How Long to Wait to Call Again?

[Aya477]

at Janet again:
You better believe that if I am in a meeting, I could not leave to take a phone call unless a receptionist was told it was an emergency. I do not take my cell phone to meetings because I find it unprofessional to see others fiddling with their phones while in a meeting. It signals that you are more interested in your little blackberry or text message than you are in the matter at hand. I am career oriented as well as family oriented. I do need my job and the salary it provides for my family just as many of you accept parents and children in situations that are less than ideal because you want the income. So we really aren't much different, are we? You do not know me or my work situation to make any type of determination on what is acceptable in my work place or not or what type of parent I am (nice jab, nanny). As far as not charging my cell--are we not all human? Do we not all get carried away with day to day activities and forgot things occasionally? I suppose you are perfect and never make a mistake or forget anything from time to time. I didn't say it was a routine thing to forget to charge my phone--I said OCCASIONALLY.

My child's provider has my office line and my cell line. They have my hubby's office and his cell. They have our emergency contacts. Fortunately, there has never been an emergency arise and the few times I have been contacted by his daycare for non-emergencies, I have been available. They also have authorization to transport him to the ER if they cannot contact me and can do so because they are a daycare center and not an in home provider limited to one individual caring for a number of children. Here is a perfect example of where IF a provider could see things from a parent's perspective then they would be more understanding of a parent's situation (say, when you can't reach Mom). More understanding of eachother is needed to be able to function harmonically. And more understanding and respect of eachother would most likely eliminate alot of the need to vent.

And you don't think a parent can help you see another perspective but yet you go to a website to get advice from your counterparts...counterparts that know nothing about your business setup, your strategy, your beliefs, observed you as a provider, observed the children under your care, etc? You believe those people can help you see a different vantage point but you don't believe that I could? Am I interpreting that correctly even though you go on to say that you like to hear from parents? That seems rather oxymoronic and hypocritcal. If you don't think I can help you see a different perspective, then why? What makes me different from the counterparts you are open to ideas from? Is it because I am a parent and never been a provider? I didn't say I'm trying to change the world. I said because of my experiences, I only wish I could help the closed minded providers see a different perspective. I didn't say I'm the only person that has had bad experiences and am the sole individual that could help merge provider/parent relationships. Providers should appreciate that there are parents that exist who see there is strain in the parent/provider dynamic and would like to help each other understand the other better. And NO, I absolutely do not think it is prudent to know if I am a parent, provider, alien, or ghost. It makes no difference when speaking about basic social concepts such as respect, trust, and understanding. It shows that you automatically discredit me because I am not a provider and that is quite a shame.

I am not one of those parents that should be grouped into the lump of displeasurable parents. I am an involved parent. I stay at home with my son some days just because I want to. If he is sick, I keep him home. I pay daycare on time every month--$903/month for one child (almost 4yo). Is child care perfect? No, no child care setting is perfect for ANY parent. But if we can all respect each other's opinions and each other as human beings and cease the assumptions, it certainly would be a better experience for all of us.

[momofboys]

Why is it so terrible to talk poorly about our clients if it is the truth? Why must a provider just "shut up & take the abuse" so to speak? Is it okay if my clients pick up late, give no notice, expect credits for themselves when they take time off, expect me to give plenty of notice for days off, etc. Yet when the ball is in my court it's unacceptable for me to expect the same courtesy from my families or at least it is seen as unacceptable to post about it on this forum. Not everyone talks poorly about their clients. But some of us need to be able to vent. Friends & family typically can't quite understand what a provider goes through. Only other providers understand & that is why there are numerous vents on this board. Because other daycare providers "get it" like no parent can!

[Janet]

Actually...

LOL! After thinking about it, I relaized that nanny had to read through HUNDREDS of posts to find that! ! Hope you had fun!

BTW, I blocked guest access to my forum. If you'd like to read the post Nanny linked to, feel free to pm me ad I'll send it to you, or register on the forum and you can see ALL of my posts, where you will find very little in the way of my ever being unprofessional.

