Anyone else find that it's your own kids causing the most problems?

[MaritimeMummy]

Actually, truth be told, it's just my son, haha. He turned 14 months old yesterday. He's the reason I know I couldn't handle having my full quota of 6 kids and only have one full time child and 2 part timers! He's a very loving little boy but nothing is safe from him! Since he was old enough to move, he's pulled hair and gouged eyes, something like from 3 months onward. Now he bites, hits, pulls hair...and thinks it's FUNNY. He's got a bad temper and whenever I try to redirect him from doing something he shouldn't be doing, he's throwing full out-and-out temper tantrums...throwing himself to the floor and screaming. If one of the kids takes something from him that they know he shouldn't have, he looks them dead in the eye and holds his hands firm at his sides and SCREAMS at them. Oh, the temper!

So, looking for suggestions! I've never had to curb behavioural issues of a 14-month-old. I've had people suggest time outs but really, I can't imagine time outs working at 14 months. He just doesn't understand that hitting hurts. I was trying to talk to a DCM when she picked up DCG yesterday, my son wanted me to hold him but screamed the entire time. I'd put him down, thinking that's what he wanted, and he wanted me to pick him up! Then he bit me on the shoulder several times...each time I told him in a firm voice, "No, do not bite, that is NOT nice!" but he kept doing it so I had to excuse myself from the conversation with DCM and put him in his high chair just so he didn't abuse me, haha. All the while I think, "what must this woman think of how I handle things?"

He's always been pretty intense so to be honest this behaviour as a toddler does not surprise me, but I obviously am not handling it so well, otherwise he wouldn't continue to be this way.

[daycarediva]

He sounds like my son! (but he never bit anyone, ever) Oh, the temper! The strong willed little booger! I used to joke to my husband that our home was the only daycare he wouldn't be booted out of. In the end, the only thing that worked (and worked very well) was to do the exact opposite of what I felt like doing. If he was screaming, I would cuddle him and talk about how he felt, etc. I swear, to this day, if I show ANY frustration, it only fuels him further. Patience, love, made that kid one sweet little 4 year old. He's actually my nicest kid now!

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I have DCB that is that way... two words.. Baby cage You know the rug rat sytle playpen. That way I know he is secure and not into everything. He is out when we can directly watch him but if not whoosh! Into the cage he goes.

I was going to respond.. yes my 15 yr old can be such a bad influence on the littles he juggles and such for them and they soooo can't!!

[MaritimeMummy]

Good to know I'm not the only one, LOL!

I felt the same way, that he'd get kicked out of any other daycare but here, haha. In fact, I would have termed over a kid like him if it were any other kid!

And he's so BUSY! Temper and physical aggression aside, he's into everything! Cabinets, the toilet, climbing on beds, the furniture...the other day I noticed he was rummaging through the wooden bin I have in the kitchen for root veggies. He looked up at me with a turnip in his hand and a big bite mark out of it, and he was chawing on a piece. And then got mad at ME when I took it from him, hahaha. I mean yeah, it's enough to giggle about but am worried about his safety and the other kid's safety. Plus even my almost 3 year old daughter is terrified of him. "Bubby's climbing on me again!" "stop hitting! We *DON'T* hit!!"

[cheerfuldom]

This was my middle daughter. I dont have time to post fully but a few big suggestions......

*LOTS of outdoor time and opportunities to get unfocused energy out. climbing/jumping/swinging/running.

*Careful diet....wholesome foods with not a sign of junk food, high sugars, etc that will just make the behavior escalate

*Clear consistent instruction for things he is allowed to do inside. you cant just react to his negative behavior, you have to proactively instruct towards positive behavior. If you know there are times when he takes advantage of you being distracted, give him a specific task to do before you start your task "Ryan sit right here and look at these 3 books while mommy changes Maggie's diaper". Narrow down his choices because free range freedom is something he cant handle right now.

*Routine to the max. He should have consistency with everything thing he does, day in and day out.

This is an exhausting child to raise, not going to lie.....but things will be a lot better when you are in control!

[Heidi]

I have DCB that is that way... two words.. Baby cage You know the rug rat sytle playpen. That way I know he is secure and not into everything. He is out when we can directly watch him but if not whoosh! Into the cage he goes.

I was going to respond.. yes my 15 yr old can be such a bad influence on the littles he juggles and such for them and they soooo can't!!

While baby cage wouldn't be my choice of words (how about baby zone?), I'd do the same.

