Should I Quit Daycare To Get Pregnant?

[dls]

I am in a delima. I am getting married soon and since I am pushing it in age we are talking about getting pregnant pretty soon afterwards god willing.

I have done in home daycare for 3 years. I have a steady group of parents and a waiting list. So I am full, making a good living. Problem is it is very stressful.

Now that I will be moving in with husband he is not thrilled with the mess and noise 4 kids will bring. He makes great money and wants me to wind down or only take one kid and take care of myself. Rest, go to gym, destress, garden, cook etc.

I am trying to figure out what to do, oneone hand I would love to become the domestic goddess and eventually stay at home mom, on the other it will be hard to walk away from a thriving business and the kids. I have some health problems with anxiety and thyroid and need to loose about 20 lbs and that is hard to do when you are too tired to go work out at the gym, the kids wear me out.

So has anyone quit daycare to focus on their family. I just invision babies crying as I am trying to feed my personal, or being bitchy and tired pregnant and the last thing I want to do is bend over a 100 times a day to pick up multiple babies and toddlers.

I am also worried the stress will impact the baby negatively, I have seen stressed out moms create stressed out kids. I don't want to do that to my kid. Just torn, any advice is appreciated.

[brookeroo]

Man you won't get much help from me I guess. Your husband just gave you the golden egg! I would go with his plan if my husband offered me that in a heartbeat!

[Breezy]

You can ALWAYS go back to daycare!! Like the previous poster said if I could do that I would in a heart beat!!!!!

[pootmcgoot]

I'd jump on your husbands offer. Babies are always born and parents always need care. You can go back if you feel a calling to it after your new family is settled.

[Daycarelady1979]

I just had a baby in February & I can tell you I hated doing daycare while I was pregnant. Everything the parents did (or didn't do) made me so annoyed. I especially got mad when parents would bring their kids to the daycare with a fever or some illness & just expect me to deal with it...no regard at all for my pregnancy or unborn child. It was also VERY difficult to find a backup person to help with kids when I had all those doctors appointments. It starts out as once a month, then every 2 weeks, then once a week by the end of the pregnancy. I even had a daycare kid hit me in the stomach twice while pregnant (not hard, but still...) My husband & I tried for 8 years to have this baby & I felt like I couldn't even enjoy being pregnant because I was always dealing with other people's kids. Maybe I'm just not a very happy pregnant lady.... Also, something to think about, when I mentioned a 6 week maternity leave, the daycare families started dropping like flies. They don't want to transition their kids somewhere else for 6 weeks & then transition back to you (in my case anyway). When I came back to work after having my baby I was pumping exclusively & giving my son breastmilk in bottles. I quickly found that I did not have the time or the privacy to pump during daycare hours. My milk supply went way down & I ended up switching to formula much sooner than I had wanted to.

If I were you, I'd take my husband's offer!! Maybe after you have a child that is a little older & you don't have to worry about breastfeeding & such you could start up the daycare again? I originally started mine when my older son was 10 months old & it was PERFECT for our family. Good luck to you in whatever you choose!

[Jenniferdawn]

Oh my gosh! For me, there would be no question what I would do. What a gift to be able to quit to focus on your family and your health. This may be your only chance to have a family of your own. Family lasts forever but daycare is just a job.

[Michelle]

I would do it in a heartbeat!
I was pregnant with my last baby and working the whole time and I developed toxemia,had an emergency delivery,then went back to work 5 days later and a mom brought her kids to daycare sick. My newborn baby ended up in the hospital for a week with a high fever, I.V.'s , spinal tap, the works!
So , if you want to become pregnant and your husband makes enough money, then go for it! happyface

[DCBlessings27]

Since you said you were pushing it in age, I'd do what your future husband asks and reduce your daycare or quit altogether. I'm pregnant now, and I've been loving having 5 kids (usually only 4 as my cousin shows up infrequently) this summer instead of my normal 6. It helps too that the kids I care for are 3-4 except for a 19month. I should be getting a newborn in the next month or so, and I am not looking forward to it as much as I thought.

If you are pushing it in age, then you might have more frequent doctor appointments. I think they monitor more closely when the mom is older (I'm under 30 though, so I'm not sure). If you already have health problems, I would think you would want to de-stress as much as possible. I had some high blood pressure issues at the end of my first pregnancy that caused my dd to come a little earlier than expected, and I'm hoping I won't have problems again.

Like the others' said, you can start the daycare back up later if you miss it. I'm fortunate enough that my husband currently makes enough that my daycare income goes into the bank to pay off car/student loans debt and allows us to take nice vacations. Sometimes, though, I think that I wouldn't mind just being a stay-at-home mom. However, my dd (3) loves her friends too much for me to quit.

[cheerfuldom]

I guess I dont understand the drive to continue a business that you no longer need financially.

