Am I Doing Too Little?

[Blackcat31]

Parents provide baby food, formula, diapers, and a change of clothes.

That said, I'm not rigid about it. They were furnishing wipes, but one parent's wipes kept getting cheaper and worse until they were so bad that I'd have had trouble wiping a doll's bottom with them. And I was having to nag both parents to bring them. I keep my own wipes for cleaning and spills and emergencies, and I ended up using them for the kids. I realized that for $2 a week I could buy the kind I wanted and not worry about it, so now I provide them.

They are suppose to supply spare clothes and shoes and coats, sunscreen (1 did, 1 didn't), bathing suit (1 did, 1 didn't), swim diapers (neither), swim shoes (1 did, 1 didn't), etc. I've had these kids long enough to know which battles to fight, and none of these were worth it. I bought spare clothes, swim shoes, tennis shoes, etc at yard sales and keep them here. It's so much easier. I found a huge garbage bag of swim diapers at a rummage sale for a couple of dollars and bought them last winter, so I don't worry about that either. I don't supply formula under any circumstances-it's too expensive. I do keep a couple of cups of baby food here for emergencies though.

As for diapers, I've taken 3 or 4 diapers out of the stockpile for each kid and put them back. That way, if mom forgets diapers, we're ok.

I learned that sometimes, it's just easier to do it all myself than to worry about it. Oh, and I wash my linens.

Sunchimes~ I'm saying this in the most positive way I can and mean no disrespect by it, but you are in an essence enabling these parents by simply supplying things yourself.

It isn't the money. It is the principle. These are grown people who are in charge of another human being's needs and in no way what so ever would I agree to simply say not having to worry about missing items is a fair trade for paying for them myself and excusing the parents for something they should be responsible for.

If you require wipes (or any other supplies) and give a deadline for bringing them, don't allow parents to drop off without the items their child requires.

I can't believe that there really are people out there who have such little regard for providing for their children. That is just so wrong!

$2 or 50 cents is not the issue.....it simply should NOT be your issue.

((((((hugs)))))) Big hugs to you for caring enough to worry about the kids but goodness, it is a shame that you care more about these little people's needs than their own parents do.

This is just another example of how parents now days figure they don't have to worry about anything ....because someone else always will.

[Country Kids]

Heres some things I do:

Laundry all linens (blankets/pillows)
Laundry all changes of clothing and then restock
Trips to the library/fieldtrips
I used to have a lady come in and tell Bible stories once a week. Looking at starting this back up this year.
Hand out flyers for things going on in the community

[Crazy8]

My prices are on the high range for my area, but not unreasonable. And I'm full and turning people away right and left. However, for my high rate, should I be giving parents more "freebies" and conveniences???

For example, does anyone else:
1. Launder kids' sheets/blankets? YES
2. Provide wipes? YES - unless there are allergies
3. Provide sunscreen? YES - unless there are allergies
4. Provide swim diapers? NO

What kinds of conveniences do you give parents? What do you do that just makes it easier and streamlined for you instead of requesting from parents?

My answers are bolded above. I'd say my prices are middle of the road - not really sure as I don't know another home provider anywhere near me. I do those things for my convenience though - over the last few years I just found it to be easier - so parents don't forget their sheet on Mondays, because I want to use a particular brand of wipes and don't want to worry about using extras for hands, the table, etc. and the sunscreen so I don't have 5 bottles here. I don't provide swim diapers because that would be too much of a hassle with different sizes and we don't need them often so one pack per child lasts us the whole summer!

[Sunchimes]

Blackcat, I seldom take offense at anything. Even if you meant it offensively, I probably wouldn't notice. I just always assume people have good intentions, or just worded it funny. Or maybe I'm too lazy to be offended. ::

Anyway, I see what you are saying, and there is some truth to that. But I run my daycare pretty casually--I run my life pretty casually actually. I just have 2 parents since I can only have 3 kids. While they may be lax about bringing things, they make it up in other ways. One brings me things she buys at yard sales and has heard me mention wanting, or she thinks her daughter might enjoy it. Both have been saints about letting me take off when my husband was being tested for cancer and having surgery. I took off 5 days one month, and they never blinked an eye. That's worth a lot of wipes and sunblock to me. One pays me full price on the weeks I don't even see her daughter and never hesitates.

I have a tendency to adopt people, and be adopted. I have faux "grandkids" scattered everywhere, and my daycare families have just joined the crowd in that way. When you get my age, you finally accept that life is too short to worry about the small stuff. There is too much big stuff to worry about!

