What Would You Have Done?? (Sorry Long!)

[Persephone]

So I'm watching a sibling set for the summer. (Age 5 and 9) The whole reason I wanted school ages was to be able to do field trips and do things with my son yet for the summer.

So today I had planned a trip to the zoo (hour and half drive) the 9 year old was not going to be here because she was going to a friends house. So just the 5 year old boy.

So off we go to the zoo. We are about 10 mins from the zoo (hour and half from home) and the kid PUKES in the car! Doesn't say a word! I just hear this odd sound (not really a puke sound) and I say "What was that?" nothing...."who made that sound" and my son says "It was him". And I'm saying to not making funny sounds while I'm busy in traffic and I glance back and see puke all over him.

He does it like 3 or 4 more times before I get pulled over somewhere. I was not too happy that he didn't say anything, like he didn't feel good or was going to be sick. I'd get that from a 3 year old but a 5 year old! Come on!

So any ways I call the mom and tell her. And she tells me that he gets car sick and forgot to tell me!! But normally it's only when they drive like 2 and half hours.

I was not too happy!

He told me he didn't feel good. So she called the dad to drive to come get him.

The dad wanted me to sit in the parking lot at the zoo while he drove an hour and half to get him!!! There was no way my son was going to sit in the car and do nothing for that long after we just sat there that long driving there!! Let alone did I want too...or make my son do that!

So I told the dad that I was going to go ahead in the zoo and I would meet him at the gate when he got there. (Or I could meet him half way but they would need to pay my gas since I didn't want to drive that far and back again...because I was not going to have my son screaming because we changed plans on going to the zoo)

Dad was not too happy that I was going to go ahead into the zoo! But what the heck was I suppose to do??

I had a change of pants for the boy, since he had swim trucks on to play in the splash park at the zoo. But he had no shirt. Which the zoo said that he did not need one. (or I would have bought one at the gift shop and charged the family)

The dad came and ended up paying for himself to stay at the zoo with the boy. I felt bad since he seemed find after about and hour or so. Up till that point he was very quite and at lunch he ate VERY little.

So I don't know if he was sick or just from the car! Did I do the right thing by asking for him to be picked up?? I didn't want him puking in my car on the way home!!

I don't know what to do now for the summer...we have plans to go places! And most are an hour so so drive!!

[Former Teacher]

Yes you did the right thing. However I would suggest to the mother that since he gets car sick that maybe she finds other care for him on field trip days as its not fair to him if he can't go. Or maybe there is car sickness medicine?

Yes you did the right thing. I would have done that as well. Whatever you do, DO NOT CHANGE YOUR PLANS because of this one child. Its not fair to your son.

Good luck

[Lianne]

If it were me, once the mother said the kid gets car sick I'd have just continued on with our outing. I wouldn't have insisted on him being picked up as long as he perked up and was able to enjoy the zoo.I would have bagged the dirty clothes and bought a t-shirt from the gift shop, letting mom know she'd be reimbursing me for it. I'd also buy Gravol or an anti-nausea med at the gift shop or a store on the way home to keep him from throwiong up again on the way home. If there was vomit in the car anywhere then his parents would be paying to have it detailed and they'd know that I wasn't impressed to not have known about the car sickness before the trip. From then on I'd keep the anti-nausea wrist bands or meds on hand for the next day trip.

[Persephone]

Thanks for the replies. The Child didn't really perk up to much until about an hour into the zoo and then more once the dad got there. So up till that point it was hard to say? So if things would have took a turn for the worse...with him puking at the zoo we would have had to wait another hour and half for someone to come to get him at that point.

I am going to talk to the mom tomorrow and let her know that she will need to give him an anti-nausea med about an hour before any long trip, in the morning before she brings him. So that it will not happen again. And provide me with some to give him for the return trip if it only last say 4 hours.

I figured that I would have to talk to her about other plans if it happens again. She'll have to use her back up sitter on the days that we take long trips. (would I still charge her for that day? )

Next week we HAVE to go on a hour long trip because my son has a dentist appointment that day in that town (which just takes like 30 or less because we are first of the day) Then we were going to make a day out of it there. And I can't deal with a puke in a car that day when I have to be somewhere at a certain time.

