OT- How Old To Leave Alone?

[juliebug]

This is for my own children not dcks How old would you child have to be to stay home alone.

would it matter the time of day too? like in the middle of the night or during the day?

I ask because last night my husband was in pain and had to go to the emergency room, at 1am! So i woke the kids up and dropped them off at my moms house. we wavered but i thought this way i wouldn't have to worry about the kids, because i knew they were safe.

I hate to say but we might have to take him again.

The kids are 11yrs and 8 yrs old.

[cheerfuldom]

Definitely take kids that young unless it was like a quick run to the gas station or something. I am very conservative on that though. I have no plans to leave my kids unattended at all for a looooong time.

[AfterSchoolMom]

I hope your DH will be ok!!

My oldest is 11 and I leave him for short periods (like if I have to go to the store). I don't go far and he knows my cell number.

My youngest is 9, and I'll leave him with his brother if I have to, say, go to a neighbor's house or if I'm going to the gym (also in my immediate neighborhood).

I wouldn't leave the 9 year old alone, though, and I wouldn't leave them at night just yet. We still get a sitter if we're going out for the evening.

I think, were I in your situation, I'd have done the same thing.

[e.j.]

My kids were 13 before I left them alone for any length of time but I tend to be a worrywart.

I would have done the same thing you did if I had been in your position. I wouldn't have wanted them to wake up in the middle of the night to find both of us gone. I also wouldn't want to wake them up to tell them we were going to the hospital, leaving them alone to worry about their dad at such young ages. I think you made the right decision. I hope your husband feels better soon.

[juliebug]

yeah we have a ruff road ahead of us. I sure i will have more things come up where i may have to take him to the hospital.

My husband was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer the beginning of the summer and we are going thru chemo and Radiation. He has up days and down days. Yesterday was down. A few of my daycare parents that have been here for years know the new ones don't. Its been a big change for us.

[mema]

Sorry to hear about your dh. Positive thoughts headed your way. ((hugs))

My kids are that age also. I will leave them if I just run to the gas station or the bank. I think the longest I've left them is 30 minutes and they know not to answer the door or phone (unless it has my number on it). I usually just let them watch a tv show because then I know they aren't causing trouble or fighting If it was in the night like that tho, I wouldn't leave them.

[safechner]

I wouldn't comfortable to leave my almost 10 and 11 years old daughters alone at home for a long time.

I have thought about leaving them home while they were in bed while I go work out for one hour (5am) but my husband won't let me. I feel my almost 10 years old can take care of her self and her oldest sister who has special needs. She is more mature than 9 years old. However, I do let them to stay in the car while I go pick up a few things in the store or returned items quickly. She would lock in with my key and she has my phone just in case. She would click "panic" on my key if stranger tried talk to her or something like that.

My husband and I would be comfortable for them to leave them home alone when my youngest daughter becomes 13 years old to be with her oldest sister if necessary.

[saved4always]

I am so sorry you husband is feeling ill. I hope that he is better soon and that another er trip is not needed!

I think I did not leave my kids home alone until the oldest was 12. And then it was only for an hour during the day at most and then we worked up to evenings. He had to watch his 3 year old sister though, which I needed to be comfortable with before I would leave them. My middle child would have been 10 then. My youngest is now 10 1/2 and I haven't even considered leaving her alone at any time...of course, she would be truly alone if her brothers are not here. At that beginning point, I would probably have left them with a neighbor to go to the ER and possibly called a relative to get them from there if needed. I would have been too nervous about how long we would be to leave them alone. But I am a worrier so I may be more conservative about this than other.

[saved4always]

yeah we have a ruff road ahead of us. I sure i will have more things come up where i may have to take him to the hospital.

My husband was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer the beginning of the summer and we are going thru chemo and Radiation. He has up days and down days. Yesterday was down. A few of my daycare parents that have been here for years know the new ones don't. Its been a big change for us.

