Ahhhhh!!!!

[Veggie Mom]

I am so with you. I have only 6, 4 being mine, 7 soon. But here's today, I can only laugh!
6:00 am Wake, look at the clock...try to convince self to go back to sleep
6:40 am ok, get up now!
7:05 dck #1 arrives, we read since everyone else is still asleep
7:10 dck#2 comes. They fight, they battle.
8:00 The dead arise and my 3 kids slither in. 9yrs, 7yrs, 4 yrs.
8:30 Dch leaves, help! I"m alone!
8:45 Fix various menu requests for kids, eat the leftovers
9:00 my 5 month old wakes up, nurse, change, change poopy 1yr old dcb
change 3 yr old dcg who refuses potty
9:30 walk, double stroller. Neighbors think I have way too many kids. Too hot outside to explain.
10:00-11:30 outside in the sprinkler/baby pool. Fights ensue over turns on the slide, the water is cold, she's touching me, etc.
11:45 Porch for lunch. Feed all 6 while stripping bathing suits. Dispose of very evil sandwich crust. Evil crust! Clean baby puke off my leg and out of my shoe.
Eat my own pb&j- my own!
1:00 rechange everyone. 3 youngest down for nap. 1yr old cries for duration of nap, mom is trying to potty train at 1 yr old. She is sure it is time. So baby hates pullups and cries the whole time.
2:00 now I can clean the whole house again!
2:45 collapse on daughter's bed and listen to 7yr old read princess book
3:00 get all up, rechange, battle the potty. Snack, reclean kitchen
4:00 all kids drag the porch toys in b/c of storm. Battle son, no son , the
girls all under 7 do not want to watch star wars. Turn the tv off!
4:05 dad picks up 3 yr old. Mom and dad recently split. She goes nuts crying.
He looks at me like what torture device did you use on her today?
4:45 mom#1 call for the fourth time today to check on potty training progress of 1 yr old. My hair is gray.
5:00 Let's bake cookies. Fight ensues over licking the bowl between my own kids. Yes, you can now watch star wars.

When is national child caregiver day????????

way too funny ..... yet accurate! ::

[boysx5]

yes I have five of my own and starting in two weeks I will have 7 daycare kids and all my five boys its like shoveling snow during a blizzard

[nannyde]

As for the Dugger's and other large families, there is a secret to it. Once you get to the 5th or 6th child, it starts to get a little easier - my personal theory. Here's why: By the time #5 comes, the oldest is probably 6 or 7 years old and can start helping out with chores and keeping an eye on the younger siblings while mom tends to the new baby. Once the 9th or 10th comes along, the oldest is probably a teen and you have a couple preteens to help out. The older siblings become mini moms and dads to the younger ones. That's how it seems to work on the Dugger's shows (16, 17, 18 ... kids and counting - I have no idea where they are at now).

From what I can see your theory is correct EXCEPT it is done by the GIRLS in the family. The older GIRLS have the responsibility of the younger siblings. The older GIRLS become the Mother's worker.

I HATE that. I have seen it over and over with these large families. Did you ever see the oldest Duggar boy bathing the kids, hand feeding the babies, taking them outside and watching them? I haven't seen all of their shows but the ones I have seen do NOT show the boys caring for the younger children. I don't mean "playing" with them but the kind of work WE do everyday caring for them.

I love the concept of families having the older siblings helping with the younger ones and having true responsibility for making the family work. What I don't like to see is the girls of the family doing the HARD HARD HARD work of caring for, supervising, and entertaining younger siblings while the boys take out the garbage, mow the lawn in the summer, and shovel snow in the winter.

I think in years to come one of the Duggar girls is going to bust loose and tell the world how much it ****ED being inside bathing, feeding, dressing, doing laundry, doing dishes etc. while her brother's did "manly" work like taking the garbage out. Every "chore" the girls have is time consuming and never ending. The boys chores are a few minutes every day or an hour once a week or so.

The Duggar show is done pretty slick. They are way more careful about what they show then their predecessors. Look at the "and counting" shows before them and you will see the secret to their success: Keep the girls in their place. The Duggars also had the statistical advantage of having a bunch of older girls born in succession. Perfect crop before the boys come along. What you won't see is when the little boys are preteens and teens... them taking care of the little baby girls they have now. That's when the system doesn't work anymore.

