How Long to Wait to Call Again?

[momofboys]

Perhaps there weren't several comments specifying the opinion that the parent knew in this particular thread, but in other threads the same logic has been expressed multiple times and I couldn't resist an inquiry.

I do understand that there are those parents that you regularly deal with that cause grief but more often than not, the posts on this site always point negatively to the parents (and sometimes the children). As a parent, it does concern me that a vast majority of providers (as interpreted from the variety of comments made on this site) group all parents into the same wastebasket....a basket for the worthless, irritating, thankless, and dishonest parents that have come across your paths whether occasionally or regularly. It frustrates me that providers hold parents at a higher standard than themselves and that the worse is automatically assumed of the parent.

I have only cared for three families & of the three I cared for two of them did things I would NEVER consider doing. I also WOH part-time after I had kids so I have been on both sides of the boat so to speak. And yes two of these sets of parents met the description you typed above to a certain degree. They were disrespectful to me (would not pick up at closing time) on MANY occasions, would never tell me of schedule changes that affected my day, never thanked me for gifts I got for the kids & I had to often ask for my pay. I just know when I was working outside the home I always had my check ready for my provider, always was on time & usually early & I did things for my provider (bought her flowers on her birthday, gave her Christmas gifts, etc). Now I have another set of parents & I ADORE them. I have yet to complain about them. The mom sends me notes telling me about schedule changes, they have picked up early EVERY day & she has already given me her schedule for the fall (Wow, 3 months on advance!!!). These are the dream parents. What you don't realize is the reason you see so many BAD posts so-to-speak is because as providers we post about the bad ones b/c we need help knowing how to deal with them. We don't need help with the good parents so they unfortunately don't get mentioned as often.

[sahm2three]

The reason I said I wondered if he wasn't feeling well before is because I actually commented that his eyes didn't look right when she dropped him off. Mom didn't really say anything about it. So I wondered if maybe he had complained before. But all is well, because he was picked up!

[Janet]

Um...OK

To Aya, I believe that the point of the original post was about being frustrated with not being able to reach the parent of the sick child. I really don't like being put in that position myself and I can imagine that no other providers on this board like it either. I am a mother as well as a daycare provider, so I think that having experience in the role of a WOH mother and a daycare provider gives me a perspective on a the OP's situation. I always made sure that my provider could reach me or my husband when our daughter was in daycare. There is absolutely no reason that a parent can't be reached with all of the electronic devices that everyone seems to have these days! Both myself and my husband were accessible throughout the day and this was during a time when neither of us had cellphones or pagers or anything else other than a phone number at our workplaces to reach us at.

Yes, it's true that I hold my daycare children & parents to a high standard, but they hold me to a high standard as well. That's a good thing, though. I'm thankful that I have families that have high expectations of me because it shows me that they really care about the level of care that I provide for their children. I think that they are glad that I have high expectations of them as well because I believe that shows them that I approach my role as a provider very seriously and they know that I am helping their children build strong foundations from which they will continue to grow from after they've aged out of my daycare. I have had families in the past that didn't either didn't have any regard for my policies or had expectations that were outside of what I offer. In either case, none of those families are with me any longer and in every case, it was me who ended the business relationship.

The families that are currently in my care are all wonderful. They trust me and they are all very happy with the care that I provide to their children. I love that they honor the policies that I have set and they take in interest in what their children learn with me.

Sometimes providers and families will hit a rough patch with each other and will complain about each other. It happens all of the time. We all get mad at some point, but we work it out one way or another. If I have a gripe about a parent you can rest assured that if it's something that I vent about here, I will most definitely have addressed it with the parents or the child.

Out of curiosity, are you a daycare provider?

[Aya477]

To Janet:
Yep, the original purpose was to ask how long she should wait. I recognize that but it also sparked my curiosity (again) as to why it is typically assumed that the parents knew their child was sick from Op's comments and the following poster's remark. I can't think of a single thread in any forum that always stays on topic just as others reminded OP to state her sick policy again (as if the parent did something wrong) or if OP even asked for advice on the sick policy. No need to point that out to me.

