Crazy Tantrums Causing Havok

[Lilbutterflie]

I think mom perpetuates the situation and dad is of no aid. He is a child psychologist so instead of addressing the behavior, he leaves that part of things and focuses on why she is behaving that way. He tries to figure it out while mom is consoling her. I also think that boundaries are few and far between with the parents. They ask her all the time if she wants to do things and if she doesn't they make an effort to gain her approval before they do whatever it is.

I have a friend who is a child therapist. Love her to death, good friend. But her son, 2 yrs old, is absolutely out of control with his screaming tantrums. Part of the problem is, he is THE boss. She gives him a choice about EVERYTHING. He eats whenever he wants and whatever he pleases, refuses to sit still at a table to eat so he takes food & drinks wherever he plays, and she entertains him 100% of the time. She says he doesn't like to play alone.

Occasionally I watch him as a drop in if I have room; or in the evenings so his parents can go on a date. He never used to try the screaming tantrums for me. Never. Until a couple weekends ago when I agreed to watch him for a couple hours while his parents went out. He threw a screaming, kicking tantrum while his mom left. I put him in timeout and he started to kick my walls. I actually got eye level with him and gave him a very stern look and said "NO. You do NOT scream and kick." It stopped immediately. His screaming turned into whimpering that quickly calmed down to sniffles. His timeout was then done and he went to go play. Happy as a clam for the rest of the day, and I haven't seen a screaming tantrum (with me in charge) ever since.

Have you tried getting eye level with her and telling her this screaming is absolutely NOT acceptable? Have you gotten stern with her? Sometimes I will say "This screaming is NOT acceptable. If you do not stop when I count to 3, you go to timeout. 99% of the time, they are done by 3 and off they go to play.

[clep]

I have a friend who is a child therapist. Love her to death, good friend. But her son, 2 yrs old, is absolutely out of control with his screaming tantrums. Part of the problem is, he is THE boss. She gives him a choice about EVERYTHING. He eats whenever he wants and whatever he pleases, refuses to sit still at a table to eat so he takes food & drinks wherever he plays, and she entertains him 100% of the time. She says he doesn't like to play alone.

Occasionally I watch him as a drop in if I have room; or in the evenings so his parents can go on a date. He never used to try the screaming tantrums for me. Never. Until a couple weekends ago when I agreed to watch him for a couple hours while his parents went out. He threw a screaming, kicking tantrum while his mom left. I put him in timeout and he started to kick my walls. I actually got eye level with him and gave him a very stern look and said "NO. You do NOT scream and kick." It stopped immediately. His screaming turned into whimpering that quickly calmed down to sniffles. His timeout was then done and he went to go play. Happy as a clam for the rest of the day, and I haven't seen a screaming tantrum (with me in charge) ever since.

Have you tried getting eye level with her and telling her this screaming is absolutely NOT acceptable? Have you gotten stern with her? Sometimes I will say "This screaming is NOT acceptable. If you do not stop when I count to 3, you go to timeout. 99% of the time, they are done by 3 and off they go to play.

Yes I have tried that too in the beginning when it wasn't quite so bad. She would just move from crying to screaming at that ime. When she was not a screamer, she would cry if I was at all stern with her. Now she is screaming as mom and her are leaving their house and she screams all the way here, and until about 2-3 hours after she arrives. I don't get a chance to even talk with her at all. I believe the way the parents are dealing with her is creating the situation, but they say since she doesn't do that at home, it is stemming from here.

I believe that since she has no boundaries or challenges at home they probably wouldn't be seeing much resistance from her. Since she has them here, I now see nothing but resistance. Of course they don't see the lack of boundaries and since he is a child psychologist, he knows all.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I have a friend who is a child therapist. Love her to death, good friend. But her son, 2 yrs old, is absolutely out of control with his screaming tantrums. Part of the problem is, he is THE boss. She gives him a choice about EVERYTHING. He eats whenever he wants and whatever he pleases, refuses to sit still at a table to eat so he takes food & drinks wherever he plays, and she entertains him 100% of the time. She says he doesn't like to play alone.

