Napping A 2.5 Year Old...She Should Still Nap At Day Care, RIGHT?!

[MaritimeMummy]

I am sure that there was a thread about this before but I don`t like hijacking. ;-)

I'm having some issues with my 2.5 year old DCG. She's my full-timer. She's very high energy and she's here from 7am to almost 6pm.

She's wearing me out. she's just constant stomping around, go-go-go. I mean, she's a great kid, but I am not allowed to nap her.

My issue with this is that she very obviously needs a nap. If I tell her it's quiet time, she lays down and is always the first one to fall asleep. She then sleeps longer than any of the other kids, and I have to physically wake her up. Whether I only let her sleep 30 minutes or 2 hours, the result is the same, she doesn't go to bed for her parents until anywhere between 9pm and midnight.

I don't know what to do. She gets very rascally as the day goes on if she doesn't nap. there have been times on days when I don't nap her that she just passes out. The other day at around 3pm she fell asleep in the middle of climbing up onthe couch. Seriously. Mid crawl. One leg touching the floor supporting herself. Then another day she fell asleep on the floor while playing with blocks. Both times where she passed out asleep was during the other kids' nap time. I have to nap them in different rooms away from the living room, which is the play area, because she's just too loud when she's awake.
My daughter is the oldest child, just turned 3, then this DCG is 2.5, and the other kids are between 14 months and 23 months.

Any suggestions? Her parents have been up and down with me on this and went from, "she needs something of a nap, please wake her up after 30 minutes" to "Don't let her nap at all anymore, we don't get any sleep". it's ridiculous. Suggestions?

[DaisyMamma]

too bad.
I require nap. if you arent in kindergarten you sleep here, its in my policies. if someome brought a kid like that I wouldnt do it, but thats just me. I would send them away. as it is I work over ten hours a day, during nap I clean at least one hour and then relax at least onw hour.
if your intent on keeping her maybe she can have an afternoon movie?

[cheerfuldom]

put her on a schedule that works for you. if that doesnt work for the parents, then they need to find a new daycare, period.

I believe 95% of us, if not more, do not offer "no nap" care unless a child is school age.

I would never keep a kid that many hours personally, and certainly never provide childcare with no daily nap

[daycare]

why can't you nap her? Sister.....let me tell you something....

if your policy is that all kids nap, then that is what this child needs to do..

I know there are some kids (like my own) who will stop napping at even this early of an age. BUT if she is falling asleep, then she needs a nap.

If you are consistent and the parents are also, this child will learn to follow the routine and nap for you daily. I would not be waking a child after 30 min of sleep. (right after they just fell into deep sleep) wheee we...No way...

What is your policy on napping??

[daycarediva]

Toddlers

From ages 1 to 3, most toddlers sleep about 10 to 13 hours. Separation anxiety, or just the desire to be up with mom and dad (and not miss anything), can motivate a child to stay awake. So can simple toddler-style contrariness.

Parents sometimes make the mistake of thinking that keeping a child up will make him or her sleepier for bedtime. In fact, though, kids can have a harder time sleeping if they're overtired. Set regular bedtimes and naptimes. Though most toddlers take naps during the day, you don't have to force your child to nap. But it's important to schedule some quiet time, even if your child chooses not to sleep.

Establishing a bedtime routine helps kids relax and get ready for sleep. For a toddler, the routine may be from 15 to 30 minutes long and include calming activities such as reading a story, bathing, and listening to soft music.

Whatever the nightly ritual is, your toddler will probably insist that it be the same every night. Just don't allow rituals to become too long or too complicated. Whenever possible, allow your toddler to make bedtime choices within the routine: which pajamas to wear, which stuffed animal to take to bed, what music to play. This gives your little one a sense of control over the routine.

http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/sleep.html#

I am thinking that she either has a poor bedtime routine, (or poorly enforced) AND/or she is overtired. I had this happen with one dcb and finally had to explain to Mom that there is NO WAY to safetly put all of the other kids down in one room (and read to them all) and leave dcb in the other room with the SA non nappers. I told her that I would take dcb in the napping room with me, and he would get the benefit of listening to the story, and then IF he fell asleep, he would be staying asleep. A kid who isn't tired/doesn't need a nap just WONT NAP. Plain and simple. My ds is 4 and doesn't need a nap, he goes into the napping room, cuddles with a blanket and a pillow on a mat, listens to a few stories and never falls asleep. He then comes out of the nap room with me to play quietly with the SA kids.