[momofboys]

I am so with you. I have only 6, 4 being mine, 7 soon. But here's today, I can only laugh!
6:00 am Wake, look at the clock...try to convince self to go back to sleep
6:40 am ok, get up now!
7:05 dck #1 arrives, we read since everyone else is still asleep
7:10 dck#2 comes. They fight, they battle.
8:00 The dead arise and my 3 kids slither in. 9yrs, 7yrs, 4 yrs.
8:30 Dch leaves, help! I"m alone!
8:45 Fix various menu requests for kids, eat the leftovers
9:00 my 5 month old wakes up, nurse, change, change poopy 1yr old dcb
change 3 yr old dcg who refuses potty
9:30 walk, double stroller. Neighbors think I have way too many kids. Too hot outside to explain.
10:00-11:30 outside in the sprinkler/baby pool. Fights ensue over turns on the slide, the water is cold, she's touching me, etc.
11:45 Porch for lunch. Feed all 6 while stripping bathing suits. Dispose of very evil sandwich crust. Evil crust! Clean baby puke off my leg and out of my shoe.
Eat my own pb&j- my own!
1:00 rechange everyone. 3 youngest down for nap. 1yr old cries for duration of nap, mom is trying to potty train at 1 yr old. She is sure it is time. So baby hates pullups and cries the whole time.
2:00 now I can clean the whole house again!
2:45 collapse on daughter's bed and listen to 7yr old read princess book
3:00 get all up, rechange, battle the potty. Snack, reclean kitchen
4:00 all kids drag the porch toys in b/c of storm. Battle son, no son , the
girls all under 7 do not want to watch star wars. Turn the tv off!
4:05 dad picks up 3 yr old. Mom and dad recently split. She goes nuts crying.
He looks at me like what torture device did you use on her today?
4:45 mom#1 call for the fourth time today to check on potty training progress of 1 yr old. My hair is gray.
5:00 Let's bake cookies. Fight ensues over licking the bowl between my own kids. Yes, you can now watch star wars.

When is national child caregiver day????????

You cracked me up! Thank you, I needed that! It's nice to know that others go through the same chaos!

[Janet]

I agree with Nan...

Those girls on that show are being put in the position of being the caretaker to the younger kids and that rubs me the wrong way. I understand that part of being in a big family is helping each other and having some responsibilities in the family, but there is a huge difference between being a playmate for younger siblings and being their caretaker! I know this from experience. I resented being put in the position of doing a majority of the caretaking for my little sister and for my oldest sister's kids. It wasn't my responsibility. I feel the same way for the older daughters in the Duggar family. I feel sad for them because they have to put on a happy face because they are on TV. I feel angry because I hate the whole "women's work/men's work" division of labor. The producers of that show are gonna be in a world of hurt when the girls are gone and the boys don't want to do the women's work.

[nannyde]

The producers of that show are gonna be in a world of hurt when the girls are gone and the boys don't want to do the women's work.

That's when the show will end and/or Mrs Duggar has to hire out what she has gotten for free for so long.

I hate it too.

From what I have seen over the years it is the ONLY math that makes the big families work. Putting females in their place.

I wa a Nanny for many years. When deciding on Nanny positions one thing I learned is that the job of caring for the kids was markedly harder if the Mom was at home. If I was going to do that the pay would have to be way higher because the job is SO much harder when the Mom is home.

I think about the girls in these big families and think of how hard it has to be for these preteens and teens to have to care for these younger kids when the Mom is in the house. These are young kids who don't have the life experience to know how to cope with that. They also don't have the advantage of being able to quit or to tell the parents they won't do it. Their only power is the power the Mom gives them over the little kids. Their only authority is what they are given that day and only a reflection of how much work they CAN do to make it possible for the Mom to keep having more babies. The only way out of it is to do such a bad job that it isn't to the benefit of the Mother. That's a ****y position to be in.

Just once I'd like to see an example of a large family where the boys cleaned, cooked, did laundry, and did the HARD work of supervising and caring for the younger siblings. A home where the girls just did the occassional or seasonal work.. the bringing in of the groceries.. and the "help out with this project" work... but the day to day stuff that takes many hours of work each day... the work that never ends... the work that doesn't have a good answer that works each time... the work that we do every day... just done by the boys.

Heck it would be nice to see an example of the boys just being EQUAL to the girls in the house when it came to these responsiblities. Just doing the same thing side by side regardless of gender. Doing that EVERY day not just when you are travelling or outside. I don't mean having a "buddy" but caring for the younger kids AND doing the domestic stuff in the house... just exactly like the sisters every day with every kid, with every meal, with every load of laundry, with every floor that needs to be cleaned.

Can you imagine that?

