This Is An Off Shoot Of Another Thread And ? For You All

[Unregistered]

husbands and our business.

Example of hub not understanding our business and what we do........

Over the year I have trainings through many sources that I can do.

One avenue cost lets say 30$ for membership for the year...... I can get probably 20 hours of training towards what I need for my requirements.

the other avenue cost $30 for lets say maybe 2-3 hours of training needed.

1st avenue.....not one of the two hour classes interest me. It is the same old stuff or doesn't apply to me

2nd avenue I can pick and choose but cost more, but I will get more out of the learning possibly. you never know.

Trying to explain to hubby and he was just not getting what I was trying to tell him. I am not saying that I am not going to do avenue one, but I am just disappointed that out of ten classes over the year nothing appeals to me at all. He will tell me to do what I want but I guess I wanted to hear I am right........sounds silly. He didn't understand, it was a no brainer for him, put up with listening to boring 2-3 hour classes over the year and just get the hours I need. He knows I will take other classes too. My point to this is he just doesn't get it. He doesn't do this. I do and he just doesn't see where I am coming from.

Another example...... small hill the kids go up and down out back that drives me nuts. They are wearing off the grass and it will be mud, plus it connects to the garage and I am afraid stinging bugs could be nesting up in that area and wouldn't be seen. It is grassy. He says just let them have at it. I am the one that will be taking care of the little falls,collisions, and mud once it is wet and worn. It is just a little something that drives me nuts, but he doesn't get it. I will end up fixing this issue- simple with a gate or something, but it is just the fact that he is not in it. The kids do this because they know I don't want them to do it. They can roam everywhere else but this little space that drives me nuts.

What things do your hubbies do that drive you nuts or spell out that they just don't get what your doing??? I am not upset with my husband he just doesn't understand where I am coming from sometimes and why I do the things that I do. For the record, I have a great husband that supports the daycare and me- this is not what I am trying to say that I don't have that, only that he does not get it sometimes. Make sense?

[Annalee]

husbands and our business.

Example of hub not understanding our business and what we do........

Over the year I have trainings through many sources that I can do.

One avenue cost lets say 30$ for membership for the year...... I can get probably 20 hours of training towards what I need for my requirements.

the other avenue cost $30 for lets say maybe 2-3 hours of training needed.

1st avenue.....not one of the two hour classes interest me. It is the same old stuff or doesn't apply to me

2nd avenue I can pick and choose but cost more, but I will get more out of the learning possibly. you never know.

Trying to explain to hubby and he was just not getting what I was trying to tell him. I am not saying that I am not going to do avenue one, but I am just disappointed that out of ten classes over the year nothing appeals to me at all. He will tell me to do what I want but I guess I wanted to hear I am right........sounds silly. He didn't understand, it was a no brainer for him, put up with listening to boring 2-3 hour classes over the year and just get the hours I need. He knows I will take other classes too. My point to this is he just doesn't get it. He doesn't do this. I do and he just doesn't see where I am coming from.

Another example...... small hill the kids go up and down out back that drives me nuts. They are wearing off the grass and it will be mud, plus it connects to the garage and I am afraid stinging bugs could be nesting up in that area and wouldn't be seen. It is grassy. He says just let them have at it. I am the one that will be taking care of the little falls,collisions, and mud once it is wet and worn. It is just a little something that drives me nuts, but he doesn't get it. I will end up fixing this issue- simple with a gate or something, but it is just the fact that he is not in it. The kids do this because they know I don't want them to do it. They can roam everywhere else but this little space that drives me nuts.

What things do your hubbies do that drive you nuts or spell out that they just don't get what your doing??? I am not upset with my husband he just doesn't understand where I am coming from sometimes and why I do the things that I do. For the record, I have a great husband that supports the daycare and me- this is not what I am trying to say that I don't have that, only that he does not get it sometimes. Make sense?

Business is not one of my husband's strongpoints. I run my business and seek other options for support and guidance (my mom and brother are awesome, along with mentors through family child care organizations). I would love for him to be supportive of my endeavors, but just not going to happen in this lifetime. Many valuable day care trainings/workshops have offered assistance that can carry over to how I express myself to my husband such as....expressing my desire for professional growth, letting him know I expect him to take care of our children when I am away at these events (which he ususally sends them to my mom), etc. He doesn't understand my need for spending a Saturday rearranging my room, having an interview after hours, or answering a call/text/email after hours. However, after twenty years, he knows I am continuing to do this, but he is still not REAL HAPPY about it.....just a little quieter about expressing his feelings.

[itlw8]

oh yeah but he has gotten used to not understanding what I am doing LOL

I had a wet spot that the grass always died and they kids got muddy.

Well tell them not to walk through it.. yah right so after years I dug down 8 inches he laughed then I pile the dirt in 2 piles with a space betwen

next I made him go get me 3 loads of river rock...to fill the hole. Yeah it worked a rain garden and no more mud.

no matter how I explained it every man looked at me like I was crazy

for the record thow 2 pile of dirt are now berms with daylilies growing and I made the guys build me a bridge. It is lovely, the kids have a blast and no mud.

still need a sitting rock... he stopped laughing about that one and said go find it.

[Willow]

Get blunter.

Saturday - You - Get rid of hill - THANKS!



The trainings who cares if he understands or agrees. Sounds like he doesn't care what you do in regards to them so choose which ever suits you best!

[Blackcat31]

My DH is a fantastic addition to my (our) business!!

He offers me a perspective that I don't often see. He also grew up with his mom having a child care and has lots of opinions/insight from the DCK's behalf.