I don't know anything about the child the OP referred to or his/her parents. I am ALWAYS on the phone or in a meeting at work, and likely may not be able to return a message from my provider timely. On occasion, I will leave my cell out in the car to charge if I forgot to do so overnight and thus would not be reached on an "electronic device". Nor would I answer my cell phone if I were on the phone with a client or in a meeting. My hubby is rarely in his office and calling his cell is futile as well because he is involved in events with clients for his job 4/5 days a week. So if by chance he and I were involved in something at work and unavailable when our provider calls, we would also be talked about, huh?

I am a parent but I don't know how that is relevant. I do not have to be a provider or ever have been a provider to understand the need for mutual respect. But if it is important to you, then I will tell you that I have never been a provider (and do not desire to be) and can give you a parent-only perspective. Because of atrocious experiences with my son's childcare, I only wish I could give the closed minded providers a perspective from a parent that would enlighten them to change their mentality.

So you may not be one of those providers who routinely complain or rather complain to everyone else except the person who is the source of aggravation. But clearly there are those here.

I believe someone else commented on the site being for providers who are asking eachother for advice. I see that just as in an equal percentage see others complaining about parents and children.

[nannyde]

As a parent, it does concern me that a vast majority of providers (as interpreted from the variety of comments made on this site) group all parents into the same wastebasket....a basket for the worthless, irritating, thankless, and dishonest parents that have come across your paths whether occasionally or regularly. It frustrates me that providers hold parents at a higher standard than themselves and that the worse is automatically assumed of the parent.

I guess you have to do day care for a bit to get it. I think most of us have had many many many situations where parents intentionally bring their sick child to day care knowing full welll that the day care policies prohibit the child from coming.

I think most of us have had MANY times when children are being doped with tylenol and advil to mask their fevers as the fever is the number one indicator of health and is easily measurable and exact.

I think most of us have had parents lie to us either by omission, minimazation, or a directly about their child's health. We have had kids brought to us who are CLEARLY ill and been told that they have been perfectly fine without ANY illness whatsoever or the illness symptoms that can't be hidden are atrributed to allergies, ear infection, blocked tear ducts, and teething.

I think most providers have had parents who care completely about the health of the other children in the day care BEFORE their child is sick but care nothing about them AFTER their child gets sick.

I think most providers have had many situations where parents knowingly bring their ill child and then refuse to answer any phone calls or messages that will confirm the child is ill and the child has to be removed from day care.

I think most providers have had many situations where parents take off many days off for vacation and personal days and bring their child during most if not all of it but then claim they don't have any paid days to take off when their own child is sick. We rarely see any kind of planning for the inevitable illness young children will have.

If you think the state of current parenting is good you are wrong. Yes there are always some parents out there who do the right thing most of the time but as a veteran of 31 years in child care, I can assure you that population is dwindling to the point of near extinction. We have all lived long enough and cared for children long enough to know there are exceptions to the rule but they ARE indeed exceptions.

[nannyde]

I don't know anything about the child the OP referred to or his/her parents. I am ALWAYS on the phone or in a meeting at work, and likely may not be able to return a message from my provider timely. On occasion, I will leave my cell out in the car to charge if I forgot to do so overnight and thus would not be reached on an "electronic device". Nor would I answer my cell phone if I were on the phone with a client or in a meeting. My hubby is rarely in his office and calling his cell is futile as well because he is involved in events with clients for his job 4/5 days a week. So if by chance he and I were involved in something at work and unavailable when our provider calls, we would also be talked about, huh?

You would be at my house. How dare you forget to charge your cell phone? What the heck are you thinking when you have phone lines available yet your provider can't get thru to you? What the heck is that? Yes you would be talked about. That's rediculous.

I've been a parent for ten years and I can tell you that there hasn't been a single second that whoever has my kid can't get ahold of me. I keep my cell phone CHARGED when he's not with me. I keep a call waiting service so his school can beep thru if they need me. YES you need to be available every second. Sheesh... we don't live in the 1800's. We have telephones and cell phones. NOT acceptable.

