How to Cure Biting

[daycare]

ok so i searched biting, but only came up with a million post about kids that have gotten bitten at daycare. I have never ever had a bitter, mostly because I don't do younger ages.

today I sat and WATCHED (I still can't believe it happen right in front of my eyes)
one of my daycare kids bite the other one.

I intervened very quickly and firmly told the bitter NO. I then took the bitten child out of the room and made she they were ok.

I did separate the bitter by placing them in the pack and play. What else can I do? How can I prevent it? I am feeling horrible right now.

Also, the bite was not that bad at all thank goodness, however, both parents will be informed....

any advice please?

[clep]

I used to have a biter and it was quite severe. We tried several methods but none worked. The child doesn't bite anymore, but she seems to still grind her teeth and have an oral reaction to anger or frustration.

In the end after trying everything, I shadowed her and when she went to bite a child, I would catch her arm so she didn't get the chance. Then I would gently press her arm or hand on her teeth so she started to understand they were hard and sharp. It didn't hurt her, just allowed her to gain an new understanding.

She quit soon after.

[Blackcat31]

I give parents this handout:

BITING

B BE AWARE of your child’s biting signals. Notice what usually happens right before the child bites. Children bite because they are frustrated and act on their feelings rather than use their words to tell you what they want or don’t want. Try to correct the situation before the child feels the need to bite. Physically stop a child about to bite by moving them away from the other child.

I IMITATION can cause a child to bite. Some children copy kissing and bite instead. Some children have been bitten and see other children bite and copy that behavior to see what will happen. NEVER bite a child back or make another child bite them back. This is confusing to children and teaches them that biting is something OK to do. Beware saying to children ”you are so sweet I could just eat you up...” This is also confusing to children.

T TEACH children that “food is for biting, people are not for biting”. Teach other children to say “No” in a loud voice if they think they are about to be bit.

I INVESTIGATE the situation and see what is stressing the children and causing the biting. Crowding, too much noise and activity, too many things that have to be shared all can cause aggressive behavior and biting.

N NOTHNG lasts forever. All young children go through this tough time. This will pass, especially when children learn to talk and use words to tell people what they want and don’t want. Biting usually slows down when children learn to talk. Teaching toddlers sign language helps some children’s frustration.

G GIVE children words to say. Such as “I want that.... “. Teach them way to tell another child” No” or “Stop”. Teach children simple sign language.


Hope that helps. Remember it is NOT your fault or due to lack of supervision. The one biting incident I had happend while I was holding a child. Another DCG went in for what I thought was a hug and bit the child I was holding. It happens.

The focus now should be on prevention and education for not only the biter, but the other children and the parents.

[daycare]

I give parents this handout:

BITING

B BE AWARE of your child’s biting signals. Notice what usually happens right before the child bites. Children bite because they are frustrated and act on their feelings rather than use their words to tell you what they want or don’t want. Try to correct the situation before the child feels the need to bite. Physically stop a child about to bite by moving them away from the other child.

I IMITATION can cause a child to bite. Some children copy kissing and bite instead. Some children have been bitten and see other children bite and copy that behavior to see what will happen. NEVER bite a child back or make another child bite them back. This is confusing to children and teaches them that biting is something OK to do. Beware saying to children ”you are so sweet I could just eat you up...” This is also confusing to children.

T TEACH children that “food is for biting, people are not for biting”. Teach other children to say “No” in a loud voice if they think they are about to be bit.

I INVESTIGATE the situation and see what is stressing the children and causing the biting. Crowding, too much noise and activity, too many things that have to be shared all can cause aggressive behavior and biting.

N NOTHNG lasts forever. All young children go through this tough time. This will pass, especially when children learn to talk and use words to tell people what they want and don’t want. Biting usually slows down when children learn to talk. Teaching toddlers sign language helps some children’s frustration.

G GIVE children words to say. Such as “I want that.... “. Teach them way to tell another child” No” or “Stop”. Teach children simple sign language.


Hope that helps. Remember it is NOT your fault or due to lack of supervision. The one biting incident I had happend while I was holding a child. Another DCG went in for what I thought was a hug and bit the child I was holding. It happens.

The focus now should be on prevention and education for not only the biter, but the other children and the parents.

.3 words.............

I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Blackcat31]

.3 words.............

I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lovethis right back at ya

[saved4always]

I feel for you....biting is such a hard one because it is often done out of frustration on the part of the biter and it can leave an awful mark that so upsets parents of the child who was bitten.

