Clueless or Rude?

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  • Missani
    Daycare.com Member
    • Dec 2010
    • 214

    Clueless or Rude?

    Okay, I'm not sure if it is just the day I've been having, if this parent is just a little clueless, or if she is being downright rude, but something is really rubbing me the wrong way. I want to get your opinion about it.

    Here's the back story that you need to understand. My DH is a very wonderful man. He is very respectful, has a quiet demeanor, and is extremely involved with my daycare. He cooks all of the food in the morning (every thing is homemade, too) before he goes to work and either puts lunch in a crock pot or gets it ready so that I only have to reheat it, stick it in the oven, etc. Then, he serves breakfast before he goes to work. He is also my emergency back up, so he is willing to take off of work to watch the kids if I have to be gone for any reason. He loves the kids, and greets each one by name in the morning (the kids usually arrive before he leaves for work). He's also great with the parents. The kids and parents all look forward to seeing Mr. "DH" in the morning. Then DH goes to work and gets back right at the same time that I close each night. Since most of my kids leave right at closing time, he is often there to say goodbye to them in the evening as well. Also, my daycare is in my basement, and I rarely even go upstairs at all during the day, except to get the food from the kitchen at the top of the stairs, which only takes a second because DH gets it all prepared for me.

    Okay, so here's the deal. I have one parent who leaves my front door open every time she comes in or out. Wide open. I live in the Midwest, so most of the year it's either cold enough for the furnace or hot enough for the a/c. Also, I never go upstairs during the day, so sometimes it is wide open for half a day or more before I even notice! Not only does it affect the heating/cooling, but it is just UNSAFE! It's bad enough that I usually leave my door unlocked during the day for the parents (I don't like to leave the kids at all...I have a lot of littles and prefer to be within sight of everyone at every moment if I can), but I don't really need to leave it wide open to invite anyone inside. So, not that anyone should have to tell an adult to close a door, but DH asked her if she would please remember to close the door for the comfort and the safety of the kids. I'm sure he asked nicely, I can't imagine he would ask any other way, but she totally scoffed at him. The next time she did it, he just went and closed it, but she was still in the driveway so she saw him. She said, "I guess I do leave that open, don't I?" So, he figured the problem was solved. Well, today, she came in and left it wide open again. He was leaving for work, so he came down to say goodbye to my kids. He looked right at her and said in a nice but direct tone, "Are you going to remember to close the door when you leave or should I teach DCG2 (her daughter) to remind you?" She looked right at him and said, "What's the difference, I'm leaving in like 2 minutes!!! Why shouldn't I leave it open while I'm here?!?" She was ticked! I was proud of DH.

    Same parent, different day. Okay. all of my kids leave at 5:30, which is when I close. I'm not kidding, I have all of my kids except 1 until at least 5:27 every day. Since DH parks in the driveway, he could never get in his spot when he got home, so I just put a quick blurb in the newsletter to park on the opposite side for pickups after 5:15. Perfect, no one had a problem with it, except this parent. She parks there every day. I know she read the newsletter because she asked a question about something else in the same blurb, but she kept doing it. Finally, one day, I asked her to park on the other side. She asked why, and I told her DH needed to be able to get in the driveway, and she said she didn't understand why it was a big deal but said she would. A few days later, she was still doing it every day. DH came in, got a goofy silly look on his face, and said in a silly voice, "Why you parking in my spot?" The parent looked at him and said, "It's NOT YOUR spot!" He said, "Ahhh, you see, it is my spot because it's my house and I pay the mortgage." He wasn't rude, but he wasn't silly anymore either. She said, "Well, it's just a driveway, it's not YOUR spot." That started a battle I guess, because she still parks there EVERY day when she comes at 5:30 on the nose. She also lets her daughter run around our yard/driveway for about 15 minutes because "she doesn't want to get in her carseat," so she is there until at least 5:45-5:50 every single night. As far as DH, he just pretends it doesn't bother him at all and parks in the street every night.

    I'm getting mad! Is it just me? This is ridiculous! She follows "the rules" in other regards (payment, illness policy, etc.) so I don't get it. I think she is just trying, for whatever reason, to disagree with everything DH says. What would you do? Should I let it go? Should I say something else? What? Has this happened to anyone else?
  • Unregistered

    #2
    complete disrespect

    Next time she parks in the driveway, he should block her in.

    Leaving the door open is just a red flag--all kinds of things could happen--you never know.

    I'd term.

    Comment

    • itlw8
      Daycare.com Member
      • Jan 2012
      • 2199

      #3
      she may have forgotten at first but now she is doing it on purpose.

      My dh would have had enough and pull in behind her and then go in the house. He would be too busy to move the car.

      I guess the drive can now be off limits to everyone because of her. say after 5:15 with a fine.
      It:: will wait

      Comment

      • Wigglesandgiggles
        New Daycare.com Member
        • Jun 2012
        • 17

        #4
        If someone disrespected my home, myself, my family, my property, my neighbors, the would be told, very straight forward, "this is my home first, and a daycare second. You WILL respect me, my family, my property, my neighbors, or you WILL find other care." Disrespect, blatant disrespect like that would land her notice, with the promise that even ONE more incident would result in IMMEDIATE termination of care.

