What do I do now? (Longish)

[JustMe]

Hi everyone, I am new here and this is my very first post. I'm sorry, it's gonna be a doozy....

So a little background for you: I have 4 kids of my own from 1-15 (and one on the way!), although my stepson is only here every other weekend. Years ago, before I had my own kids, I did childcare for various families and had a great experience. Never had any issues with any of the families, but eventually got a different job and moved on.

So, fast forward years later, I have my own children and am reminiscing about staying home with them, etc, so I decide to open my own home daycare. I have in the meantime gotten a degree in human services and have taken numerous ECE courses so I feel that I am qualified and prepared for this kind of work.

My husband is on board, we spend the better part of a year revamping our home to accommodate our new business, we pour our heart and money and dreams into this. We *finally* got licensed (what a process! ) and officially opened about 2 weeks ago.

We had a neighbor who needed childcare immediately as she wasn't happy with daughter's daycare, and then her daughter's babysitter couldn't handle her because she was too into facebook, etc, etc. Why oh why did I agree to take her? Well I did, and even allowed her to start early (after I was licensed, but a week and a half before I planned to start) because they were in a bind.

So the neighbor seemed like everything was going well, the daughter appeared to enjoy coming here, I made sure she spent her days doing projects, playing outside, etc. She was a super picky eater so we made sure that we had things she would eat. We did absolutely everything we could to provide her with good care. The mom seemed happy and so did the girl, and we were never given any indication that anything was wrong.

So fast forward to last friday, the mom calls and says her daughter won't be coming that day. No biggie. Then Monday she calls and says her parents are going to watch her daughter all week. Well, okay, although I realized at this point I needed to change my absences policy if we hope to run a profitable daycare. Then Wednesday comes.

We had just one daycare baby that day (we have 4 kids total in daycare now, (the girl was #5), and are licensed for 12, but only one comes on Weds). We had a surprise visit from a licensing worker and child protective services saying that there has been a broad complaint regarding the "care and supervision" of the children. :confused:

OMG!!! Not even open officially for two weeks and already have been reported??? I have NO idea why. The children have NEVER been unsupervised for a SECOND, I have racked my brain and I have no idea why this happened. I told my other daycare parents (I am 98% sure it was the neighbor girl's mom who called) and they all think I'm doing a good job & are backing me 100%. So at least there is that

I am so discouraged. I feel like everything I have worked so hard to get is slipping away. Not even 2 weeks after I opened! I feel like a failure. I am so upset and hurt. I wish this woman had told me if she had ever had any problems with the way I have done anything. :confused: I feel like I am unqualified to be in this business now.

So... has anyone else ever had anything like this happen? What do I do now? How do I become excited about running my daycare again? How do I bouce back? Also doesn't help that I am pregnant and emotional anyways, but I have been breaking down and crying at least once a day since this happened.

Any suggestions, advice, etc? Also, should I write the mom a termination letter? I really don't want to watch her daughter any more, not that she will likely be bringing her anyways.

[Willow]

I don't love assumptions but it is pretty obvious it was her huh?

If you're as close to 100% positive as one can be I'd definitely write her termination letter. Especially because it seems she has a problem with crying wolf and the fact that she didn't tell you she wasn't returning leads me to believe she was just playing games anticipating being able to return once all the hub-bub died down. Maybe she has just no clue how serious such accusations can be? Or she just thrives on drama? Either way, the absence without any kind of real notice and subsequent investigation would definitely lead me to term.

Dear (parent)

I am so sorry to let you know I need to terminate our contract for care of (child) effective (date - or immediately). You seemed more than happy with the care I provided and your (child) really seemed to enjoy herself here so we will be so sad to see her go, but holding a spot open without payment just isn't something I can accommodate when we have so many other families interested in utilizing the vacancy. I hope you are able to find a new provider promptly. If I can be of any assistance to you in doing so please let me know!

Sincerely,
(provider)


I would not let on you were ever investigated or are ticked off that you suspect it was her. If she asks you if you were or confronts you on it tell her you have no clue what she's talking about. That none of your families have shared any such concerns with you and the county has complete confidence you're doing a beautiful job.

I don't care if it's lying, if she pulled that reporting garbage for no good reason she doesn't deserve the drama fueled ridiculousness she was hoping to get out of it.

Revamp your current policies to include a bit on no-shows that'll protect you in the future. Not sure if you have anything about giving notice before a family vacates a spot either but it wouldn't be a bad idea.

Please don't get discouraged, as long as everything is unfounded I am sure you will be just fine. Especially since all of your other families are sticking by you, that's the best testimonial of all. Keep that at the forefront of your thoughts.

Best of luck to you!

[Blackcat31]

Welcome to the forum!

Your status has been upgraded so you can post without moderation.

I am sorry you had to go through that but you probably learned the hardest lesson there is in doing child care...parents aren't always who you think they are. I am NOT saying all parents are bad, I am jut saying that you always need to do what YOU need to do to run your business.

It really doesn't sound like you did anything wrong and that particular mom is definitely not a good fit for your program as she has no idea how to openly communicate with her provider as to what her needs are as well as things she is not comfortable with.

I wouldn't give her another thought but I would write her a term letter immediately (Willow wrote a nice one) and simply be done with her. I also agree that you need to revamp your policies and make sure you cover your bases for payment, absences and other things that come up.

If you would like to see my handbook and read my policies and contract, I would be happy to share with you. Just PM (private message) me with your e-mail address and I will send a copy to you.

Hang in there as this stuff happens all the time with disgruntled parents. As long as you and your other clients know you are doing a good job and licensing doesn't have any issues with you, all is good!

Hang around this forum for a while and you will read about all sorts if things that happen.

[countrymom]

sounds like the mom was either jealous because her dd loved coming to you or she's going to open her own daycare and she wants to get rid of the compatition. I would term her, and just explained that she wasn't a good fit for your daycare.

[JustMe]

Thank you all for the encouraging responses. I really like the term letter Willow, it sounds perfect. I definitely need to personalize it and send.

I'm glad that not all daycare families are like this. It's been so frustrating!And even though I know I haven't done anything wrong, it's still a nerve wracking experience.

I will keep looking around through these forums. It seems that there are a lot of experienced daycare owners on here with very good advice so I'm sure I will be sticking around!

Thanks again for the encouragement, it helped me put it all into perspective.

[MizzCheryl]

Just me, I am so sorry that you are going thru this.

When I started Home daycare 14+ years ago I wanted to please everyone and be just as nice as humanly possible. Well that is great except I got run over, taken advantage of and abused.
It would be great if everyone loved and appreciated us as their child care provider but.... sadly many will just treat you bad.

You have to shake it off and move forward. Don't let it break you. Live and learn. I learned to be very picky about who I will work for.
Term them. It is you business and in the end your the boss. You do not have to work for anyone that is not worthy of you.
Good Luck.