Embarrassed to Even Write This.....

[KBCsMommy]

One of my dc families abruptly left. They were a no call no show for 2 days. After calling the family for 2 days, Dcm finally returns my call to say they have enrolled their 19 mo dd in a center. When I asked why, dcm said she felt like my 4 yo ds was bullying her dd.

I was completely shocked. Although the two don't always get along I wouldn't classify it as bullying. Maybe more of a differing of personalities.
Dcm never brought any of this to my attention and never indicated they were concerned or unhappy.

When I asked dcm why she didn't talk to me about it she said " I did, remember when I told you dcg was saying "mine" that was because your son is always taking toys away from her and saying mine to her". I remember dcm bringing this up about a month ago, but dcm wasn't saying it as if it was an issue and never indicated she learned it from my son. She was saying it more like "dcg is saying mine now, oh great!!" Maybe I misread her or I didn't understand where she was coming from, but I never thought of it being because my son is bullying her.

So, since dcm did not give me any notice what-so-ever there is the contractual obligation that dcm and dcd signed which is the required two weeks written notice or 2 weeks payment, take your pick!!

Am I in the wrong for sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of payment, even though they pulled because of my son's poor behavior? I mean they never gave me any indication they were ever unhappy wtih dcg being here.

And then the issue with my son!! He ran off a client!!! OMG!!

Now what do I do!!!!!!

[Crazy8]

One of my dc families abruptly left. They were a no call no show for 2 days. After calling the family for 2 days, Dcm finally returns my call to say they have enrolled their 19 mo dd in a center. When I asked why, dcm said she felt like my 4 yo ds was bullying her dd.

I was completely shocked. Although the two don't always get along I wouldn't classify it as bullying. Maybe more of a differing of personalities.
Dcm never brought any of this to my attention and never indicated they were concerned or unhappy.

When I asked dcm why she didn't talk to me about it she said " I did, remember when I told you dcg was saying "mine" that was because your son is always taking toys away from her and saying mine to her". I remember dcm bringing this up about a month ago, but dcm wasn't saying it as if it was an issue and never indicated she learned it from my son. She was saying it more like "dcg is saying mine now, oh great!!" Maybe I misread her or I didn't understand where she was coming from, but I never thought of it being because my son is bullying her.

So, since dcm did not give me any notice what-so-ever there is the contractual obligation that dcm and dcd signed which is the required two weeks written notice or 2 weeks payment, take your pick!!

Am I in the wrong for sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of payment, even though they pulled because of my son's poor behavior? I mean they never gave me any indication they were ever unhappy wtih dcg being here.

And then the issue with my son!! He ran off a client!!! OMG!!

Now what do I do!!!!!!

from the terms of your contract you are absolutely in your right to send her a bill for the 2 weeks. I wouldn't hold my breath on actually getting the payment from her though. You can take it to court if you'd like but personally I couldn't be bothered and this is why I collect a deposit of 2 weeks. They get their last 2 weeks free if they give notice, but even if they don't give notice they never leave owing me money.

And while her reasons may be valid, she didn't go about it the right way at all. She didn't bring it to your attention as a problem, didn't discuss it, etc.. I don't know a single child in my 13 years as a parent who didn't go thru a bit of a "mine" phase at some point in the toddler years!!!

[Heidi]

Send her a bill, expect nothing, and chalk it up to a lesson learned. Get a deposit and/or payment in advance of care from now on.

As for your son, I'm sure he's a normal little boy, and guess what dcm?: Toddlers favorite words are "MINE" and "NO". DUH

Don't feel bad. Even if they were unhappy with anything, their child was not in ANY danger, ever, and to pull him without notice after signing a contract is called...WRONG!

[Truly Scrumptious]

Because of things like this, I now require parents to pay for their last two weeks of child care upon enrollement. That way if they skip out...I already have payment.

I would send a copy of their contract they signed (just the contract, not the policy) and highlight the part about the notice...then give them a deadline as to when you expect payment (and add any late charges). If they don't pay by the date given...turn them over to collections.

A provider friend of mine did this and the family would not pay...even after turning them over...the collection agency called and told her the next move was either to forget about it or take it to court. She chose court and won!
They tried all kinds of excuses....in the end the judge asked "Is this your signature on this agreement"? They said yes...the judge said "Then you have to pay it".
She did have to give the collection agency a % of what she collected, but she ended up with more money than it started out being because of added late charges.

[Heidi]

Because of things like this, I now require parents to pay for their last two weeks of child care upon enrollement. That way if they skip out...I already have payment.

I would send a copy of their contract they signed (just the contract, not the policy) and highlight the part about the notice...then give them a deadline as to when you expect payment (and add any late charges). If they don't pay by the date given...turn them over to collections.

A provider friend of mine did this and the family would not pay...even after turning them over...the collection agency called and told her the next move was either to forget about it or take it to court. She chose court and won!
They tried all kinds of excuses....in the end the judge asked "Is this your signature on this agreement"? They said yes...the judge said "Then you have to pay it".
She did have to give the collection agency a % of what she collected, but she ended up with more money than it started out being because of added late charges.

[BumbleBee]

My gut reaction is they were looking for a way out without having to pay 2 weeks notice. For whatever reason they wanted to put her in a center.

Regardless, I think you should send her a bill with your 2 week notice clause.

As far as your son, he's 4. He didn't purposefully run off a client-if he even did. I doubt that's why they left and they just saw it as an easy excuse. If it wasn't "bullying" it would be food/naps/discipline/play area/toys/etc.

Just wait until their little darling picks up some new "awful" habit from the center. It's going to happen and if they come crawling back in a few months I'd be inclined to tell them you are full.

