Well, I Deserved That I Guess.....

[Meyou]

I'm sorry, but not just allowing but encouraging your children to form unhealthy eating habits to the tune of it causing them major weight problems? That's abuse. Period. No matter which way you slice it that's doing bodily harm and it's unacceptable.

I would have said the same thing and not felt bad about it at all. Maybe a little thrown that mom was visibly upset by the truth, but not guilty for having come out with it. As long as it wasn't directed at kiddo and kiddo's feelings were hurt I don't think you were out of line.


It's one thing if she recognized there was a problem and was looking for guidance and help, but to so much as demand you continue to enable them in that way? That's just sick.




Think of it this way, if they were very visibly underweight and she was demanding you diet them wouldn't it be natural to have a similarly strong reaction?

I totally agree. I have a very hard time watching anyone overfeed a child (or feeding them horrible "foods")without saying something.

[Countrygal]

I think we've all been in the position where we've said something we immediately wished we could take back! It happens.

I would not apologize for sticking to my rules, or even be apologetic about them. But in your situation, I would apologize for what I said and how I said it. And I HAVE had to give apologies for speaking unthoughtfully in other situations....

I do not think the family was a good fit if they insisted on overfeeding the children. So somehow I'd just say "I was calling because I felt terrible about what I had said, and that while I agreed it probably was not a good fit for their family, I shouldn't have said what I did and I wanted to apologize." Something like that.

I have lots of experience....

[youretooloud]

I do not think the family was a good fit if they insisted on overfeeding the children. So somehow I'd just say "I was calling because I felt terrible about what I had said, and that while I agreed it probably was not a good fit for their family, I shouldn't have said what I did and I wanted to apologize." Something like that.

I have lots of experience....

That's good... I'll say that. Thanks.

[daycare]

good for you for not participating to help "KILL" these two kids. Yes that word is harsh, but that is what this mother is doing. I could type a laundry list of diseases that these two children are going to face, if not already, if this mom keeps doing this. I think that it's just as horrible as starving your child. Both will end up with serious health issues either way....So sad for these kids. Honestly, I think that our government needs to add this as child endangerment....but I know they never will....

I know you feel bad about it, but maybe she needed to hear the truth.

[saved4always]

We all let things fly out of our mouths that may not be said in the most tactful way. But, this mom did need to hear that. She obviously found nothing wrong with letting her kids become obese. She is starting them early on an unhealthy way of life. No way would I have agreed to let her kids graze all day like that either. Don't beat yourself up about it. She really did start the conversation on that bent when she said "as you can see".

[Crystal]

I wouldn't worry about it. The Mom basically made it clear that it won't work for her because you refuse to feed the children continuously throughout the day, so you likely won't even hear from her again. I'd let it go.

And, don't beat yourself up about it. We all "slip" from time to time....your human! And, as others have said, Mom REALLY needed a wake up call. If anything, I'd send her some literature on childhood obesity

[BumbleBee]

We've all said things that we wish we could take back, or say differently. If it's any consolation, I once blurted out "You can't control the 2 you have!" To a mom when she proudly brought in her daughter & son in Big Brother/Sister t-shirts. I felt so bad afterwards. There have been other times.

I'm wondering what mom is going to do when the kids go to school. And good luck to her finding a reputable child care provider willing to let her kids graze all day long.

[countrymom]

i agree with what the others have said, don't worry about it. I wonder if you didn't feed them all day long, would the mom weigh them to find out if they are loosing weight. Also was the mom obese, I'm just trying to figure out why she would want fat unhealthy kids.

[familyschoolcare]

i agree with what the others have said, don't worry about it. I wonder if you didn't feed them all day long, would the mom weigh them to find out if they are loosing weight. Also was the mom obese, I'm just trying to figure out why she would want fat unhealthy kids.

My sister feeds her childern like this. However, her children are very active and not over wieght. most liekly it is not that the mom whants over weight

children just that she feels it is not right to deney people food that people should eat as much as they whant when ever they whant that not feeding a

child when they say they are hungry is mean. Atleast that is how my sister feels about the matter. However, her children do not complain when they vistit.

[Kaddidle Care]

If it bothers you that much then apologise and move on.

I have to share something with you - will PM you. Really can't post it here.

[Sprouts]

::Sorry this sounds like some thing I would have said too, but might not feel as bad...You said the right thing, mom is basically killing her kids in the long run, sounds horrible but that's what obesity is especially at such a young age when parents have the ability to control what children put into their bodies...so sad

[My3cents]

i agree with what the others have said, don't worry about it. I wonder if you didn't feed them all day long, would the mom weigh them to find out if they are loosing weight. Also was the mom obese, I'm just trying to figure out why she would want fat unhealthy kids.

She doesn't want fat unhealthy kids. She wants controlled kids. She uses food to control them.

or she does want them unhealthy and will get more money from state funding to deal with the issues over weight is going to create.


If you want the kids, I would call her and explain you have a schedule and lets give it a try, maybe working together you could both get them in a better place. Make sure you want to take this on first.

[Countrygal]

That's good... I'll say that. Thanks.

You are very welcome! Hope it works out!

[youretooloud]

I did call the mom and apologize for my attitude. But, she (rightfully) felt like I would not be a good fit since I clearly thought that about them. I would NOT be mean to them, but if someone said that about my child, I wouldn't want them to be with my kids either. Even though It's not what I am really like.

The mom is a little heavy, but not obese, so I don't know why she feels like they need full access to food. I think it's just one of those "new" ways to parent.

[Country Kids]

Saw this today and instantly thought of this thread!

There is one category of budgeting that can make a huge difference in your spending, and that (no surprise here) is food.

Of course, food is not simply an expenditure. Food physically fuels us and is also one of life’s greatest pleasures. From preparation to consumption to clean up, food defines our days and nourishes our souls.

But that doesn’t mean we should just eat whatever we want whenever we want. Not only would that method clog our arteries, but it would also drain our bank accounts. But does a commitment to cheap eating relegate us to nothing but bland lentils and oatmeal? (Not to malign lentils, as one of my favorite dishes is red lentil soup!)