Remembering Blessings

[CrayolaKids]

Good morning all! So a few days ago, I had a fb friend post this posting to her wall...initially I was irritated by it, then I was understanding and then I became frustrated about it. We have one child now, but have been trying to have another child for a year and a half now with no success. I get the message that because you vent..you don't understand the blessing that you have been given...which is the exact opposite of how I feel. I guess this could be a good reminder to some, but just looking to hear what others feel about the post/message itself.

"So since it's my day off there is something I need to say and I apologize in advance if it offends you I have a lot of friends lately complaining about the kids and their pregnant bodies and I just have to get something off my chest. To expectant moms I would trade your morning sickness and tiredness any day if it meant that I was going to have a child. Moms instead of complaining about how your kids wont sleep or how naughty they are being or how they are just driving you crazy. Try to find the joys in them now because there are women like me that have none and they would do anything to trade places with you and because before you know it those little love bugs who could fill you with joy will be out of the house. Okay I'm done "

[DBug]

"So since it's my day off there is something I need to say and I apologize in advance if it offends you I have a lot of friends lately complaining about the kids and their pregnant bodies and I just have to get something off my chest. To expectant moms I would trade your morning sickness and tiredness any day if it meant that I was going to have a child. Moms instead of complaining about how your k
ids wont sleep or how naughty they are being or how they are just driving you crazy. Try to find the joys in them now because there are women like me that have none and they would do anything to trade places with you and because before you know it those little love bugs who could fill you with joy will be out of the house. Okay I'm done "

I would consider this a public service announcement,not a vent.

I have vented about my own kids behaviour, lack of sleep, etc, etc. on numerous occasions, but I've always been very conscious of who I'm venting to. I only vent about kids to other parents who are in the same stage of life with their own kids. Never to friends who are trying for children, only ever to people who will understand how much I love my kids and that I don't take them for granted.

That said, I am okay with venting (or listening to others vent) when it's either for the purpose of release and moving on, or for the purpose of finding others with the same issues, and figuring out if the issues are age-appropriate, need solutions, etc. Venting on Facebook though, that drives me nuts! So I totally understand your friend's post.

[AnneCordelia]

People need to learn that just because you vent doesn't mean you are ungrateful. I feel for your friend but neither party knows the hardships of the other so her posting things like her status only serves to degrade the feelings of another. She is telling another person how to feel based on the life view she has and that is rarely productive.

[CrayolaKids]

I guess I was just irritated because, while I do understand the pain and frustrations of wanting a child and not having one, she doesn't completely understand the frustrations of raising a child and is venting about people venting... I don't think she is wrong in any way in the feelings that she is having but I do think it is completely unfair to say that those who vent about their kids are ungrateful for them.

[AnneCordelia]

I guess I was just irritated because, while I do understand the pain and frustrations of wanting a child and not having one, she doesn't completely understand the frustrations of raising a child and is venting about people venting... I don't think she is wrong in any way in the feelings that she is having but I do think it is completely unfair to say that those who vent about their kids are ungrateful for them.

Exactly! .

[Provider_Manda]

As a Mother who has lost her 2 daughters (preemies) and now a mother of a handsome little boy whom we have adopted since birth..I still to this day find it hard when preg. women complain about being too preg. or ready to pop the baby out.

Now I try my hardest not to complain about having a rough day with Noah because I am greatful and lucky to have those "days" where he is just being a normal 2 1/2 year old.

But I still get aggrevated, and upset when people complain about being pregnant..it hurts and to be honest I have had my own fb vents

A lot of times when we vent over things that upset us, sometimes others don't understand it because they have never been in that person's shoes.

Infertility and infant loss is hard for a women to overcome..I think we need to have a "Handle with Care" label

[Kaddidle Care]

"So since it's my day off there is something I need to say and I apologize in advance if it offends you I have a lot of friends lately complaining about the kids and their pregnant bodies and I just have to get something off my chest. To expectant moms I would trade your morning sickness and tiredness any day if it meant that I was going to have a child. Moms instead of complaining about how your kids wont sleep or how naughty they are being or how they are just driving you crazy. Try to find the joys in them now because there are women like me that have none and they would do anything to trade places with you and because before you know it those little love bugs who could fill you with joy will be out of the house. Okay I'm done "

Just let it go hon. Hopefully someday she will have the joy of complaining about her own child and you can quietly chuckle to yourself and remember her post.

Her post screams of wanting and she's entitled to her opinion and vent. Take it or leave it, she's spilling her guts to you.

If it makes anyone in her friend list think twice about a complaint and makes them think of the alternative then she has done her job.

We all love our children. She will realize some day that these vents are not at all about our children - the vents are about us as parents.

[momofsix]

It seems to me that she is at a point of extreme pain and longing right now. Instead of being irritated with her I think she needs some extra loving right now. She may not be "right" but right now it's how she feels-and I think it's more from hurt than irritation at people's complaints.

[CrayolaKids]

You guys are exactly right, and I didn't respond to the post at all. It did get me thinking and I know there were many that did respond to her post. I know that they have been trying for a while so it probably is painful to hear of others even having babies w/o trying and such, but like anything else in facebook-land..I take it with a grain of salt. I don't think I was ever irritated AT her..probably more-so at the accusation that ALL parents who vent about their kids were ungrateful (which in a later comment she did say btw). *sigh* ah well, such is life..especially on facebook . On another note, it's Friday and my kids got picked up 45 minutes earlier than expected so I'm done early!! woohoo!