Wants to term family, but I feel really bad!!

[Southernmama]

I have a highmaintence infant screamer who is about to make me lose my ever loving mind. She is 6 mths old and SCREAMS if not being held when awake or if she doesn't have your undivided attention every moment she is awake. Her screams are high pitch bloody murder screams. I have had her since April and wanted to term after like the 3rd week when I realized this was going to be an everyday thing. Then I thought well maybe it will get better as she gets older. Um not so far. Mom picks her up close to the end of nap time for my toddlers. I'm constantly trying to keep her from screaming during nap so she doesn't wake the others. I have great nappers when things are calm and quiet. I'm completely burnt out with this child, which is causing lots of anxiety and irritability. I can see it effecting how I am as a mom to my dd and a care giver to my toddlers. I don't like it. It's not who I am! My problem though I did the big no no and made friends with dcm, I didn't know it could be bad thing until I found this board. (I've learned lots here ). Anyway I don't know who to do or even what to say to her. I tell my dh i want to term and he makes me feel guilty because dcm loves my daycare etc. ugh I was trying to think of things I could do to make her want to leave.but not sure what I could do.. Any ideas on that one? I soooo wish she would leave voluntarily. I just can't do this anymore, my emotions are shot! 1 good thing has come from this and that's that I know I will NEVER care for someone elses infant again in my daycare only 1yrs and up.
Ahhhhh I'm sooo frustrated!!

[momofsix]

I have a highmaintence infant screamer who is about to make me lose my ever loving mind. She is 6 mths old and SCREAMS if not being held when awake or if she doesn't have your undivided attention every moment she is awake. Her screams are high pitch bloody murder screams. I have had her since April and wanted to term after like the 3rd week when I realized this was going to be an everyday thing. Then I thought well maybe it will get better as she gets older. Um not so far. Mom picks her up close to the end of nap time for my toddlers. I'm constantly trying to keep her from screaming during nap so she doesn't wake the others. I have great nappers when things are calm and quiet. I'm completely burnt out with this child, which is causing lots of anxiety and irritability. I can see it effecting how I am as a mom to my dd and a care giver to my toddlers. I don't like it. It's not who I am! My problem though I did the big no no and made friends with dcm, I didn't know it could be bad thing until I found this board. (I've learned lots here ). Anyway I don't know who to do or even what to say to her. I tell my dh i want to term and he makes me feel guilty because dcm loves my daycare etc. ugh I was trying to think of things I could do to make her want to leave.but not sure what I could do.. Any ideas on that one? I soooo wish she would leave voluntarily. I just can't do this anymore, my emotions are shot! 1 good thing has come from this and that's that I know I will NEVER care for someone elses infant again in my daycare only 1yrs and up.
Ahhhhh I'm sooo frustrated!!

Your answer could be right in your post!
"I'm sorry I won't be able to keep Precious in my program anymore. I've decided to make a change and I'm only going to watch kids over a year old."
You can give her the number to your local referral agency if you want to help her out that way.

[wahmof3]

I have a highmaintence infant screamer who is about to make me lose my ever loving mind. She is 6 mths old and SCREAMS if not being held when awake or if she doesn't have your undivided attention every moment she is awake. Her screams are high pitch bloody murder screams. I have had her since April and wanted to term after like the 3rd week when I realized this was going to be an everyday thing. Then I thought well maybe it will get better as she gets older. Um not so far. Mom picks her up close to the end of nap time for my toddlers. I'm constantly trying to keep her from screaming during nap so she doesn't wake the others. I have great nappers when things are calm and quiet. I'm completely burnt out with this child, which is causing lots of anxiety and irritability. I can see it effecting how I am as a mom to my dd and a care giver to my toddlers. I don't like it. It's not who I am! My problem though I did the big no no and made friends with dcm, I didn't know it could be bad thing until I found this board. (I've learned lots here ). Anyway I don't know who to do or even what to say to her. I tell my dh i want to term and he makes me feel guilty because dcm loves my daycare etc. ugh I was trying to think of things I could do to make her want to leave.but not sure what I could do.. Any ideas on that one? I soooo wish she would leave voluntarily. I just can't do this anymore, my emotions are shot! 1 good thing has come from this and that's that I know I will NEVER care for someone elses infant again in my daycare only 1yrs and up.
Ahhhhh I'm sooo frustrated!!

