Was I Wrong?

[jen2651]

Today I had a parent put me on the spot and I answered incorrectly. After he left, I texted back to correct my mistake. My husband tells me I was out of line - so, because I am so frustrated with myself, I am asking what you think...

Background...

This is a young, single dad. He works and is in the guard. A month and a half ago, he had annual training and didn't arrange payment. His mother picks up on Friday and she didn't say anything. So in the end, he was 2 weeks late. I let this slide (duh!) as I really had no way of getting a hold of him and he had no way of paying.

There was also a resubmitted check from my bank with a fee of $4 (it went through the second time).

I let those slide.

So, two weeks ago he didn't pay on Friday AND there was another resubmitted check. On Monday am I handed him an invoice for $132 (108 - 4 days of care, + $20 late fee, + $4 resubmission fee) on the invoice I had listed his other late and check fees with a dash - waived - and a zero on the money owed portion. I wanted him to see I had forgiven this and this isn't the first time.

So, I wrote a note on Monday of this week on his daughters form with no comment regarding late fees due. Last night I wrote a note saying after today late fees would incur on the money owed. So this morning (while 2 other parents were standing there) he asks me - that 24$ late fee, can I just use that since "daughter" was sick one day last week? I was flabergasted! I don't credit for sick and he knows it!? For some reason my mouth hanging agape I responded sure. DUH< STOP TALKING MOUTH. He then left.

He left and about 20 minutes later I sent him this text..."I am sorry, I was totally blindsided this am. I don't credit for sick days so yes, the $24 is still due. You can pay it on Monday am if you would like. I just need to make sure I treat all my families the same with regards to the policies outlined in my handbook."

Ok, so now....what do you all think? Was I totally wrong? I know I wasn't right but the more I thought about it, the more mad I got?! I don't walk up to my bank teller and say - I know I don't have enough money in my acct to cover this check, but since I had so much money last week, do you think we can let it slide this time?

grr....sorry....

[Blackcat31]

You were NOT wrong to correct your mistake. Sometimes during the hustle and bustle of a busy drop off time, it is easy to be put on the spot or distracted about things....it happens ALL the time.

You were right in correcting your mistake and re-telling him your policies.

I would have said you were totally wrong had you not corrected your mistake because then you would have been opening up the possibility of this dad always putting you on the spot so that it always works in his favor.

Stand by your policies and enforce them.

Curious as to why your DH thinks you were wrong. What is it he has issue with?

[jen2651]

He thinks since I said "sure" meaning it was fine that I shouldn't have gone back on that. I personally think my husband is just upset that I didn't stand up for myself from the beginning with this dad.

[Crazy8]

i don't think you were wrong at all. I HATE when parents ask me things in the hustle and bustle of the morning drop off. It has taken me a long time and I still screw up sometimes, but I've trained myself to make my initial response to EVERYTHING "I'll let you know" instead of the immediate "yes" that I often end up regretting!!!

[Blackcat31]

He thinks since I said "sure" meaning it was fine that I shouldn't have gone back on that. I personally think my husband is just upset that I didn't stand up for myself from the beginning with this dad.

Yes, but it is more mature and more responsible to address a sticky situation when a mistake was made than to just let it go and not say anything.

I think good business practice is to always enforce your policies as well as admit and fix mistakes when they are made. Shows you are human...which you are.

As far as letting the first fees be waived, good for you. When you CAN be flexible, it is nice to do it. Especially if you are in a position to do so.

[Loveyoustinkyface]

Good for you! You made your rules and stuck to them! And don't feel guilty.

[My3cents]

Today I had a parent put me on the spot and I answered incorrectly. After he left, I texted back to correct my mistake. My husband tells me I was out of line - so, because I am so frustrated with myself, I am asking what you think...

Background...

This is a young, single dad. He works and is in the guard. A month and a half ago, he had annual training and didn't arrange payment. His mother picks up on Friday and she didn't say anything. So in the end, he was 2 weeks late. I let this slide (duh!) as I really had no way of getting a hold of him and he had no way of paying.

There was also a resubmitted check from my bank with a fee of $4 (it went through the second time).

I let those slide.

So, two weeks ago he didn't pay on Friday AND there was another resubmitted check. On Monday am I handed him an invoice for $132 (108 - 4 days of care, + $20 late fee, + $4 resubmission fee) on the invoice I had listed his other late and check fees with a dash - waived - and a zero on the money owed portion. I wanted him to see I had forgiven this and this isn't the first time.

So, I wrote a note on Monday of this week on his daughters form with no comment regarding late fees due. Last night I wrote a note saying after today late fees would incur on the money owed. So this morning (while 2 other parents were standing there) he asks me - that 24$ late fee, can I just use that since "daughter" was sick one day last week? I was flabergasted! I don't credit for sick and he knows it!? For some reason my mouth hanging agape I responded sure. DUH< STOP TALKING MOUTH. He then left.

He left and about 20 minutes later I sent him this text..."I am sorry, I was totally blindsided this am. I don't credit for sick days so yes, the $24 is still due. You can pay it on Monday am if you would like. I just need to make sure I treat all my families the same with regards to the policies outlined in my handbook."

Ok, so now....what do you all think? Was I totally wrong? I know I wasn't right but the more I thought about it, the more mad I got?! I don't walk up to my bank teller and say - I know I don't have enough money in my acct to cover this check, but since I had so much money last week, do you think we can let it slide this time?

grr....sorry....

I think you handled yourself perfectly.