I have to say that it was a nice change to read something that you wrote that had a spark of authenticity to it. It's a refreshing change to see you have a human moment. Does it ever occur to you that you come across to some people as having a massive ego? You make it seem like you are the consummate professional and that we could all learn alot from you. I have no doubt that you probably do have a lot of information that I could benefit from, because I know that I don't have all of the answers, but a lot of your posts have a condescending tone.

[nannyde]

After thinking about it, I relaized that nanny had to read through HUNDREDS of posts to find that! ! Hope you had fun!

Yup that's what I do.

BTW, I blocked guest access to my forum.

Yeah knew that would happen.

If you'd like to read the post Nanny linked to, feel free to pm me ad I'll send it to you, or register on the forum.

Or they could feel free to PM me.

and you can see ALL of my posts, where you will find very little in the way of my ever being unprofessional

Only takes one.

[jen]

Yep, the original purpose was to ask how long she should wait. I recognize that but it also sparked my curiosity (again) as to why it is typically assumed that the parents knew their child was sick from Op's comments and the following poster's remark. I can't think of a single thread in any forum that always stays on topic just as others reminded OP to state her sick policy again (as if the parent did something wrong) or if OP even asked for advice on the sick policy. No need to point that out to me.

I don't know anything about the child the OP referred to or his/her parents. I am ALWAYS on the phone or in a meeting at work, and likely may not be able to return a message from my provider timely. On occasion, I will leave my cell out in the car to charge if I forgot to do so overnight and thus would not be reached on an "electronic device". Nor would I answer my cell phone if I were on the phone with a client or in a meeting. My hubby is rarely in his office and calling his cell is futile as well because he is involved in events with clients for his job 4/5 days a week. So if by chance he and I were involved in something at work and unavailable when our provider calls, we would also be talked about, huh?

Seriously...you think forgetting to charge your cell phone is a VALID excuse for not being available to your provider? That's not a valid excuse for my 16 year old not calling me to tell me he plans on being 10 minutes late. Would I talk about you? I would talk to you...and after you left I'm sure my husband would get an earful as well. What could you possibly be "involved in" that is more important than your child????

I am a parent but I don't know how that is relevant. I do not have to be a provider or ever have been a provider to understand the need for mutual respect. But if it is important to you, then I will tell you that I have never been a provider (and do not desire to be) and can give you a parent-only perspective. Because of atrocious experiences with my son's childcare, I only wish I could give the closed minded providers a perspective from a parent that would enlighten them to change their mentality.

I have a feeling that your provider probably felt that the experience was atrocious as well. Perhaps if were more open minded or more attuned to the needs of your child, you would change YOUR mentality. Without fail when I hear providers complain, it is about a lack of parenting. It's ridiculous to expect someone else to deal with your sick child because you forgot your cell phone or are too busy with other, obviously more important things.

So you may not be one of those providers who routinely complain or rather complain to everyone else except the person who is the source of aggravation. But clearly there are those here.

I believe someone else commented on the site being for providers who are asking eachother for advice. I see that just as in an equal percentage see others complaining about parents and children.

[Janet]

Aya477

at Janet again:
You better believe that if I am in a meeting, I could not leave to take a phone call unless a receptionist was told it was an emergency. I do not take my cell phone to meetings because I find it unprofessional to see others fiddling with their phones while in a meeting. It signals that you are more interested in your little blackberry or text message than you are in the matter at hand. If it is a call about my child, I AM more interested in my child than the matter at hand. I am career oriented as well as family oriented. I do need my job and the salary it provides for my family just as many of you accept parents and children in situations that are less than ideal because you want the income. So we really aren't much different, are we? You do not know me or my work situation to make any type of determination on what is acceptable in my work place or not or what type of parent I am (nice jab, nanny). As far as not charging my cell--are we not all human? Do we not all get carried away with day to day activities and forgot things occasionally? I suppose you are perfect and never make a mistake or forget anything from time to time. I'm far from perfect. I never said that I was perfect. I know that forgetting things is common, I'm not disputing that. My issue is with NOT taking calls because you are in a meeting, not with forgetting your cell phone. I didn't say it was a routine thing to forget to charge my phone--I said OCCASIONALLY.

