Forgotten Child....?????

[Blackcat31]

I need to vent so apologies for the length but I need to get this out since I am still so mad.

In all my years as a child care provider, I have NEVER had this happen to me and at first I was bit worried, confused, concerned, anxious and now I am just down right mad!!!!!!

I have a 4 yr old DCG that has been with me since birth (she has a 17 yr old brother I had in care from birth til 8 yrs old too) so I have dealt this family a loooooong time.

Mom works a 2nd shift and does college course work during the day. The DCG comes here everyday from 8-2/2:30. DCG is kind of a dilly daddler so I have her get her shoes on and gather her things about 5 minutes before pick up time so they can go smooth and quick for all. Every once in a while mom has a friend pick up if she (mom) has to go into work earlier but either way, she always tells me if it will be her or the friend picking up. Yesterday was mom's day.

I get busy with the other kids and am prepping for snack when I suddenly realize that it is 2:30 and DCG is still sitting in the cubby room waiting and mom isn't here yet. So I tell DCG to take her shoes back off and come on in to have snack while I try to reach her mom.

I call mom and eventually EVERY person on her contact list and get no one. Not one person who answers their phone!!!! :confused::confused:

I continue calling people until close to 5:00. At that point I finally call my licensor and tell her the deal and to confirm that I will need to call CPS (which I DON'T want to do ......poor DCG). Licensor tells me, that I will have to call if no one comes and/or I can't get ahold of anyone.

I try continuously until 5:15 (I close at 5:30) and feel out of options.

Of course, as I am dialing the number for CPS, guess who shows up? Mom!!! I had left SEVERAL messages on mom's cell and she knew I had already been worried and now beyond angry! She of course said it was a misunderstanding and she thought her friend was coming and blah blah blah...... I was so mad at her!!!!!!

Not because she said she had a misunderstanding with a friend but because I couldn't reach anyone and she really didn't seem concerned about the poor DCG! :confused: Mom honestly acted like it was no big deal

I hardly said much to her yesterday because I was so mad and I didn't want to say anything out of anger but this morning I made it VERY clear to her that this will NOT happen again! She is to have emergency contact numbers that are available and she will communicate to me in person face to face on who is picking up and I will NOT search for her again!!!!!!!!

Who forgets their child????? Thanks for reading if you made it through all of this, I just figured I needed to get it out.....

[Heidi]

I don't know what to say except (hugs). I'm not one to give out a lot of virtual hugs....but that deserves one!

[Daycarelady1979]

Wow. That's insane! Did you charge her for those extra hours?

[Country Kids]

Wow, BlackCat! Have you thought that this is the beginning to the end. Seriously why would this mom not have called you? I would have been furious and let her know it.

That is another reason I do not like cell phones! Either people are at work and can't answer, numbers change all the time, if they don't recongnize your number they won't answer, etc.

I would tell her I need one number that is reliable and if it happens again you will call cps!

[nanglgrl]

wowser!

My heart goes out to you Blackcat! Sadly, I had that happen once so I called the parent (who I had been calling for hours with no answer) using my daughters cell phone....low and behold she picked up on the first ring. Then she tried to act like she was just about to call me...yeah right. My thought was she had something she wanted to do and knew that I would not agree to keeping the child late so she didn't answer her phone. I hope that you and the mother can get it all figured out!

[Lilbutterflie]

Of course, this is speculation; but it sounds like the mom could not find arrangements to have DCG picked up and didn't say a word because she was afraid you would not allow such a late pickup. You hit the nail on the head "Who forgets their child???" I doubt she did. Nanglgrl's experience is probably what happened with you, otherwise surely you would have been able to get a hold of someone during that 3 hour timespan! KWIM?

[Blackcat31]

Thanks ladies! Love the support here!! lovethis

Daycarelady1979~ I charged her the normal late fee but this mom is, shall we say "embedded in the system" and NONE of her fees/charges come from her wallet....iykwim.

Country~ Yes, mom knows under no uncertain terms that I will NOT put up with this again and I will surely never wait that long again either before I call CPS. She will be here on time, every.single.time or she will have no daycare anymore.

This mom has a work number but she works in a place where you really can't get anyone (human) as the staff is out of the building alot with clients and the admin dept will pass along messages but you can't directly reach an employee. I am sure there is a way to reach a person but I couldn't even get through to the office in the first place. They were apprently having some work done and the phone was busy every time I tried to call.

I do believe she had a friend lined up to pick up and what happened to the friend, I don't know or care. I was just so frustrated and mad that I couldn't reach ANYONE....it was like they had all dissappeared at one time (I gotta stop reading Stephen King books....LOL!) and each unanswered call I got made me even more mad.

I guess I just figured as a parent I would be a whole lot more concerned about my child getting to and from somewhere safely when I am not the one transporting. I would have called and double checked that she was picked up ok and also to see how her (dcg) day went. I mean basically mom dropped her off at 8 and wasn't going to see her again until late in the evening when she got done with work. What long day for poor DCG.

SHE was my main concern as I couldn't imagine what she was feeling or thinking about why she was forgotten.

[nanglgrl]

::::"Stephen King books"::::

[dave4him]

Seems like those who are on DHS payments tend to take advantrage of it

[My3cents]

Blackcat your rules are clearly spelled out for the parents, verbal, handbook/rulebook and contract- I have no doubt in my mind that this mom could have cared less and has no value to your daycare and what you do. Where was she? What did she say and if she got your message why wouldn't she call you and tell you to prevent worry, instead of casually showing up? I bet her back up flaked on her and she just used you to make sure her child had the care- What did she have to say about all of this?

[daycarediva]

My thought is, what if you were calling because DCG had been seriously injured?! OMG! That is just awful! I wait 30 minutes (per my registrar's instructions) before calling CPS. I hope that day never comes because calling CPS is never a call I want to be forced to make! That poor little girl!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Oh dear.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Wow. Unreal! You must have been so freaked out!
Sorry that happened!
P.s Stephen King lives in my town! In the winter at least cuz nobody in their right mind summers here!::

[familyschoolcare]

Just a sujestion for "next" time and everyone else (hop there is not a next time) It might have moring meaning to Mom if you tell her that her child was worried. HAd this experience first hand when I worked at the center

[Oneluckymom]

So sorry you went through that Blackcat.
It must have been soooo stressfull !! Hopefully she got the message that you are serious about it not happening again.