Is This A Bad Idea?

[justgettingstarted]

My sister-in-law is due with her first baby at the end of October. She just contacted me asking if I could watch her baby 2 or 3 days per week (my choice MIL could watch him one day if I want) when she's ready to return to work. She said she would pay whatever I regularly charge and would really like him to be with family rather than another daycare. They are not flakey and money isn't an issue. I don't think I would have problems with them however working with family makes me nervous, especially since they are my husbands family and we aren't particularly close.

For those of you that watch kids of close family members, have you had issues? Any advice? Also, I would normally charge a fee to hold the spot (will probably be 6 months which is quite a lot of money to lose) but I really don't feel comfortable asking them to pay me to hold it. I'm also nervous about having my own baby just 5 months after her son is born although I'm expecting to have an assistant after my own comes. I would really like to watch him but I need to think this through well so any advice, comments, additional things to consider would be appreciated. Thanks!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would not do it.

[Crazy8]

I wouldn't - you are already saying you wouldn't feel comfortable asking them for payment to hold the spot..... that is just the tip of the iceberg in dealing with family!!!! I would say no.

[DaycareMom]

i wouldn't - you are already saying you wouldn't feel comfortable asking them for payment to hold the spot..... That is just the tip of the iceberg in dealing with family!!!! I would say no.

^ 100% agree!!!

[MsMe-can't log in]

I wouldn't. Learn this lesson the easy way...


I don't have any family that would need daycare but many of my friends have had children inthe eight years I have been doing daycare and I hold firm on the no friends and family rule. Most take 'no' easily, but I have had to be firm with a couple. Maybe it would all workout but chances are too high it wouldn't. You have to be famly with this women for the rest of your life...so if there was trouble you would a have a triple hard time terming.

[crazydaycarelady]

Don't do it!!

There will be problems, trust me. I watched for my SIL and she got mad at my dh (her brother) and just up and never showed up for dc again. Plus I ended up letting her stay late, she got mad that I didn't give nephew dinner, etc.

[littlemissmuffet]

You're already having issues - as a previous poster pointed out, you aren't even comfortable asking them to pay to hold the space... causing you to lose out of six months worth of income... for a PART-TIME kid. Now imagine how uncomfortable you become when the child is brought to your home sick, or brings a toy/food from home, or the child has behavioral issues... or any of the issues childcare providers have with their clients day in and day out???

I wouldn't do it. I don't take family, friends or neighbors as clients. I know this saves me alot of potentional problems.

[kathiemarie]

I would give it a try. This is my story. When I frst started my younger brother had a baby and I watched her. It was awful. He was late picking up, late paying, everything we hate! (He is my forvorite and the baby so I never said anything to him) A lot of it the problems were because I didn't go into it like a business relationship. I was new at DC and to be honest I made the same mistakes with non-family too. It was hard on my relationship with my sister in law. They are no longer married. Now 8 years later I watch the same brothers step daughter. (she is like his own calls him dad etc.) When they asked me to watch her I told them between the hours of 7:30 and 5 they are clients and they have to follow the same rules as everyone else. I treated them like anyone else. They pay the same rates, late fees, holding fees etc. I would do the same with your family. Sit down with them and talk about your concerns. Let them know that if they are not comfortable with your policys that you would understand if the go else where. (my sister didn't bring her kids to me because they wanted special and I wouldnt do it for them. No big deal we are still close.) It can be a wonderful thing. Cousin will get to "grow up" together. Good luck!

[Blackcat31]

I think the biggest thing about working with family or friends is YOUR ability to stand your ground and use your backbone.

If you are unable to enforce your rules and policies to your clients then it won't work.

Despite being family (or friends) you still have to treat them like clients if you expect them to treat you as a service provider and business owner....kwim?

That is the deciding factor in my opinion. I have had friends and family as clients before and the working relationship was/is a success but I truly believe it was because I have no issues enforcing my rules/policies for everyone. I am very good at separating business from personal and all my clients know that from the get go.

If you don't think you can stand your ground and require the same from them as you would any other client then I would pass on taking them.