My child's provider has my office line and my cell line. They have my hubby's office and his cell. They have our emergency contacts. Fortunately, there has never been an emergency arise and the few times I have been contacted by his daycare for non-emergencies, I have been available. They also have authorization to transport him to the ER if they cannot contact me and can do so because they are a daycare center and not an in home provider limited to one individual caring for a number of children. Actually, every single in-home daycare provider that I know (including myself) has an emergency back up provider available to them in case the need arises to transport a child to the hospital. Here is a perfect example of where IF a provider could see things from a parent's perspective then they would be more understanding of a parent's situation (say, when you can't reach Mom). More understanding of eachother is needed to be able to function harmonically. And more understanding and respect of eachother would most likely eliminate alot of the need to vent. And in what way are you trying to understand the position of the daycare provider who is trying to manage a sick child who needs to be at home and whose parents can't be reached and the other kids who the provider would like to be able to give her attention to? How would that make you feel? Believe me, I understand that it's not always easy for parents to get out of work to pick up their child due to illness, so I make sure that if I call, it's because it's important!
And you don't think a parent can help you see another perspective but yet you go to a website to get advice from your counterparts...counterparts that know nothing about your business setup, your strategy, your beliefs, observed you as a provider, observed the children under your care, etc? You believe those people can help you see a different vantage point but you don't believe that I could? Am I interpreting that correctly even though you go on to say that you like to hear from parents? That seems rather oxymoronic and hypocritcal. If you don't think I can help you see a different perspective, then why? What makes me different from the counterparts you are open to ideas from? Is it because I am a parent and never been a provider? Nope, that's not why. It's because you're not offering information that is workable for both parties. Constructive criticism is fine by me, as long as it works to solve problems. I didn't say I'm trying to change the world. I said because of my experiences, I only wish I could help the closed minded providers see a different perspective. I didn't say I'm the only person that has had bad experiences and am the sole individual that could help merge provider/parent relationships. Providers should appreciate that there are parents that exist who see there is strain in the parent/provider dynamic and would like to help each other understand the other better. And NO, I absolutely do not think it is prudent to know if I am a parent, provider, alien, or ghost. It makes no difference when speaking about basic social concepts such as respect, trust, and understanding. It shows that you automatically discredit me because I am not a provider and that is quite a shame. Of course it matters!

I am not one of those parents that should be grouped into the lump of displeasurable parents. I am an involved parent. I stay at home with my son some days just because I want to. If he is sick, I keep him home. I pay daycare on time every month--$903/month for one child (almost 4yo). Is child care perfect? No, no child care setting is perfect for ANY parent. But if we can all respect each other's opinions and each other as human beings and cease the assumptions, it certainly would be a better experience for all of us.

I'm not saying that you should be lumped in with the "displeasurable parents".

[Crystal]

I have to say that it was a nice change to read something that you wrote that had a spark of authenticity to it. It's a refreshing change to see you have a human moment. Does it ever occur to you that you come across to some people as having a massive ego? You make it seem like you are the consummate professional and that we could all learn alot from you. I have no doubt that you probably do have a lot of information that I could benefit from, because I know that I don't have all of the answers, but a lot of your posts have a condescending tone.

Thank you. I do appreciate and RESPECT your opinion.
I do realize that I seem that way sometimes. Honestly, it is not intentional, and sometimes I choose the wrong words, but I do get irritated when, on a daily basis, I see providers who seem to really dislike their job and nearly every post is bitching and moaning about the people they work for and with, including parents AND children. I just wonder WHY they continue in this field if they really feel the way they say they do. It just doesn't seem right to me.

[Aya477]

GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE!

I only asked why providers typically point the finger to parents and now all of this??? It's no wonder many of you experience such dismay on a day to day basis and come here to "vent".

