Phone Call with DCM

[Nickel]

So I'm wondering if I blew it...

dcm called for a second interview so I can meet the baby. I told her I did have a car seat that a friend of mine gave me that was barely used. She didn't use it that long. So I told her she could look at it and if she was okay with it she wouldn't have to buy a second seat. I transport daily to pick up and drop off my dd at school beginning in Aug.

She said that she trusted me but she wasn't sure how much longer he would be in. I told her that now they have extended the guidelines for rear facing. That legally it is 12 months and x pounds, they recommend keeping them rear facing as long as possible and the seat I got is up to 35lbs. I also told her that my own daughter got the graco my ride 65 that was rear facing up to 40 lbs (or something like that). She is no longer rear facing, although I wish she was. Her car seat was too big for my car to keep her rear facing. So I moved her forward. When I got my SUV she wouldn't turn back around. Although I'm tempted to try again.

So, anyway, I told her that they said that it is better to break a leg than the hurt the neck or back. But she said she didn't think her son would have anything to do with that and would scream. And I told her that I understood but in my car we would stay rear facing. She then said she didn't want him screaming the entire time and I told her of course not. I woudln't torture him!

But then I don't remember what she said but then I told her I had to go because we had just gotten home. So I'm thinking that conversation didn't go very well. She's coming on Friday so there is almost a whole week for her and I to stew over the conversation. I was thinking of sending her a follow up email telling her that I do think rear facing is the safest method of tranportation, however I will follow her wishes if he starts screaming or is unhappy in the rear facing position. And that she may provide a car seat for him to sit in and I will use it. Or she can use the one I have until he reaches the weight and size limit.

Not he's only 4 months old, so there's a LOOOOOng time to go until he's one. SO this shoudln't even be an issue right now. Should I send the email, or let it go and wait until Fri. Or should I stick by my guns and ask her to speak to her pediatrician about it when she goes for his physical? I do believe in rear facing, but legally he can be forward facing at one year and he will surely be over the weight limit by then. He's a big boy.

What would you do in this situation?

[AnneCordelia]

I would say this: "The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends rearfacing until 2 years of age. I follow their guidelines with my daycare because safety is the most important thing to me." put on repeat.

Personally I wouldn't want the liability of forward facing a baby that young when there is the option to rearface. Screaming or no, internal decapitation worries me more than a baby crying for five minutes in the car.

Remember that the larger the child the more risk...spinal fusion is the same for every baby regardless of size (the spine is the same) the bigger babies have more weight to throw into a crash.

[Truly Scrumptious]

Well...how strongly do you feel about it? That's what I would go by. If you're comfortable with what the mom wants, then do it...but I would get her to sign a transportation form stating that she wants him to face forward.

[Nickel]

I am pretty adminent about car seat safety. We used to have the highway patrol come into my job every year and give a brief, and it was horrific stories. Really aweful things. Sometimes the speaker would be moved to tears. And the pictures were aweful. Things you'll never get out of your head. So I am BIG on car seat safety. I don't ever let anyone else put the car seat in the car, and if they do, I go behind them and check it for proper installation. I correct the seat straps on my nieces and nephews car seat and even my friends. If i see something wrong with the car seat, i speak up, regardless of who it is.

I am a huge advicate of extended rear facing, so I don't feel comfortable turnign the baby around at one year. However, both my children were forward facing at one because I didnt know what I do now. And I don't want to be responsible for hurting someone else's child while they are in my vehicle. So I don't feel comfortable turning him around before the age of one, which again is in like 6 months. BUT if mom turns him around at one he will most likely fight in my vehicle because he will like fwd facing better.

But I'd much rather try and I'm really hoping she will bring it up to her pediatrician and he will tell her the new guidelines. She's a first time mom and a big stickler for following ped recommendations, we actually have a ton in common it's scary. So I don't want this it be the one thing we don't agree on. I'd much rather her make the decision to keep him rear facing.

But I don't want to lose her as a cleint when I can always keep him rear facing down the road and see how he does. So I'm not sure if I should follow up this evening with an email or not. I definitely think it is something that I can discuss with her, but the conversation ended a bit upbrubtly because I had to go. So, I'm not sure what to do at this point.