Welcome

Let me tell you that I have been there. DCM was a dear friend of mine & I was just honest with her....... I can't do it anymore. Well she has just started talking to me and its been a couple years.

I have found you have to do whats BEST FOR YOU!!! Sometimes I wish I would've have lied a little to the mom, you know sugar coated why I couldn't do it anymore BUT I couldn't do it for 1 more day let alone 2 more weeks.

Good luck, I only accept infants now if the family is already established in my program.

[daycarediva]

I ended up having to term the screamer and really liked the Mom. I just was honest. I can't do this anymore and didn't think my home with group care was the best fit.

[Breezy]

I have a Screamer too and she has been on vacation all week and it has been amazing!!!!! DH has even noticed a change in my mood. He sees me smile and I am sweeter he says. My patience is so much better as well and he has been staying up later just to spend time with me because I am more pleasant

My Screamer will be termed as soon as she gets back from vacation.

[brookeroo]

I have a screamer as well. Blood curdling shrieking and all... It is definitely more relaxed when he is not here. His mother is a good friend of mine though. He is breast fed and I believe they co-sleep often. He is also 4 months old and weighs the same amount as my 10 month old daughter.

I pray it will get better. 2 months....no progress yet.

[Annalee]

A few years ago, I also had an infant that cried continuously. It was a family member as well. I dealt with this for nine months. When discussing this with my child care mentor, she explained how the adjustment period for children is ten to twelve weeks. If a child has not adjusted in this time-frame, rarely will they ever adjust. I then had a meeting with the parents of this child expressing the need for them to find other child care while giving them the website to find quality care. Sure, it was hard for both of us and still causes some tension since it dealt with family. However, I grew up as a provider during this time learning that it was OK to admit this just wasn't working and to be honest with myself for the benefit of the children in my care.

[Blackcat31]

I ended up having to term the screamer and really liked the Mom. I just was honest. I can't do this anymore and didn't think my home with group care was the best fit.

A few years ago, I also had an infant that cried continuously. It was a family member as well. I dealt with this for nine months. When discussing this with my child care mentor, she explained how the adjustment period for children is ten to twelve weeks. If a child has not adjusted in this time-frame, rarely will they ever adjust. I then had a meeting with the parents of this child expressing the need for them to find other child care while giving them the website to find quality care. Sure, it was hard for both of us and still causes some tension since it dealt with family. However, I grew up as a provider during this time learning that it was OK to admit this just wasn't working and to be honest with myself for the benefit of the children in my care.

Welcome to the forum dapb45! I upgraded your status so you cna post freely now

both these ladies are correct....be honest. It will be more beneficial to not only you as a professional person but to the mother of this child so she is aware of how her actions at home affect others.

I too had a screamer....I didn't stop taking babies under 1 year old though, I just learned to not take ones who scream all day to be held.

Honesty is the best policy. People will respect you more and you will feel better about it all in the end if you are simply honest.

[pootmcgoot]

Been there. Termed a month ago. It took 2 weeks of vacation and no kids to get my normal self back. I didnt realize how nuts he made me til I had quit!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

There have been a lot of posts about screamers.

https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=screamer

Good luck! No one deserves to feel on edge and maxed out at their job. ((hugs))

[momma2girls]

I had a couple of babies also that had colic bad!! I termed after the 2 weeks trial was over on the first child. The next one was coming 3 days per week, so I let it go on for over a month, and I finally termed!!! WOW!!! Once you term, it will be like a WHOLE NEW WORLD!!!! It is not fair to you, your family, the other families, the other children in daycare!!!

[cheerfuldom]

I learned the hard way too when I was a newbie....dont take kids that **** the joy out of your job and your life. I still take infants but term immediately if I can tell their personality does not mesh with the environment. I have a 4 month old here now that is a delight. Not every baby is a high needs crier.