I have had a few biters when I did childcare in my home. The last one was about 1 1/2 and could not express himself verbally. He always picked the same child to bite. I started "shadowing" the biter. Especially when he was with his usual victim (2 yo dcg). I found in watching them closely that the dcg was always in dcb's space...she did not know the meaning of "personal space". She would crowd him out of areas where he wanted to play and she would take his toys. She would also push him to take the toys. I actually fixed his biting by stopping her behaviour before it led him to bite, kwim? My previous biter was a 2 yo who bit this same dcg. Kind of see a trend here? I can't remember how we stopped that one. I do know that in both cases, the parents of the biter really worked with them at home to stress not biting. I know the 1 1/2 yo's mom and dad were very concerned and even read him books about "no biting". When I couldn't stop the bite at the pass, I would put the biter in time out and make a big fuss over the one who was bitten (ice and hugs, etc.). Both boys did the biting for very short times but it was super stressful during it. Parents whose child is bitten have a very hard time since it does make such an awful looking, teeth shaped mark. Once I realized why the dcb was biting, while I was apologizing to dcg's parents, I also told them what thier child was doing that seemed to "cause" the biting. I didn't want them to think he was just walking up an biting her.

I hope that this is just an isolated incident for you with this little one. Unfortunately, short of keeping the biter in a seperate envirionment, there is no way to guarantee he won't bite again. Shadowing takes a lot of effort and is not foolproof either (we gotta go to the bathroom, right?!), but stopping the biting before it happens is best. Eyes in the back of your head would be helful, too.

[saved4always]

I give parents this handout:

BITING

B BE AWARE of your child’s biting signals. Notice what usually happens right before the child bites. Children bite because they are frustrated and act on their feelings rather than use their words to tell you what they want or don’t want. Try to correct the situation before the child feels the need to bite. Physically stop a child about to bite by moving them away from the other child.

I IMITATION can cause a child to bite. Some children copy kissing and bite instead. Some children have been bitten and see other children bite and copy that behavior to see what will happen. NEVER bite a child back or make another child bite them back. This is confusing to children and teaches them that biting is something OK to do. Beware saying to children ”you are so sweet I could just eat you up...” This is also confusing to children.

T TEACH children that “food is for biting, people are not for biting”. Teach other children to say “No” in a loud voice if they think they are about to be bit.

I INVESTIGATE the situation and see what is stressing the children and causing the biting. Crowding, too much noise and activity, too many things that have to be shared all can cause aggressive behavior and biting.

N NOTHNG lasts forever. All young children go through this tough time. This will pass, especially when children learn to talk and use words to tell people what they want and don’t want. Biting usually slows down when children learn to talk. Teaching toddlers sign language helps some children’s frustration.

G GIVE children words to say. Such as “I want that.... “. Teach them way to tell another child” No” or “Stop”. Teach children simple sign language.


Hope that helps. Remember it is NOT your fault or due to lack of supervision. The one biting incident I had happend while I was holding a child. Another DCG went in for what I thought was a hug and bit the child I was holding. It happens.

The focus now should be on prevention and education for not only the biter, but the other children and the parents.

This is very cool. I wish I would have had this when I was dealing with my biters. At that time, I had not yet discovered this awesome forum of fellow childcare providers.

[SilverSabre25]

So far my best solutions are impossible. It would involve duct taping his mouth shut and mailing him to Abu Dhabi.

Or hiring him out as a shark.

Or possibly getting his mouth certified as a military grade weapon.

(THOSE ARE JOKES!!! For clarification, this is my 14 mo son I'm talking about and he's SUCH a biter. I have no useful advice, have gotten scads of useLESS advice, and basically I have to wait it out. Pray that he outgrows it soon.)

Most of his biting is due to teething, as far as I can tell. When he has a tooth about to pop through the biting is escalated. Except now he's also learned to bite out of anger and when he wants attention.

Blackcat, love your Biting hand out. May I use it?

[daycare]

I think I pee my pants...... hahahahahhahahahahhah

that is too funny.

So sorry to hear that about your son.. I will keep my finger crossed for you that it gets better soon....

[Blackcat31]

Blackcat, love your Biting hand out. May I use it?

Absolutely! I "stole" it a while back from the Dallas, TX Association for Parent Education. They have some really neat handouts that are simple and easy for provider and/or parents to use.

