DCG's last day tomorrow...

[MaritimeMummy]

I am really going to miss her. I mean let's face it, despite all her mom's flakiness and nastiness, she was probably one of the best kids to care for, and she and my daughter are only 1 month apart in age and SO much alike, if it weren't for her mom she was a pleasure to have here.

Here's the thing: DCM is moving 1 hour away. DCG's grandmother still lives near my house, less than 5 minutes away. I have been told that DCGM (day care grandmother) still wants to bring DCG once in a while, if I have space, for a few hours on a drop-in basis because she'll be visiting probably 2 times a week while DCM is at work (to kind of explain, DCM was working locally when she started care with me but since then got a job that requires a commute, so this move will take her closer to her work, but it wouldn't make sense for her to continue coming here).

Now, I don't do drop-ins on a casual basis. But at the same time, I would feel bad for the relationship between my DD and DCG if they didn't get to see each other once in a while. I'm torn...should I bend the rules for this girl? (I would never have to deal with her mother again, just the grandmother, who is actually a pleasure and more personable and respectful), but it would mean doing something that is against my handbook. What would you do?

[cheerfuldom]

I am really going to miss her. I mean let's face it, despite all her mom's flakiness and nastiness, she was probably one of the best kids to care for, and she and my daughter are only 1 month apart in age and SO much alike, if it weren't for her mom she was a pleasure to have here.

Here's the thing: DCM is moving 1 hour away. DCG's grandmother still lives near my house, less than 5 minutes away. I have been told that DCGM (day care grandmother) still wants to bring DCG once in a while, if I have space, for a few hours on a drop-in basis because she'll be visiting probably 2 times a week while DCM is at work (to kind of explain, DCM was working locally when she started care with me but since then got a job that requires a commute, so this move will take her closer to her work, but it wouldn't make sense for her to continue coming here).

Now, I don't do drop-ins on a casual basis. But at the same time, I would feel bad for the relationship between my DD and DCG if they didn't get to see each other once in a while. I'm torn...should I bend the rules for this girl? (I would never have to deal with her mother again, just the grandmother, who is actually a pleasure and more personable and respectful), but it would mean doing something that is against my handbook. What would you do?

I would try it at least once. you could always say no after that.

[MaritimeMummy]

I would try it at least once. you could always say no after that.

I guess my concern is that the other parents would see that I'm being lax with my policies and I'm worried they would see it as an opportunity to start going against my other policies. I got burned bad and frequently with this DCM in spite of my handbook. Now that I'm bouncing back and getting my backbone again, I don't want other parents to see me become lenient once...

Is my concern justified? I'm trying to not be such a hardass but after everything, I don't want that stuff to keep happening with the remaining DCP's. kwim?

[Lilbutterflie]

I would do it! Your DD will probably thank you for getting to play with her every once in a while; and you'll probably enjoy being able to see her, too.

Occasional drop-ins usually don't work because the child's schedule is different, they have no time to get used to your rules and boundaries, and they don't have enough time with you & the other kids to establish a bond. But this girl has already been acclimated (so to speak!). She already has a bond with you & the kids, she knows your rules and boundaries, and is used to your schedule. Depending on her age, I don't think you'll have a problem at all. AND you won't be dealing with DCM, you'd be dealing with DCGM!

[Meyou]

I personally wouldn't do it with this family because of how you've been treated.