[Buxterboo]

When people I know tell me I am crazy for ERF my kids i send them this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2DVfqFhseo&feature=related

[Nickel]

Thank you., I might have to send that to her. I saw something like that when I first heard about ERF. And i strongly believe in it. Did you see how little the car seat actually moved! Way better than the FF.

I don't want to lose a client before they even start, but it is something I feel is really important. After watching that video I am seriously considering putting my daughter back to rear facing even though she's about to be three. She hasn't hit the max yet on her seat. She's not even 30 lbs yet. So I might try it and see how she does turning back around., Probably won't work so well, but I will def be doing that with my next little one.

I think I'll just let it be for now and see what happens on Friday. If she brings it up i will reiterate my stance and explain why I feel that way and why it's so important. Even my peds office has the signs for ERF. So I'm hoping hers does too.

[Country Kids]

When you put a child rear facing where do their legs go (the older kids)? Seems like it would be so uncomfortable with them either scrunched up or having to go around the back of the seat.

[Nickel]

They just bring their legs up. The don't think anything of it and they aren't uncomfortable. They just bend their knees and kind of let them flop to the sides if that makes sense. But its still safer, much much safer.

And the seat actually pulls away from the car in a crash so their legs are no where near the back of the car to even hurt their legs.

[daycarediva]

This is actually a stipulation in my transportation permission slip, that parents let their child rear face for the maxiumum weight and height of my seat (britax marathons). I have rear faced 1 year olds who FF in their parents cars without a single problem, ever. It's a deal breaker for me!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would say this: "The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends rearfacing until 2 years of age. I follow their guidelines with my daycare because safety is the most important thing to me." put on repeat.

Personally I wouldn't want the liability of forward facing a baby that young when there is the option to rearface. Screaming or no, internal decapitation worries me more than a baby crying for five minutes in the car.

Remember that the larger the child the more risk...spinal fusion is the same for every baby regardless of size (the spine is the same) the bigger babies have more weight to throw into a crash.

lovethis happyface

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

They just bring their legs up. The don't think anything of it and they aren't uncomfortable. They just bend their knees and kind of let them flop to the sides if that makes sense. But its still safer, much much safer.

And the seat actually pulls away from the car in a crash so their legs are no where near the back of the car to even hurt their legs.

happyface Exactly.

[Nickel]

Oh good. I was worried that I would have problems if mom FF and I did RF. I'm glad to hear it isn't an issue. Especially since I am proving the seat. Right now it's just an infant seat, but as I get more money in I'd like to get another Graco MY Ride, although there is probably something better on the market now, since dds is almost 3 years old.

We got into an accident with her infant seat and threw it out and bought the graco instead. She was absolutely fine, but it was super scary. And it happened in an instance and she was two months old.

In any case, I think I am just going to not mention it again until he's closer to one. I mean it is my vehicle and I am more concerned about safety than anything else. Even my girl scouts know that. So she can be as upset as she wants, but I will do ERF. Because if I get into an accident and something happens I will never forgive myself.

Thank you all for helping me support my decision. I felt like I was wrong for being so stubborn about it. But I'm glad and I feel better in my decision.

[Daycarelady1979]

What exactly is this ERF situation?? My baby is 5 months old & I've never heard anything about it.

[DaisyMamma]

The only red flag I saw in that conversation was the part when you said you had to go because you just got home.
So in other words you were driving and talking? If not, does she know someone else was driving?
I would just call her on Thurs for a confirmation and let her know that you two can discuss the carseats then.

[SilverSabre25]

What exactly is this ERF situation?? My baby is 5 months old & I've never heard anything about it.

It is NOT safe to forward-face a child at the "standard" (and that's sarcastic btw) 12 months and 20 lbs. Please, please, PLEASE keep your child rear-facing until the maximum height and weight limit on their car seat. In an accident, rear-facing is safest by far. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends keeping children RF until AT LEAST 2 years old. Watch the YouTube video linked above for more information.