Here is another example: This one is for Tantrums:

T TEMPER TAMTRUMS are not under a child’s control. Never punish, spank or threaten a child experiencing the frightening energy of temper tantrums.

A ACCEPT the fact that tantrums are common for most young children. Tantrums are not a reflection of you.

N NORMAL behavior for toddlers and preschoolers. They have very few words to express their feelings and very short attention spans. They live in the “here and now” and have a hard time waiting.

T TIRED, hungry, teething children, and those put in adult environments, are more likely to lose control and throw a temper tantrum.

R RELEASE of frustration (not hostility) is usually the cause of temper tantrums. Helplessness and stress are powerful emotions. Children need a way to express themselves.

U YOU stay clam no matter how upset the child becomes. Show the child ways to handle frustration through your own calm actions.

M MOVE an upset toddler or preschooler to a quiet, calm place and stay within sight until they calm down. It is sometimes helpful to reassure the child gently or hold her calmly until the child quiets.

S SAY what you think a child may be feeling. Put into words what the child can’t, such as:

• “I know you don’t want to leave now.”
• “You sound very angry.”
• “I know you want this now . . .”
• “It looks like you are feeling sad . . .”

....and just in case you want to use any of their awesome handouts, here is the link to the site http://www.dallasparents.org/printables.html

[daycare]

Absolutely! I "stole" it a while back from the Dallas, TX Association for Parent Education. They have some really neat handouts that are simple and easy for provider and/or parents to use.

Here is another example: This one is for Tantrums:

T TEMPER TAMTRUMS are not under a child’s control. Never punish, spank or threaten a child experiencing the frightening energy of temper tantrums.

A ACCEPT the fact that tantrums are common for most young children. Tantrums are not a reflection of you.

N NORMAL behavior for toddlers and preschoolers. They have very few words to express their feelings and very short attention spans. They live in the “here and now” and have a hard time waiting.

T TIRED, hungry, teething children, and those put in adult environments, are more likely to lose control and throw a temper tantrum.

R RELEASE of frustration (not hostility) is usually the cause of temper tantrums. Helplessness and stress are powerful emotions. Children need a way to express themselves.

U YOU stay clam no matter how upset the child becomes. Show the child ways to handle frustration through your own calm actions.

M MOVE an upset toddler or preschooler to a quiet, calm place and stay within sight until they calm down. It is sometimes helpful to reassure the child gently or hold her calmly until the child quiets.

S SAY what you think a child may be feeling. Put into words what the child can’t, such as:

• “I know you don’t want to leave now.”
• “You sound very angry.”
• “I know you want this now . . .”
• “It looks like you are feeling sad . . .”

....and just in case you want to use any of their awesome handouts, here is the link to the site http://www.dallasparents.org/printables.html

cat.....seriously you have all the tricks in your bag....AWESOME

thank you again again again!!!!!!!!

[SilverSabre25]

Thank you so much Blackcat!

Daycare, so glad I could provide you with some humor for your day. Believe me, it felt good to write those :P Catharsis ftw!

[daycare]

Thank you so much Blackcat!

Daycare, so glad I could provide you with some humor for your day. Believe me, it felt good to write those :P Catharsis ftw!

yes it was much needed.... I hardly ever feel stressed about much when it comes to the kids, but the biting thing threw me for a loop..... laugh was much needed thanks for the humor...

[cheerfuldom]

Like Blackcat mentioned....preventative measures solve most of this issue, the rest is just careful supervision/shadowing. I know its awful when someone is bit in your care. One of my kids bit a DCK in the face....talk about a hard conversation. But the biting NEVER happened again and thank goodness the parent gave me the chance to address the situation. 2 years later and I still have this DCK

[saved4always]

So far my best solutions are impossible. It would involve duct taping his mouth shut and mailing him to Abu Dhabi.

Or hiring him out as a shark.

Or possibly getting his mouth certified as a military grade weapon.

(THOSE ARE JOKES!!! For clarification, this is my 14 mo son I'm talking about and he's SUCH a biter. I have no useful advice, have gotten scads of useLESS advice, and basically I have to wait it out. Pray that he outgrows it soon.)

Most of his biting is due to teething, as far as I can tell. When he has a tooth about to pop through the biting is escalated. Except now he's also learned to bite out of anger and when he wants attention.

Blackcat, love your Biting hand out. May I use it?

That is so funny! ::