It's one thing when it's your own kids puke...but someone elses puke...I can't deal with that well. Not older kids like that. I worked in a daycare center for 13 years but with mostly younger chidlren (1 and 2) and I could handle that...but a bigger kid should be able to tell you.

[misol]

Uggghhh! Firstly, the mom should have told you that the kid gets carsick!!! How can a parent forget that??

Secondly, yes a 5 year old should be able to tell you when he isn't feeling well. My son is 3.5 and he tells me when he feels sick. Sometimes it's still too short notice for me to react, but my point is that he recognizes the feeling of being nauseous. And at the VERY least, if the dcb couldn't tell you it was coming he is definitely able to tell you after it happened!!! Is he normally a good communicator?

You were absolutely right in asking for him to be picked up after he vomited 4 times! Definitely tell the mom that the carsickness is going to be an issue since you take field trips often during the summer. You might just have to tell her that she has to keep him home on field trip days. I would NOT trust this little boy in my car ever again-I don't care if it is for 1 minute or 1 hour. Hopefully most of it got on him and the carseat and not all over the car itself.

[QualiTcare]

i disagree - surprise.

first of all, i CAN see how a five year old would vomit and not say anything. i used to get sick when i was a kid (even older than five) and not be able to make it to the toilet. of course, i told my mom about it, but that was my mom! he was probably afraid to tell you! yeah, it's annoying, but not insane.

secondly, if i was at work and i got a call to come pick my child up 1.5 hours away because they were sick and i was paying for someone to care for them - i'd laugh. nobody told you to go that far and not be prepared with extra clothes OR to even leave if you had to. it doesn't really matter if your son would be sad. you were WORKING and your son doesn't pay you. the zoo would be there the next day and the day after that....and it's not like you had just paid and entered the park when the kid got sick. you would've lost 1.5 hours of driving and a few bucks in gas. big deal. i'd never drag a kid around the zoo in the blistering sun after they had vomited.

question: if the tables were turned and it was YOUR son vomiting, would you have called a family member to come pick him up so the daycare boy wouldn't have to miss out on the trip? would you even expect someone to drive to you and back when you could simply return home RIGHT THEN without having to wait? nope.

the only thing i do agree with is that the mother should've told you he gets car sick, but if he's never gotten sick on that short of a trip - that's not too crazy either.

[Unregistered]

I have to admit, I would get pretty ticked if I had to drive 1 1/2 hrs to pick up my kid. My workplace probably wouldn't be to pleased either. Especially if it weren't my decision to have my child go on a field trip to begin with.

As a rule of thumb, I would not go on a trip longer than 45 minutes away. Anything can happen.

[Greenshadow]

I have to agree. If my provider called me up and told me to come and pick up my child and it was an hour and a half away, I'd be upset too. Granted, she should have said something. But you should be prepared for things to happen. I know you cant be prepared for someone throwing up, but I had a daycare girl once that I watched every day. She had to go with us one time to Redding. The drive was about 2 hours one way. She got sick and threw up all over my seat. I didnt freak out about it. I just pulled over and cleaned her up, changed her clothes and on we went. Unfortunately, I had to put up with the SMELL all day in 100 degree heat (good thing for a/c, but it was still there) and I had to clean the van myself when I got home. I didnt charge her to detail my van because I was capable of cleaning it up myself, even though it got down into the cracks and everything. I called her mom and let her know what happened and she told me that she got sick on that car ride from time to time and had forgotten but that she'd give her something to take for the next time. She was so apologetic. You have to remember that parents are people too. They dont think of everything all the time. She should have told you but maybe she just forgot because she had a million other things on her mind that morning. The girl I watched was 7 years old; never mentioned to me she was sick or getting sick. I had no clue. Do I blame her? No way. She's the child. Regardless of her age. I was the new provider and she didnt know me well yet. She had no idea if I was going to be mad at her. She had no idea how i was going to react. I didnt expect her parent to come get her from Redding so that my husband and I could go to his doctor appt.

