Sick Child

[professionalmom]

I am a daycare provider with a 23 mth old DD who got a 102.0 temp last night. We gave her Tylenol and it came down. This morning she slept in 2 hours longer than normal and when I woke up (no daycare kids this morning), I checked on her and she was still asleep and had dried vomit on her Lovey Bear and bed sheets. I got her up, cleaned her, cleaned Lovey, and took her temp. It was 100.4 so I made an appointment to get her in to the doctor for this afternoon. In the meantime, I am so worried and my heart is just breaking for my little girl. I am definitely grateful to be an at-home mom so I can take care of her, but even I worked outside the home, I would have called off and stayed home with her today. Which makes me wonder about the parents that bring their sick kids to daycare. I understand that parents have to work and don't want to risk losing their jobs by taking a day off, but I just can't fathom the idea of taking my child to someone else when she's sick. How can parents do that? I know many of us complain about parents bringing their sick kids to daycare. I, personally, don't have a problem with taking care of a sick child. The problem I have is, when a child is sick, the child NEEDS to be at home with their mommy or daddy. How can parents NOT understand this NEED? Maybe I'm just an overprotective, oversensitive first time mommy. But, I just can't imagine NOT putting my baby's needs ahead of everything else, especially when she's this sick. Is there any way we can we can stress this with parents? I know that many of them will come get their sick child, take the child to someone else, then go back to work. My heart just breaks for children that are sick and the parents dump them on someone else (daycare or some one else).

[momofboys]

I am a daycare provider with a 23 mth old DD who got a 102.0 temp last night. We gave her Tylenol and it came down. This morning she slept in 2 hours longer than normal and when I woke up (no daycare kids this morning), I checked on her and she was still asleep and had dried vomit on her Lovey Bear and bed sheets. I got her up, cleaned her, cleaned Lovey, and took her temp. It was 100.4 so I made an appointment to get her in to the doctor for this afternoon. In the meantime, I am so worried and my heart is just breaking for my little girl. I am definitely grateful to be an at-home mom so I can take care of her, but even I worked outside the home, I would have called off and stayed home with her today. Which makes me wonder about the parents that bring their sick kids to daycare. I understand that parents have to work and don't want to risk losing their jobs by taking a day off, but I just can't fathom the idea of taking my child to someone else when she's sick. How can parents do that? I know many of us complain about parents bringing their sick kids to daycare. I, personally, don't have a problem with taking care of a sick child. The problem I have is, when a child is sick, the child NEEDS to be at home with their mommy or daddy. How can parents NOT understand this NEED? Maybe I'm just an overprotective, oversensitive first time mommy. But, I just can't imagine NOT putting my baby's needs ahead of everything else, especially when she's this sick. Is there any way we can we can stress this with parents? I know that many of them will come get their sick child, take the child to someone else, then go back to work. My heart just breaks for children that are sick and the parents dump them on someone else (daycare or some one else).

I know it's hard to fathom. When I WOH years ago my husband & I would take turns if the kid/s were sick. We used to literally work half days. He would go in from 7-11, drive home & then I would go to work from 12-4, I know not everyone can do that but we were able to make it work. We never brought our kids to CC when they were ill. I hope your DD is feeling better! Let us know what your dr says.

[fctjc1979]

I know the feeling. When either of my kids are sick, I can't imagine doing anything else but take care of them. I sometimes wonder if that's part of the daycare provider personality. I don't really know, it's just a suggestion, but maybe that's why we are daycare providers to begin with. We love kids, have a heart for them. My older sister loves her kids but can't stand to be around other people's kids. When her babies were born, the nurses were very concerned because when they tried to give her the baby she would just hand it back and tell them to take care of it. She knew that she was going to be taking care of the baby 24/7 when she got it home so she was going to take advantage of as much "free" child care as she could get. I on the otherhand, in spite of relatives suggesting what my sister did, couldn't stand not having the baby with me even though I too knew that I would be taking care of her 24/7 when I got her home. I really probably should have rested more than I did but I just needed to have her with me so I could look at her face, play with her fingers, and snuggle with this wonderous new person in my life. I couldn't get enough. I think it's personality. My sister would never be a daycare provider. She's a great mom but wouldn't make it as a provider. She too takes her kids to relatives if they are too sick to be in daycare. I think it's just a mindset that the kids will be fine, no harm done. I can't really get into my sister's head so I realize that I'm guessing a bit but I really just think that they don't feel that same need to be right by their child's side if the child is sick. Although I have also known parents who despised leaving a sick kid with a relative or provider but had jobs that were very unforgiving when it came to taking days off for sick kids.

