Need Help: New P/T 22m/O DCG Adjustment Issues

[SunshineMama]

I need some advice from those of you who have handled part timers. (I usually only take full time so I am out of my element).

I have a 22 month old DCG who comes 2 times a week. She is a very sweet girl but a little shy.

Her mother brught here 2 times to play before officially bringing her on Tuesday. She did fine for most of the day, with only a few 5-10 second cries for mom. Today, she cried at drop off, and has cried 3 separate times for mom for a bit longer.

On Tuesday (her first day), I hugged her and held her for a lot of the time, and gave her lots of attention to help her adjust. Today, I have stepped back into a more normal routine so all of the other children can have attention and she is having a bit of trouble not being attached to me all day.

Did I back off too soon? Technically this is her 4th time to come. I have given her lots of hugs today and reassurance that mom will be back. I know that there will be an adjustment, since she is used to being home with mom and a nanny all day and getting the majority of 1:1 attention. I just don't know the best way to help her adjust. Did I back off too soon? I want to be able to meet her needs and help her transition gently, but it is difficult to give her so much attention when 5 others also want it, and my own 21 month old dd is getting upset by it as well.

Any advice on this transition would help lots. Thanks!

[cheerfuldom]

part timers are hard.....but at almost 2, I think she is old enough to know that the rules are different at your house. Give her too much attention and she is not adjusting and the other kids are getting jealous. I would gently start steering her towards the "go play" method. Quick hug or reassurance and then off to play.....prolonged holding and rocking and such is just not going to happen with 6 other kids in care. She'll get used to it. Unless she is full out screaming and hysterical, I wouldnt worry about it.

[MarinaVanessa]

I don't think you backed off too soon. Kids are resilient and she'll either adjust after a bit or she'll need to go back to 1:1 care. I find that sometimes PT kids need extra time to adjust because spend so little time at daycare. Give it a full month before you start to worry. In the meantime you can offer the child a nice cozy spot to relax in with a cozy blanket and maybe a stuffed toy. Any time that a child cries for mommy I just say in a soothing voice "You miss your mommy and your sad. She'll be back in a little bit" and just lay the child on the couch with a blanket and lovie. It usually helps just to have a place to be on their own to go through their emotions. Unless a child is screaming bloody murder it's all pretty normal.

[SunshineMama]

She's definitely not screaming bloody murder thankfully. Just frequent periods of feeling a bit sad and missing her mom.

Another question: How much do I mention to mom about how she is doing? I don't want mom to freak out and think she is miserable all the time (she is fine when playing- just gets randomly upset). Do I even mention it? What is mom asks how she is doing?

[MarinaVanessa]

I base it on the previous day that the child was in care and say something vague like "She did better than yesterday!" or something like that. I do mention sometimes if they got sad but it's a short "At one point she did get sad but the rest of the day went great" type of thing. You don't want to worry a mom over nothing.

[cheerfuldom]

I wouldnt mention it unless mom asks. Kids ask for their parents or want to go home no matter how long they have been in childcare....its not something to be alarmed at. I wouldnt mention anything unless the parents ask or it becomes a problem. If they asked specifically about it, like the PP said, keep it vague and upbeat "Riley does ask for you sometimes so I know she misses you but she also has time where she is playing with her new friends and enjoying daycare. I think she is doing just fine for now"