I have been thru 2.5 pregnancies (am 23 weeks now) and it is hard but certainly not impossible. I do it because I have to though. My husband and I would both love me to quit and focus on just our family. Why make the sacrifice if you dont need to? With your experience, you can easily work part time taking care of kids somewhere outside of the home and just change your life course. You could always go back to daycare down the road but if you have a chance to focus on yourself, your new hubby, a future baby, why are not just taking this opportunity and running with it?

Girl, if my new hubby was offering me some major "me time" to prep for building our family, hell yes I would be all over that!!!

[daycarediva]

I found it funny that your future husband is concerned about the mess and noise kids bring, while you're trying to get pregnant.

That being said. Daycare is a job. Your family is a forever thing. You can always pick up a kid or two if you really do love it after your family is settled and you have had time to enjoy your prenancy and little one!

[Country Kids]

Please take your husband up on what he has said. That was my husbands wish and we/he worked for years so I could be a stay at home mom. We were so close to it-then he lost his job. He wasn't out of work long but we are basically starting over with his salary. We went backwards not forwards and it takes both of us working now to pay the bills.

[Unregistered]

I guess I am concerned about catching up for retirement, paying off one of my mortgages. I have two and he has one mortgage.

As far as the mess I can see how that would be funny. But a mess for daycare and all the equipment is far more stuff than 1 infant. Plus since I deal mostly with infants the spit up on everything, the messy eaters, sticky fingers on the walls x4. It all adds up and the noise when he wants to work from home and it's crazy noisy sometimes one starts they all start crying sometimes.

You all brought up some great points. One I didn't think of is sick kids and how they could impact me and my baby at least while I am pregnant/newborn. I also was really worried about not being able to breastfeed and also sleep in when tired and rest just so I don't begin to resent and be pissed for being pregnant.

You all have really helped out alot, I am really leaning to the staying home with no kids to get ready to be pregnant and while pregnant and after for a bit. You all are right I can start up if I want to again later, I have learned alot and know I could do it again if I wanted to at a future date.

Keep any new ideas coming, I know there are things I didn't think about that need to be considered.

[SunshineMama]

I am in a delima. I am getting married soon and since I am pushing it in age we are talking about getting pregnant pretty soon afterwards god willing.

I have done in home daycare for 3 years. I have a steady group of parents and a waiting list. So I am full, making a good living. Problem is it is very stressful.

Now that I will be moving in with husband he is not thrilled with the mess and noise 4 kids will bring. He makes great money and wants me to wind down or only take one kid and take care of myself. Rest, go to gym, destress, garden, cook etc.

I am trying to figure out what to do, oneone hand I would love to become the domestic goddess and eventually stay at home mom, on the other it will be hard to walk away from a thriving business and the kids. I have some health problems with anxiety and thyroid and need to loose about 20 lbs and that is hard to do when you are too tired to go work out at the gym, the kids wear me out.

So has anyone quit daycare to focus on their family. I just invision babies crying as I am trying to feed my personal, or being bitchy and tired pregnant and the last thing I want to do is bend over a 100 times a day to pick up multiple babies and toddlers.

I am also worried the stress will impact the baby negatively, I have seen stressed out moms create stressed out kids. I don't want to do that to my kid. Just torn, any advice is appreciated.

If I was in your shoes and had the choice, I would quit in a heartbeat. I can't wait for the day when dh comes home and says he got a promotion and I dont have to work anymore.

I am 3 1/2 months pregnant. I am very worried about the stress effects to the baby. I got rid of the worst culprit, but I have a few other stressful kids here. I can feel my body reacting to the stress and have to force myself to calm down from it. Today, a little girl bit her brother, took toys from my 1 year old, and repeatedly hit my 4 year old. She refused to listen to anything and was a pain in the butt all day, and I had to swallow my stress and stay calm, which takes a lot of energy. My other family was supposed to come at 7:30, then text me at 9:00 saying they would be late, then text me at 11:30 saying they were not coming. They were rude and inconsiderate My body needed that extra sleep and I didnt get it because of that rude, inconsiderate family. I am praying that my baby isn't a cranky angry kid for life because of the stress of doing daycare while pregnant.

Sorry that turned into kind of a vent. My point is: if you can and your dh is on board, if it were me, I would definitely quit. Daycare holds me back from doing things with my own kids that I want to do.

[SunshineMama]

I would do it in a heartbeat!
I was pregnant with my last baby and working the whole time and I developed toxemia,had an emergency delivery,then went back to work 5 days later and a mom brought her kids to daycare sick. My newborn baby ended up in the hospital for a week with a high fever, I.V.'s , spinal tap, the works!
So , if you want to become pregnant and your husband makes enough money, then go for it! happyface

That is my worst nightmare! People are so rude! I cant believe she brought a sick baby near your newborn. I'm due late Dec/early Jan, and I am having a policy that states, "You will be terminated immediately for bringing a sick child around my newborn."

[itlw8]

I love what I do but if financially we could afford for me not to work I would grab it. Go volunteer with kids. rock babies at the hospital, teach school kids to garden enjoy it a baby will tie you down in the future... Then later start a play group with your own child.