[mac60]

You did the right thing to call parents. The parents are in the wrong here. It is/was their responsibility to have told you that he gets car sick, and for them to take the appropriate measures when they KNEW you were going on a field trip. Anti nausea meds or just doesn't go. Obviously the parents knew you were going to the zoo and were ok with him going that far. They knew he gets car sick. They knew all of this yet did nothing to inform you that he pukes in the car. Seriously, how can they forget to tell. My guess, if they told you, then there would of been a possiblity that you would of refused to let him go, they probably took their chances he wouldn't puke.

As far as him not telling you. Yes, he is old enough to tell you, especially after the fact, and I too would be pissed he didn't speak up.

I would take the car to a auto detailer that can clean the interior and present the family with the bill. I would probably never allow this child to ride in my car again. There was no way for you to have known he gets car sick, I too would of thought at first it was a sickness.

As a provider, I think 1 1/2 hours is quite a trek for an outing, and I know most of my parents would not allow that. I don't transport anywhere ever. I think these kind of trips need to be left to family only outings on the weekend. My job as a daycare provider is no different than if I was leaving for 10 hours to work outside the home.

[Greenshadow]

You did the right thing to call parents. The parents are in the wrong here. It is/was their responsibility to have told you that he gets car sick, and for them to take the appropriate measures when they KNEW you were going on a field trip. Anti nausea meds or just doesn't go. Obviously the parents knew you were going to the zoo and were ok with him going that far. They knew he gets car sick. They knew all of this yet did nothing to inform you that he pukes in the car. Seriously, how can they forget to tell. My guess, if they told you, then there would of been a possiblity that you would of refused to let him go, they probably took their chances he wouldn't puke.

As far as him not telling you. Yes, he is old enough to tell you, especially after the fact, and I too would be pissed he didn't speak up.

I would take the car to a auto detailer that can clean the interior and present the family with the bill. I would probably never allow this child to ride in my car again. There was no way for you to have known he gets car sick, I too would of thought at first it was a sickness.

As a provider, I think 1 1/2 hours is quite a trek for an outing, and I know most of my parents would not allow that. I don't transport anywhere ever. I think these kind of trips need to be left to family only outings on the weekend. My job as a daycare provider is no different than if I was leaving for 10 hours to work outside the home.

I dont know how you can stay in business being so harsh. I mean, its throw up. He didnt spew acid all over the car. I had to deal with it and move on with my life. We work with children, people!!

[Persephone]

Thanks everyone. We've got both sides here.

As far as telling her she needs to make other plans on field trip days...they are the only family that have that I watch (other then my nephew twice a week) so I'm not sure how I could handle that. Since it would be his sister going but not him?

And for the 'long' tip being 1 1/2 hours. We basically live in the middle of no-where with nothing but a few play parks to do. So any other type of trip is at least an hour from here.

And like I said that was the whole plan for the summer was to take on School aged kids so I could tell do the outings that my son and I like to do. I figured that he would enjoy having another child or two on trips and I'd enjoy the little spending money from it.

I think my biggest concern was if I was to turn around (or even wait till the end of the day) that the child would have most likely kept puking in my car. Most of it did get just on him, but it was all over the seat belt that over over him and some on the seat and floor. I'm not a major germ-aphobe but I am enough that I was totally grossed out that I had to try to clean him up enough to just drive anywhere.

I did clean the belt, seat and floor last night with soapy water and left the back vents open to air out. I did not smell anything too bad last night. The thought of puke smell this summer in a hot van makes me sick myself.

[Persephone]

I have to admit, I would get pretty ticked if I had to drive 1 1/2 hrs to pick up my kid. My workplace probably wouldn't be to pleased either. Especially if it weren't my decision to have my child go on a field trip to begin with.

As a rule of thumb, I would not go on a trip longer than 45 minutes away. Anything can happen.

Either way, if the child was sick they would have had to take off work.

And basically it was part of their decision to bring their kids here for the summer was to go on field trips.