I never said you can't vent. I simply find it rather pathetic that there is so much of it here rather than positive talk or true inquiry on how to better your program based on other's experiences. Instead, it's incessant bitching and complaining about parents and children. Now, that is a fact. You may not be able to recognize it because you are too caught up in the bitching and complaining yourself.

After reading multiple posts on the provider portion, I can only advise those routine complainers of this:
If you are finding yourself complaining more about your job than experiencing joy and happiness with it, then for god's sake find something else to do. If you aren't making money doing it, then find something else to do or find a way to make your business profitable while also keeping you happy. If you are tired of the parent's antics, then find something to do that does not involve parents. If you are tired of the children pushing you to the brink, then find something to do that does not involve children. If you are finding yourself coming to daycare.com to ask your counterparts what to do about something as simple as asking a parent for money, then you should not run a business anyway. Harsh but true.

[momofboys]

GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE!

I only asked why providers typically point the finger to parents and now all of this??? It's no wonder many of you experience such dismay on a day to day basis and come here to "vent".

I never said you can't vent. I simply find it rather pathetic that there is so much of it here rather than positive talk or true inquiry on how to better your program based on other's experiences. Instead, it's incessant bitching and complaining about parents and children. Now, that is a fact. You may not be able to recognize it because you are too caught up in the bitching and complaining yourself.

After reading multiple posts on the provider portion, I can only advise those routine complainers of this:
If you are finding yourself complaining more about your job than experiencing joy and happiness with it, then for god's sake find something else to do. If you aren't making money doing it, then find something else to do or find a way to make your business profitable while also keeping you happy. If you are tired of the parent's antics, then find something to do that does not involve parents. If you are tired of the children pushing you to the brink, then find something to do that does not involve children. If you are finding yourself coming to daycare.com to ask your counterparts what to do about something as simple as asking a parent for money, then you should not run a business anyway. Harsh but true.

I think you were missing the point. At least my point. I very rarely have complained about the children in my care. The parents have been another story. What's "simple" about asking a parent who for whatever reason is not honoring their contract & paying on time? I guess what I am trying to say is if the parents were doing what they were supposed to do there would be a lot less complaining!

[Aya477]

at Janet again:
If it is a call about my child, I AM more interested in my child than the matter at hand.

I'm far from perfect. I never said that I was perfect. I know that forgetting things is common, I'm not disputing that. My issue is with NOT taking calls because you are in a meeting, not with forgetting your cell phone.

And in what way are you trying to understand the position of the daycare provider who is trying to manage a sick child who needs to be at home and whose parents can't be reached and the other kids who the provider would like to be able to give her attention to? How would that make you feel? Believe me, I understand that it's not always easy for parents to get out of work to pick up their child due to illness, so I make sure that if I call, it's because it's important!

It's because you're not offering information that is workable for both parties. Constructive criticism is fine by me, as long as it works to solve problems.

Of course it matters!
I'm not saying that you should be lumped in with the "displeasurable parents".

Alrighty-let's try to end this debate, ok?
I did not say that I do not take my providers calls nor that I am not interested in my child. I said that others who have their phones in meetings appear to be more concerned with something else other than the meeting. I have received non-emergency calls from dc and fortunately have been able to answer the calls--the calls came in on my office line at that. The provider didn't even have to call my cell! One time I received a voicemail but the provider also called my husband and got him. When I called her back, she had already spoken to my husband and all was resolved which was just letting us know that our son had been bitten by another child--another non-emergency. My child is my utmost importance and I will expand on that later. I have a job that is highly visible to people that can make or break my career or even whether or not I have a job. And if I am in a meeting, I am generally with atleast one of those individuals. Here's an example of why I do not take my phone to meetings any longer: I have a blackberry so emails (and I get 100's a day) go to this thing. It constantly buzzes. In a meeting one time, a particular individual that could make or break my career told me that my phone was annoying in meetings because it was constantly going off. So what am I going to do? I am going to leave the darn thing at my desk because I want to be respected at work. I want to keep my job. So it's not that I DO NOT answer my provider's calls nor that I think I shouldn't because I am involved in something more important. If I didn't answer my cell the provider has my office line and could let the receptionist know it is an emergency at which point I would be notified and of course take the call. Because those measures are in place, I do not concern myself with the possibility of missing my provider's call. I only wanted to point out that even in my situation, it is possible to not be able to answer a call or timely respond and to indirectly give a spot for a provider to put themselves in the parent's shoes. Nowhere should that be interpreted as me not finding calls from the provider as anything but a top priority.