I didn't see your this post until after I answered your original one. I will be praying for healing for your husband and peace for your family. I am sorry you are going through such a rough time.

[e.j.]

yeah we have a ruff road ahead of us. I sure i will have more things come up where i may have to take him to the hospital.

My husband was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer the beginning of the summer and we are going thru chemo and Radiation. He has up days and down days. Yesterday was down. A few of my daycare parents that have been here for years know the new ones don't. Its been a big change for us.

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. It must be a very stressful time for all of you. I hope his prognosis is good and that he recovers soon.

[Heidi]

Sending good wishes to your husband...

It depends so much on your children, their maturity level and personalities, where you live, and the length of time.

My 11 year old can stay at home all day by himself occasionally, and enjoys it. I would not leave him home alone at night. I think the first time he stayed home by himself for a half hour or so he was probably 8 or 9. BUT, he knew the rules: no cooking ANYTHING, no answering the door, etc. He would usually just play legos and watch TV. We gradually increased the time.

Since I have now-grown sons, they were "in charge" as teenagers quite often. We never had a problem, although we did recently hear about a few shenanigans happening on their watch. Nothing huge, but I believe someone ended up outside "streaking" around the house at one point. :: No wild parties, though, thankfully!

We can now leave leave both our 11 yob and our 15 yog at home for a long weekend, with various family members checking in randomly. Grandma or an aunt might come spend part of a day, or just check in. Certain neighbors also get a heads-up.

Since I am licensed, my children have had it DRILLED into their heads that anything they do (like have a drinking party) while we are away could cost me my license and livelyhood.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I feel comfortable leaving my teenager (who is over the age of 14) alone. But, he knows what to do in case of an emergency.

[Willow]

I actually called my licensor on this exact question recently.

She said first and foremost the best rule of thumb is *know thy child*
Some 18 year olds can't be trusted to be left alone for 5 minutes, other 7 year olds are fine to come home alone from school alone for a few hours.



She added if you think your child is ready (meaning understands what to do in an emergency, has a solid grasp of standing firm not answering the door, has good communication skills and has a multitude of people they can effectively reach if they need to) a good reference of appropriate time is an hour for each grade level the child is in. So my 8 year old going into the 3rd grade could technically be left alone for 3 hours, my 9 1/2 year old going into the 4th grade could be left for 4 hours. I don't think they're ready to be left alone that long but I do leave them to run 5 minutes into town to the bank or convenience store.


Aside from age/grade level I think location needs to be considered too. We live rurally, in an incredibly small town where everyone knows everyone and we can trust our neighbors. I think that community dynamic has influenced our comfortable level starting sooner rather than later. Before I moved up here I never would have considered it until they were much much older.

[originalkat]

I actually called my licensor on this exact question recently.

She said first and foremost the best rule of thumb is *know thy child*
Some 18 year olds can't be trusted to be left alone for 5 minutes, other 7 year olds are fine to come home alone from school alone for a few hours.



She added if you think your child is ready (meaning understands what to do in an emergency, has a solid grasp of standing firm not answering the door, has good communication skills and has a multitude of people they can effectively reach if they need to) a good reference of appropriate time is an hour for each grade level the child is in. So my 8 year old going into the 3rd grade could technically be left alone for 3 hours, my 9 1/2 year old going into the 4th grade could be left for 4 hours. I don't think they're ready to be left alone that long but I do leave them to run 5 minutes into town to the bank or convenience store.


Aside from age/grade level I think location needs to be considered too. We live rurally, in an incredibly small town where everyone knows everyone and we can trust our neighbors. I think that community dynamic has influenced our comfortable level starting sooner rather than later. Before I moved up here I never would have considered it until they were much much older.

Great information. I agree with this as well.

[SunshineMama]

I think it depends on your kids. I personally babysat for other neighborhood families when I was 10. Each child has their own level of what you can trust them with. I think a responsible 11 year old would be fine to leave at home if thu have been taught all of the necessary safety precautions and you are confident they will follow them.