Death in the Family....

[Golden Rule]

I have just had a death in the family, it was expected.The parents are aware we have been caring for him on the weekends, when Hospice is unavailable, as he quickly became "full care" (alzheimers).

I just recieved the call that the memorial will be next Tuesday (2 hours away). Obviously I will be going to spend the weekend with family, and will pay my respects in that manner(cooking, cleaning, etc), as well.

I fully intend to be here, open for business, Monday.

My question is "is it appropriate to close for the day Tuesday to attend the service"? Is this enough notice? I really feel I should be there with my husband and children, but do not want to leave the parents in a bind. I have never been left without backup plan before... My family IS my backup.

How would you handle this?

[Greenshadow]

A death in the family is one of the biggest main reasons to close without much notice. You werent given much so they cant expect you to give them much. I would not be upset as a parent if you told me that you were closed on Tuesday due to a death in the family and I wouldnt hesitate to close down on that day either as a provider. People understand. Or they should.

[momofboys]

I have just had a death in the family, it was expected.The parents are aware we have been caring for him on the weekends, when Hospice is unavailable, as he quickly became "full care" (alzheimers).

I just recieved the call that the memorial will be next Tuesday (2 hours away). Obviously I will be going to spend the weekend with family, and will pay my respects in that manner(cooking, cleaning, etc), as well.

I fully intend to be here, open for business, Monday.

My question is "is it appropriate to close for the day Tuesday to attend the service"? Is this enough notice? I really feel I should be there with my husband and children, but do not want to leave the parents in a bind. I have never been left without backup plan before... My family IS my backup.

How would you handle this?

Well a death in the family is something you can't plan in advance. I say you definitely need to take the day off. That is precisely why DCP need to have their own back-up plan in place. I am so sorry for your loss! My dad passed away from Alzheimer's a few months back. I did take 3 days off although one of those days was a holiday (President's Day) so my family already was off that day. It is totally appropriate to close. Again you have my sincere sympathy.

[tymaboy]

I agree it is acceptable to take 2 or more (if needed) for a death. I took almost a week off when my grandfather died. He also lived in another state & different time zone. Earlier this yr I took 2 days off to morn my dog. The parents were very understanding during both times.

[Golden Rule]

Thank you! I will start making the calls, now....

[boysx5]

I just had to do this four weeks ago my sister in law was killed in a car crash so of course unexpected and I had to travel to CT to attend the funeral and be with my brother who's wife it was. All my families understood and I only took off one day because it was on a weekend. I just let them know as soon as it happened so I could tell them to make other plans

[momma2girls]

Every daycare parents should have more than one back up or fillin plan, for things that happen- I have been lucky in over 6 yrs. I have not had to take off(sick or emergency, etc.) except for Holidays and my vac. days. If I had to though, I'd hope all my parents would have a couple of back up plans! Take care!

[Golden Rule]

I called everyone and they were all very understanding and supportive.

One even offered to keep others in her home for moms whom could not find a back-up. I just told her she was welcomed to offer that herself..... (I don't want in the middle of arranging all of that while taking care of things for my Aunt..)

Thank you, again.....

[originalkat]

I called everyone and they were all very understanding and supportive.

One even offered to keep others in her home for moms whom could not find a back-up. I just told her she was welcomed to offer that herself..... (I don't want in the middle of arranging all of that while taking care of things for my Aunt..)

Thank you, again.....

I am glad it has worked out Golden.

[melskids]

i am going through this right now. my FIL was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor and they gave him a "few weeks to a few months". i gave all of my parents a heads up that i may need some time off. they all know him, (he's been a big part of the daycare) and are all understanding, which i am grateful. although it is a tough situation, because it is not something you can plan, and i dont want to leave anyone in a bind, i have no problem taking time off to either help care for him, or for the funeral when the time comes. it is more important to me to be there for him, and my husband when he needs me to be.

goldenrule....i am sorry for your loss, and you have my deepest sympathy.

[misol]

Sorry for your loss GoldenRule. I agree with pp in that a death in the family is a legitimate reason for closing on short notice.

Kudos to the mom that offered to be the backup!

[Daycare Mommy]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Golden. You and your family are in my prayers.

[Golden Rule]

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts and prayers. The Memorial Service is tomorrow and the parents have all made arrangements.

I did end up with a few coming early today, one extra sibling, a few more staying late... as they work out various backup plans (sleep-overs with Grandparents, etc). But, all in all, the short notice closure was mostly painless. (They have had my yearly closure calendar since January and are used to no surprises.)

I wanted to add that I am grateful to this forum as a resource and psuedo-backbone when I need one... I look forward to a few quiet moments to drop-in for a sanity visit....::

[Golden Rule]

I had to update as I am just so dissappointed and hurt right now.....

All but one of my DCP asked for a "closure" discount because I had to close one day for the funeral....with a 4 day notice.

[Michael]

Sorry to hear that. It's a sign of the times. They are treating you as a business and not as a person. Empathy is a gift sometimes not to be expected.