Where I was trying to understand a provider:
I simply asked why providers typically assume that a parent knowingly dropped a sick child off at care with an illness that would exclude them from care. That's a valid question and an attempt to gain the provider's perspective. And I asked because I have read sooo many times where providers automatically believe the parent knew the child was sick. It was about the finger pointing to the parents....nothing else.

How did I not offer information that is workable for both parties? How is it not helpful to remind everyone to put yourself in the parent's shoes or remember what it was like when you were a parent before you became a provider? I did offer a situation where I may not have my cell with me and how my hubby is launching events for his clients and cannot stop a presentation to look at his phone to see who is calling. That's rather relevant to provide a parent's perspective for why they may not be able to call a provider back immediately.

I will ask again: Why does it matter if I am a parent or provider? Reasons...not just a statement saying it matters.

My child is never in the care of anyone else for any reason other than my hubby and I working which is business hours Mon-Fri. We have never left him with a babysitter so that we can do something for ourselves. We have never planned and wouldn't even begin to plan to do something that would exclude him. So while you do not know me nor the family we provide for my son, please know that I am an exceptional and involved parent. I would never ignore a provider's calls and I do find my child to be superiorly important to me above all else.

[Aya477]

Seriously...you think forgetting to charge your cell phone is a VALID excuse for not being available to your provider? That's not a valid excuse for my 16 year old not calling me to tell me he plans on being 10 minutes late. Would I talk about you? I would talk to you...and after you left I'm sure my husband would get an earful as well. What could you possibly be "involved in" that is more important than your child????

I have a feeling that your provider probably felt that the experience was atrocious as well. Perhaps if were more open minded or more attuned to the needs of your child, you would change YOUR mentality. Without fail when I hear providers complain, it is about a lack of parenting. It's ridiculous to expect someone else to deal with your sick child because you forgot your cell phone or are too busy with other, obviously more important things.

Jen: automatically assuming that the provider felt I was a horrible parent is precisely what irritates me about many of you on this site along with why there is continual problems with providers and parents. And saying that I am not attuned to my child---on what basis can you intelligently and with meritable facts defend that remark?

Do you know my daycare experience? NO. Do you know how I handled myself with the provider? NO. My child was not being supervised at daycare as evident on the classroom camera. The children were being left in the classroom unattended so that the teacher could talk with a co-worker in the hallway or stand in the doorway to see who was coming down the hall. The teachers were not interacting with the children at all again as evident on the classroom camera. We started having horrible drop offs because my son would continuously say he did not want to be there and that a particular teacher was mean. And when we would leave him there, he would crawl into what they called cozy corner and not come out for about an hour. What did the owner do when I talked with her about my concerns with what I was seeing on the camera? She interviewed the teachers who described my child as someone other than what the owner even knows him to be which was quiet and would not play with other children. That is not my child's personality and that was not what I saw on camera--I saw my child playing with nearly all of the 20 kids in his classroom. The teachers' defense strategy was that maybe my child was sick or wasn't getting enough sleep and also said the children of the classroom weren't bonding with eachother. The teachers weren't looking at themselves as the potential problem but ready to blame us, the parents, as being the problem. The owner decided to be diplomatic and watched several days of footage from the classroom and agreed that the teachers were not interacting with the children and not doing as they should. The owner assured me that things would change in the classroom and that I should see an immediate change that week. She asked me to give her a week or two to implement some new things. At 8 weeks, there was no change. Things got worse. I talked with the owner about it who claimed that she could not supervise the teachers via camera or be at the center as often as necessary and asked me to give her some additional time. Because my child is most important to me and because I am an attuned and involved parent, I provided notice and withdrew my child so that he did not have a negative experience any longer. Where does that make me not attuned to my child's needs or be a parent loathed by the center? It doesn't.