If she is there at 7, the latest she is getting up in the morning is at 6:30. If she is awake from 6:30-6:30pm with NO NAP she is way overtired. They need to set a bedtime and stick with it (even on weekends) There is noooo way sleeping from 12-6:30 is good for any kid.

[lil angels]

Oh I see so you have her for 11 hrs a day with no nap. Then parents take her home and can put her to bed without any time with them. I wouldn't want to go home and go to bed either if I never saw my mom and dad. Just to get up and have to go back there again in the morning. What ever that is a parenting problem and if they don't like your schedule it sounds like they might need another provider.

[Willow]

put her on a schedule that works for you. if that doesnt work for the parents, then they need to find a new daycare, period.

I believe 95% of us, if not more, do not offer "no nap" care unless a child is school age.

I would never keep a kid that many hours personally, and certainly never provide childcare with no daily nap

Agree 100%

This part especially. To me that's borders on, if not is, unethical. I get that everyone needs to make a living but for criminey's sake, at least one of them could find another job or different hours so they could stagger the amount of time she's away from them both.

That goes beyond doing daycare, you're raising the child near on your own at that point. What a shame....



Being away from mom and dad that many hours a day it's no wonder she refuses to go to sleep....she'd never see them otherwise!

[daycarediva]

So I would be asking Mom to get on board with you and try a regular nap routine at your house and a regular bedtime routine at home for two weeks. No deviations. I would bet it vastly improves dcg's sleep and behavior!

[nanglgrl]

First of all the child obviously NEEDS a nap. You need to have a talk with the parents about this. I hate the when parents say their child won't do something and I see it more and more. They need to set a bedtime routline with her and MAKE her lay down. When/if she gets out of bed they should (without any words) pick her up and put her back in bed (rinse and repeat) and it should only go for a week at the most ( in my experience more like 1 night) and she will stay in bed and sleep. It just irks me "little Johny wouldn't come to daycare unless I gave him a cookie" ummm...you're bigger than him, pick him up and put him in his carseat. I can't believe these parents don't want her to take a nap, if she falls asleep during play she must be a hellion come 6 pm when you don't let her sleep. When did we go from a society where children listen to adults to adults who listen to children?

[youretooloud]

Either let her nap, but tell the parents she didn't nap, (they will miraculously be able to get her to sleep) Or tell the parents "She's taking a nap, because I can't handle her moods anymore".

Plus, honestly, it's just cruel to keep a child up from nap just to convenience the adults in her life. They should just get her up earlier in the morning so she's not so wound up.

[MaritimeMummy]

I totally agree with you all, 100%. Really though, they are not the sort of people to do hands-off child rearing. they have no bedtime routine, they have admitted to me that at bedtime they put her in the car and drive around with her until she falls asleep. I mean *come on*.

If she doesn't nap here, she usually falls asleep by 6:30pm.

the parents have told me that it's "okay to nap her, just make sure to do it before lunch time". If she sleeps before lunch, she has permission to sleep however long she wants, be it 30 minutes or 3 hours. After lunch, it's a whole different ball game. BUt the thing is, I am NOT having two separate nap times. Until recently, my son was napping twice a day completely opposite of the other kids, I finally got him on the same name schedule. I am not doing two nap times again.

I feel like I've been up and down with this family. They don't get the separation anxiety thing because she appears to be very well adjusted and "loves coming here".

[MaritimeMummy]

Yeah, when she started coming here and her parents said she didn't nap, I said it was my rule that all kids at least lay down quietly and read books for 20 minutes. If they fall asleep in those 20 minutes, then they needed a nap.

They were fine with that, but as it turned out, she was konking out within 2 minutes, not 20. She even fell asleep before my own daughter, 6 months older than her, who still naps 2 hours every day and is asleep by 8-9pm. I told them this and they were shocked, because she doesn''t nap at home on the weekends and sure, she is a nightmare right around midday, they said, but it only takes 30 minutes of driving to get her to sleep rather than 2 hours!

I have tried napping her and on those days I don't even mention that she napped. They know the difference. They always report the next morning that she didn't go to sleep unti lmidnight, or that she was up all night with nigh terrors, or whatever. I mean, I feel bad that they can't get her to sleep but I agree with you all, nearly 11 hours here with no nap at 2.5 is pretty outrageous...especially since my 3 year old still naps.