        Comment

        • Blackcat31
          • Oct 2010
          • 36124

          #5
          I agree that she may have forgotten the first time or two but now it is blatantly on purpose and downright rude.

          I would absolutely address it and tell her the requests are no longer requests but rules and if she cannot follow the rules, she WILL be terminated. That is so disrespectful of her.....I am so surprised at the non-caring attitude by grown people now days.

          I could think of a million ways to play the same game but that would eb stooping to her level and I like to think I am somewhat mature so I would say something VERY firm and VERY direct to her about this and REQUIRE that she comply from now on. period!


          Oh, and as for the things your DH does for the kids and you (in regards to his cooking and interactions with everyone)....tell him that I think he absolutely ROCKS!!!!!

          Comment

          • shelby
            Daycare.com Member
            • Jun 2012
            • 142

            #6
            She's being a rude little child! My husband would just block her in and then go inside to take a shower and leave her to deal with it!

            Comment

            • daycarediva
              Daycare.com Member
              • Jul 2012
              • 11698

              #7
              1. your dh is AWESOME!
              2. That lady needs a foot up her butt.

              I would have her (yes just her) sign a statement saying that she read the 'rules' and agreed to abide by them. I would even add something about the child's safety in the front of your house!

              My dh would have been NOT SO NICE and probably would have resulted in my terming her immediately.

              Comment

              • cheerfuldom
                Advanced Daycare.com Member
                • Dec 2010
                • 7413

                #8
                agree with all the other ladies. she has found a way to assert herself and this has become a control issue. there is no other option but to lay down the law with no more chances for her to forget....you could also attach inconvenience fees to leaving the door open and parking in the incorrect spaces. she is rude to the max and you are not asking for anything unreasonable.

                Comment

                • MizzCheryl
                  Advanced Daycare.com Member
                  • Mar 2012
                  • 478

                  #9
                  Seems you already Told her the rules and she is choosing not to follow them. I can put up in reguards to me but if a parent chooses to be rude to my husband I would draw the line. I Mam like you Missani, this would really Tick me off! I am willing to bet your sweet hubby doesn't want you to term or cause you stress since he is being so kind about it.
                  I think if some changes didn't happen yesterday I would tell her she was OUT!
                  Not dealing with the stress and drama would be so worth it!
                  Best of luck to ya and please let us know how it turns out.
                  She may be jealous of your wonderful husband
                  Not Clueless anymore

                  Comment

                  • MyAngels
                    Member
                    • Aug 2010
                    • 4217

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Blackcat31
                    I agree that she may have forgotten the first time or two but now it is blatantly on purpose and downright rude.

                    I would absolutely address it and tell her the requests are no longer requests but rules and if she cannot follow the rules, she WILL be terminated. That is so disrespectful of her.....I am so surprised at the non-caring attitude by grown people now days.

                    I could think of a million ways to play the same game but that would eb stooping to her level and I like to think I am somewhat mature so I would say something VERY firm and VERY direct to her about this and REQUIRE that she comply from now on. period!


                    Oh, and as for the things your DH does for the kids and you (in regards to his cooking and interactions with everyone)....tell him that I think he absolutely ROCKS!!!!!
                    Though I would be tempted to leave the door locked and not be able to "hear the doorbell" and have DH block her car in, :: I'm sure I'd opt for BlackCat's approach in the end.

                    Oh, and your DH should get a really big gold star (at the least) for being such a great guy and supporting your business wholeheartedly!

                    Comment

                    • seebachers
                      Mostly lurking member
                      • Jan 2012
                      • 118

                      #11
                      not clueless but extremely rude bordering on biotch status!

                      Comment

                      • Happy Hearts
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • May 2012
                        • 255

                        #12
                        What about a "private parking" sign at the end of the driveway attached to a chair or something big enough that she can't run over.

                        Comment

                        • Breezy
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Jun 2011
                          • 1271

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Sparrow
                          What about a "private parking" sign at the end of the driveway attached to a chair or something big enough that she can't run over.
                          Or a cone!!



                          She is sooo rude!! Your DH sounds amazing!

                          Comment

                          • saved4always
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Dec 2011
                            • 1019

                            #14
                            This really has me feeling outraged for your husband. I could not tolerate any rudeness to my husband by a day care parent. If anyone treated my husband like this in his own home, he/she would be gone, no second chances. There is no way I would allow this to go on. My daycare income in no way has ever come close to paying our mortgage so my husband's income truly does pay it and ALL the spots in HIS driveway belong to HIM (and to me cuz everything of his is mine ). This woman is not clueless...she knows exactly what she is doing and she is being ridiculously rude. I would give her notice. She does not respect you, your husband or your home. Your husband sounds like an awesome person and he deserves respect in his own home.

                            Wow...this really got me mad....probably cuz my dh is also an awesome guy and I would be so upset if one of my parents ever was rude to him.

                            Comment

                            • Crazy8
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • Jun 2011
                              • 2769

                              #15
                              I would give one final written warning on BOTH rules of the house - the door and the driveway - and let her know failure to follow them will result in termination. I don't take terminating care lightly at all but you can mess with ME all you want, but don't mess with my kids OR my DH or there will be trouble!!!

                              Comment

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