Occasionally I watch him as a drop in if I have room; or in the evenings so his parents can go on a date. He never used to try the screaming tantrums for me. Never. Until a couple weekends ago when I agreed to watch him for a couple hours while his parents went out. He threw a screaming, kicking tantrum while his mom left. I put him in timeout and he started to kick my walls. I actually got eye level with him and gave him a very stern look and said "NO. You do NOT scream and kick." It stopped immediately. His screaming turned into whimpering that quickly calmed down to sniffles. His timeout was then done and he went to go play. Happy as a clam for the rest of the day, and I haven't seen a screaming tantrum (with me in charge) ever since.

Have you tried getting eye level with her and telling her this screaming is absolutely NOT acceptable? Have you gotten stern with her? Sometimes I will say "This screaming is NOT acceptable. If you do not stop when I count to 3, you go to timeout. 99% of the time, they are done by 3 and off they go to play.

I feel like I won the lottery by passing him up.

[Lilbutterflie]

I feel like I won the lottery by passing him up.

Honestly, when I watch him he is a pleasure!! You would think with him being 100% in control at home he would not be a first choice for a daycare child; but he is really well behaved once he knows he is not in charge anymore. His mom, on the other hand, is a really tough daycare parent to handle. I understand exactly why you said no to this family!

[MizzCheryl]

Yes I have tried that too in the beginning when it wasn't quite so bad. She would just move from crying to screaming at that ime. When she was not a screamer, she would cry if I was at all stern with her. Now she is screaming as mom and her are leaving their house and she screams all the way here, and until about 2-3 hours after she arrives. I don't get a chance to even talk with her at all. I believe the way the parents are dealing with her is creating the situation, but they say since she doesn't do that at home, it is stemming from here.

I believe that since she has no boundaries or challenges at home they probably wouldn't be seeing much resistance from her. Since she has them here, I now see nothing but resistance. Of course they don't see the lack of boundaries and since he is a child psychologist, he knows all.

It sounds like you are a a very able provider that knows how to handle kids. Sounds like YOU are doing everything right. There may be a few things you could try still but I doubt there are many. 2 to 3 hours of screaming just at drop off is ridiculous. Are you thinking of terming?

All the things I would try are things you are doing. I would probably start her out in time away or what ever with a toy all by herself. But if she is already sreaming for 2 hours geezzzz!!!
How can you stand it??
As Nanny de used to say, it might be time for mom and dad to learn a life lesson. (their kids getting termed from care)
They should be backing you up. But sadly many parents do not have our backs.

[clep]

It sounds like you are a a very able provider that knows how to handle kids. Sounds like YOU are doing everything right. There may be a few things you could try still but I doubt there are many. 2 to 3 hours of screaming just at drop off is ridiculous. Are you thinking of terming?

All the things I would try are things you are doing. I would probably start her out in time away or what ever with a toy all by herself. But if she is already sreaming for 2 hours geezzzz!!!
How can you stand it??
As Nanny de used to say, it might be time for mom and dad to learn a life lesson. (their kids getting termed from care)
They should be backing you up. But sadly many parents do not have our backs.

She is shrieking as we speak in her spot for about five min at a time. She stops shrieking and then walks into the main room. She gets about 20 steps into the room with us, starts shrieking again and walks back to her spot. She has done that about 10-15 times since she woke.

I have to give them 30 days notice according to our contract. Wow, didn't see this coming last year. Actually this whole year she has been awesome.

I am not about to fall for the whole "we have noticed not one difference in her at home". Children don't just change at one place without any change in the other. It will not be as profound since she is probably spoiled at home but something is not right.

[MizzCheryl]

Yeah the kid I had that screamed all the time, his parents said he didn't do that at home either. But I found out for a FACT that that was not true.
I wound up terming him and all my ather kids were so happy. The screaming was driving us all crazy!

A few months later I ran into someone that worked at his new center. She said he screamed everyday.

[MizzCheryl]

She is shrieking as we speak in her spot for about five min at a time. She stops shrieking and then walks into the main room. She gets about 20 steps into the room with us, starts shrieking again and walks back to her spot. She has done that about 10-15 times since she woke.

I have to give them 30 days notice according to our contract. Wow, didn't see this coming last year. Actually this whole year she has been awesome.

I am not about to fall for the whole "we have noticed not one difference in her at home". Children don't just change at one place without any change in the other. It will not be as profound since she is probably spoiled at home but something is not right.

Wonder why she would go from awesome to awful like that. The one I had was always a screamer. Not so much as ababy but as he reached toddler stage and beyond.