[Crazy8]

sunchimes.... I often feel the same way you do. When I see posts here about not doing "special" for parents I often ask "why not??". I feel like they chose me over the local centers because I CAN give them and their child more "special" than a center does. And I'm ok with that. I understand people sometimes take advantage and when you give an inch they take a mile, but I have never run into that with my daycare families and I certainly have a pretty strong backbone but I'm also all for making the hustle and bustle of daily life easier for everyone involved. Sure, a parent can take home their sheets and wash them on the weekends and I can make them be responsible for getting them back to me on Monday - or I can just as easily take them off their mats at the end of nap time on Friday and throw them in with my own stuff right then (I'm always running laundry, LOL!) and have them ready to go back on the mats by Saturday morning. Its making it a little easier for my families and they are paying me back in a million different ways - I don't see it as enabling them at all. Blackcat, this isn't to say I disagree with you, I just see the other side of it too and I know I'm appreciated for doing the little things that a center might not do for these kids.

[My3cents]

Blackcat, I seldom take offense at anything. Even if you meant it offensively, I probably wouldn't notice. I just always assume people have good intentions, or just worded it funny. Or maybe I'm too lazy to be offended. ::

Anyway, I see what you are saying, and there is some truth to that. But I run my daycare pretty casually--I run my life pretty casually actually. I just have 2 parents since I can only have 3 kids. While they may be lax about bringing things, they make it up in other ways. One brings me things she buys at yard sales and has heard me mention wanting, or she thinks her daughter might enjoy it. Both have been saints about letting me take off when my husband was being tested for cancer and having surgery. I took off 5 days one month, and they never blinked an eye. That's worth a lot of wipes and sunblock to me. One pays me full price on the weeks I don't even see her daughter and never hesitates.

I have a tendency to adopt people, and be adopted. I have faux "grandkids" scattered everywhere, and my daycare families have just joined the crowd in that way. When you get my age, you finally accept that life is too short to worry about the small stuff. There is too much big stuff to worry about!

wow- talk about inspirational- you sound a lot like me.

Last summer I asked for Sunblock- this year I have provided it. My parents know they should bring it in, but I think they just assumed I was using last years still or just didn't think about it, because they see that I have it. I don't know, but it has not been a big deal for me. I just buy it and use what I want. If they bring it in they know it is a shared product- I know I have been laxed on this, this year.

Wipes- I am big on wipes, I use them for everything and I make no bones about it. I supply them too! My parents are great about bringing these in.
I don't want to think twice if I use one wipe or twenty.

I have my own blankets and bedding and I wash it every friday or as needed. I don't want things going back and fourth. They can leave a special blanket here.

creams- the parents provide and I also have a huge assortment that I supply and use too.

Cups- I supply or they supply and they stay here.

I supply all food-

I also have a small stash of extra clothing for those times in need. I do ask parents to leave me with two sets of play clothes, outside gear.

I pick little stuff up like brush and comb for each child, toothbrush, towel etc. and those stay here.

I put a couple of diapers in my outside bag and leave them there as extra in case we get short. Parents put diapers in the cubbies and they know when they need to replenish- I try to remind when needed.

I also post local events and what not- helps and tips,nutrition information

I too have great parents. They bring me in things for no reason, flowers, a cupcake, little things, and treat me well on holidays and days I take off- like my paid vacations.

key is to be honest and up front from the start, the first interview in how you do things and what your expectations are.

This works for me, I am good to my clients and my clients are good to me. I always do things because I WANT to do them, and for no other reason and it has taken me a while to get here. I never expect back when I do- except the respect of following my daycare rules.

Best-

[youretooloud]

Anyway, I see what you are saying, and there is some truth to that. But I run my daycare pretty casually--I run my life pretty casually actually. I just have 2 parents since I can only have 3 kids. While they may be lax about bringing things, they make it up in other ways. One brings me things she buys at yard sales and has heard me mention wanting, or she thinks her daughter might enjoy it. Both have been saints about letting me take off when my husband was being tested for cancer and having surgery. I took off 5 days one month, and they never blinked an eye. That's worth a lot of wipes and sunblock to me. One pays me full price on the weeks I don't even see her daughter and never hesitates.

I'm also very lax. I do things the same way i'd do them if the kids were my own. It's not hard to have creams and wipes here. I even keep a pack of diapers here just in case.

We just roll with the flow... I rarely feel taken advantage of. I have some who go the extra mile for me, and I go the extra mile for them. I have some that think I am just here because I don't have anything better to do. They do very little for me, very little for their kids....but, in the end, only their kids suffer. Not me, not the other kids... it's all on them later in life.

[Countrygal]

I do the laundry, but only because I do not want to be trying to scrounge blankets when parents forget to bring them on Monday.... :P

Otherwise, all of the other things - sunscreen, wipes, kleenex, etc, we take turns bringing. I also supply insect repellent but only because I've had parents bring 3 different kinds that weren't strong enough, complaining that their kids were getting mosquito bites, and I ended up buying better stuff anyway.

I supply all food, snacks, treats, parents sometimes bring a special treat like cupcakes for a birthday. I provide all toys, equipment, unless they want me to use something special.

