Serving Family Style Meals

[Country Kids]

I've read/heard over the years of doing meals this way with the daycare children. I have some questions though on doing this and hoped the wonderful ladies here could answer them.

What do you do if a child won't take a certain food? I know a few of mine that would take fruit only and nothing else.

What about if a child takes the food but won't eat it? I had one today that told me for 1 1/2 hours how hungry they were but only at about 3 bites when it came down to it for lunch.

What happens if a child sneezes/coughs into the serving dish? I actually took a cooking for kids class this year and family style serving was strongly discouraged because of contamintation from kids.

For me we have "serving amounts" through the food program. Anyone else have those. What happens if a child won't take that amount you are to serve?

I think thats it for now. I may have more to come in the future though-stay tuned for more.

[Country Kids]

Just bumping back up-

[AnneCordelia]

What is the definition of family style? My daycare kids eat the same as my own family....I serve the food and they eat it. I don't think I could ever let them serve themselves because of contamination either. That would, imo, waste a lot of food.

[Heidi]

I do family style, although now it's more about me sitting with them then the self-service. I have some new kids not ready for that quite yet. We'll start again in the fall.

As for the serving size, I ask them to put ONE or TWO spoonfuls of each on their plate. Then, when their plate is empty, they can get a refill of their choice. If a child truly HATES a particular thing (like they will gag upon eating it), I encourage them to try it, but do not force it. There are those rare exceptions to the try-everything. It's not been a problem.

Our food program just says we have to MAKE enough for everyone to get that serving, not put it all on their plate.


Never had once sneeze in the communal plate yet-and for a year, I had a girl I dubbed sneezy. She just never sneezed onto the food..thank you!

[Country Kids]

I don't get these children. For snack we had organic bunny crackers and plums. They wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.

So I'm wondering how in the world do I get them to serve themselves family style if they won't even eat things like this?

[Heidi]

I don't get these children. For snack we had organic bunny crackers and plums. They wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.

So I'm wondering how in the world do I get them to serve themselves family style if they won't even eat things like this?

I dont know what to tell you on that. Maybe serving themselves would be such a novelty that they'd be willing to try the food. Just like when they make it themselves, they'll usually eat it (but not always).

[crunchymama]

We use measuring cups for serving. They are easy to hold by the little handles and the kids can serve appropriate amounts to themselves.
As for them not wanting to take a certain food I ask that they take just a little and try it--1 taste per year of age. If they absolutely refuse they lose the privilege of making their own plate for that meal and I make it for them.
Sneezers/Coughers-- if you're sick you don't make your own plate, and if a dish gets sneezed in, it gets dumped. We strive for cleanliness by washing hands, pushing sleeves up, and talking about not breathing all over the serving dishes, etc. But sometimes things get messy/dirty and things have to be thrown out. Another thing I've learned is to not fill the serving dishes up completely. Say I make mac and cheese, I put about half into the serving dish and leave the rest in the pot on the stove, so if it's spilled or messed we still have more.

[nothingwithoutjoy]

I've always done family style and can't imagine doing it any other way. It's more personal and friendly, it allows for adult role-modeling at the table, it gives time for wonderful conversations to happen un-interrupted by constant up-and-down to the counter, and it gives children respect and independence. My specific answers are below:

I've read/heard over the years of doing meals this way with the daycare children. I have some questions though on doing this and hoped the wonderful ladies here could answer them.

What do you do if a child won't take a certain food? I know a few of mine that would take fruit only and nothing else.
I have an expectation that kids will try a bit of everything. If they want to leave it after that one bite, fine, but I expect you'll try everything every day. For that reason, and to avoid hungry kids trying to get to the serving bowl all at once, I put a small portion of each item on each plate as I set the serving bowl on the table. After that we serve ourselves.

I also choose items carefully. I might not serve fruit at lunch, so they'll eat the veggies. I'd do fruit as a snack, when they can gorge to their hearts' content. And if everything on the table is a healthful choice, then it shouldn't matter if they mostly eat one thing. I can balance out over a day or several days; it needn't be perfectly balanced at each meal.