Sorry to be so snarky tonight, but the whole "blame the provider's child" instead of being an adult and telling you the real reason they pulled their dd is just ridiculous.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Because of things like this, I now require parents to pay for their last two weeks of child care upon enrollement. That way if they skip out...I already have payment.

I would send a copy of their contract they signed (just the contract, not the policy) and highlight the part about the notice...then give them a deadline as to when you expect payment (and add any late charges). If they don't pay by the date given...turn them over to collections.

A provider friend of mine did this and the family would not pay...even after turning them over...the collection agency called and told her the next move was either to forget about it or take it to court. She chose court and won!
They tried all kinds of excuses....in the end the judge asked "Is this your signature on this agreement"? They said yes...the judge said "Then you have to pay it".
She did have to give the collection agency a % of what she collected, but she ended up with more money than it started out being because of added late charges.

EXACTLY this.

[KBCsMommy]

As for your son, I'm sure he's a normal little boy, and guess what dcm?: Toddlers favorite words are "MINE" and "NO". DUH

Exactly Right!!! Dcg was learning all this, you know terrible two's!!! I had a feeling that if I said dcg was saying any of this I would get the " well she learned it from your son"!


Just wait until their little darling picks up some new "awful" habit from the center. It's going to happen and if they come crawling back in a few months I'd be inclined to tell them you are full.

Right again!! I know a teacher at this particular center who very recently was complaining HFM Disease was running rampant, and the toddler room's children were horrible about biting and hitting!!!

That's going to be a shock to dcm and dcd when precious gets sent home for any sickness, dcg has only been sick here once in the 15 months shes been here. And hardly ever left with a scratch!!


As far as your son, he's 4. He didn't purposefully run off a client-if he even did. I doubt that's why they left and they just saw it as an easy excuse. If it wasn't "bullying" it would be food/naps/discipline/play area/toys/etc.

I don't blame my son!! And I agree they would have used any excuse they could find!!

As for the 2 week notice I sent a certified letter. If I don't get any response, Im going to send it to collections!! From now on Im going to collect a two week deposit when I enroll new families. They were my second family I enrolled so I was still new!

[cheerfuldom]

sounds like they were looking for a reason to leave. making one small comment and expecting you know that it was supposedly a huge concern to them is just ridiculous. this had nothing to do with your son. we've all seen this type of thing before. toy stealing is not bullying....kids take time to learn boundaries and toy stealing happens. its not like their kid was going home with bruises and bites and crying every day...now thats bullying.

[KBCsMommy]

sounds like they were looking for a reason to leave. making one small comment and expecting you know that it was supposedly a huge concern to them is just ridiculous. this had nothing to do with your son. we've all seen this type of thing before. toy stealing is not bullying....kids take time to learn boundaries and toy stealing happens. its not like their kid was going home with bruises and bites and crying every day...now thats bullying.

Completely agree cheer. This particular child would literally run in and hug my leg until I picked her up every single morning. Afternoons she would cry when dad picked her up, or wouldn't even acknoledge he was there.

Im sure they will figure out toy stealing happens when it itensifies more at the new school.

[MyAngels]

Completely agree cheer. This particular child would literally run in and hug my leg until I picked her up every single morning. Afternoons she would cry when dad picked her up, or wouldn't even acknoledge he was there.

Im sure they will figure out toy stealing happens when it itensifies more at the new school.

I once had a family that pulled their child for this very reason . You'd have thought they would be glad their child like it so much here, but no...

I would definitely go to whatever lengths I had to to collect that last two week payment - including court - even if I had to give a huge chunk up in fees, just because I'd rather pay a collection agency than have them get away with not paying. But, as I've said before, I'm kind of *itchy that way ::.

[Buxterboo]

HAHA (to the parents). Kids pick up ALL kinkds of stuff (bad words/manners, illness, attitude) at daycare. Now they are going to have to deal with the influence of the entire class vs "mine" from one boy. They will figure out that they made a mistake...

I hope you get the money they owe you and a new kiddo to fill that kid's spot!
P.S. I dont know ANY kid that hasnt said "mine." I think the parents were just looking for an excuse.

[cheerfuldom]

Completely agree cheer. This particular child would literally run in and hug my leg until I picked her up every single morning. Afternoons she would cry when dad picked her up, or wouldn't even acknoledge he was there.

Im sure they will figure out toy stealing happens when it itensifies more at the new school.

yup, they will have to learn the hard way. this whole thing reminded me of something that happened to me that was very similar. i had a little boy for almost a year and then the parents suddenly ditched me with no notice and the "reason" that was given was that my assistant (who no longer worked for me), forgot to feed one jar of food one day about a month ago. He ate 3 or 4 jars a day. mom saved this one mistake for when it was convenient to mention it instead of saying that day "hey DCB did not get all his food today. Can you tell me why that was?". I did not know anything about the mistake until way later. The last day of care, mom came and picked up and DCB was crying because he was not being held because I was holding my infant daughter. This was the only time EVER that he was crying at pickup. My thought was that mom was not happy to see that anyone, including an infant and my own child, would be given any attention whatsoever over her son even though he was almost a year at this point. Some parents like to live in the illusion that their kid is the only kid on the planet and the first time they see anything different, they freak out and assume that they can recreate that illusion somewhere else.

[dave4him]

We tend to consider the word mIne as a mean word here

[cheerfuldom]

We tend to consider the word mIne as a mean word here

I dont think anyone was saying that that word is okay to use, only that every kid learns it with or without the help of daycare and it takes time to learn how to use a more appropriate word or behavior instead. if a child uses this word, that doesnt mean that their daycare is a horrible place and from the sounds of the ratio and issues at the center, this little one is going to be learning a lot more than "mine" at this new daycare