[Janet]

Sickness

I think that a lot of parents will send their kids sick because of a few different reason:

They have to pay anyway, so they want their money's worth
They are afraid of getting in trouble with their boss
They don't want to deal with a sick child
They have different definitions of "sickness" than we do

For whatever reason, I really just don't get it. When Olivia was in daycare, I would keep her home if she was sick and my husband and I took turns taking care of her. If she got sick at daycare, we came to get her immediately. We always paid without complainng because we knew what the policies were. My kid is paramount to me. If she is sick, then I give her my full attention and all of my care. I took off an entire week when she caught the H1N1 virus. Parents need to step up and be parents when their kids are sick.

[professionalmom]

I know the feeling. When either of my kids are sick, I can't imagine doing anything else but take care of them. I sometimes wonder if that's part of the daycare provider personality. I don't really know, it's just a suggestion, but maybe that's why we are daycare providers to begin with. We love kids, have a heart for them. My older sister loves her kids but can't stand to be around other people's kids. When her babies were born, the nurses were very concerned because when they tried to give her the baby she would just hand it back and tell them to take care of it. She knew that she was going to be taking care of the baby 24/7 when she got it home so she was going to take advantage of as much "free" child care as she could get. I on the otherhand, in spite of relatives suggesting what my sister did, couldn't stand not having the baby with me even though I too knew that I would be taking care of her 24/7 when I got her home. I really probably should have rested more than I did but I just needed to have her with me so I could look at her face, play with her fingers, and snuggle with this wonderous new person in my life. I couldn't get enough. I think it's personality. My sister would never be a daycare provider. She's a great mom but wouldn't make it as a provider. She too takes her kids to relatives if they are too sick to be in daycare. I think it's just a mindset that the kids will be fine, no harm done. I can't really get into my sister's head so I realize that I'm guessing a bit but I really just think that they don't feel that same need to be right by their child's side if the child is sick. Although I have also known parents who despised leaving a sick kid with a relative or provider but had jobs that were very unforgiving when it came to taking days off for sick kids.

I think you are right about it being a part of our personalities and maybe part of the very essence that makes us great at what we do. I was the same way when my DD was born. At 33, I had waited VERY long to have a child and even went through some times in my life when I thought it may never happen (HA! Now I'm preg with #2 & #3 both due in Nov!). So when DD came, I wanted to spend every possible moment with her. At the moment of her birth, I had been up for over 24 hours. I stayed up almost another 24 after she was born because I was on the "new mom high". But fatigue got the best of me and I started to have hallucinations so we let them take her to the nursery for a while. After only 3 hours, I woke up pretty suddenly with the worst mind-numbing fear. I immediately paged the nurse and said, "bring me my baby. I need her!" And that was it. I was even asking to go home the day I had her (born in early am)! I was too excited to start my life with her without the interruptions of strangers. So I guess it does show a great difference.

On another note: DD has a virus that is going through the whole community. Good news is that IF I get it, our unborn twins would be fine - not harmful to them. Also , the doctor said that since I only have late evening/night DC kids this week (after DD goes to bed), it should be fine to stay open! Woohoo! No lose of income.

KUDOS to DAYCARE PROVIDERS!! After the doctor, DH, DD, & I went to a small diner for lunch. There was a much older lady there that talked to us. She told us that she had been a teacher and had her 2 kids when she was about our age (mid 30's), but became divorced and had to work. Her kids turned out great. But earlier this past year, her oldest (20-something years old) past away from a disease (I think she was talking about cancer) and that she lives with regrets of not spending more time with her kids when they were younger. She praised us on being "there" for our DD and for me being at-home and being a daycare provider. And she said to cherish every moment because you never know how long much time you really have with them. So true!! Our career choice may mean we are underpaid, under-appreciated, etc. But, as we all know, we ARE making the best decisions for OUR families. Most of all, we are giving our kids and our families the most precious gift of all - time! We just need to remind ourselves and each other of that from time to time.

SO, from me to all of you - CONGRATULATIONS for being the wonderful, awesome mothers you are - to your own children and to the children you care for!! BIG pats on the backs for everyone!!

[QualiTcare]

i've called into work before when my daughter was vomiting sick, but i also didn't REALLY care about my job. i didn't really care about it because it was for extra money and i would've been fine without it thanks to my husband's income. i hated that job anyway.

there was another time my daughter was sick (not vomiting) but fever and feeling bad and i left work, picked her up, and took her to my mom's house before going back to work. that was a job that i NEEDED because i was single and leaving work wasn't an option. i was lucky i could leave long enough to pick her up.

it's easy to say what you would and wouldn't do, but when you're the only person bringing in any money and your job pays for your rent, power, diapers, food, etc. it doesn't seem like so bad of an option to take a kid to a grandparent instead of making a rash decision to quit your job. my mom always took me to my grandmother's house when i was sick and i didn't mind. i'd actually ask to go to her house a lot of times when i was sick. i can imagine there are people who are in a situation where they can't take off work AND don't have a grandma around. i'm sure they aren't THRILLED to leave their kid with an aunt or a friend, but u gotta do what u gotta do.