As child care providers, women, mothers and humans, we wear a multitude of hats and sometimes it is hard to veer from what has always worked or from the way "we" want things to be.

Honestly, I think that unless you are (or have been) a child care provider you often don't "get it" and it has nothing to do with just hubbies.

[MarinaVanessa]

One of the things that my DH doesn't get that peeves me is that I charge a flat weekly fee regardless of whether the child attends or not but I require that I be given a schedule of drop-off and pick-up times that my clients must stick to or otherwise notify me of changes or absences. I do this so that I can fill this temporary opening with a drop-in child and so that I make sure that I'm home during these times. My DH of course doesn't agree with this and thinks that everyone should be able to come and go as they see fit since they are paying for the time (his sister was having an issue with not telling me which days our nephew was coming, what time his father was dropping off or picking up etc).

My simple fix was to agree to let it be and let them to their thing and I continue with my day as I wanted. Wouldn't you know that for the next week I either wasn't here during drop-off or pickup because I was taking/picking up kids from school or on a walk (murphy's law I swear, I wasn't doing it on purpose). Well now he AND his sister get why I ask for pickup and drop off times .

[daycarediva]

My hubby is pretty awesome! He does the dishes when he comes home for lunch, he takes our kids when I have daycare things to do. My biggest issue I guess would be that when I just need to vent about my business, his solution is "just term that kid/family" if I just termed every kid/family that irked me, I wouldn't have a daycare! ::

[Unregistered]

oh yeah but he has gotten used to not understanding what I am doing LOL

I had a wet spot that the grass always died and they kids got muddy.

Well tell them not to walk through it.. yah right so after years I dug down 8 inches he laughed then I pile the dirt in 2 piles with a space betwen

next I made him go get me 3 loads of river rock...to fill the hole. Yeah it worked a rain garden and no more mud.

no matter how I explained it every man looked at me like I was crazy

for the record thow 2 pile of dirt are now berms with daylilies growing and I made the guys build me a bridge. It is lovely, the kids have a blast and no mud.

still need a sitting rock... he stopped laughing about that one and said go find it.

I bet this looks really nice. I guess that is what I am trying to say, little things that don't annoy the hub, do me because I work with this everyday and no what the outcome is going to be. I am not asking for him to fix it, just understand and not take offense to things that I do need to be different from the way they have been.

Now I can picture you bringing home a sitting rock. I have done this myself- hub wanted to get rid of a big rock, I didn't and moved it back where I wanted it. Ok, that was years ago.

[Unregistered]

Get blunter.

Saturday - You - Get rid of hill - THANKS!



The trainings who cares if he understands or agrees. Sounds like he doesn't care what you do in regards to them so choose which ever suits you best!

I will end up fixing the hill issue. I don't have to be blunt with him like that, he cares and supports me emotionally for the most part. I guess it is a problem that is not directly effecting him so he see's no concern or need to fix it.

He doesn't mind what I do, but he just doesn't see things the same way that I do. He is being passive aggressive with me. Maybe indifferent at the moment but not the norm. I feel like I am contradicting myself trying to get across, but I really am not. I just don't have the words to put this together.

[Unregistered]

My DH is a fantastic addition to my (our) business!!

He offers me a perspective that I don't often see. He also grew up with his mom having a child care and has lots of opinions/insight from the DCK's behalf.

As child care providers, women, mothers and humans, we wear a multitude of hats and sometimes it is hard to veer from what has always worked or from the way "we" want things to be.

Honestly, I think that unless you are (or have been) a child care provider you often don't "get it" and it has nothing to do with just hubbies.

Mine too... he is great. I am trying to make sure I get this across. He is just not seeing where my needs and where I am coming from sometimes. I agree this def applies to others not just hubbies. An example of this is I just can't have friends and family over the way that I could before doing daycare. I am working! I don't want this distraction and licensing doesn't want this. Safety issue. Try telling that to friends and family that are used to being able to drop in whenever.

Thank you to everyone that has responded and can relate.

[Unregistered]

One of the things that my DH doesn't get that peeves me is that I charge a flat weekly fee regardless of whether the child attends or not but I require that I be given a schedule of drop-off and pick-up times that my clients must stick to or otherwise notify me of changes or absences. I do this so that I can fill this temporary opening with a drop-in child and so that I make sure that I'm home during these times. My DH of course doesn't agree with this and thinks that everyone should be able to come and go as they see fit since they are paying for the time (his sister was having an issue with not telling me which days our nephew was coming, what time his father was dropping off or picking up etc).

My simple fix was to agree to let it be and let them to their thing and I continue with my day as I wanted. Wouldn't you know that for the next week I either wasn't here during drop-off or pickup because I was taking/picking up kids from school or on a walk (murphy's law I swear, I wasn't doing it on purpose). Well now he AND his sister get why I ask for pickup and drop off times .

my hubby doesn't get this either. I am open certain hours, but in those hours I am contracted and for many reasons. Pick up and drop off are not cramped. I know when I have openings for drop in care. I can plan my day. It keeps parents consistent with routine, so that my routine is not messed up because they decided to let little Susie sleep in half the day. Hubby feels they pay for the spot they should be able to come and go as they please. Wrong answer. Guess what........ the parents don't get this either!!! I feel for you Vanessa. I can relate. The next breath of his ( he is supporting of me with the daycare) do what your want. It is like a passive aggressive attitude with me.

Maybe I just needed to vent to those that understand. I appreciate all the replies.