New DCP With Needy Family...Advice Please!

[Unregistered]

I completely agree I should have terminated immediately, but I didn't decide to until after he left. Now I feel 2 weeks are in order but immediate if it happens again. Looks like a family of 3 might leave if this happens which I was worried about. She says today that she totally understand bites and bruises from daycare because kids are learning to express themselves. I'm so peeved parents would say that because I would be livid if my kids came home from daycare with the welts they had from being smacked in temples.I'm upset that any of this is happening. Parent may say it's fine and dandy...unless her infants noise got brokebecause kids were "learnig to express themselves". I mean nose, phone is acting up! I was thinking that the age sounded like a commitment as well and had changed it. I like all of your suggestions. Thank you so much

[Blackcat31]

I completely agree I should have terminated immediately, but I didn't decide to until after he left. Now I feel 2 weeks are in order but immediate if it happens again. Looks like a family of 3 might leave if this happens which I was worried about. She says today that she totally understand bites and bruises from daycare because kids are learning to express themselves. I'm so peeved parents would say that because I would be livid if my kids came home from daycare with the welts they had from being smacked in temples.I'm upset that any of this is happening. Parent may say it's fine and dandy...unless her infants noise got brokebecause kids were "learnig to express themselves". I mean nose, phone is acting up! I was thinking that the age sounded like a commitment as well and had changed it. I like all of your suggestions. Thank you so much

This family of 3 might leave if you term this violent family? or leave if they mean kids hit again?

I also understand you wanting to give two weeks notice, but I would consider adding in a claus to cover another incident such as giving the two weeks notice but if ANY of the kids hits or touches another child, they will need to go IMMEDIATLEY without any further delay. Your obligation should always be the safety of ALL children first and foremost.

I think you can walk away from this whole thing once it is over and feel good that you did what you could and aren't part of enabling this dad to allow his children to continue behaving in such a negative manner. Hang in there...this kind of stuff is always tough.

[Unregistered]

Might leave if I term violent family. I agree everybodys safety trumps a family's need and one other family s views. I might be left with 2 kids after this is over but it will have been the right decision. The immediate termination bit will be added no doubt about it.

[Willow]

Just want to chime in with my support. I've been operating in a very small town for a year now and I totally get it.....and I sympathize with you immensely. Just know, you are absolutely doing the right thing, even if it's hard to see through the fear of social reprocussions.


If another of your families wants to leave due to your decision to terminate then let them. Stand firm. It is not at all normal for kids to get pummeled and bit up at daycare. If that's what they expect let them bring their child elsewhere, I would be very punchy about my stance - "THAT IS NOT ALLOWED TO HAPPEN TO CHILDREN HERE - if you want to subject your child to violence like that there's the door."

Do not look back and do not feel bad. You deserve far more respect than that, demand it, especially if you've got a reputation you're trying to form in your town. What's the worst she could say? "Daycare provider won't let another child punch my child in the head.....such unreasonable expectations...." I'm not even sure I'd know how to respond if someone ever came to me with such a complaint. It's beyond laughable, and on some level disturbing as heck too. If anything, people will hear of your "unreasonable expectations" and come FLOCKING!


If the mother insists or puts up any more of a fuss suggest SHE take the kids into HER home. It's always so easy to judge someone else when you've never once been in their shoes.


Stay strong!!!!

[Unregistered]

Due to a series of unfortunate events the termination letter was not given until today, the family has until 18th to find alternate care. Parent comes to pick up at end of day asking if I tried setting them in front of a tv...which turned to tears and begging me just to set them in front of the tv all day. My decision before opening was to not offer a tv at all. And if I bring in a tv the only place I can put it is in my office and then the kids are not in my line of site and my records would be in jeapordy. Anyways, I just dont offer it.i would have to get atv, a video player of sorts, lots of videos to keep them busy, and a couch and stuff to make it comfortable.thats a lot of money and it won't fix the problem. The moment we turn tv off, we a have problem again...plus other kids will beg to watch...and since our playground is not right outside, getting them away from tv so we can go outside will be a problem. I know I need to stand my ground, but I feel bad too. Am I wrong to not provide tv to this family to avoid their kids hitting the others?btw afterdad left, one punched my child in the temple again...he chased him playfully, I asked thenmto stop runningthen he caught my son and punched him, totally unprovoked. Omg.

[MaritimeMummy]

Am I wrong to not provide tv to this family to avoid their kids hitting the others?.