[professionalmom]

GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE!

I only asked why providers typically point the finger to parents and now all of this??? It's no wonder many of you experience such dismay on a day to day basis and come here to "vent".

I never said you can't vent. I simply find it rather pathetic that there is so much of it here rather than positive talk or true inquiry on how to better your program based on other's experiences. Instead, it's incessant bitching and complaining about parents and children. Now, that is a fact. You may not be able to recognize it because you are too caught up in the bitching and complaining yourself.

After reading multiple posts on the provider portion, I can only advise those routine complainers of this:
If you are finding yourself complaining more about your job than experiencing joy and happiness with it, then for god's sake find something else to do. If you aren't making money doing it, then find something else to do or find a way to make your business profitable while also keeping you happy. If you are tired of the parent's antics, then find something to do that does not involve parents. If you are tired of the children pushing you to the brink, then find something to do that does not involve children. If you are finding yourself coming to daycare.com to ask your counterparts what to do about something as simple as asking a parent for money, then you should not run a business anyway. Harsh but true.

First, as I said before, I am not trying to jump on your case, just trying to explain.
Second, I am VERY thankful that I found this site. Why? Because I was bending over backwards to the point of allowing myself to be verbally abused, harassed, intimidated, taken advantage of, and even demeaned in front of the children. I even got to the point to where I couldn't talk to one parent in any tone above a whisper because she scared me so much. I began to think I was stupid, screwed up, didn't deserve any respect, and that this was the way daycare provider's must be getting treated, like we're second class citizens. (Side note: I have over 20 years of work experience in various fields, a bachelors' degree, quit law school in my 2nd yr to be a FT mom, as a good decent Christian woman, have overcome obstacles I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy, etc - certainly someone worthy of respect. I may not be perfect, but I strive for it everyday). The abusive clients tried to convince me that this was normal and that there was nothing wrong with how they treated me. Once I found this site, I realized that I'm not crazy for wanting or expecting at least a minimum amount of respect. I learned that just because I am a daycare provider does NOT give anyone the right to abuse me in any way. I started getting a spine to be a business owner and stand up for myself.

When I come on here and ask a question, it's because I want guidance or I need someone to back me up, because (of course) the parent is telling me I'm wrong and making me lose my nerve to stand up and defend myself.

FYI - when I say something like, "I hate it when parents ..." I am NOT saying, "I hate it when ALL parents..." The "lumping" of all parents is being assumed. I could be wrong here, but I don't think I have ever seen a post where a provider said that "ALL parents ..."

Another FYI - daycares are ALWAYS being villianized in the media. You never hear about the number of daycare providers that have rescued children from abusive homes. You never hear about the daycare providers who are threatened with bodily harm or even death because a parent is ticked off that the provider charged late fees or is terminating for nonpayment. You never hear about the daily abuse that some of us have endured. So we are the ones out here, all alone. We do not have the benefit of an office cooler to complain about that new company policy that the "suits" made up that will never work or about who slept with who to get that promotion. This is our water cooler. It's our place, one of our only places, for camaraderie.

And finally, as for us not liking our jobs. Oh ... my ... goodness. I would bet that at least 90% of the providers on here LOVE their jobs, taking care of children, interacting with the children, nurturing them, loving them, teaching them, etc. What we complain about the vast majoring of the time are the parents and the 5 minute interactions we have with them twice a day. Trust me, if I could hire someone to show up just to run interference so I never had to see or talk to the parents, I would consider this the perfect, ideal job of all time. Why should we give up a job we love, just because we don't want to be abused or disrespected by parents. Again, I said "parents", not "All parents".

