How to express concern to parents??

[Frazzled]

I've been doing daycare for this family for over a year now. There are two boys; one 3.5 and the other 6.5. The 3.5 year old doesn't speak well at all. I cannot understand anything he says to me, thus, communicating with him is nearly impossible. He doesn't speak a whole lot better than the three toddlers in my daycare. I think he definitely needs some speech therapy. Also, his parents haven't even begun potty training him yet. This is beyond frustrating. I already have three toddlers and one infant to change several times a day. I feel like he should be potty trained by now, or at least started. The 6.5 year old is starting 1st grade next week and doesn't even know how to tie his shoes yet. I am just beyond frustrated with this. My husband has suggested I start charging a toddler rate for the 3.5 year old, because the whole reason preschool children are at a lesser rate is because they're slightly more independent. If I still have to change his diaper all day long and can't communicate with him, why am I charging less than the toddlers?

My question is, is it ok to mention something to the mother? And how do I do that? I'm so scared of crossing a boundary. One thing I know as a mother is, you do not talk about the kind of mother someone else is. I don't want her to think I'm saying she's a bad mother - because she certainly is not - but I do think she's hindering their growth and something needs to be done. This is getting a little ridiculous. I know that children develop at their own rate, and I know that not all children are expected to be potty trained by the same age, but to be 3.5 and not even started yet?? That seems a little excessive.

HELP!! Am I justified in being annoyed, or am I just being a huge brat??

[Blackcat31]

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[daycare]

I've been doing daycare for this family for over a year now. There are two boys; one 3.5 and the other 6.5. The 3.5 year old doesn't speak well at all. I cannot understand anything he says to me, thus, communicating with him is nearly impossible. He doesn't speak a whole lot better than the three toddlers in my daycare. I think he definitely needs some speech therapy. Also, his parents haven't even begun potty training him yet. This is beyond frustrating. I already have three toddlers and one infant to change several times a day. I feel like he should be potty trained by now, or at least started. The 6.5 year old is starting 1st grade next week and doesn't even know how to tie his shoes yet. I am just beyond frustrated with this. My husband has suggested I start charging a toddler rate for the 3.5 year old, because the whole reason preschool children are at a lesser rate is because they're slightly more independent. If I still have to change his diaper all day long and can't communicate with him, why am I charging less than the toddlers?

My question is, is it ok to mention something to the mother? And how do I do that? I'm so scared of crossing a boundary. One thing I know as a mother is, you do not talk about the kind of mother someone else is. I don't want her to think I'm saying she's a bad mother - because she certainly is not - but I do think she's hindering their growth and something needs to be done. This is getting a little ridiculous. I know that children develop at their own rate, and I know that not all children are expected to be potty trained by the same age, but to be 3.5 and not even started yet?? That seems a little excessive.

HELP!! Am I justified in being annoyed, or am I just being a huge brat??

sounds like you have two of my past kids....

what exactly are you wanting to tell the mom? about the speech? or about the potty training??

[logged out]

If you dont care if they leave bring it up. If you need the income then tread lightly. Just lost a family ive had over 2 yrs for mentioning some concerns. Imo, if they were concerned you would know. If they arent worried, nothing you say will change them. They have already had 6.5 yrs with the first one. Habits are well established.

[cheerfuldom]

only mention if it is worth possibly losing the family....unfortunately that is what most discussions of this nature come down to.

[Heidi]

Hey...DCM...I was wondering if you are concerned at all about 3.5 yo dcb's speech?


Yes...give her a referral number

No... Well, I AM a little worried, because he is a bit harder to understand than most 3 1/2 year olds I've worked with. Of course, all children develop at their own pace, but I'm wondering if it's something we should check into?

If no...you cannot push it.

If yes...then give her numbers to call or OFFER to call them yourself.


As for the potty training, don't load too much on her at once. If you can get him assessed for speech, you've got your foot in the door for the other stuff.

6.5 yo who can't tie his shoes? My 11 year old has trouble, and he's a "gifted" child. If you have time, teach him. Otherwise, he'll probably learn eventually.

[daycare]

i honestly dont bring up issues like speech delay until the child reaches age 4. Only because this is the age that our school district will jump in and help out. But I hardly ever bring this stuff up, as the parents are going to look at me and say, since when have you been certified to diagnose a speech delay? I have no degree or education to say so and unless you do, I would not say anything at all. Most doctors will catch this at their wellness check ups.

As for the potty training, I would just tell the DCM hey little Johnny has been showing interest in the potty here at DC. I think he is ready to take that next jump in his life and wanted to talk to you about potty training him together. Then you can move forward......

One other thing that I just thought of was that if she says yes to potty training and you move forward, maybe then you can tell her BTW I have a really hard time communicating with him his need to use the bathroom, just wondering if it is me that is having a hard time understanding him or do you as well at home. Then leave it at that. Let the mom come back to you and continue her concerns about it. If she is not concerned, then just back off and move on......

Good luck....

[daycarediva]

waiting doesn't help the child and since that should be your ultimate goal, you need to say something. You could do it the way I did (printing out a parent evaluation and sending them home with everyone) I'm pretty sure I got mine through Easter Seals, and then stating flat out that although you think the little one is very bright, you have noticed some articulation issues (insert example) and you think it should be looked into.