First, when he's doing something slightly "off", like hitting your arm, maybe, I'd use words like "geeennntle hands, ds, genntle hands". Show him with his arm what gentle hands are. Then say..."show me gentle hands..." "good job". So, you are telling him what he SHOULD do vs. what he shouldn't whenever possible.

Negative behavior should equal no attention. So, doing things YOU know that HE knows is not okay means baby zone, no discussion. Whacking another child with something, throwing toys, etc. Even at 14 months, he'll understand cause-and-effect. If I do A, B happens. So, it's "Throwing toys is NOT ok", and then in the baby zone or a pnp (not his bed) for a few minutes, walk away. Rinse and repeat. You really want to minimize him getting attention for bad behavior. And, don't underestimate his ability to understand! He may not understand long sentences, bu the understands what riles mom, and what wins him attention.

When you have to leave him unsupervised....don't. Put him in a high chair or another secure place (but not that pnp) and give him something to do. A puzzle, a toy, a book. IF you're cooking, give him a bowl and a spoon to mimic you. Talk to him about what you're doing, what he's doing, etc. You're trying to reduce the opportunities for him to be naughtly. I actually have my whole group at the table doing puzzles or coloring when I cook. It's just safer that way, and helps one of my kids, who has attention issues, stay focused.

When you see him making good choices, notice. Don't lavish him with "your so wonderful", just say "I notice you being gentle with that toy. Thank you". Or "your sitting on that chair safely".

That's all I've got...

[spud912]

Absolutely! My older dd is the worst child in my care. My younger dd is somewhere in the middle: not as good as some, but better than others.

[DayCareDynasty]

I totally understand my youngest son was 2 when I started my child care. OMG! He was the ring leader. If he got on the sofa and jumped off the other toddlers did too, if he screamed they screamed, he threw blocks they did the same. I would always say, my son is the worse child in my day care!Lol!

He could speak very well, so I would talk to him before day care and tell him how he should behave every single day eventually it got better. Sometimes my sis would come over because she was an assistant on my license, she would just sit with him while I was with the other kids which gave him the attention I am sure he felt he wasn't getting from me now that there were children his age in the day care and even younger!

[Blackcat31]

Actually, truth be told, it's just my son, haha. He turned 14 months old yesterday. He's the reason I know I couldn't handle having my full quota of 6 kids and only have one full time child and 2 part timers! He's a very loving little boy but nothing is safe from him! Since he was old enough to move, he's pulled hair and gouged eyes, something like from 3 months onward. Now he bites, hits, pulls hair...and thinks it's FUNNY. He's got a bad temper and whenever I try to redirect him from doing something he shouldn't be doing, he's throwing full out-and-out temper tantrums...throwing himself to the floor and screaming. If one of the kids takes something from him that they know he shouldn't have, he looks them dead in the eye and holds his hands firm at his sides and SCREAMS at them. Oh, the temper!

So, looking for suggestions! I've never had to curb behavioural issues of a 14-month-old. I've had people suggest time outs but really, I can't imagine time outs working at 14 months. He just doesn't understand that hitting hurts. I was trying to talk to a DCM when she picked up DCG yesterday, my son wanted me to hold him but screamed the entire time. I'd put him down, thinking that's what he wanted, and he wanted me to pick him up! Then he bit me on the shoulder several times...each time I told him in a firm voice, "No, do not bite, that is NOT nice!" but he kept doing it so I had to excuse myself from the conversation with DCM and put him in his high chair just so he didn't abuse me, haha. All the while I think, "what must this woman think of how I handle things?"

He's always been pretty intense so to be honest this behaviour as a toddler does not surprise me, but I obviously am not handling it so well, otherwise he wouldn't continue to be this way.

My own son was the same way. He is the reason I am now a child care provider. My DS was booted from 2 child care and 1 center by the age of 18 months. He is now 21 and the nicest, most caring adult you will probably meet.....but wowza, what tough kid he was at that age....heck, who am I kidding? He was tough until he got to be a teenager.

He is the reason I am a child care provider and why I don't have any more children of my own. I was absolutely terrrified that I would get another one like him. My oldest was a dream child. She never gave me any grief, was easy going and a generally all around wonderful baby....then came my DS.

Don't get me wrong.....my DH and I love/loved him dearly but he was ina category all by himself. He pushed buttons, tested boundaries and basically made a goal of just going against the grain at any time he could.

If you ever want to talk or need advice about a certain situation, feel free to PM me anytime. I survived so I know you can too!

[SilverSabre25]

Oooohhhhh, you have my DS's twin!! He turned 14 months on the 3rd, .

He bites too. Little vampire.

