Less Flexible?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I was very flexible for awhile. It was burning me out and making me feel taken advantage of. Now I feel almost INFLEXIBLE, the polar opposite. I am at the point where it's (most of the time) my way or the highway.

This is not who I wanted to be, but I have found that this works best for me. With 10+ children it is important that this place is MY place. Not a place run by the parents. I can't keep up with it all when it is. My husband said that the parents are bound to get mad at some of my new policies (ex: diapers/wipes must be provided by the specified deadline and if they are not a $20.00 fee will be charged in order to pay for the gas, time, and expense of buying a pack from Walgreens ... said in "better language").

I guess I'm learning that I can't make everybody happy, but I can do my best to keep my business MY business.

[Country Kids]

I find myself burning out real fast when I'm inflexible. Its to much to keep up with 10 families and trying to police everyone.

I slowly work on one thing at a time and then when we master it we go on to the next thing.

Wipes-newsletters, reminders, text messages, white board messages, etc. Then work on it for a month. When the next month comes same thing with the next problem your having.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I just revised my Parent Handbook and gave it to all of the parents. I think working on one issue at a time may be the way to go. It is actually more difficult to keep up with everyone's everything all of the time (X needs this, Y does that, Z needs to keep this, etc.) than it is to make uniform rules.

[Countrygal]

Thanks so much for this thread!!! It is exactly what I needed right now. I'm feeling like this and also feeling like a heel, because new families have a terrible time, it seems, understanding that I am not here to take care of THEM, but to take care of their children in the best way I can..... Two out of five families that I have had have left or are considering leaving because I won't dance for them and bend and break the rules here. (Or for their kids). UGH! Thanks for posting this!!!

[julie]

Oh, I so know what you mean. I started out in this business SO nice, SO flexible. And people quickly took advantage. Now, when I have new families and we have the sit down to go over the contract, I make a point to let them know that every term in my contract has actually happened. Therefore, I had to add something to prevent it from happening again, unfortunately. And I know that they would never do something like this, but to understand that there are unfortunately some people out there and that is why some terms are in my contract. I like it because I still come off as super nice, but I also enforce the terms and send the message that people DO get termed for pulling crap. So far it has worked out well for me.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Thanks so much for this thread!!! It is exactly what I needed right now. I'm feeling like this and also feeling like a heel, because new families have a terrible time, it seems, understanding that I am not here to take care of THEM, but to take care of their children in the best way I can..... Two out of five families that I have had have left or are considering leaving because I won't dance for them and bend and break the rules here. (Or for their kids). UGH! Thanks for posting this!!!

Do not lose hope. We lost 1 family because they could not manipulate us. They sure did try the 5 weeks they were here, though. The funny thing is they knew our rules upon signing on but then thought they could change them. They would phrase things like, "I know you said XYZ, but could you ABC?" "I'm sorry, but no we cannot."
They believe that we are still wonderful despite not being able to/not wanting to bend to their desires.

Business is business. Don't feel bad for knowing your boundaries and sticking by them for your own sanity. I don't.

If a family approaches me respectfully and I can see the validity of what they are saying they need (and I feel like I can accommodate) then I say yes. Otherwise, I say no.