If you feel you can, then win-win for everyone.

Only you can decide where you stand and if you can or can't do that.

[Kiki]

I think the biggest thing about working with family or friends is YOUR ability to stand your ground and use your backbone.

If you are unable to enforce your rules and policies to your clients then it won't work.

Despite being family (or friends) you still have to treat them like clients if you expect them to treat you as a service provider and business owner....kwim?

That is the deciding factor in my opinion. I have had friends and family as clients before and the working relationship was/is a success but I truly believe it was because I have no issues enforcing my rules/policies for everyone. I am very good at separating business from personal and all my clients know that from the get go.

If you don't think you can stand your ground and require the same from them as you would any other client then I would pass on taking them.

If you feel you can, then win-win for everyone.

Only you can decide where you stand and if you can or can't do that.

I watch both of my nieces, and have since they were 5 and 6 months old, (oldest is 10 now, youngest will be 5 in August. I watched my older niece when she was younger as well, but that was way before i started my day care) I've never had any issues. As far as following policies, and on time payments, my sister follows my rules better than most of my parents do. But my sister also understands that this is my business, and it's 50% of the income for my family, it's not something I do for fun, or as a favor to her.
I think it all just boils down to what Blackcat said above, if you can stand your ground and have them follow everything that you have in place for your business, there shouldn't be any issue.
You just need to make it very clear once care begins that you are not watching their baby as a favor to them, you are watching their baby because it is how you provide for your own family, and it is 100% strictly business with them.
If you don't think you can do that, then I would suggest you don't go down the road at all as it will cause nothing but headaches for both of you.

[Truly Scrumptious]

Yes, I've done it and Yes there have been issues....my advice...DO NOT DO IT!

[MyAngels]

I agree with BlackCat and Kiki. I've had several close friends' kids and grandkids in the daycare over the years and they've been my best clients.

It's all about making sure everyone is clear on the expectations. I'd sit down with her and have a frank talk about what your concerns are, starting with the fee to hold the spot. She may just surprise you with her understanding.

One thing I always think about in these situations is what would I want, if I were the parent looking for care. I'd want my child to be with someone that I trusted implicitly - family, or a close friend. I want to be able to offer my services to friends and family first, complete strangers second.

[mema]

If you can use your backbone and stick to the policies just like other families and you want to do it, go for it. If you can't do that or don't want a part timer and don't want to hold the spot for that long, don't do it.

Also, another thing to really consider, is if you want an infant at the same time as your own-family or not. My children weren't babies when I started doing daycare, so I'm not sure, but I probably wouldn't want another baby at the same time as mine. Right now I won't even take 2 babies at once.

[justgettingstarted]

You've all given me a lot to think about and that's what I asked for so thank you!! I don't operate at capacity so I would actually prefer the baby to be here only part time. I think my main hesitation now is having two babies at once. Even with my mom helping as an assistant I think it would be too much. All of my kids would be hitting the potty training and beginning preschool age at that time.

The alternative is to close my daycare and go back to work part time and swap child care with SIL so we both get free child care for our babies. I would actually make the same amount as I do now and would watch only one additional child on my days off. I know that would be a lot easier in the end and my husband would be happy to have our house back to normal but I'm really starting to like daycare! Again lots to think about!

[cheerfuldom]

You've all given me a lot to think about and that's what I asked for so thank you!! I don't operate at capacity so I would actually prefer the baby to be here only part time. I think my main hesitation now is having two babies at once. Even with my mom helping as an assistant I think it would be too much. All of my kids would be hitting the potty training and beginning preschool age at that time.

The alternative is to close my daycare and go back to work part time and swap child care with SIL so we both get free child care for our babies. I would actually make the same amount as I do now and would watch only one additional child on my days off. I know that would be a lot easier in the end and my husband would be happy to have our house back to normal but I'm really starting to like daycare! Again lots to think about!

I have been in the same situation and trying to figure out if it was worth it. I have stuck it out for five years though so that I am home as much as possible with my kids. Its not ideal to be doing daycare at the same time but for me, its better than putting my own kids in daycare if I was to return to work.