Sadly, these short parent conversations can totally screw up the day. Imagine that you LOVED the work you did, but every morning your boss came in and screamed at you in front of everyone and told everyone that you don't deserve your paycheck because you don't do anything (even though you are working 60-80 hours a week to try to impress him and never take a lunch or break. Wouldn't you feel the need to vent? It would be a situation where you can't stand the boss (client), but you LOVE the actual work. It's a catch 22, unless you can find another boss or company (client) in the exact same field.

For the record, the 2 families I currently have are the most awesome clients EVER.

[Aya477]

First, as I said before, I am not trying to jump on your case, just trying to explain.
Second, I am VERY thankful that I found this site. Why? Because I was bending over backwards to the point of allowing myself to be verbally abused, harassed, intimidated, taken advantage of, and even demeaned in front of the children. I even got to the point to where I couldn't talk to one parent in any tone above a whisper because she scared me so much. I began to think I was stupid, screwed up, didn't deserve any respect, and that this was the way daycare provider's must be getting treated, like we're second class citizens. (Side note: I have over 20 years of work experience in various fields, a bachelors' degree, quit law school in my 2nd yr to be a FT mom, as a good decent Christian woman, have overcome obstacles I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy, etc - certainly someone worthy of respect. I may not be perfect, but I strive for it everyday). The abusive clients tried to convince me that this was normal and that there was nothing wrong with how they treated me. Once I found this site, I realized that I'm not crazy for wanting or expecting at least a minimum amount of respect. I learned that just because I am a daycare provider does NOT give anyone the right to abuse me in any way. I started getting a spine to be a business owner and stand up for myself.

When I come on here and ask a question, it's because I want guidance or I need someone to back me up, because (of course) the parent is telling me I'm wrong and making me lose my nerve to stand up and defend myself.

FYI - when I say something like, "I hate it when parents ..." I am NOT saying, "I hate it when ALL parents..." The "lumping" of all parents is being assumed. I could be wrong here, but I don't think I have ever seen a post where a provider said that "ALL parents ..."

Another FYI - daycares are ALWAYS being villianized in the media. You never hear about the number of daycare providers that have rescued children from abusive homes. You never hear about the daycare providers who are threatened with bodily harm or even death because a parent is ticked off that the provider charged late fees or is terminating for nonpayment. You never hear about the daily abuse that some of us have endured. So we are the ones out here, all alone. We do not have the benefit of an office cooler to complain about that new company policy that the "suits" made up that will never work or about who slept with who to get that promotion. This is our water cooler. It's our place, one of our only places, for camaraderie.

And finally, as for us not liking our jobs. Oh ... my ... goodness. I would bet that at least 90% of the providers on here LOVE their jobs, taking care of children, interacting with the children, nurturing them, loving them, teaching them, etc. What we complain about the vast majoring of the time are the parents and the 5 minute interactions we have with them twice a day. Trust me, if I could hire someone to show up just to run interference so I never had to see or talk to the parents, I would consider this the perfect, ideal job of all time. Why should we give up a job we love, just because we don't want to be abused or disrespected by parents. Again, I said "parents", not "All parents".

Sadly, these short parent conversations can totally screw up the day. Imagine that you LOVED the work you did, but every morning your boss came in and screamed at you in front of everyone and told everyone that you don't deserve your paycheck because you don't do anything (even though you are working 60-80 hours a week to try to impress him and never take a lunch or break. Wouldn't you feel the need to vent? It would be a situation where you can't stand the boss (client), but you LOVE the actual work. It's a catch 22, unless you can find another boss or company (client) in the exact same field.

For the record, the 2 families I currently have are the most awesome clients EVER.

My comments weren't directed at you. But there is no denying that there are a number of posts saying parents don't get it or why do parents do this, that, the other. General statements pertaining to parents as a group are made. The preface of "all" is not required to interpret many comments as pertaining to parents on the whole. I have a few co-workers reading this site and they too are astonished at the comments made by the providers. In all complete honesty-MANY comments appear incredibly disrespectful of parents on the whole. Just an observation from a parent.....