[Persephone]

secondly, if i was at work and i got a call to come pick my child up 1.5 hours away because they were sick and i was paying for someone to care for them - i'd laugh. nobody told you to go that far and not be prepared with extra clothes OR to even leave if you had to. it doesn't really matter if your son would be sad. you were WORKING and your son doesn't pay you. the zoo would be there the next day and the day after that....and it's not like you had just paid and entered the park when the kid got sick. you would've lost 1.5 hours of driving and a few bucks in gas. big deal. i'd never drag a kid around the zoo in the blistering sun after they had vomited.

Like I posted either way they would have had to take off work for their child being sick. I had no way at that point to know if it was just car sickness or being sick. If I was at home and a child puked I would not wait to call the parents to come right then to get them. I would it be different on a trip?

As for as being prepared, who thinks that you need extra clothes for a 5 year old...who you have no clue gets car sick? He had extra pants since we were going to play in water while there.

And if it was my son who did it...I would have knew in advance that my son gets car sick and would have took measures to make sure that he would have made it okay. And no I would have not called a family member to pick him up, because I AM his back up sitter.

Once when I was working earlier on when DS was a baby, he had (another) ear infection and I had to call in to take him to the doctor that day and they asked me if I had a family member I could call...hmmm no...I am his family member.

[kimsdaycare]

I probably would have called the parents to give them a heads up, but attempted to let him recover and just attend the zoo once I knew it was car sickness. I'd be upset they didn't tell me, but wouldn't blame the child for clamming up. I know sometimes before being ill the last thing on my mind is to talk about it, especially if I am in a situation where I'm doing all I can to not get sick. For a child that is a very uncomfortable feeling when mom and dad aren't there. My guess is that he had very little warning and panicked when it came. Puking several times tells me that poor kid was hit pretty violently. I wouldn't have them come pick up that far away. It just would make me feel bad. I don't like feeling bad, I'd rather feel like I went above and beyond. It's just me, I prefer to keep everything simple. 1 1/2 hrs return trip with me in a car that is already pukey just seems more logical than 3 hrs trip for a parent just so he can taint their car too. My son would miss out on the zoo today, but another day I'll make it up to him. DCB would be required to sit out the next one or be medicated for the trip. No exceptions.

As for the car - I'd just clean it. Unless I could guilt the parents into offering Which I would definitely attempt to do. But I certainly wouldn't plan on fighting over it. I know I should. But I know I wouldn't.

[Persephone]

I probably would have called the parents to give them a heads up, but attempted to let him recover and just attend the zoo once I knew it was car sickness. I'd be upset they didn't tell me, but wouldn't blame the child for clamming up. I know sometimes before being ill the last thing on my mind is to talk about it, especially if I am in a situation where I'm doing all I can to not get sick. For a child that is a very uncomfortable feeling when mom and dad aren't there. My guess is that he had very little warning and panicked when it came. Puking several times tells me that poor kid was hit pretty violently. I wouldn't have them come pick up that far away. It just would make me feel bad. I don't like feeling bad, I'd rather feel like I went above and beyond. It's just me, I prefer to keep everything simple. 1 1/2 hrs return trip with me in a car that is already pukey just seems more logical than 3 hrs trip for a parent just so he can taint their car too. My son would miss out on the zoo today, but another day I'll make it up to him. DCB would be required to sit out the next one or be medicated for the trip. No exceptions.

As for the car - I'd just clean it. Unless I could guilt the parents into offering Which I would definitely attempt to do. But I certainly wouldn't plan on fighting over it. I know I should. But I know I wouldn't.

I was so back and forth on this. The mom asked me to ask him if he was just car sick like before or if he felt like he didn't feel good and he said he didn't feel good at all. So she even thought that it might be something other.

If he would have got more puke on my car then he did and I did have to get it cleaned (other then what i could do) I would have most likely asked the parents to cover it.

They are to show up at anytime now and I'm nervous about what to do.

Personally I did not say that you must come an hour and half to pick him up...she offered it. But I was not willing to sit it in a parking lot for that long.