Um, no. You are not wrong at all. Your daycare, your rules. I can't imagine any reputable place of care would allow tv as a means of "distracting" a child. If you don't allow a tv, that's your rule, you don't allow a tv. Parents should not be trying to convince you to buy one, OMG. This dad is just oozing with audacity, with everything that you've said, from him using your phone and saying that people can call there for him, as though you were working for him in an office...good grief. I would have presented dad with a lovely IMMEDIATE term letter the day after he pulled the phone bit. If he had asked me to buy a tv, I would have said something to the effect of, "I can see that this care situation is not going to work out, I am releasing you effective immediately, I wish you all the best".

[Unregistered]

"No" is a complete sentence.

"That doesn't work for me" is a legitimate answer, as well as "Regulations do not allow that."

"This isn't a good for us, and I wish you the best of luck."

Honey, he's begging and crying because he knows no one else will take his kids -- because of HIM, really. No one else will put up with all the stuff the father does, never mind about the kids. They could be the best, easiest, most mild-mannered kids ever and the father is still a huge problem.

Remember, this is a business. You have the right to create and enforce rules, both for safety and your peace of mind.

[Logged Out for Privacy]

I just wanted to give an update. I did have the father sign a termination letter, he did beg me to change my program for him, I redirected him like a child and reminded him he needed to get going, the very next day was his last day. I no longer care for any of the children. I have been completely stress-free in my daycare, the children are getting more one-on-one attention and I can actually leave sensory materials out (with the other children I could not at all, I couldn't believe how much playdough was everywhere the one time I let them use it...how can children so old be so oblivious to mess?). I'm glad I stood my ground. I do have some community tension, mainly from one person...she came in on their last day (in the middle of nap time and grumpy as can be) asking for their things and said nothing more. She shoots me some dirty looks, but I just hold my head high. Some people have been asking, and I just say they are going elsewhere. I still have my other families. The one I was afraid would leave hasn't said a word, and I haven't said anything to her about it, I'm sure she has figured it out. So, the short of it is...it has turned out just fine so far.

[Blackcat31]

I just wanted to give an update. I did have the father sign a termination letter, he did beg me to change my program for him, I redirected him like a child and reminded him he needed to get going, the very next day was his last day. I no longer care for any of the children. I have been completely stress-free in my daycare, the children are getting more one-on-one attention and I can actually leave sensory materials out (with the other children I could not at all, I couldn't believe how much playdough was everywhere the one time I let them use it...how can children so old be so oblivious to mess?). I'm glad I stood my ground. I do have some community tension, mainly from one person...she came in on their last day (in the middle of nap time and grumpy as can be) asking for their things and said nothing more. She shoots me some dirty looks, but I just hold my head high. Some people have been asking, and I just say they are going elsewhere. I still have my other families. The one I was afraid would leave hasn't said a word, and I haven't said anything to her about it, I'm sure she has figured it out. So, the short of it is...it has turned out just fine so far.

Glad to hear that this has worked out well. It is also nice to hear that you are enjoying your stress-free days now as well.

[cheerfuldom]

you did the right thing OP!!

[e.j.]

Somehow I missed your original post and the replies that came after. I am so happy to see your latest update and feel relieved for you! I'm glad it has worked out so well. I guess it's a lesson to all of us to stand our ground and do the right thing for our families and our businesses. I bet you look forward to going to work now instead of dreading it.happyface

[lovemykidstoo]

I just wanted to give an update. I did have the father sign a termination letter, he did beg me to change my program for him, I redirected him like a child and reminded him he needed to get going, the very next day was his last day. I no longer care for any of the children. I have been completely stress-free in my daycare, the children are getting more one-on-one attention and I can actually leave sensory materials out (with the other children I could not at all, I couldn't believe how much playdough was everywhere the one time I let them use it...how can children so old be so oblivious to mess?). I'm glad I stood my ground. I do have some community tension, mainly from one person...she came in on their last day (in the middle of nap time and grumpy as can be) asking for their things and said nothing more. She shoots me some dirty looks, but I just hold my head high. Some people have been asking, and I just say they are going elsewhere. I still have my other families. The one I was afraid would leave hasn't said a word, and I haven't said anything to her about it, I'm sure she has figured it out. So, the short of it is...it has turned out just fine so far.

Good for you!!!! I have an idea. How about the woman that is giving you grief over this family start taking care of those kids and dealing with that father. See how she likes it.

[momofthree211614]

I had to do it once as well it's not easy, but he and his family weren't a good fit for your program