What Should I Try?

[Kiki]

Absolutely! And I meant no disrespect to you and how you do things. You are spot on that we all need to do what works best for us. That is the beauty of self-employment and being able to be in a position of making the rules.

I don't think there is any ONE right or wrong way to do anything when it comes to kids. The way we choose to deal with each and everyone of them and the individual behaviors they each have is as unique and as different as they are.

Exactly! Do what works best for your group, or try a suggestion that is given here, and if it works fantastic, if not, that's ok too!

[Heidi]

I guess I could really care less if he doesn't want to pick up or join us with an activity in the house. But what about when you are leaving the house? We go to the park everyday. He knows this. He also knows how to put on his shoes and hat. It takes him a little bit longer than everyone else, but I give him a head start. When I say dcb go put your shoes on, he will start with the scream/cry/scowl. He use to run to do it because he loves the park and playing outside, now he just flat out refuses. I'm not going to ruin everyones park/outside time, but at the same time, he knows how to put his stuff on and I don't want to give in everytime and do it for him. His folks already baby him quite a bit and I refuse to do that.

Right now everyone else is playing play dough and he is just scowling at them. If scowls could start fires, my house would be in flames I just don't get it. All the things he use to do with a few time exceptions, and now, boom, no more.

Maybe he is just having a rough few weeks. Maybe he will turn around in a few more. I just hope it is sooner than later.

I do use that technique at times (I think it's called guided compliance). If I didn't, I would have one doing all the work (she's the oldest, and a "little mama"). I usually just do it long enough for the child to get that they are not going to just stand there...I'm serious. I also assign tasks...like " dck, show me where these cars go"

Honestly, it depends on a lot of things...the child's age (I would be more likely to do this with a toddler than a pre-schooler, for example), the child's temperment, and what the "incentive" is for pitching in. "Let's all clean up the (outdoor) play yard so we can go have lunch" usually gets me more compliance than "lets all clean up the play room so we can have lunch", for some reason..still trying to figure that out.

One of my kids is better if I assign a task and say "you can join us in the kitchen when you're done". Another is better with a "thinking spot" until he's ready to pitch in. The third needs more guided compliance, but he has some speech and language issues, so I am not always 100% sure he's getting what I tell him.

When my own kids were toddlers, I mostly used it for situations like if they walked away too far or stood on a chair, etc. I'd give an instruction, and if they didn't follow, I'd physically help them comply. After a while, they learned that I mean what I say, and they'd pretty much just do it the first time. I'd call that more "follow through" than guided compliance (or scoopy hands..).

[Truly Scrumptious]

I do use that technique at times (I think it's called guided compliance). If I didn't, I would have one doing all the work (she's the oldest, and a "little mama"). I usually just do it long enough for the child to get that they are not going to just stand there...I'm serious. I also assign tasks...like " dck, show me where these cars go"

Honestly, it depends on a lot of things...the child's age (I would be more likely to do this with a toddler than a pre-schooler, for example), the child's temperment, and what the "incentive" is for pitching in. "Let's all clean up the (outdoor) play yard so we can go have lunch" usually gets me more compliance than "lets all clean up the play room so we can have lunch", for some reason..still trying to figure that out.

One of my kids is better if I assign a task and say "you can join us in the kitchen when you're done". Another is better with a "thinking spot" until he's ready to pitch in. The third needs more guided compliance, but he has some speech and language issues, so I am not always 100% sure he's getting what I tell him.

When my own kids were toddlers, I mostly used it for situations like if they walked away too far or stood on a chair, etc. I'd give an instruction, and if they didn't follow, I'd physically help them comply. After a while, they learned that I mean what I say, and they'd pretty much just do it the first time. I'd call that more "follow through" than guided compliance (or scoopy hands..).