No advice, just know that you are NOT alone!! ::

[MaritimeMummy]

My oldest was a dream child. She never gave me any grief, was easy going and a generally all around wonderful baby....then came my DS.

...wow. Exactly here, too. DD is 3 the end of August and she was a dream child...hardly ever cried, so easy going, hardly needed discipline, she was just GOOD. He's been a test of my strength since the day he was conceived, LOL.

Oh, also...he strangled me for the first time tonight, one of my DCP's bore witness to it. It was crazy. I was holding him on my hip, one hand went on the back of my neck, I thought he was just patting me. Then the other hand wrapped around my throat and he actually SQUEEZED. DCM didn't know what to say. "Does he do this often?!" I'm like, "NO!! This is the first time!!" OMG, how bad that must look to DCP's...

also, he bit me so hard on my chin tonight that I have a bruise. Seriously, can't bite me on the shoulder so I can conceal it? It's gotta be right out in the open so I have to explain myself? And really, how often does a chin get bruised? So I can't even make up an excuse. LOL

[SilverSabre25]

...wow. Exactly here, too. DD is 3 the end of August and she was a dream child...hardly ever cried, so easy going, hardly needed discipline, she was just GOOD. He's been a test of my strength since the day he was conceived, LOL.

Oh, also...he strangled me for the first time tonight, one of my DCP's bore witness to it. It was crazy. I was holding him on my hip, one hand went on the back of my neck, I thought he was just patting me. Then the other hand wrapped around my throat and he actually SQUEEZED. DCM didn't know what to say. "Does he do this often?!" I'm like, "NO!! This is the first time!!" OMG, how bad that must look to DCP's...

also, he bit me so hard on my chin tonight that I have a bruise. Seriously, can't bite me on the shoulder so I can conceal it? It's gotta be right out in the open so I have to explain myself? And really, how often does a chin get bruised? So I can't even make up an excuse. LOL

For a couple of months I had bruises all up and down my left forearm from DS biting me. He usually bruises when he bites. And when people notice I just sigh and say, "Yeah, my son bit me."

[frugalmama4]

Yep...Yep...Yep...all four of mine 1yr, 5yr, 8yr and 11yr. I can't wait til school starts!


Lord help us all

[cheerfuldom]

My own son was the same way. He is the reason I am now a child care provider. My DS was booted from 2 child care and 1 center by the age of 18 months. He is now 21 and the nicest, most caring adult you will probably meet.....but wowza, what tough kid he was at that age....heck, who am I kidding? He was tough until he got to be a teenager.

He is the reason I am a child care provider and why I don't have any more children of my own. I was absolutely terrrified that I would get another one like him. My oldest was a dream child. She never gave me any grief, was easy going and a generally all around wonderful baby....then came my DS.

Don't get me wrong.....my DH and I love/loved him dearly but he was ina category all by himself. He pushed buttons, tested boundaries and basically made a goal of just going against the grain at any time he could.

If you ever want to talk or need advice about a certain situation, feel free to PM me anytime. I survived so I know you can too!

I hear ya! I am positive my middle daughter would have gotten booted...she tried EVERYTHING from biting to hitting to being bossy to screaming tantrums. My other children and my daycare kids are all quite well behaved. My middle daughter KNOWS the rules and has consistency, she just tests all. the. time. on every rule. Thats her personality but I wouldnt expect another provider to put up with it at all.

[cheerfuldom]

...wow. Exactly here, too. DD is 3 the end of August and she was a dream child...hardly ever cried, so easy going, hardly needed discipline, she was just GOOD. He's been a test of my strength since the day he was conceived, LOL.

Oh, also...he strangled me for the first time tonight, one of my DCP's bore witness to it. It was crazy. I was holding him on my hip, one hand went on the back of my neck, I thought he was just patting me. Then the other hand wrapped around my throat and he actually SQUEEZED. DCM didn't know what to say. "Does he do this often?!" I'm like, "NO!! This is the first time!!" OMG, how bad that must look to DCP's...

also, he bit me so hard on my chin tonight that I have a bruise. Seriously, can't bite me on the shoulder so I can conceal it? It's gotta be right out in the open so I have to explain myself? And really, how often does a chin get bruised? So I can't even make up an excuse. LOL

I would create a safe space to keep him from the door when you do drop offs and pickups. I wouldnt be surprised if his behavior scares some parents off....I am not saying that it is your fault, but only that that is alarming behavior for a parent whose child would never try something like that. Especially with first time parents who get nervous about stuff easily. Anyway, I dont like any other kids at the door period except for the one coming and going.