[booroo]

My oldest son 13, does the care taking of his 2 year old brother, 3 days a week... He unloads the dishwasher, takes the laundry to the laundry room and sorts...and dust..
my girls 6 and 8 pick up the toys at days end, feeds/ waters all animals, cleans the kennels and cages and litter box....they each take turns vaccummming

I cook load dishwasher, do the laundry sweep and mop clean bathroom, pay bills and do all the shopping abd watch the daycare kids..

Dh does the garage and moews the yard and work on the car with the help of my eldest son..

Each child is responsible for their bedroom and making bed.

This systems works, the kids do recieve a button to put in a glass jar at the end of the month, so many buttons earn you different activities and prizes... At the bedtime what you didn't do today, causes you to loss a button as well
as disrepecting each other...

So here in this family it doesn't matter if you are male or female...plus ds is expected to help cook meals, but the girls are too.

[Janet]

Booroo...

I like your style! That sounds fair for everyone there, and that's an awesome way to teach children about accountability (and a bonus is the lesson about not assigning a gender to certain chores & such...) That rocks!

My parents were both born into families with lots of siblings. I have 3 sisters and a half brother. Both of my grandmothers were home makers. My mom was a home maker for the most part. My sisters have stayed at home, too (for them, they just didn't want to work...they weren't exactly excited about being home with their kids, but they hated work more). I stayed home with my daughter for 8 months and then I went back to work. I hope that no one flames me or thinks that I'm anti-SAH, because I want to be clear that I don't feel that way. I don't know if my grandmothers were happy to be home makers, but I'd like to think that they were, but I do know that my mom didn't seem happy to be at home. Her sisters and aunts were primarily responsible for raising the kids, cooking and cleaning, and her brothers and uncles were the ones who brought home the bacon. Hell, even my female cousins on my mother's side of my family tend to be SAHM's. If it makes them happy, then that's cool. If the women in my family stayed home because they felt that it was their "place", then it makes me angry.

But I digress...

[nannyde]

My oldest son 13, does the care taking of his 2 year old brother, 3 days a week... He unloads the dishwasher, takes the laundry to the laundry room and sorts...and dust..
my girls 6 and 8 pick up the toys at days end, feeds/ waters all animals, cleans the kennels and cages and litter box....they each take turns vaccummming

I cook load dishwasher, do the laundry sweep and mop clean bathroom, pay bills and do all the shopping abd watch the daycare kids..

Dh does the garage and moews the yard and work on the car with the help of my eldest son..

Each child is responsible for their bedroom and making bed.

This systems works, the kids do recieve a button to put in a glass jar at the end of the month, so many buttons earn you different activities and prizes... At the bedtime what you didn't do today, causes you to loss a button as well
as disrepecting each other...

So here in this family it doesn't matter if you are male or female...plus ds is expected to help cook meals, but the girls are too.

I heart Booroo

[professionalmom]

I certainly do not agree that chores should be gender related and I have a very logical reason for it. My mom raised me to know how to do everything in and around the house from housework to yard work, to balancing a checkbook and keeping a budget and paying bills. Why? Because, as she said, you never know what life will throw at you and there are no guarantees. If the wife only does the housework and care taking of the children and her husband dies, where does that leave her? She may not know where to find the life insurance policies, the checkbook, know where they stand on the house payments, car payments, or credit cards. She needs to know this information so she can continue to provide for the family (children & herself) and not lose everything else on top of grieving her husband. She should also know how to do some "manly" chores like fixing a clogged drain, where the fuse box is (and how to use it), how to mow the law and maybe minor car repair. If her husband dies, it would be a huge lose in income (if not all the income) and she will NOT be able to afford a plumber or mechanic for every minor thing.

On the flip side, if the family has a complete division of labor and the wife dies, how will the husband/father survive if he doesn't know how to do a load of laundry, cook a healthy meal, run a vacuum, sweep the floors, scrub a toilet, etc? If the children are babies or toddlers and in diapers, he will need to change diapers, feed starter foods, give baths, etc.

So my philosophy is that having a division of labor is fine as long as everyone knows HOW to do everything and HELPS out with everything. But you can also work with your strengths and weaknesses. For instance, I hate mowing and detest it, so DH does it. I think he's sloppy (IMO but I have OCD, so it may just be me) with sweeping and steaming the floors, so I do it. Is it gender defined? Maybe, but it works for us. However, I have mowed a lawn before and could do it with no problem if push came to shove. And he does know how to sweep and steam the floors if he had to.

What would be sad for the Duggar girls would be if they got married, had kids, never learned the "male" chores, then their husband dies. They would be lost. Same thing would happen if one of the boys lost his wife.