Bye Bye / Weight Lifted / Guilt

[PitterPatter]

I finally did it, I finally termed my dirty, entitled, disease bringing client! I had so many of you try to guide me to term them in the past but I was desperate and felt for the kids. After the kids bringing yet another dose of a contagious disease I had really been about to jump over the fence anyway. They have been out of daycare more than a dozen time in about a yr & 1/2. Always bringing a new serious illness such as scabies, MRSA, even smaller things like strep, dermatitis, and pink eye repeatedly reinfected. Thank God no one else in the daycare caught any of it. Then the clients never want to pay a small portion the state requires yet they smoke Marlboro cigs and rub snuff. Yet can't afford diapers ... the boy always being destructive... 4 & 3 yrs old still in diapers... I was supplying clothing and shoes even some diapers and wipes. The mom would have capris on the girl in winter and sweat shirts in 90 deg summer day! The 3 yr old came in a 6 month baby shirt the last I saw him, we couldnt even get it off when he spilled on it I think some will remember them.

Anyway the Mom called off all the time because she didnt feel like working on top of taking weeks off at a time for sick kids so I knew it was a matter of time. Here she was fired 2 weeks ago and never told me in hopes her spots would be held here. She is getting another job but I told her her spots were filled. I just cant do it anymore. Always lying and cheating and not bathing her kids... I would literally have to wipe them down upon arrival before breakfast.

I feel bad for the kids. I will miss them they were basically good kids but I can not risk any more diseases in my home. I have spent too much time and money having to disinfect everything over and over and treat ourselves with meds just in case because we were exposed. I really fear for the other kids (only 2 of them) what if the dirty family brought in something that cant be cured... I let them go and at 1st I was so worried about finances but now after a few days I feel releaved actually! I am behind on bills and rent because they havent been here much in the past 3 months anyway. I could let them back but I would rather be poor than catch something. I just wish I had a way to help the kids. Now they wont have the stability, cleaned everyday, fed everyday, changed into clean diapers... they will be back to sitting in filth

I did the right thing though. I am 99.9% sure. I have to accept that I can't save them all. I just wish I didnt feel guilty over it.

[Sprouts]

Well it sounds like neglect on parents side, that would definitely warrant a call to child protective services.

[Meyou]

lovethis You did the right thing.

[PitterPatter]

Well it sounds like neglect on parents side, that would definitely warrant a call to child protective services.

That was done long ago. They were visited and nothing more happened as far as I know. :confused:

[PitterPatter]

lovethis You did the right thing.

Thank u!

[SilverSabre25]

Things will go so much smoother for you without that family to worry about. We try and we try to save all of them but we can't. You tried, you tried so hard--we all know how hard you have tried and how much anguish and heartache this family has caused you.

You did everything you could...this family was just beyond help. What you did do, beyond a shadow of a doubt, was give those children your best every day they were with you. You cleaned them up, you helped them out, you showed them that there are people in the world who care about them and that there is a different way of being from the one they are learning at home.

They are both young enough and old enough, that those things they experienced with you may just be the catalyst later that propels them into getting OUT of there, OUT of that situation and OUT of that life. You selflessness and compassion may have laid the groundwork that will save those kids from repeating their mother's stupidity.

When they grow up, they may not remember YOU, but they may remember, on a deep, unshakeable level, that people care, that some people are different, that it doesn't have to be the way they grow up.

No matter what, you were a force for good in their lives, and that will never change.


((HUGS))--you've done the right thing every step of the way.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Many, many hugs.

[saved4always]

Many, many hugs.

This from me, too. And you did the right thing. 100%

[Heidi]

Things will go so much smoother for you without that family to worry about. We try and we try to save all of them but we can't. You tried, you tried so hard--we all know how hard you have tried and how much anguish and heartache this family has caused you.

You did everything you could...this family was just beyond help. What you did do, beyond a shadow of a doubt, was give those children your best every day they were with you. You cleaned them up, you helped them out, you showed them that there are people in the world who care about them and that there is a different way of being from the one they are learning at home.

They are both young enough and old enough, that those things they experienced with you may just be the catalyst later that propels them into getting OUT of there, OUT of that situation and OUT of that life. You selflessness and compassion may have laid the groundwork that will save those kids from repeating their mother's stupidity.

When they grow up, they may not remember YOU, but they may remember, on a deep, unshakeable level, that people care, that some people are different, that it doesn't have to be the way they grow up.

No matter what, you were a force for good in their lives, and that will never change.


((HUGS))--you've done the right thing every step of the way.

Well said! Welcome back Pitter!

[Blackcat31]

I did the right thing though. I am 99.9% sure. I have to accept that I can't save them all. I just wish I didnt feel guilty over it.

happyfacehappyface Definitely doing the happy dance for you! happyfacehappyface

...yes, you did the right thing! You will no longer be part of enabling this mother! I know you will miss the kids and feel bad for them, but honestly this mom was setting her kids up to learn from her and the kids will mroe than likely have even more issues as they grow older.

You at least gave them a bit of stability in their lives and whether they remember you for that or not is moot because it isn't YOUR job! BUt I am pretty positive that some of what you gave those kids will be imbeddied in them and although you may never see the results you did give them something. (caring, empathy, understanding, support, and unconditional love).

You went above and far beyond for this family. You did what you could (even forfeiting yourself sometimes) and you are right, as sad as it is, you cannot save them all.

You will be so glad to be done now and I am glad you finally got there!

[My3cents]

you got some good advice and I would advertise like crazy to fill the spots.

Everyone lives differently and you really can't fix everyone. Its hard to see, and hard to deal with. I have taken care of children, the means were there but the parent chose to be lazy,not care, whatever- how sad is that. I had to rethink my thinking that not everyone has the same priorities that I have. Never settled well with me, but still it is the fact. I would go to the ends of the earth for my kids as most of us if not all here would. Some parents would go to the local corner store first. I had one parent that would come in dressed to the nines, and her child was fresh out of bed, soaked diaper, dirty, she just figured it was my job and her job was to take care of herself- sad. Everything else I loved about the mom. Her idea of kids were that kids, get dirty, have runny noses, were ok if they ate junk foods etc... You can get your daycare to were you only have people that mesh well with how you live, it just takes a while because you have to weed, and not be willing to take on the caos.


I have found over the years that the daycares that do the best, stay in business for the longest, and are full are the ones that have clear applicable rules and they are carried out. They don't allow sick kids to come to care from the get go. I suggest if you don't already have a clear handbook/policy/rule book and contract, that you put one together and you follow it. When a parent tries to do something against your rules, you point it out in the book. They continue to do it you don't tolerate it. Very hard to do when you are a caring person and want to believe in the best of people. I do believe in the best of people but when you have someone that continues to push every button for special- well then you say enough is enough. I think it was enough a long time ago for you but you had to let it play out. Look forward to whoever fills the spots and hopefully it will be a better fit for you and your group. BEST-

[Meeko]

happyfacehappyface Good job! happyfacehappyface

[cheerfuldom]

I would call CPS again....

[Kaddidle Care]

Aww - I remember the stories about this family. I'm sorry you feel bad for the kids but you really earned your wings trying to help them and putting up with the parent(s).

I wouldn't call CPS again at this point or the mother will assume it was you.

Let the next care provider make the call - and the next, and the next. Hopefully the kids will get the care they so deserve once they take the calls seriously and make the mother actually care for her children, or they put them in foster care.

[momofsix]

You did the right thing. Don't feel guilty at all-you did so much for the kids and their mom. Already over and above what anyone would or could expect.

Now you will be able to wake up in the mornings ready to ENJOY your dayshappyface