Would You?

[Countrygal]

I hear a lot about getting the type of families that fit in your program. How do you accomplish this? How do you get to the point where you have families that really "fit" with your philosophies and style?

Do you ever start a family and then stop during the probation period if they are not "fitting" and you have another family wanting their spot?

What do you do? How do you accomplish this?

I am extremely blessed to have one dcf who fits in perfectly with my philosophies and style. We get along great, support each other's efforts, listen when the other talks and share solutions. Is it wrong to want all of my parents to be like this? Is it a pipe dream?

[daycare]

I hear a lot about getting the type of families that fit in your program. How do you accomplish this? How do you get to the point where you have families that really "fit" with your philosophies and style?

Do you ever start a family and then stop during the probation period if they are not "fitting" and you have another family wanting their spot?

What do you do? How do you accomplish this?

I am extremely blessed to have one dcf who fits in perfectly with my philosophies and style. We get along great, support each other's efforts, listen when the other talks and share solutions. Is it wrong to want all of my parents to be like this? Is it a pipe dream?

exactly what you said, but I think what is key is that during the interview process you are able to interview the family just like they are doing to you. Ask them questions about their child that are important to your program. Get a good feel for the parents based on questions you ask them.

in the start be clear about your rules, expectations and policies with the parents. If you see that the parents question or disagree with your rules, PHB, then you will know it's not a good fit.

I really pay a lot of attention to the parents responses during the 2-week trial, than the child. Why because in the end it all comes down to the parents and if they are on the same page as you or not. It takes both parties to help guide and bring up our future citizens. We can't change the parents, but we can help change the child and if the parent is not on board with you, well then you could just be at a loss with the whole situation.

[Countrygal]

exactly what you said, but I think what is key is that during the interview process you are able to interview the family just like they are doing to you. Ask them questions about their child that are important to your program. Get a good feel for the parents based on questions you ask them.

in the start be clear about your rules, expectations and policies with the parents. If you see that the parents question or disagree with your rules, PHB, then you will know it's not a good fit.

I really pay a lot of attention to the parents responses during the 2-week trial, than the child. Why because in the end it all comes down to the parents and if they are on the same page as you or not. It takes both parties to help guide and bring up our future citizens. We can't change the parents, but we can help change the child and if the parent is not on board with you, well then you could just be at a loss with the whole situation.

I am nearing the end of a two week trial, and it has already been very HARD. (The parents, not the kids). In fact, I like the kids, but I am thinking that the parents just have too many issues and that it will only end in heartache for me and the kids. Soooooo torn. Everyone is giving such good advice. I just need to borrow some of those feelings of the 4yo who is pretending to be a guy!!!! I am way too soft sometimes (too hard at others....) There ARE things I won't compromise on, but they are very few. I know I need to get (not harder) but firmer.

[daycare]

I am nearing the end of a two week trial, and it has already been very HARD. (The parents, not the kids). In fact, I like the kids, but I am thinking that the parents just have too many issues and that it will only end in heartache for me and the kids. Soooooo torn. Everyone is giving such good advice. I just need to borrow some of those feelings of the 4yo who is pretending to be a guy!!!! I am way too soft sometimes (too hard at others....) There ARE things I won't compromise on, but they are very few. I know I need to get (not harder) but firmer.

are they things that affect your mood daily that it is affecting your ability to run a good program?

Is it something that you think you can work out with the parents if you were to sit and talk?

[Countrygal]

are they things that affect your mood daily that it is affecting your ability to run a good program?

Is it something that you think you can work out with the parents if you were to sit and talk?

I have another thread about just a FEW of the issues and the situation. It's called "I'm struggling". I just was really wondering exactly HOw people do this.... I feel like I am committed and shouldn't back out, even though we are still in the trial period..... There were/are other issues that make me question whether I will get paid.... UGH!

If you do end a family at the end of the trial period, what do you say and how do you handle it? I have not had to do this before.

[daycare]

I have another thread about just a FEW of the issues and the situation. It's called "I'm struggling". I just was really wondering exactly HOw people do this.... I feel like I am committed and shouldn't back out, even though we are still in the trial period..... There were/are other issues that make me question whether I will get paid.... UGH!

If you do end a family at the end of the trial period, what do you say and how do you handle it? I have not had to do this before.

well you can do a few different things.

you can tell the parents what the issues are and how you feel they can be fixed, seeing if they are on board with it. or come up with a plan together to see if you can fix them together. Also at this time, extend your trail period for another two weeks. If you see no progress in the end, then let them go.

or you can just tell the parents that you feel that it is not going to work out./ That you feel you tried all that you could, thank them for the opportunity and say good-bye.

don't feel bad if it does not work out. The thing is, is that you tried, you did not fail. We can't possibly be a match for every family/child.

[texascare]

I would suggest meeting with the parents at the end of the trial period and asking how they are liking it and then tell them your worries. I have had parents interview just great and a year later had to term because it got so bad. They ended up being totally different than what I thought. More demanding, yelling at me, insulting the other children here, and I had enough. So it still happens that seasoned providers have this happen to them as well. If there is a trial period the now is the time to let them go. Better to do it now than still be in the situation 6 months from now and it just blow up. Share your concerns and see how they take it and go from there!

[Heidi]

Well, I know one issue for you is that you only have so many spaces, too. So, it's risky sending someone packing before you get someone else in place, but you can't take the new children unless you say BYE to the first ones...

You have a gut feeling about this. If it's not meshing, then tell them. "I'm sorry, but this is not a good fit. I want you to be happy, Johnny to be happy, and our family to be happy. That's not happening now. "

Don't expect them to come back the next day...but IT"S OKAY!!!!!

[Countrygal]

Yeah, it's what I probably need to do. They really don't want my kind of care anyway, they were fine with "babysitters" - just can't find one with their hours. So, I don't actually think they'd be here that long - just until they find cheaper care.

Thanks so much everyone for putting this all inperspective! I feel like such a Wuss!!! Thank you for the advice and support!

[daycare]

Yeah, it's what I probably need to do. They really don't want my kind of care anyway, they were fine with "babysitters" - just can't find one with their hours. So, I don't actually think they'd be here that long - just until they find cheaper care.

Thanks so much everyone for putting this all inperspective! I feel like such a Wuss!!! Thank you for the advice and support!

as a provider, i think its in our nature to be givers and as a women we want nothing more than to provide for all children. BUT we can't. we can only try and if it does not work out, then we can't blame anyone for it. It is what it is....

I am so sorry that you are going through this, I think that if you let go, you might be much happier and have less drama...

GL to you and what you decide to do...

[My3cents]

Yeah, it's what I probably need to do. They really don't want my kind of care anyway, they were fine with "babysitters" - just can't find one with their hours. So, I don't actually think they'd be here that long - just until they find cheaper care.

Thanks so much everyone for putting this all inperspective! I feel like such a Wuss!!! Thank you for the advice and support!

your not a wuss! Your just caught up in it. I get like this, I know what to do, I know what is right but then implementing it is another story.

they are looking for cheap let them keep on looking and find another client that will appreciate all that you do and you can be more on the same field with.

Getting good families is about interviewing, open communication, and not settling for anything that walks through the door. No one is perfect but having some ground to stand on can make for better relationships.

Best-

[Countrygal]

Thank you so much everyone for your advice and pep talks! They are exactly what I need! {{{HUGS}}}