For pre-school curriculum they pay for their own child's cost of materials. E.g. if I purchase a certain workbook for each of the three of them to practice small motor skills, each parent pays the price of their child's workbook. I have LOTS of materials that I provide for everyone's use, but individual use items are covered by the parent.

I also have a very small craft fee each month ($5 per child). I supply the rest.

I supply all field trip expenses EXCEPT a few times a year we try to take a big field trip and then they provide some extra money to cover fees and extra food.

[Sunchimes]

I had to laugh at the "small stash of clothes" My3cents. I am a ****er for kids clothes and my grandkids are all too big to buy for now. I can't resist buying the dcks clothes for my spare box. I've had one of my girls since she was 6 mo and one since she was 10 months. I just went through my chest of spares to pull out the things they have outgrown. I have a large garbage bag full of the most adorable little girls things. I have a 6 mo old boy who isn't nearly as much fun to buy for--I just realized that he has outgrown every single thing I had for him in his pile. He just turned 6 mo and wears 12M clothes. I have a ton of 12M clothes, but his daddy would have a fit if I dressed him in pink flowered shirts. ;-)

Now and then I find something really cute and just give it to the moms. Luckily, we all feel the same way about hand-me-downs since I can't resist buying them.

I don't want to give the impression that my moms are perfect and never take advantage--they are human and they do take advantage sometimes. And sometimes, I whine about it because I'm human too. But, I whine about my almost-perfect husband sometimes too! ::

[Blackcat31]

Blackcat, I seldom take offense at anything. Even if you meant it offensively, I probably wouldn't notice. I just always assume people have good intentions, or just worded it funny. Or maybe I'm too lazy to be offended. ::

Anyway, I see what you are saying, and there is some truth to that. But I run my daycare pretty casually--I run my life pretty casually actually. I just have 2 parents since I can only have 3 kids. While they may be lax about bringing things, they make it up in other ways. One brings me things she buys at yard sales and has heard me mention wanting, or she thinks her daughter might enjoy it. Both have been saints about letting me take off when my husband was being tested for cancer and having surgery. I took off 5 days one month, and they never blinked an eye. That's worth a lot of wipes and sunblock to me. One pays me full price on the weeks I don't even see her daughter and never hesitates.

I have a tendency to adopt people, and be adopted. I have faux "grandkids" scattered everywhere, and my daycare families have just joined the crowd in that way. When you get my age, you finally accept that life is too short to worry about the small stuff. There is too much big stuff to worry about!

That is actually awesome!!! .......and completely negates anything I said about enabling or taking advantage.

You aren't simply doing things because daycare parents are lazy but are doing them because it IS or DOES work both ways.

If the daycare families you have are golden, then I absolutely see the value in the trade off you do!

Good for you!

If all parents were like that, then more daycare providers would be more like you! Which is awfully BIG hearted! lovethis

[Blackcat31]

sunchimes.... I often feel the same way you do. When I see posts here about not doing "special" for parents I often ask "why not??". I feel like they chose me over the local centers because I CAN give them and their child more "special" than a center does. And I'm ok with that. I understand people sometimes take advantage and when you give an inch they take a mile, but I have never run into that with my daycare families and I certainly have a pretty strong backbone but I'm also all for making the hustle and bustle of daily life easier for everyone involved. Sure, a parent can take home their sheets and wash them on the weekends and I can make them be responsible for getting them back to me on Monday - or I can just as easily take them off their mats at the end of nap time on Friday and throw them in with my own stuff right then (I'm always running laundry, LOL!) and have them ready to go back on the mats by Saturday morning. Its making it a little easier for my families and they are paying me back in a million different ways - I don't see it as enabling them at all. Blackcat, this isn't to say I disagree with you, I just see the other side of it too and I know I'm appreciated for doing the little things that a center might not do for these kids.

Nope, I don't think you are disagreeing at all. I think you ARE actually right. There is no hard fast rule about doing "special" or rather to not do "special" as that is kind of the point of being self-employed....we get to pick and choose whether or not we do special and for whom and when.

I have done "special" many times before and don't get taken advantage of as I too have a very strong backbone (or maybe just a big mouth....I don't know but either works I guess ).

I have families I would absolutely do stuff for and families I wouldn't dream of giving a millimeter let alone "special". NOT all families are alike and there for being a child care provider enables me to pick and choose which situations work for me and which don't .

I have been burned in the past and there are some hard fast rules I will never break, even if I can....but most of those involve money. But there are some things I have no issue doing either. You get stricter and more ridgid in some areas and softer in others I think the longer you have do this job because your own life goals and priorities change so naturally your rules and policies change at the same time.

The things I would NOT have tolerated a few years ago are not so big deals now but things I let slide years ago, I would not tolerate today, so just like life, this job and the role we play is a constant flow that changes every day.

[momma2girls]

I have families supply baby wipes, diapers, and the parents put on sunscreen on their own children, before coming to daycare on a swim or sprinkler day. I provide am and pm snack, and dinner only.