ones blankets out of the cubbies and hand the to little ones. She did that every time I put them up. It was the biggest PITA to keep track of those blankets and find them at pick up time and having them sprawled all over the floor. The parents seperated a week into the summer and the oldest had a very difficult time with it. That was one of the reasons I didn't do anything about it, but I did put a few rules down.
A) The bankets had to stay out of the kitchen.
B) They needed to be put up on the couch when not used.
C) After nap the little ones needed to have there's put up for pickup and the oldest was told she needed to be responsible for hers.
The 3 year old did have a little problem if some one would try to touch hers, but then it was just put up for the day.
Now that schools in session the 1 year old's is back in the cubby all day and I'm working on having the 3 year olds put up besides nap. I know that they will more than likely out grow these blankets, but sometimes I wonder if they will be sleeping with the when they are married. The 6 year old told me that she brought the blanket to school with her last year and it just stayed in her bag.............

[Nellie]

I put all loveys away until nap time. I think they just cause problems.

I feel the same way, but feel like I'm being mean for feeling like this. I have one little one that uses burp cloths. I like those because they are little and don't drap every where like a blanket, but it becomes lost very easily. Parents have 3 to 5 dozen of them. I typically have a few here that were lost at some point and parents pack an extra in the bag. I hate pacifiers because I loose them easily. And I really can't stand anything that needs to travel back and forth. For the most part I see kids that don't need them anymore, but at drop off or pick up the parents are shoving the loveys in there hand like they might die. They see a sad face or a little cry and they are "Oh you must need your __________." I think I get more annoyed at the parents than the kids on this subject.

[nanglgrl]

I let children bring pacifiers, blankets, etc. during their first few weeks as I think it makes their transition easier. They usually start forgetting about it after the first week and I start putting it in their cubby and eventually (usually a couple weeks after they start) parents stop bringing it all together. I do have one little that comes with a blanket...well actually dad comes with a blanket, hands it to me and his son runs off to play. I have no idea why they still bring it because the child doesnt care but i allow it because it is put away all day and easy to find at pick up. There was one time they didn't bring it and grandma picked up and the child was staying overnight with her as the parents were out of town. Grandma called after picking up and was frantic because I didn't give her the blanket. I told her I didn't have it (I hadn't even realized they didn't bring it until that moment) and she was so upset because according to her the child could not do without it at her house. I really wanted to say "yes he can! If he asks just tell him you don't have it and direct him to something else" instead I kept my mouth shut and she drove another hour both ways to get it from the parents house. I do have it in my Policies though that if an item is left here or can not be found quickly upon pick up then it stays here until the next business day. I had to add that one after a 12:30 am call from an upset parent with a child who supposedly would not sleep without his precious pacifier. The child was 3.