Well, I Deserved That I Guess.....

[My3cents]

I did call the mom and apologize for my attitude. But, she (rightfully) felt like I would not be a good fit since I clearly thought that about them. I would NOT be mean to them, but if someone said that about my child, I wouldn't want them to be with my kids either. Even though It's not what I am really like.

The mom is a little heavy, but not obese, so I don't know why she feels like they need full access to food. I think it's just one of those "new" ways to parent.

It could be anything. Might stem from her own childhood. Could be that she heard this from her health care provider- maybe took it the wrong way. Anything is possible. Her kids could have been preemies when they were born.

Kudo's to you for apologizing. Did you use this time to explain to her what your about and what you were trying to get across? How your program works and why you shouldn't feed children like that.

Her mind was probably made up. You did the right thing and as everyone else has said, yes it came out wrong, but you got this women thinking and if she is bad mouthing you, you have opened a door that no one else prob dared to open. We have all been there and said things we wish we could take back.

I wonder what her reasoning for letting her kids eat like that was? I have my guesses but would be curious to know why.

[SilverSabre25]

I also wonder what her reasoning is. It's not an entirely unsound principle, to let children govern how hungry they are and how much/often they need to eat. However, there is one major caveat--if she's letting them graze on cookies, chips, and Spaghetti-Os, she has a problem and that's why THEY have the problem. Letting kids graze on string cheese, carrots, and whole grain crackers is an entirely different kettle of fish. I bet activity level figures in too...if they're doing that grazing because they spend the day sedentary in front of the TV then they are eating out of boredom, not hunger (and possible nutrition deprivation as well, or dehydration if they never drink anything but soda and juice and chocolate milk). If they're up and moving and active and busy all day, then the chance is much better that they are eating out of true hunger.

Grazing is a perfectly valid lifestyle choice and parenting choice, though not compatible with daycare, and entirely dependent on the parent being willing to set limits on the available foods as well as setting good examples themselves ("YUM! Peas! Oh I love peas!" <--but not fake, like that reads, ) and making sure the children aren't sedentary little lumps in front of the television. IN other words, it's a choice that, like all others, requires a parent to actually parent in order to be successful--and yes, like all parenting, it involves occasionally (or frequently, depending) on making your child angry. The funny thing is that if your kid gets mad at you sometimes, you're doing it right.

[Kaddidle Care]

But peas ARE good! Have you ever tried the frozen baby peas not cooked but just defrosted in a salad or pasta salad? Yummy!!!

I think those that have the overweight children just don't see it. They still have the impression that they are babies and chubby babies are cute.

Remember Willy Wonka's Augustus Gloop? His parents thought he was just perfect!

Aunt Petunia thought her Dudders was perfect too.

There are people out there that think that way.

[SilverSabre25]

But peas ARE good! Have you ever tried the frozen baby peas not cooked but just defrosted in a salad or pasta salad? Yummy!!!

I think those that have the overweight children just don't see it. They still have the impression that they are babies and chubby babies are cute.

Remember Willy Wonka's Augustus Gloop? His parents thought he was just perfect!

Aunt Petunia thought her Dudders was perfect too.

There are people out there that think that way.

OH, I know peas are good! I eat 'em all the time because I love them. We eat them frozen as snacks, too. And frozen corn. The kids love it.

What I meant was that parents need to eat the good foods and talk about how yummy and tasty they are. Too often (in stores or restaurants or wherever) I hear parents saying, "God I hate vegetables, gross. Johnny, finish your broccoli!" Yeah like THAT is encouraging him to like it! I got an entire table of picky eaters to love avocado one day just by sitting and eating it with them and talking about how super delicious it is.

[NiNi.R.]

My 9 mo weighs 28 lbs. She was breast fed solely until 5 mos, then both formula and breast. We didn't start foods until 8 mos. She is starting to wear 24 mos clothes. She's also 31" tall.

Oh My! My four year old daughter is 33" tall and 31lbs. She is teeny tiny for her age though. Even though she eats like a horse. She definitely got that from her dad..not from me!

[SunshineMama]

Oh my! I suppose I can understand a Montessori approach and having maybe some veggies out for the kids to graze on... But I really cannot think of another acceptable reason why someone would do that to their child. Clearly they are not regulating food themselves and need adult supervision.

I think mom needed to hear it, and sometimes we can say things in a not so nice way but the point gets across. Yes, you could have been more tactful, but maybe you planted a seed in the moms mind that will start a healthier lifestyle for the kids and save their lives. In my opinion, non-medical obese children really is a form of child abuse. (Not talking overweight- I am talking obese). How sad

I wonder if they will find a group provider who is willing to go along with that. Good luck. No way in heck I would ever leave food around- talk about a mess!