What about if a child takes the food but won't eat it? I had one today that told me for 1 1/2 hours how hungry they were but only at about 3 bites when it came down to it for lunch.
Yup. That'll happen. I encourage and model small portions, letting them know they can take more and more and more if they're still hungry. But kids will always leave food, whether they serve it to themselves or you serve it. Helps my sanity to know the scraps will go to our chickens. :-) Before we had them, I just reminded myself that it makes good compost and it's a learning opportunity for all of us. (How much to take, what to serve, etc.)

What happens if a child sneezes/coughs into the serving dish? I actually took a cooking for kids class this year and family style serving was strongly discouraged because of contamintation from kids.
Again, a possibility. But really, if they sneeze at the table, they get all our food on our plates anyway. I work very hard at teaching the into-the-elbow technique. Again, it's one of the things we learn while doing family-style, and is one of the benefits of it (the skill, not the germs). I also use smallish serving bowls and will refill them from the stove as necessary. That way huge portions don't get contaminated. But it doesn't happen that often.
For me we have "serving amounts" through the food program. Anyone else have those. What happens if a child won't take that amount you are to serve?
Just make sure you've got the right number of servings available for them to take. They don't have to take it all. You'll waste a lot less when the kids take what they'll eat rather than what you "have to" give them.

I think thats it for now. I may have more to come in the future though-stay tuned for more.

Go for it! I think you'll love it.

[nothingwithoutjoy]

I don't get these children. For snack we had organic bunny crackers and plums. They wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.

So I'm wondering how in the world do I get them to serve themselves family style if they won't even eat things like this?

I'd assume that either:

1) they're not hungry.

or

2) they've never seen such "weird" food before (anything can be new to someone) and need to see it ten more times before it looks normal to them.

I have an 8-yr-old who was with me daily from ages 2-5 and ate just fine, but now that she's just here in the summers, she thinks my food looks strange, and also thinks that maybe she can order up something different. Nope. So she skips snack and nibbles a bite at lunch and starts begging me for a snack at 1:00 (it comes at 3). Oh, well. If she's truly hungry, she'll eat.

[itlw8]

I serve the meal but then they serve themselves seconds. I put small amounts out for seconds and then refill if needed. That way if it was not on the table I can serve it as leftovers.

[Country Kids]

Today we had chicken, peas, noodles and bananas for lunch. One child wouldn't touch anything, while another child cleared their plate of everything.

So I ended up dumping all the ones childs food out-. Thats why I'm not sure if doing family style would work because they probably wouldn't take anything and even if I helped put it on the plate they won't eat it. This is the child that asked for 1 1/2 hours when was lunch!

I'll have to really think this one over and I may just stick to serving it myself.

[countrymom]

the kids sit as a family but to serve themselves would never work here. I would have to put everything on the table and not get up if there was something that was wanted or needed.

for me, i find it easier to put it on their plate. I put a little on the plate and they can always come back for more. I have kids who don't eat, but now I'm becoming meaner about it. These are the kids who then keep asking me for food all day. I just remind them that they are hungry because they ate nothing for lunch.

have you tried fun plates. I know you can buy paper plates that have designs on them. Yesterday they were eating off of my new plates and the kids loved them so much that they ate everything because they loved staring at the design.

[snbauser]

We have been doing family style since about April and the kids do really well with it. First I must say that I was pleasantly suprised at the changes it made in their eating habits. They are all eating more of everything, including their vegetables. I will explain how ours works but remember that although I operate out of my home, I am licensed for 12 children, have 3 helpers at lunch time, and licensed as a center so I have much more stringent rules than family child care providers.

1. We have our meal helper come wash and set the plates, napkins, and cups on the table.

2. Then the rest of that table comes and washes up and sits down (6 to a table and I have 2 sinks so there isn't a long wait).

3. When the entire table is seated, 2 teachers start with helping the kids serve themselves while the other 2 teachers get the other table washed and seated.