I truly am sorry that so many of you have had an apparent horrible experience with so many parents. That is very unfortunate. I am not the type of putrid parent you described fortunately and believe that my provider is thankful of me as well.

Glad you have found an outlet that has helped you grow as an individual and provider.

[jen]

Jen: automatically assuming that the provider felt I was a horrible parent is precisely what irritates me about many of you on this site along with why there is continual problems with providers and parents. And saying that I am not attuned to my child---on what basis can you intelligently and with meritable facts defend that remark?

Do you know my daycare experience? NO. Do you know how I handled myself with the provider? NO. My child was not being supervised at daycare as evident on the classroom camera. The children were being left in the classroom unattended so that the teacher could talk with a co-worker in the hallway or stand in the doorway to see who was coming down the hall. The teachers were not interacting with the children at all again as evident on the classroom camera. We started having horrible drop offs because my son would continuously say he did not want to be there and that a particular teacher was mean. And when we would leave him there, he would crawl into what they called cozy corner and not come out for about an hour. What did the owner do when I talked with her about my concerns with what I was seeing on the camera? She interviewed the teachers who described my child as someone other than what the owner even knows him to be which was quiet and would not play with other children. That is not my child's personality and that was not what I saw on camera--I saw my child playing with nearly all of the 20 kids in his classroom. The teachers' defense strategy was that maybe my child was sick or wasn't getting enough sleep and also said the children of the classroom weren't bonding with eachother. The teachers weren't looking at themselves as the potential problem but ready to blame us, the parents, as being the problem. The owner decided to be diplomatic and watched several days of footage from the classroom and agreed that the teachers were not interacting with the children and not doing as they should. The owner assured me that things would change in the classroom and that I should see an immediate change that week. She asked me to give her a week or two to implement some new things. At 8 weeks, there was no change. Things got worse. I talked with the owner about it who claimed that she could not supervise the teachers via camera or be at the center as often as necessary and asked me to give her some additional time. Because my child is most important to me and because I am an attuned and involved parent, I provided notice and withdrew my child so that he did not have a negative experience any longer. Where does that make me not attuned to my child's needs or be a parent loathed by the center? It doesn't.

No, I don't automatically assume anything. However when you say: "I am ALWAYS on the phone or in a meeting at work, and likely may not be able to return a message from my provider timely. On occasion, I will leave my cell out in the car to charge if I forgot to do so overnight and thus would not be reached on an "electronic device". Nor would I answer my cell phone if I were on the phone with a client or in a meeting. My hubby is rarely in his office and calling his cell is futile as well because he is involved in events with clients for his job 4/5 days a week." you give the impression that being available to your provider is optional, which it is not.


From a provider's perspective when parents are involved in their careers to the point where we are left to deal with a sick child, manage the rest of the kids in care, and spend valuable time trying to track down a parent it is annoying to say the very least.

Imagine being responsible for several children, one of them is vomiting--and generally not in the bathroom. The provider is trying to comfort the sick child and keep the other kids from getting into contact with the sick child or vomit. Once the child is settled you still need to clean up the mess and still provide care to the other kids. All the while trying to reach a parent who forgot to charge the cell phone. It's easy as a parent to think it isn't such a big deal, but then again you've never experienced it.

I have to say that all my parents at the moment are GREAT! But only because I learned to weed out the ones who were disrespectful of my time and the effort that I put in to providing really great care.

[Former Teacher]

LOL! After thinking about it, I relaized that nanny had to read through HUNDREDS of posts to find that! ! Hope you had fun!

BTW, I blocked guest access to my forum. If you'd like to read the post Nanny linked to, feel free to pm me ad I'll send it to you, or register on the forum and you can see ALL of my posts, where you will find very little in the way of my ever being unprofessional.

Crystal..Just wanted to say...I may sound like a broken record because I have told you before, but I totally agree with you. I am a regular member of this forum and yes you vent and be outspoken ( WE ALL DO! THAT'S WHAT THIS IS FOR!), however I have NEVER seen you be unprofessional.

The rest I will say in a private message ::