I am a parent but I don't know how that is relevant. I do not have to be a provider or ever have been a provider to understand the need for mutual respect. But if it is important to you, then I will tell you that I have never been a provider (and do not desire to be) and can give you a parent-only perspective. Because of atrocious experiences with my son's childcare, I only wish I could give the closed minded providers a perspective from a parent that would enlighten them to change their mentality.

Closed minded? Are you serious? How about this? If you or your representative who can authorize medical care and pick your child up when they are ill are NOT available immediately for notification and quickly for pick up then you have no business using child care. If you can't work it out that SOMEONE is immediately available then you should not leave your child in care.

You are not ENTITLED to have someone else deal with your sick kid while you are on the phone with a client. You are not ENTITLED to not keep your cell phone charged if that is the contact number left for the person caring for your kid.

And ya wonder why we complain about parents. Wonder no more.

[Crystal]

Perhaps there weren't several comments specifying the opinion that the parent knew in this particular thread, but in other threads the same logic has been expressed multiple times and I couldn't resist an inquiry.

I do understand that there are those parents that you regularly deal with that cause grief but more often than not, the posts on this site always point negatively to the parents (and sometimes the children). As a parent, it does concern me that a vast majority of providers (as interpreted from the variety of comments made on this site) group all parents into the same wastebasket....a basket for the worthless, irritating, thankless, and dishonest parents that have come across your paths whether occasionally or regularly. It frustrates me that providers hold parents at a higher standard than themselves and that the worse is automatically assumed of the parent.

Aya, I have to say, even as a provider, I agree with you. I feel it is completely unfair to lump all parents in the same category and to automatically assume that they are being neglectful. While we do all encounter issues with parents from time to time, it isn't fair to assume that because one parent did it to us two years ago, that ALL parents are guilty of the same.

I also cannot stand it when providers talk negatively about their families, and you're right, it does seem to happen alot. It's unprofessional and it makes me wonder how they stay in business....especially when it is on a public forum that any of their families could stumble across. But, alas, you will never get through to those who choose to do it

(OP, I am NOT directing that at you, I know you were just concerned about the child)

On another note, as a parent, you should make sure that your provider can reach you at a moments notice....in the event of an emergency, you would feel horrible if your child desperately needed you and you could not be reached.

[nannyde]

I also cannot stand it when providers talk negatively about their families, and you're right, it does seem to happen alot. It's unprofessional and it makes me wonder how they stay in business....especially when it is on a public forum that any of their families could stumble across. But, alas, you will never get through to those who choose to do it

Like this?

http://www.childcareprovidersunite.org/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1855

[Janet]

Aya477

To Janet:
Yep, the original purpose was to ask how long she should wait. I recognize that but it also sparked my curiosity (again) as to why it is typically assumed that the parents knew their child was sick from Op's comments and the following poster's remark. I can't think of a single thread in any forum that always stays on topic just as others reminded OP to state her sick policy again (as if the parent did something wrong) or if OP even asked for advice on the sick policy. No need to point that out to me.

I don't know anything about the child the OP referred to or his/her parents. I am ALWAYS on the phone or in a meeting at work, and likely may not be able to return a message from my provider timely. On occasion, I will leave my cell out in the car to charge if I forgot to do so overnight and thus would not be reached on an "electronic device". Nor would I answer my cell phone if I were on the phone with a client or in a meeting. My hubby is rarely in his office and calling his cell is futile as well because he is involved in events with clients for his job 4/5 days a week. So if by chance he and I were involved in something at work and unavailable when our provider calls, we would also be talked about, huh? There is NEVER a reason why a parent should not be available to reach in case of an emergency! There is no meeting that is too important to answer a call from your provider. So yes, if your provider has to wait for an hour to reach you when your child is sick, then you'd better believe that you would be talked about! Unless you have the gift of precognition, then you can't say with any degree of certainty that a call from your provider wouldn't be an emergency.
I am a parent but I don't know how that is relevant. I do not have to be a provider or ever have been a provider to understand the need for mutual respect. But if it is important to you, then I will tell you that I have never been a provider (and do not desire to be) and can give you a parent-only perspective. Because of atrocious experiences with my son's childcare, I only wish I could give the closed minded providers a perspective from a parent that would enlighten them to change their mentality. Seriously? You really believe that you can give us a different point of reference? You can't. Do you think that none of us has never has terrible daycare experiences? The experience that I had with a daycare that my daughter attended as an infant still makes me feel sick to this day! I'm not opposed to hearing what parents have to say. In fact, I like it. As far as the relevancy of my question is concerned, I would say that it's very relevant.
So you may not be one of those providers who routinely complain or rather complain to everyone else except the person who is the source of aggravation. But clearly there are those here.