I would do this........ send out a newsletter to all the parents and reiterate you don't credit for sick days. He did this in front of the other parents and I would come down hard with that letter and make sure my rules were clear to all. This will stop special for all, or in case a parent heard that conversation and now has it in mind that they can pay late, or have fees waived etc...

If he brings anymore of this up explain to him that you are a business and you rely on your income just as he does his. I would also mention that in the future should he have to do training or vacations etc.. to please pay you ahead of time or make arrangements with you before.

This is one of the parts of doing daycare that I dislike the most. I don't know of many other jobs that you would wait or be in a position to negotiate or haggle pay. It is not right, and we take care of the parents most prized possession.

one more thing, if his checks are not clearing after 3 checks and all fees that are accrued I ask to be paid in cash. I am not going to play with my banking because you can't get your banking together. Works well this way. Three chances is two too many but I try to give the benefit of the doubt.

[daycare]

please dont take this wrong, but is your husband your business partner?

If not, then please don't let him affect your business decisions. This form is a great place to get advice and trust me your husband will love that you can come here for advice and venting so that he does not have to listen to it anymore.

YOu did the right thing. DOn't beat yourself up...

[cheerfuldom]

yeah sometimes my hubby tries to get involved and it is rarely helpful. his motives (keep the income coming into the house no matter what) are not the same as my motives (run a quality business). While I do run things by him, that doesnt mean that I will take his advice. you did the right thing OP. I would follow up with something to all parents because you may have accidentally confused them as well.....or made them mad that you are crediting for single dad (in their view) and not for them.

[daycare]

do you do a news letter of any kind?

I send out a small weekly news letter of our events of the upcoming week along with some friendly reminders. Those friendly reminders are basically reminding the parents of when payments are due, any issues going on and what not...

the parents seem to like it and I spend less time enforcing all of my rules face to face with each family.

MOst of my families are really good about following the rules and appreciate the reminders

[Lilbutterflie]

You were NOT wrong by correcting your mistake! Kuddos to you for using your backbone! I know exactly what you mean by saying "Sure" when you feel you are put on the spot. I've done it and regretted it.

I don't really understand why your DH had the problem with it, either. Sometimes during busy times, we say thing in response before really thinking about it. You responded too quickly with an incorrect answer and corrected your mistake. Nothing wrong with that at all!!

[daycare]

someone once told me that when you are put on the spot, either count to 10 in your head and wait to respond or always respond with: can I get back to you on that.....this way you have time to think about it before you give an answer.

I hate it when parents catch me off guard and I respond with stupid/wrong answers....

[My3cents]

Today I had a parent put me on the spot and I answered incorrectly. After he left, I texted back to correct my mistake. My husband tells me I was out of line - so, because I am so frustrated with myself, I am asking what you think...

Background...

This is a young, single dad. He works and is in the guard. A month and a half ago, he had annual training and didn't arrange payment. His mother picks up on Friday and she didn't say anything. So in the end, he was 2 weeks late. I let this slide (duh!) as I really had no way of getting a hold of him and he had no way of paying.

There was also a resubmitted check from my bank with a fee of $4 (it went through the second time).

I let those slide.

So, two weeks ago he didn't pay on Friday AND there was another resubmitted check. On Monday am I handed him an invoice for $132 (108 - 4 days of care, + $20 late fee, + $4 resubmission fee) on the invoice I had listed his other late and check fees with a dash - waived - and a zero on the money owed portion. I wanted him to see I had forgiven this and this isn't the first time.

So, I wrote a note on Monday of this week on his daughters form with no comment regarding late fees due. Last night I wrote a note saying after today late fees would incur on the money owed. So this morning (while 2 other parents were standing there) he asks me - that 24$ late fee, can I just use that since "daughter" was sick one day last week? I was flabergasted! I don't credit for sick and he knows it!? For some reason my mouth hanging agape I responded sure. DUH< STOP TALKING MOUTH. He then left.

He left and about 20 minutes later I sent him this text..."I am sorry, I was totally blindsided this am. I don't credit for sick days so yes, the $24 is still due. You can pay it on Monday am if you would like. I just need to make sure I treat all my families the same with regards to the policies outlined in my handbook."

Ok, so now....what do you all think? Was I totally wrong? I know I wasn't right but the more I thought about it, the more mad I got?! I don't walk up to my bank teller and say - I know I don't have enough money in my acct to cover this check, but since I had so much money last week, do you think we can let it slide this time?

grr....sorry....

How did everything work out? Anything else said by the parent or others?

I agree with other poster that said unless your hub is your business partner...... hard to do when we value our hubs opinions and need to vent. They just don't often get it. They are not in it, all day like we are. They are not balancing business and being a caring person the way we do. They often just care that the $ comes in.

[jen2651]

I had sent him that text and he never responded but had my $24 this am when he dropped off! I am so glad I stood up for myself. The whole payment thing is just really annoying because first off - duh, second off, my bank is 20 miles from my house and I only go once a week - Friday night or Sat am! So when someone gives me a check on Monday, it sits here until Friday! The least you could do when you are late is give me cash so I could spend it immediately!?

Thanks all for your hlep!

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

I just wanted to add, if you had not gone back and corrected your mistake right away, he would always think that he will get credited for days child does not attend. And that would mean the next time his child doesn't attend on a scheduled day, he would expect it again, and you would REALLY be in an awkward position trying to explain the whole story of why you let him that time, but not now... you might want to explain the whole "why" of it to your husband, if he still thinks you shouldn't have corrected it.