4. As far as the actual serving part - the kids know they have to take some of everything. Depending on what it is, we will usually tell them how many they are allowed to take so that they don't fill their plate with one thing. for example if we were having fish sticks we would say you can take 2 or 3 of them. They also have learned that they can not touch the food either on the serving utensil or on their plate. We watch them closely and if they touch the serving utensil it is immediately removed for a clean one. If they touch the food on their plate, they lose the right to serve the rest of their meal. When they have put some of everything on their plates, we remove the serving bowls and pass around the drink to be poured.

5. Our serving bowls are I think about 1 1/2 qt size and are lightweight plastic so they don't hold a whole lot and are easy for them to pass around. I got them at Walmart in their summer section.

Now for a few "other rules" we follow.

1. They must try at least 1 bite of everything on their plate before they can have seconds of anything.

2. They have to eat everything on their plate before they can have 3rds. I won't typically give them more than 3rds at all.

3. Because of our health and sanitation rules as part of being a center, the children can not serve their seconds or thirds, only first helpings. Because they have washed and then served, they are okay. But then after eating they have "contaminated" their hands and you don't really want them touching community utensils again so we serve subsequent helpings. Also, we can not refill serving bowls or pitchers so we have to have a second set with the "leftovers" so that when the original serving bowl is empty we have more. This also helps in the rare instance that a child coughs or sneezes in the bowl and we have to throw it out. Since April, that has not happened once yet. Of course we haven't gone through the winter season doing this so we will see.

4. I am also on the food program so we have minimum serving sizes. I was told that as long as the serving size was available to them "as they were serving", then we were meeting the guidelines. So for example since I have 3's and 4's, they have to each have 3/4 cup of milk at lunch. So I have to make sure that when I put the pitchers on the table there is enough there for each child to pour 6 oz of milk. If they choose not to pour it all, that is okay as long as it was offered.

Hope this helps.

[Heidi]

Maybe you could start out with the sitting and eating with them part, then let them start to serve themselves seconds (incentive to eat the 1sts), and then add full family style?

Please double check with your food program on the serving size thing. It seems like the general rule for the other food programs is that it has to be available, not on their plate.

If that's okay'd, put really small amounts on their plates to start. Having too much food on ones plate could overwhelm some kids.

I think you just might want to revamp your meal time. It sounds stressful for you right now, and they can feel it. Meals should be something everyone looks forward to. A relaxed time when we can talk, eat, and enjoy each other's company.

Maybe you could play some classical or nature sounds/classical music at meals, just to change it up. I also read a story at the end of lunch.

As for the "when's lunch" guy....my answer would be "AT 12:00"...the end. He's trying to get your goat lady!

[Country Kids]

Maybe you could start out with the sitting and eating with them part, then let them start to serve themselves seconds (incentive to eat the 1sts), and then add full family style?

Please double check with your food program on the serving size thing. It seems like the general rule for the other food programs is that it has to be available, not on their plate.

If that's okay'd, put really small amounts on their plates to start. Having too much food on ones plate could overwhelm some kids.

I think you just might want to revamp your meal time. It sounds stressful for you right now, and they can feel it. Meals should be something everyone looks forward to. A relaxed time when we can talk, eat, and enjoy each other's company.

Maybe you could play some classical or nature sounds/classical music at meals, just to change it up. I also read a story at the end of lunch.

As for the "when's lunch" guy....my answer would be "AT 12:00"...the end. He's trying to get your goat lady!

I am going to check with my food program today on the serving size and if they have to have it or just available.

We play music everyday during the day. I try to keep lunch time very relaxed and calm as I have a few that won't eat if they get distracted. No extra people in the dining area.

For the one saying their hungry, it doesn't really bother me. What it does is make me wonder! Child had just eaten breakfast (here), then snack and 15 minutes later is asking for lunch which continued for the next 1 1/2 hours. Then when given lunch they won't eat. Not a big child either that needs to consume tons of food either. So why ask for lunch if you have just eaten two things within two hour apart and then not eat it? This is also the child that only take about two sips of milk through the day.

I'm still going to mull it over and think about doing it. Not in any rush, just wanting to see how it worked for others.