I have tried making the living room a calm, quiet place for her on the days where I say, "okay kid, you're not getting a nap". I pull the curtains and make it dark, I put on tv so she can just quietly watch, but she is SOOOO squirrely that I am constantly reminding her that she's being too noisy. She's loud no matter what QUIET activity we do. ARGH.

[Blackcat31]

put her on a schedule that works for you. if that doesnt work for the parents, then they need to find a new daycare, period.

I believe 95% of us, if not more, do not offer "no nap" care unless a child is school age.

I would never keep a kid that many hours personally, and certainly never provide childcare with no daily nap

I agree with Cheer too!

You need to do what works for your child care program. You will NEVER please everyone with special requests and such so simply nap her when your nap time is and let the parents deal with the rest of her time.

What in the world do her parents do that she is with you for so long?

[cheerfuldom]

Yeah, when she started coming here and her parents said she didn't nap, I said it was my rule that all kids at least lay down quietly and read books for 20 minutes. If they fall asleep in those 20 minutes, then they needed a nap.

They were fine with that, but as it turned out, she was konking out within 2 minutes, not 20. She even fell asleep before my own daughter, 6 months older than her, who still naps 2 hours every day and is asleep by 8-9pm. I told them this and they were shocked, because she doesn''t nap at home on the weekends and sure, she is a nightmare right around midday, they said, but it only takes 30 minutes of driving to get her to sleep rather than 2 hours!

I have tried napping her and on those days I don't even mention that she napped. They know the difference. They always report the next morning that she didn't go to sleep unti lmidnight, or that she was up all night with nigh terrors, or whatever. I mean, I feel bad that they can't get her to sleep but I agree with you all, nearly 11 hours here with no nap at 2.5 is pretty outrageous...especially since my 3 year old still naps.

I have tried making the living room a calm, quiet place for her on the days where I say, "okay kid, you're not getting a nap". I pull the curtains and make it dark, I put on tv so she can just quietly watch, but she is SOOOO squirrely that I am constantly reminding her that she's being too noisy. She's loud no matter what QUIET activity we do. ARGH.

Do not base your decision off what the parents are telling you she is doing at home.....mainly because you cannot also be reacting to whatever current complaint they have about what she did the night before. Keep her on your routine each and every day. If her nights get more consistent, great and if not, thats not your problem. The parents have multiple issues going on at home, the biggest being that they admittedly have no bedtime routine. You cant fix everything but you can change what is happening at your house. Do not offer TV to an overstimulated and exhausted child....thats the worse thing you can do IMO. stop trying to "keep her quiet" during nap time and just put her down for a nap. PNP in a room by herself, darkened as much as possible, white noise or calming music, close the door and let her calm herself and go to sleep, period. I wouldnt worry about what the parents say later. Unless you are wiling to do this current craziness each and every day till kindergarten, you need to get a plan and change things now. Dont react to whatever her morning is like....naps are the same time, the same way, the same length every day no matter what.

[Ariana]

Do not base your decision off what the parents are telling you she is doing at home.....mainly because you cannot also be reacting to whatever current complaint they have about what she did the night before. Keep her on your routine each and every day. If her nights get more consistent, great and if not, thats not your problem. The parents have multiple issues going on at home, the biggest being that they admittedly have no bedtime routine. You cant fix everything but you can change what is happening at your house. Do not offer TV to an overstimulated and exhausted child....thats the worse thing you can do IMO. stop trying to "keep her quiet" during nap time and just put her down for a nap. PNP in a room by herself, darkened as much as possible, white noise or calming music, close the door and let her calm herself and go to sleep, period. I wouldnt worry about what the parents say later. Unless you are wiling to do this current craziness each and every day till kindergarten, you need to get a plan and change things now. Dont react to whatever her morning is like....naps are the same time, the same way, the same length every day no matter what.

totally agree! I had a mom who complained about naps interfering with night time. she was full of poop!! Her DD never went to bed until 9-10pm whether she napped here or not. The problem was the routine at home. Frequently the mom would take the kids to the park at 8pm. A 2 yr old at a park at 8pm is not normal nor is it conducive to sleep.

You need to tell her that these are the rules, like it or lump it. This is what I did! In the end the kid got the sleep she needed, just not at home.