I believe someone else commented on the site being for providers who are asking eachother for advice. I see that just as in an equal percentage see others complaining about parents and children.

Are you saying that you never feel the need to vent about your daycare? If that's the case, than God bless you, because you are one of a kind! Sometimes people just need to know that there is someone out there who can understand what they are experiencing. Sometimes just having someone to gripe to about a situation regarding a child or parent can release the negative energy that a person might be feeling. Sometimes just being able to express your feelings can help you see a situation from a completely different vantage point.

[Janet]

Crystal???????

Like this?

When you live in a glass house, it's really best not to throw stones. How are you any different? How are you any more professional that any other provider who has complaints about feeling disrespected? Just asking.


http://www.childcareprovidersunite.o...php?f=1&t=1855

Good catch, Nan.

[Vesta]

Thank you Janet.
We can talk with others about the good stuff.
Not supposed to be talk about the negative because it's unprofessional. We are expected to **** it up and drive on.
This forum helps. Stuff usually doesn't look so awful once it's written down and it's good just to get it off the chest instead of festering inside.
Bad feelings need an outlet and this forum is a safe place to let them out a bit.
It also is very helpful to know I'm not on this big old daycare boat all by myself and that others have been there, done that, lived through it, what changes they made to make sure it didn't happen again and OMG they did what!

[Crystal]

Like this?



http://www.childcareprovidersunite.o...php?f=1&t=1855

While that can be taken as talking negatively about families, I am not trashing families and saying that they lie to me, take advantage of me, use me, disrespect me, etc. THAT is what I see here all the time.

But, sure, like that. I'll admit, I have my moments, BUT, have you EVER seen me talk crap about all of my families and lump ALL parents into the same ball? No. Do providers here do that daily? Yes.

[Crystal]

Are you saying that you never feel the need to vent about your daycare? If that's the case, than God bless you, because you are one of a kind! Sometimes people just need to know that there is someone out there who can understand what they are experiencing. Sometimes just having someone to gripe to about a situation regarding a child or parent can release the negative energy that a person might be feeling. Sometimes just being able to express your feelings can help you see a situation from a completely different vantage point.

Oh, no, I definitely vent from time to time. But I usually use my assistant/hubby or a close friend as a sounding board. And, I usually do it with the intention of resolving issues, not just to vent and talk badly about people.

[nannyde]

While that can be taken as talking negatively about families, I am not trashing families and saying that they lie to me, take advantage of me, use me, disrespect me, etc. THAT is what I see here all the time.

But, sure, like that. I'll admit, I have my moments, BUT, have you EVER seen me talk crap about all of my families and lump ALL parents into the same ball? No. Do providers here do that daily? Yes.

You accused your parents of IGNORING their children and only meeting their basic needs. I think that's a heck of a lot stronger than saying a parent lied to a provider about a child's health.

Now, I started thinking, if these children are basically being ignored when with family, except to meet basic needs and be supplied with extra stuff to amuse them while mom and Dad live their own lives, how does it effect their behavior?

So yeah... you are in the same realm as other posters here. That's talking "crap". You were just telling the truth in that post.

Some of us use this board to vent.
Some of us use this board to teach.
Some of us use this board to learn.
Some of us use this board to advertise their business when they are low on kids.

[Crystal]

LOL! After thinking about it, I relaized that nanny had to read through HUNDREDS of posts to find that! ! Hope you had fun!

BTW, I blocked guest access to my forum. If you'd like to read the post Nanny linked to, feel free to pm me ad I'll send it to you, or register on the forum and you can see ALL of my posts, where you will find very little in the way of my ever being unprofessional.