What To Do With A Very Strong Willed Child?

[Heidi]

The child is 3 and gets here between 7 - 7:30. When the child finally played today we made a huge tower out of cube plastic blocks and then played with wooden blocks... the child had a blast and I made nice comments to the child about how they were playing . I think the child has a problem being asked to do anything and acts like this over everything. The child will scream and cry like I'm going to give in and let them get away without cleaning or having to listen (which has never happened).

I do allow the special nap item in the morning while the child was resting but once everyone is up and everyone is playing the item goes in cubby until nap time. I'm not sure if the child would have a problem napping if they laid on my couch all day. I've never allowed it. This problem started yesterday when asked to get up and play and that's also when I stopped the TV watching.

I like the idea of giving the child a choice of either letting them go to the cry mat or play. It doesn't bother me that the child crys and if thats where the child wants to be then I guess I'll allow it. But what happens when we go outside??? I like to be outside right after breakfast to it's not to hot yet. I can't leave the child inside unattended. I also love the idea of doing something special while the child wants to sit there. I won't make a big fuss but doing something special for breakfast or a special craft.

Thank You!

If you go outside, then give him a crying spot there.

Our crying spot is the bottom step. Since I have one in the house and outside, it works well.

As far as the couch or the crying spot, it doesn't really matter. I suggested leaving him on the couch in the hopes that your family would get some peace in the wee hours, but in the long run, it's whatever works for you!

[Blackcat31]

But what happens when we go outside??? I like to be outside right after breakfast to it's not to hot yet. I can't leave the child inside unattended. I also love the idea of doing something special while the child wants to sit there. I won't make a big fuss but doing something special for breakfast or a special craft.

Thank You!

Go anyways. Tell the child that you are all going outside and because you can't leave him alone inside he will have to come outside too but he doesn't have to play if he doesn't want to.

He can sit just the same as he does inside. Just like inside, make it a non-issue.

[My Lil' Monkeys]

If you go outside, then give him a crying spot there.

Our crying spot is the bottom step. Since I have one in the house and outside, it works well.

As far as the couch or the crying spot, it doesn't really matter. I suggested leaving him on the couch in the hopes that your family would get some peace in the wee hours, but in the long run, it's whatever works for you!

Thank You !!

[My Lil' Monkeys]

Go anyways. Tell the child that you are all going outside and because you can't leave him alone inside he will have to come outside too but he doesn't have to play if he doesn't want to.

He can sit just the same as he does inside. Just like inside, make it a non-issue.

Thank You!!

[daycare]

Thank You!!

Agree 100% make it a non issue..

I have a lot of strong willed children in my care. I love giving the options to them. All you have to do each time that they are struggling with anything, is give them TWO realistic options. Important thing to do is NOT change the tone of your voice.

Johnny, I understand that you feel like watching tv right now, but that is not an option. Would you like to play blocks or read a book.

Johhny: I don't want to read a book or play blocks.

Provider: Ok so what would you like to do?

Johnny: I just want to scream I am so mad or child does this with out words

Provider: Johnny, I see that you are crying, so lets go sit on the crying mat. Place child and tell him, I am so sorry that you could not make a good decision yourself, so you can sit here until you are ready to make a good decision. I really want for you to have fun with us Johnny, so I hope you make a good decision soon and walk away.

I have to do this daily at least 5 times a day when new kids start that are a challenge. I don't have to do this much anymore becuase all of my kids have been with me for awhile and know I don't have false threats..

My Motto....kids who don't listen, don't get to have any fun. I will do anything and everything in my power to help you have fun and all you have to do is listen.

[Heidi]

Agree 100% make it a non issue..

I have a lot of strong willed children in my care. I love giving the options to them. All you have to do each time that they are struggling with anything, is give them TWO realistic options. Important thing to do is NOT change the tone of your voice.

Johnny, I understand that you feel like watching tv right now, but that is not an option. Would you like to play blocks or read a book.

Johhny: I don't want to read a book or play blocks.

Provider: Ok so what would you like to do?

Johnny: I just want to scream I am so mad or child does this with out words

Provider: Johnny, I see that you are crying, so lets go sit on the crying mat. Place child and tell him, I am so sorry that you could not make a good decision yourself, so you can sit here until you are ready to make a good decision. I really want for you to have fun with us Johnny, so I hope you make a good decision soon and walk away.

I have to do this daily at least 5 times a day when new kids start that are a challenge. I don't have to do this much anymore becuase all of my kids have been with me for awhile and know I don't have false threats..

My Motto....kids who don't listen, don't get to have any fun. I will do anything and everything in my power to help you have fun and all you have to do is listen.

You have way more patience than I do! Here's how it would go here:

Heidi: Johnny, I understand that you feel like watching tv right now, but that is not an option. You need to go find something else to do. Lets go see what's in the playroom.

Johhny: I don't want to.

Heidi: Well, then you can go sit on the step until you decide you'd like to play. (lead to step gently)

Johhny: I don't want to.

Heidi: well, those are your choices...sit or play (walk away)

When the child comes into playroom...(and they always do.....bwahaha)

Heidi: "Oh, I am so glad you decided to join us".


I do admire your patience, Daycare!